A Sociopath in this 'Wonderful' World!
by H3ctic
Summary: Kazuma was a sociopath. He knew it well, and had for a long time. His life ended too quick, so he takes his chance at another. With fewer rules, smaller penalties, and little reason to hide, I wonder what a sociopath can get up to in this new world? Let's find out, shall we? Rated M for sexual references
1. Chapter 1

"Satou Kazuma-san, welcome to the after-life. Unfortunately, you have died. It may have been short, but your life is over."

Someone in this pure white room, that seemed to have neither an end, nor beginning, had started speaking to me.

The sudden change in my situation was rather startling.

I took notice of the words. I was dead, huh? When did- right. That _fuck_tard who was flying down a country road, 30 over, slamming into me while I was on a fucking _crosswalk_. Zero out of ten, would _not_ be hit again.

In this endless white room, there sat an office desk and chair, with the speaker sitting upon it.

If some type of God, existed, she was surely one.

She was beautiful. Stunning, really, but that isn't what led me to my conclusion. Just by looking at her, she gave off this… I'm not sure how to describe it. An aura, I suppose? Yeah, anyway, just looking towards her gave off this aura of Divinity (also something I can't really describe, sorry. Cut me some slack yeah? I literally just died). She had long, bright turquoise hair, and sapphire eyes set into a soft face. A (very) short navy dress, ending barely below her ass, covered a slim, but curvaceous body, one similar in age to my own. She had blue highlighted, white sleeves that somehow remained on her arms, despite no visible connection to the shoulder-less dress, and navy, soft-soled boots that extended up past her knees, with white socks passing up further to mid-thigh. Her outfitted was completed with a translucent pink scarf that seemed to hover above her pale shoulders.

"I'm dead then," She blinked her gorgeous sapphire eyes at me as I finally answered her, "So what happens now? 'Cos this place seems _way _too nice to be hell,"

"Hell? No, this isn't Hell. More like Limbo. And besides, you wouldn't be sent to Hell. You haven't done anything super evil in your life. Maybe not super _good_, and I'm pretty sure that being a shut-in NEET like yourself isn't really liked by your primitive society, but nothing _evil_," She casually responded.

Is this bitch really shit-talking me right after I died?

"Here is where you get to decide your fate after death. You can be reborn, your memories and experiences erased from your mind, basically going back to square one, or you can go to Heaven. Though, to be honest, Heaven isn't the utopia you little humans imagine it to be. There's nothing there. No manga, no games, no nothing. You don't even have a physical body so you can't have any _fun_ either," The way she said 'fun' left little confusion as to what she meant by it, "All you can do is bask in the sun with your predecessors and chat. Forever,"

That sounds like hell. For someone with the attention span of a goldfish- well, more like an ADHD goldfish- having no entertainment for all eternity would literally make me want to kill myself, but I wouldn't be able to do that either. No physical body, remember?

Fuck. That.

"Yeah, it's pretty bad," she said with a grin.

I said that out-loud, did I?

"But you don't wanna restart everything as just a baby either, do you? You don't wanna lose everything and go from scratch, so how about a third option?"

So she definitely wants me to choose option C, whatever it may be, considering how much she's putting-down the other two. But why? Why is it that she wants me to go for this tertiary option? I'll have to see what she proposes I guess.

And also- Note to self, this Goddess Aqua cannot do subtle, good to know. That, or she is _exceptional_ at faking being bad at being subtle, though I'm leaning towards just plain bad. _When you hear hoof beats, think horses, not unicorns_. Occarm's Razor, lead the way. But again, I'll have to wait to find out.

And yeah, I'm a very suspicious person. As Murphy's Law says, 'Anything that _could_ go wrong, _will_ go wrong. I live with a mentality along the lines of 'Hope for the best, expect (and, as such, prepare for) the worst' (well, more like 'Hope for better').

"And that would be?" I answer, after a short pause.

"Do you… like games?" she says with a grin

With that, she delved into her explanation. The gist of which is this; in an alternate world, there exists a Demon King. The Demon King and his army attacked, and the world was thrown into chaos.

Magic and monsters exist in the alternate world.

So it's basically the same world as nearly every fantasy light novel ever made or conceived. Sounds pretty cliché to me, but whatever.

"The people who died in that world were killed by the demon king army, and were very afraid, saying they don't want to die like that again. So, almost all the people who died rejected reincarnating into that world. That world would end if this continued, since babies would cease to be born there. Hence, it could be solved by sending the dead from other worlds over, right?"

That sounds like a pretty shit immigration policy. Also, I see a contradiction here. People have two options; go to Heaven, or Reincarnate, and since I'm sure not everyone chose reincarnation, that means we should have a decreasing population. She said that because no-one is reincarnating, they're running out of souls, which means souls are finite. So how is the population increasing? Stupid Goddess. Giving me contradictory information.

"And since we're sending people over, we should find people who died young and still yearn to live, sending them over with their original body and memories. It would be meaningless if they died immediately after going over, so we will grant a privilege to all those who are going to that other world, allowing them to take one thing they like to that world. It could be a powerful ability, an exceptional talent or god level weapons… What do you think? It might be another world, but you can live once more. For the people of that world, someone would appear who could fight immediately. How about it? Isn't this great news?"

She said '_That_ other world,' which means there's more than one. Cool to know.

The prospect of traveling to a parallel world was certainly a good one. Seems like it would be lots of fun. I'd have to be careful. The hazards are much bigger, and there won't be safety nets like what we've got on Earth. If I get injured in any major way, I might just be fucked. But, _magic_, so who knows.

"I have a question," I start, "Will I be able to speak the language of this world?"

It'd suck pretty hard if I couldn't.

"This isn't a problem," She begins, "With the gentle aid of the gods; you will have the language directly in your brain the moment you head over to the other world. You will even be able to read! But there is a side effect; your brain might be wiped blank if you are unlucky and you'll just go 'Poof'… And so, all you need to do is to choose a powerful ability or weapon."

Wait, "What do you mean; 'Poof'?" I asked

"I didn't say that,"

"Yes you did,"

She ignored me and instead pulled what looked to be a catalogue out from behind the desk.

"I can grant you one and only one power that would match any person. It could be a powerful unique ability, or a legendary weapon. Come, it can be anything. You have the privilege to bring this one thing to the other world. Now, brave hero, make your choice!" She declares as she tosses the catalogue into the air, pages scattering.

* * *

"Hey, hurry up. It doesn't matter which one you choose. I have no expectations of a shut-in NEET like you, so can you just pick one and be on your way? Anything will do, so hurry up!"

Bitch.

I had been looking through what was available here, and all of them were completely, nearly game-breakingly Over-Powered.

I responded with a flat face, and equally flat tone, "I died outside. I don't think I _can_ qualify as a shut-in… and hey, can I take stuff from Earth to the other world?"

"No," she answered, while munching some potato chips with a bored look on her face "You can only select from what's in this room,"

Only from this room? I guess that's fair, especially if it meant you could just ask for a nuke or something if there was no restrictions.

"It doesn't matter, just hurry up and choose! There are still many dead souls still waiting in line!"

Anything from this room.

Well, there's an idea.

She's a God, so she should be plenty powerful, right? And she did want me to choose quickly.

I couldn't help the vicious smirk that came upon my face as I rose to my feet.

"Ok… I choose you." I say as I point towards her.

Aqua looked at me surprised, still eating her snacks.

"Alright, please don't move from the centre of the magic cir-" She suddenly stopped, "…What did you just say?"

"Satou Kazuma-san," A new voice. I turned and looked up to see a woman with wings sprouting from her back. An angel? "We have heard your request, and as it is within the rules, it shall be granted. I will be taking over Aqua-sama's position from now on,"

Under my feet (and Aqua's), large magic circles appeared. Yeah, they were pretty cliché too. Lots of spirally and geometrical patterns, glowing, the whole nine yards. New world's up next I guess.

"Wait, huh, what is happening? Hey, you can't be serious, right? No, wait; hold on, this can't be right! Isn't it cheating to bring a goddess along? This shouldn't count! Wait! Please wait, okay?"

Aqua started panicking, tears in the corners of her eyes. She looked pathetic.

The angel spoke while facing Aqua: "Bon voyage, Aqua-sama. Pleases leave the rest to me. We will send envoys to welcome you back as soon as the Demon King is defeated. Until your return, I will handle all your tasks,"

"Wait! Wait! As a goddess, I possess healing powers, not combat abilities!" Aqua began, desperation clear in her voice, "It is impossible for me to defeat the Demon King!"

She's a healer? Cool. Hopefully death will have to try a tad bit harder if it wants to take me when I've got her on my six.

The angel ignored her as she fell to the floor in a heap, instead turning to me and offering a smile, "Satou Kazuma-san, you will now be transported to the other world and become one of the candidate heroes to defeat the Demon King. Should you be the one to defeat him, you will be given a gift, one befitting a world saviour… You will be granted a wish, and with it, all your desires may be made true,"

Oh? A wish? The stupid Goddess never bothered to tell me about that. If I'd known about the wish, I would have accepted without a second thought. I mean, c'mon; what _wouldn't_ you do for everything you ever wanted and ever could want?

"Hey! I was meant to say that cool line!" Aqua yelled.

Really? She's being taken from her place of comfort to a dangerous world where she will be forced to fight the most powerful threat it has ever seen, and she's complaining about her _line_ being taken? My god is she petty.

I decided to play along with Aqua's NEET shut-in perception of me, make it easier for my future self to 'convince' her to do all the work.

"So how does it feel to be companions with a man you look down on? Hey, you are the 'thing' chosen by me to be brought along. Since you're a goddess, use your godly powers to make my adventure a breeze!" I yelled out with an evil grin.

I understand that this seems to be rather counter-intuitive to getting her help, but going from bad to good builds a lot of trust and affection. The human (animals too!) brain's weird like that; you'll like someone more if they treat you poorly in small amounts, which is why people stay in toxic relationships for so long (a little psychology 101 for ya there). If they think they've seen your worst, and you look to be working against it? Easy way to earn Flags, right there.

"No! Being stuck in another world with a man like this! You've got to help me!" Aqua cried.

"Upon your awakening you will be able to speak the native language, and will be outfitted with some basic supplies. Go forth brave Hero! May you be victorious among the many hero candidates, and become the one to defeat the demon king… Well then, I bid you farewell!"

"Wahhh," Aqua cried (literally this time), "That's my line!"

Again with the line stealing? I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing.

She turned to me and with a vicious grin and dark voice I said, "Well Aqua, ready for an _adventure_?"

* * *

With my final line, a bright light surrounds the 2 of us, until I could see nothing else. Then, all feeling stopped.

While the carriage road past across the cobblestone, creaking loudly as it went, I was in the process of appreciating the fact that I was on another planet.

And I could tell it was another world with ease. The air was pure, clean, almost sweet, as it filled my lungs, cool and refreshing for my system. And yeah I know that was a whole lotta adjectives for _air_, but the difference was really that apparent. Red brick houses lined the streets, like something straight out of a medieval film. There was a complete absence of bikes, cars, powerlines, telephone poles… everything! Sure you could argue that maybe I was just in some suuuper remote place, which I would agree with, if it weren't for the people.

More specifically, the people that weren't all _human_. Animal ears. Feline, canine and many others blended seamlessly into hair and scalp. A girl passed, her ears elongated, and with such smooth, yet striking facial features, she was surely Elven.

"Ahhh…" Hmm, Aqua was whining.

As I turned my head to her, I noticed a bag on my left hip. I pulled it off and up to my face. I opened it and was met with a collection of silver coins, and one gold coin. Nothing else? Well, I guess the money can buy me all the equipment I need. Quickly counting, I saw that I had 20 silver coins, and just the one gold. I put my hand in and pulled out both a gold, and a silver coin… Oh cool, despite never having seen this alphabet, nor numerical system, I can read both just fine. The silver coin said 1,000 Eris, and the gold said 10,000 Eris, so I guess 'Eris' is the name of the currency; and I've got 30,000 of 'em, but I don't know how much that is worth when compared to Yen. Hopefully it's worth something like American Dollars, 'cos then I'd be pretty set, with a nice 3 million Yen worth of cash.

I doubt I'm that lucky. So hopefully it's similar to Yen, so I won't need to do any mental maths whenever I want to buy something. Okay, that thought right there? Perfect example of my mentality. Hoping for _better_, remember? I don't hope for the best, I'm not delusional, I simply hope for better.

With my essential overview complete, I finally acknowledged Aqua.

"Oi, you're being noisy. What if they think I am related to a crazy woman like you? So stop your screaming and-"

I was cut off as she screamed, jumped at me and grabbed me.

"Woah! What are you doing?!" Time for the positive attitude shift. "Look, I get it, alright? If you don't wanna be here then you can go back. I'll handle what I need to do for the future myself,"

Oh damn, that was a nice addition to the end there. Layering in a bit of guilt too? I've outdone myself. And aren't I such a kind and understanding guy? Ready to let her go back home, even if it meant detriment to myself.

I pushed her off lightly, expression apologetic, and she spoke with shaking hands.

"What are you talking about? I'm in trouble because I _can't_ go back! What now? Hey! What should I do now? What am I gonna do from now on?" She cried as she fell to her knees.

Yeah, she was stuck here, though I already knew that. The angel more or less said that Aqua can't come back until the Demon King was defeated. I didn't have a problem with saying that she has my approval to go back because I knew she couldn't.

Well then. Time to close the deal.

I knelt down in front of her and pulled her hands away from her eyes, and she brought her face up to look at mine. "Aqua… You're… stuck here now, and that's my fault," I began, guilt clear in my expression. I lifted my eyes from the ground to meet hers, hopefully expressing the determination in them to her, "I acknowledge that, so I'm gonna do _everything_ I can to make it up to you. I won't rest until you're back up there."

Aqua sniffled, eyes wide, hope blooming, "Promise?"

"Promise," I say, a light smile forming, and eyes showing sincerity.

"Alright," I begin quietly, as I stand, bringing her to her feet with me, "let's go find a guild hall and get ourselves started,"

"Okay," she mumbles, voice hoarse, pulling her hands from mine to wipe her face.

I turned away to find someone to get directions from. As soon as Aqua could no longer see me, all sign of emotion drained from my face. All the signs of guilt, determination and kindness dissipated instantaneously, instead being replaced with a smug grin.

God _damn_ am I good. I felt like the cat that caught the canary. Or, more accurately, a cat let into an enclosure full of flightless canaries, and was free to feast. _That_ is how you force dependence on yourself onto another. Aqua is _mine_ now, and I'll have her make this life a breeze. God it's hilarious how easy she was to bend, like a piece of fucking _string_. And the dumb whore wanted a promise? A fucking _promise_? Sure, why not? Not like it has _any _value whatsoever.

I approached an older woman, shifting my face to one of mild embarrassment, and asked "Excuse me- Could you please direct us to the Adventurers' Guild of this town?"

"The Guild?" She begins, "My, to not know where the guild is. Are you new to the town young man?"

So there is an Adventurers' Guild in this place. Despite lacking in many technological advancements, at least they've still got basic social control. That's what guilds are. Control of those who have the strength to harm many should they wish to.

"That I am ma'am," a friendlier smile coming to the forefront, "My friend and I have been travelling for some time to become Adventurers. We only just arrived today,"

The lying was easy. Well, actually, that's not completely true. Lying for me wasn't _easy_, it was _natural_. Lying instead of being honest is as difficult as breathing through the nose instead of the mouth. That is, not in the slightest. In fact, it happens more often than the other. Of course I'm not dumb enough to think that I can _only_ lie. Truth is just as important as fallacy. It's all about knowing when to use which. And that is something I've always known. Once you know how to truly lie, using them to manipulate people is child's play. Literally. That's how I used to play as a child. Bending people around me to my desires. Ahh… Those were good times.

"Then I welcome you to the town of novice Adventurers; Axel. You can find the Guild by following the main road, then, at the end, turning right. You'll see the signboard for it from there,"

Axel, the town of novice Adventurers. A town of beginnings then? That'll make things easier.

"Thank you for your help, and have a nice day!" I say brightly to the woman.

I step back to Aqua, "Come on then, let's get going," I say lightly, kind smile and voice returning.

I take one of her hands in mine, turned the way the woman said and began walking with Aqua in my steed.

I smile as I feel Aqua's free hand grasp onto my wrist, above her other hand.

This new world was going to be _fun_.

* * *

**That's the first chapter done! This is my first time trying writing outside of what was necessary for school work, so any and all feedback is appreciated.**

**If you haven't figured it out, this is a story of 'What is Kazuma was a sociopath?' and I've had the idea in my head for all of 3 days. **

**I chose to do it in Konosuba for a few reasons. 1 is that I love it, the show and books, but it has a very limited fandom here on Fanfiction and other such sites, so I thought I'd give it my Writers Virginity (lol that sounds incredibly cringe). Second is that I just got a whole lotta free time. I've only got 1 thing left and I'm done with Year 12 (Huzzah!), and that'll only take a few hours, but it's boring AF so I decided to try my hand at writing instead.**

**I could have done another story, as I have a bunch of ideas that I've wanted to write for ages, but have never had the time or motivation to do. Like, I've had almost half the plot planned out in my mind for a Percy Jackson story for like 5 **_**years**_**, and the same for one in RWBY which, while I haven't had as long, I've had that for years too. But, for some reason, recently I've just wanted **_**more**_** Konosuba.**

**I think it started when I was in Germany (I'm Australian). My family was on an 8 week holiday to Europe over Christmas, and we were visiting the family of a guy who had come to stay with our family during the year as part of this Youth exchange thing run by the 'Lion's Club'. He liked anime, but hadn't seen Konosuba, so I started watching it with him, and I got to remember all the hilariousness of it again, and it was great! **

**So I've been reading heaps of Fanfics of it, and *cough cough* **_**other**_** fan-created "entertainment" from the show, and I wanted to try make a contribution to it! And this was it. I hope you enjoyed, and let me know what you think of it! 'Cos honestly, I could use all the help I can get lmao.**

**Feel free to ask me stuff in the comments too. It can be anything! About the story, about me, whatever! I'll answer you as soon as I'm able!**

**That's all for now, see you in the next one!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Word Count: 3,501**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Kazuma, how come you were able to come up with such a believable excuse so quickly?"

We were walking to the Adventurers' Guild when Aqua asked me this question.

"Well," I began, aiming for a bashful look, "it wasn't too hard 'cos I didn't really have to lie, just phrase the truth in a way that made sense to the old lady,"

Pshh, _totally_ not lying. Giving false information by omitting the truth is still lying. It's like saying 'this virus just killed 200 people!' without bothering to say that over 99% of those infected survived. That is _totally_ lying, and I would know. Even the legal system agrees, just look up 'lying by omission' and you'll see yourself.

Why am I telling imaginary people to look something up?

Probably the whole isekai like setting I guess. It's pretty overused in light novels at this point. My whole scenario is reminiscent of one really. I'm not going insane just yet, alright?

"Oh," she says, "And how come you know that we should be signing up at the Adventurers' Guild? You were a shut-in NEET, so how do you know what to do in another world?"

Again with the 'shut-in NEET' shit? Really?

I level a light glare at her as I answer. "One: I did get out you know, I just prefer my own company, Two: I was in training, it just wasn't training for a job, and Three: I play heaps of games, and lots of RPGs start out just like this. Plus it makes sense, y'know? We wanna become adventurers, so we gotta sign up for it,"

I raised a hand to Aqua, stopping the question I could see was about to come, as with my little tirade complete, we had arrived at the Adventurers' Guild. It was a large place, built of stone, with a brick tile roof. Twin (magical looking) lamps sat upon small walls that lined the steps leading to the large, reinforce wood double doors, and above them sat a large blue and yellow crest, with red lining its typical heater shield shape.

As I stepped up to open the doors, the smell of freshly cooked food became apparent. I opened the door and stepped inside, holding the door open for Aqua to follow me through.

"Ah, welcome! Please approach the counter if you looking for jobs. If you're here to dine, please take any empty seat!" A voice called, originating from a waitress with short red (literally red, not orange) hair.

The slightly dim single roomed building seemed to double as a bar.

Armoured men sat in groups around the interior, but they weren't showing any sign of ill will.

But new faces seemed like a rarity, as it wasn't long until we became the centre of attention.

"Hey, hey, they're looking at us way too obviously. It must be the Holy Aura coming from me; they must have discovered that I'm a goddess,"

Holy Aura? Is that what it's called? It fits, I suppose. And speaking of, it's diminished since we got here, pretty significantly too. While before it was impossible not to notice, now it quite easily faded into the background, unnoticed.

"It's more likely that they're just looking at us 'cos we're new. Also," I said, leaning in, "keep your divinity on the down-low yeah? I'll explain why in a little bit okay?"

She looked confused, but nodded regardless.

"Alright," I began again, "We're gonna go up and get registered as adventurers, and when we do that, they'll give us a basic tutorial so we can earn a living. That's what Adventurers' Guilds are for, at least partly. We can get a loan if need be, buy some equipment, take some simple quests and start earning some money. That's how most games that are like this start out. For today, we'll just register and find a place to sleep,"

"I think I get it," she starts, "My job was sending the dead to this world, so I'm not familiar with games, but what you said was common sense for this world. So I just need to register to be an adventurer too, right?"

"Right, let's go then,"

We walked to the counter. There were four counter staff, two male and two female. Three of said staff were busy, so I stepped up to the fourth.

"Good morning, how may I help you?"

The woman at the counter was beautiful. Curtains of blond hair fell in waves around her face, the colour accentuated by her amber eyes. Said eyes were set into a soft and pretty face, giving a youthful look in opposition to her more mature figure. She wore a shirt collar, oddly separate from her top, with a simple red bowtie wrapped around it. Her shirt was shoulderless and long sleeved, with simple navy cuffs at both her wrists and her shoulders. From what I could see, she had a nicely proportioned figure, shoulders broad enough to support two (very) large breasts, ones that were shown off by her open shirt, before thinning nicely at the waist, then widening at her hips.

"My companion and I would like to become adventurers," I started, "but to be honest; we don't really know much about the whole thing,"

Hopefully with that line she'd give a more thorough explanation

"I see. There is a registration fee, will that be alright?"

Standard stuff then. Thanks for the money then Angel lady, 'cos I have a feeling that Aqua would have just forgotten.

"Sure, how much is it?" I answer her question with one of my own.

"The fee is 1,000 Eris per person," She says.

I nod and reach for the coin purse (because that's surely what it is) at my hip. I take two silver 1,000 Eris coins and hand them to the reception lady.

"Here you are Ms..?"

She smiles, "Luna," she says simply.

"Kazuma," I reply in kind, with a smile of my own, "and this is Aqua," Aqua waves from behind me.

"Alright then, Aqua-san and Kazuma-san, since you want to become adventurers, you should have some basic understanding, but I'll explain from the start…"

Perfect.

"First, adventurers are responsible for the extermination of the monsters wandering outside the town… They're people who'll get rid of dangerous creatures that might harm the citizens. They are also jack of all trades, taking on odd jobs that require their talents… People who earn a living this way are known collectively as adventurers. And among adventurers, there are different jobs."

Here we are. Jobs (or Classes), this is what I wanna know about.

Luna handed a card to both Aqua and myself, roughly the size of a driver's license that seemed to be some form of ID.

"Please look over here; do you see the word level? As both of you know, all living in the world have souls. No matter what form it takes, if you eat or kill a being, you can absorb a part of the memory of the soul. This is known as 'Experience Points'.

'Experience Points' are normally intangible things, but…" she pointed to one part of the card and continued, "With this card, the 'Experience Points' the adventurer had absorbed would be shown here. At the same time, the level corresponding to your 'Experience Points' would also be displayed. This show how strong an adventurer is, and how many enemy you defeat would be recorded here. With the accumulation of 'Experience Points', all creatures, adventurers and enemies alike, will grow stronger rapidly at some point. This is known as levelling up… Simply put, levelling up will grant you all sorts of perks, such as skill points to learn new skills. So please work hard to increase your level."

Right, Aqua did ask me if I liked games, didn't she? Guess this is what she meant.

"First of all, please fill in your height, weight, age and other details in the blanks."

I wrote in my information on the card I had just received.

165cm tall **(~5'5")**, weight is 55kg. 16 years old, brown hair and eyes…

"Good, now please simply touch the card, and it will display the strength of each of your abilities. You can use these, as we call them, 'Stats' as a reference for which Jobs you can take. Once you have gotten some skill points, you can spend them on skills that are available for your chosen Job. This is one of the key points in choosing Jobs,"

Alrighty, let's see how I do.

I touch the card.

"… Alright, thank you…" she looks at my card, "Satou Kazuma-san. Strength, vitality, magic, agility and speed… All of them are quite nicely above average," Nice. "Intelligence is impressively high and … huh? Luck is extraordinarily high!" Oh fuck yeah, "but it's not a very important stat for adventurers,"

Huh? What kinda bullshit is that? Luck is the best! The ability to shift the odds constantly into your favour, to have the world work to help you, to make the entire universe your bitch! Luck is so damn good! How could she think otherwise?

"From your stats, you've got a nice amount of jobs to choose from. The Null Job; Adventurer, but I wouldn't recommend that to anyone, unless it was there only option. Then there are the four basic Jobs; Archer, Swordsman, Thief, and Mage,"

Simple enough so far. Range, Melee, Stealth and Magic.

"… Umm, there is also technically one intermediate Job to choose from," she paused, "the Ranger,"

I guess that's the next step from Archer, so why did she say 'technically'?

"What does it entail?" I ask.

"Umm, well…" She was still hesitant. "The Ranger Job is actually the second tier of the Adventurer Job. You can learn a skill from any other class, so long as someone with the skill teaches you it, like the Adventurer Job, but unlike it, the skill comes with no extra point cost. But um, even though you can learn any skill, if you want to improve the skill, you'll have to spend significantly more points than the person with the right Job would. Oh, and you also don't get any of the natural bonuses that come with the Job,"

Ah, I see, "A jack of all trades, but master of none then," I say.

"Yes, that's quite a good way of describing it,"

"Will I be able to change my Job later on?" I ask.

"Yes, you can change it once per level," She answers

I'm definitely favouring Ranger. I want to learn magic, but Aqua doesn't have the offense capabilities to support a Mage, especially if we get caught in close-quarters. If we get some other party members to balance us out, I might change. But for now, "Please set my Job as 'Ranger'," I request of Luna.

She looks somewhat uneasy as she says, "Alright Kazuma-san, you're now a Ranger," and hands me back my card.

Guess she thinks the other Jobs would have been better, but really, I think the versatility will be very valuable. I can just pick up skills that favour my high Intelligence and Luck.

"Eh? Huh!?" Luna exclaims, "What is with these numbers? Besides the lower than average intelligence, and luck at pit bottom, the rest of your stats drastically exceed the average! Especially your magic, it is abnormally high, who in the world are you…?"

Oh? Seems Aqua's divinity came in handy.

"Ah, is that right? So it means I am amazing?" Aqua preened at the attention she had gathered, "I guess it is normal by my standard."

"This, this was way past amazing! Mage type jobs which requires high intelligence is not available…"

Yep, she's an idiot.

"But you can choose any other jobs! The holy knight with its strongest defence 'Crusader', the swordsman with the strongest attack 'Swordmaster', the top tier cleric 'Archpriest'… You can choose most of the top tier jobs right now…!"

"Well, it's a pity that 'goddess' isn't available as a job… It should be grand cleric for me."

And she still can't do subtle.

"Archpriest! Archpriest can use all kinds of recovery and support spells, they could even take the role of vanguards, a strong all-rounder job! I will register you now… It's done. Welcome to the Adventurers' Guild, Aqua-sama, all our staff look forward to your grand exploits!" Luna said with a smile.

Ha, she seems to have the wrong person in mind.

And so, my life as an adventurer began in this world.

* * *

"Huh? You already have a skill you can learn? How? Nobody has taught you anything since you got here!" Aqua exclaimed.

We were in our room at the town inn. After registering, we went looking for a place to sleep, and found here. Aqua also explained to me that, like I had hoped, Eris were roughly equivalent to Yen. We managed to get a good deal at the inn too, only 2,000 Eris **(~20 USD)** a night for the both of us.

"I told you I was in training before I died, remember? So now I have the 'Martial Artist' skill I can learn," I answered.

That's right, I knew martial arts. Specifically, Judo and Taekwondo. When I was young, I figured out that I wanted to learn how to fight, either to protect myself, or to beat someone to death if the desire arose. My parents were all too happy to fund it, as it meant me getting out from just playing games all day. I chose Judo and Taekwondo because I believe that those two fit my stature the best. I'm pretty thin, so I'm also quite light, so instead of brute-forcing, I'll abuse _their_ force and momentum. Plus it's funny as fuck when you put a guy 3 times your weight on his ass with little to no effort. I took up Taekwondo because Judo is mostly defensive, and legs are stronger than arms, so kicks hurt more. Pretty easy decision there, really.

"You know martial arts?" Aqua asked, surprised.

Didn't she already see my life when I had died?

"Yeah, learnt Judo and Taekwondo for 8 years. I like to think I'm pretty good," Oh I was. And you'd be surprised how easy it was to break people's bones. And how good the feeling of someone's ribcage giving way to your foot was.

And here I am commentating for an imaginary audience again. Maybe I am going insane?

Eh, whatever.

"So how do I learn the skill?" I ask Aqua. I had three points from the start, and the skill said it cost one.

"Hmm? Just press on the skill, and if you have the points for it, you'll learn it," Aqua explained.

That seemed like an easy way to accidentally spend points. Whatever. Skill: Learnt.

I… didn't really feel all that different. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

* * *

"Aqua! Some help please?!" I yelled at the stupid girl, who simply stood there, dumbfounded, as I was chased around by a giant toad.

"R-right!" She called, and began casting.

How useless is this Goddess?

She finished her chant, and I suddenly felt dramatically stronger.

Something I had noticed about these toads is that once they began preparing for a leap, they committed to it. Even if I suddenly turned, they would still hop to the same place. Then after they landed, they would take a second to collect themselves.

I turned to face it and continued running, but backwards. I started preparing its jump and I immediately stopped, and started sprinting towards and to the left of it.

The creature leapt. As the giant sailed through the air, with surprising grace I might add, I brought up the low quality sword I had purchased earlier that morning, aimed, and swung.

The swing landed, cutting through the soft flesh of the toad's front leg. I put all of my (now heightened) strength into the swing, and along with the toad's own momentum, the cheap sword carved through the bone without difficulty, exiting the other side, and completely severing the limb.

The monster landed, immediately falling onto its front, with the now missing support of its front right leg. It croaked in pain, and panicked, extending its back legs to leap, but only ended up pushing itself forward.

I hadn't expected the sudden push, and it knocked me backwards and off my feet. I rolled with my momentum and sprung back to feet. I rushed at its exposed back legs, swinging my sword once more at the thing's knee. The blade cut deep, severing blood vessels, muscle and tendons, but I couldn't make it through the bone. The blade stopped suddenly, jarringly, but I didn't let it stop me. I tugged the sword free.

I leapt onto the now disabled toad's back while it croaked in pain, reversed my grip and plunged the sword hilt-deep into its back. It squealed again, spasming, but it still lived. I pulled the sword free and pushed it back in.

I did this twice more before it finally stopped moving, and died.

My strength fell away and I was left feeling fatigued.

I could feel the grin splitting my face. Blood covered my sword, hands and had splattered against my shirt and face.

Damn, that was fun.

The pleasure of killing, of _complete_ and utter control and destruction, isn't one I get to enjoy often. But damn, is it good. Working for it definitely made it better too. The whole fight was great. Carving it to pieces until it could do nothing to resist, then continuing further, ripping away its life, it's blood coating me as it squealed in pain. It was incredible.

I _have _to see what it's like with a person.

I _need _to feel a person's life slip away, my weapon planted inside them. Watch them as they die. Watch their eyes dim, their breathing slow, and heart stop.

That would be awesome.

…

But another time. I've got more toads to hunt.

I turned to Aqua so we could find another toad to kill.

Well, looks like I've found both.

A new toad sat there, this one strangely pink in colouration, head back, boot covered leg sticking free from its mouth.

Did she seriously manage to get herself eaten already?

How useless is this Goddess?

I pulled my sword free from the dead toad, jumped down, and began sprinting at the new, pink toad, plan forming.

It was ignoring me, instead focussing on its meal. Good.

I ran straight up to it, jumped, and then pushed up from its foreleg. I drew back my arm, and trust my sword straight through its eye.

The toad immediately stilled, and as I fell, it fell with me, collapsing with a thud. I had killed it in one shot.

Nice. Though I shouldn't have been able to pull that shit off. Martial Arts skill maybe? Luck? Both? Whatever.

I retrieved my sword and freed Aqua from its mouth.

* * *

"Ugh…" She sobbed, "…Thank- thank you… Kazuma, thank you…! Wahhhhhhhhh….!"

She'd been crying for a few minutes now, covered in slime from the toad's interior. Not something I was interested in experiencing.

"Are, uh, you okay Aqua?" I started, trying to be consoling. I wasn't doing very well; I've never had to comfort someone who had been swallowed before.

"Be strong… Let's go back for today. The mission we took on was exterminating 5 toads in 3 days, but they are not opponents we could handle,"

It was true; I'd only managed to take them out because of Aqua. Her buff for the first one, and because the second was distracted eating her.

I could probably handle one of them solo, but if anymore showed up, I'd be fucked.

"Let's try again when we have better equipment. Look, I only have a short sword and no armour; I'm still wearing my gym clothes. Let's come back when we are dressed more like adventurers,"

Aqua stood up with the glossy fluid all over her body.

Okay, damn. That was a good look.

"Ugh… For a goddess like me to be humiliated by a toad, how could we retreat! I am already defiled. If a believer saw how dirty I am, their faith would definitely plummet! If people knew I ran from toads, it would be a disgrace to the name of the beautiful goddess Aqua!"

But before I could stopped her, Aqua charged towards another toad in the distance.

"Oi! Hey, hold up, Aqua!"

Aqua ignored my restraint, drawing closer to the toad using her moment to throw a punch at the belly of the toad.

"Feel the wrath of a goddess! You dare to oppose a goddess? Repent in hell! God Blow!"

They told us at the Guild that blunt force attacks were basically useless. Has the dumb bitch already forgotten?

Her fist sunk into the soft abdomen, while the toad sat there, unaffected.

Aqua looked at the toad meekly in the eye and said softly, "… Look- looking closely, toads are actually quite cute, right?"

I sighed and stood as Aqua was swallowed for the second time in 5 minutes.

* * *

"I get it. Just us two isn't enough. Let's recruit more members!"

After returning to town, the first thing we did was head to the bath house to wash up. We then ate fried toad meat in the Adventurers' Guild and discuss our plans.

The toad meat was surprisingly good, similar to chicken but tougher.

Apart from being a meeting place for adventurers, the Adventurers' Guild also doubled as a bar. It allowed adventurer to sell the monster they hunted as well. The well-cooked monsters were also a selling point.

The toads were too large for us to carry, but fortunately, the Guild offered a transportation service for slain monsters.

After deducting the fee of the transport, each toad yields about 5,000 Eris, so we ended up earning 15,000 Eris, which isn't too bad for just one day. That's not even taking into account the reward for completing the quest. After killing 5 of them, it yields us an additional 100,000 Eris. If we can get a good strategy down, we can probably complete this quest daily, and we'd end up with a daily income of 62,500 Eris. That's damn good if you ask me.

At the moment though? That's too risky.

If just 1 extra toad shows up when we're in a poor spot, we'll be killed.

So we need to get stronger, or as Aqua suggested, get more members for our party.

"But… Even if we want to recruit comrades, do you think anyone would want to team up with novices like us who don't even have proper equipment?" I asked.

With a mouthful of toad meat, Aqua waved the fork in her hand.

"Wiff mi hare, yuu juice node…"

"Swallow. Swallow before you speak."

After Aqua swallowed, she said "With me here, I just need to holler and people will line up to join us. I am a high cleric after all, the top tier job! I can use all sorts of healing spells, support magic, relieve poison and paralysis status. I can even perform resurrection,"

She could? Good to know.

"-definitely a talent any team would want. I might have fallen into the mortal world and my power is far from my peak, but I am still a goddess…"

Which would explain why her holy aura has diminished.

"Oi, what did I tell you about you divinity?"

She chuckled, embarrassed before she continued, "Ahem! I am Aqua-sama after all! I just need to put up a notice and a bunch of people begging me to 'bring me along to missions' will show up! If you understand, then give me another piece of fried toad meat!"

After finishing, the self-proclaimed goddess grabbed a piece of fried toad meat from my plate as I watched on, somewhat concerned.

"And why don't you want me telling people that I'm a goddess?"

Oh right, I forgot to explain.

"Well, if people realise that you're a goddess, then word will spread. It'll eventually make it to the Demon King. He'll find us and kill us before we ever have a chance to oppose him.

"Oh," she said, face paling, before continuing her meal, this time slower, a thoughtful expression on her face.

* * *

"… No one is coming…"

Aqua mumbled to herself dejectedly.

After displaying a recruitment notice, we sat at a table inside the Adventurers' Guild and waited for people to show up. It had been half a day.

The other adventurers definitely saw our notice.

Besides us, a number of adventurers were recruiting members. They had conducted interviews, talked with them and went off.

I knew very well why no one was coming.

"… I told you the requirement was too high. Our goal is to defeat the Demon King, so such conditions were necessary… but 'only recruiting top tier Jobs' is a bit too extreme."

"Ugh… But…"

In this world, the adventurers Jobs were divided into tiers, with some being top tier.

Aqua's high cleric was one of the top tier Jobs.

It was difficult for normal people to pick this Job; she could very well be a hero candidate.

And it was normal for such hero candidates to enjoy a privileged life in other teams…

Aqua probably wanted to recruit powerful companions in order to take down the Demon King.

But, "If this goes on, no one would apply! You might have a top tier job, but mine isn't as highly regarded. We should think about lowering the entry requirements…"

As I was preparing to stand up,

"I saw the notice to recruit adventurers with top tier Jobs, is that you guys?"

Bright crimson eyes looked at us with a sleepy expression

A girl, 12 or 13 years old, bit too young for my tastes. Unfortunate too, she was cute.

Smooth black hair reached past her slim shoulders, highlighting her white, porcelain skin. She wore a large witch's hat, a dark purple-brown in colour, the brim lined with a yellow trim. The hat had a band of red-outlined yellow triangles, alternating in orientation (as in, up, down, up, down, ect.), and was tipped with a yellow feathery flair. A cape the same colour as her hat, trimmed with the same yellow, sat on her shoulders, half covering the brighter-red dress that, like the cape and hat, was trimmed in yellow. It ran down past her hips with sleeves extending to her wrists, covering her petite frame. For accessories, she wore a black leather collar with a silver buckle around her neck, a belt just the same, but larger, around her waist and black fingerless gloves. Orange boots came halfway up her calves, with a black sock on her right leg lifting up to the top of thigh, while her left leg was wrapped in pure white bandages up to the middle of her thigh.

She flung her cape hard and said, "I am Megumin! An arch wizard with the strongest attack spell, Explosion…!"

And she was also wearing a fucking _eyepatch_.

"… Are you fucking with us?" I said, voice darkening

This little chuuni loli bitch was gonna regret talking to us if she didn't give a good explanation real damn soon.

"I-I'm n-not!" the girl cried, taking a step back.

What kind of shitty fake name was 'Megumin'?

"That red eye… Are you Crimson Demon race?"

The girl nodded frantically in response to Aqua's query and presented her adventurer card to Aqua.

"That's correct! I am an elite mage from the Crimson Demon clan, Megumin! My magic is powerful enough to split the mountains…! So, uh, do you need an excellent mage?"

Her stomach growled, and none too quietly, "… By the way, I have a favour to ask. I haven't eaten in 3 days; could you give me something to eat before the interview…?"

"Kazuma," Aqua said to me quietly, "She looks like a member of the Crimson Demon clan. They're known to have very high magical capabilities, and they're normally identified by their red eyes… and strange names,"

I sighed. Seems I was mistaken, and if she can, in fact, use the strongest attack spell, having her in the party would be infinitely valuable.

"Look… Megumin, I'm sorry for my reaction. We've been out here all day and haven't had any success, so when a young girl who claimed to have the most powerful magic, I thought you were mocking us. Even then, I over-reacted. Sit down, you can order what you like, we'll cover the cost.

Her eye widened, "Th-thank you very much!" she stuttered out as she sat opposite us.

"If you don't mind me asking," I began, "what's with the eyepatch? If you're injured, she" I pointed at Aqua, "can heal you, 'cos she's an Archpriest,"

"Hmmph…"

I could already _feel_ the smugness rolling off her.

"This is a tool to restrain my overwhelming power… If you pull it off… A gigantic disaster will befall the world…" she claimed.

"Oh… So it is something like a seal," Aqua responded.

"I'm sorry! That was a lie! Please don't pull my eyepatch!"

Her tune changed real quick when I called her bluff.

"Kazuma, remember, strange names," Aqua reminded me.

With a deadpan expression, I released the eyepatch, and it flicked back onto her face.

At this, Megumin pouted, "It's rude to say our names are weird. I think the names of the people in town are the weird ones."

"… Right, may I ask for your parent's name?"

"My mother is Yuiyui, my father is Hyoizaburo."

Aqua and I remained silent, with Aqua now sporting a deadpan look similar to my own.

"… Anyway, you said the Crimson Demons produce powerful mages right? Could we recruit her as a companion?" I posed this question to Aqua.

I had no problem with her, if she could deliver, but Aqua knew more about this world and it's people than I do, so until I can fact-check this, I'd have to follow her advice.

"Hey, if you have any problem with the names of my parents, say it to my face,"

We continued to ignore her.

Megumin leans forward, and Aqua returned the adventurer's card to her at this moment.

"It should be fine right? The adventurer's card is real, her job is really top tier with the ability to use powerful spells– Arch wizard. The magic stat on the card is very high, so she has a lot of potential. If she really can use explosion magic, that would be amazing! The Explosion spell is the top grade spell in the detonation series magic and is very hard to learn."

"Hey, stop addressing me as she, use my name!"

As Megumin protest, I handed the food menu to her.

"Don't mind the details, order something to eat. I'm Kazuma. This is Aqua. Please to meet you, Arch wizard."

Megumin seemed like she had something to say, but just took the menu quietly in the end.

* * *

"Explosion is the strongest spell. On the other hand, it requires a long casting time. Before I am ready, please keep that toad at bay," Megumin said, as she brought her staff to bear.

A simple staff, just a stick, but at its end floated a spherical red crystal.

Fair enough, that was something we could do.

I noticed a toad some distance away on the plain.

The toad noticed us, and began charging our way.

There was another toad, further away, approaching us from the opposite direction.

"Alright Megumin, you target that toad over there," I said, gesturing to the far toad, "We'll handle the other one. C'mon Aqua, let's show the toads what we're made of, and get some revenge while we're at it,"

"Hmph," She began, tone smug, "These toads will regret angering me! They've earnt a Goddess' wrath!"

"Goddess?" Megumin questioned.

Dammit Aqua.

"No," I answered, "Just a delusional woman. She says stuff like that sometimes. Best to just ignore it,"

With my claim, Megumin looked to Aqua, eyes sympathetic.

Aqua, who was now on the verge of tears, whoops, gathered herself, and charged a toad.

"Watch this Kazuma!" She yelled, "I'll show you the true power of a goddess!"

Aqua, who lacked the capacity to learn, successfully infiltrated the stomach of the toad.

As expected of a goddess, sacrificing herself to buy time for us.

By now, Megumin's chanting seemed to have reached its apex. I could feel the air tremble around me.

"Watch closely Kazuma," She called, "This is the strongest possible attack of humans… The ultimate attack magic."

The tip of Megumin's staff started to glow.

The scale might be small, but it seemed to accumulate vast amount of light as it shone brightly.

Megumin's red eye was wide open with a brilliant light.

"'Explosion'!"

And explode it did.

A bright flash and deafening boom appeared where the toad once stood. The sky above the target area filled with fire and smoke, hot enough to feel from where I stood; a good 60 metres away. The detonation left a crater 20 metres in diameter.

Okay, I needed her in my party.

A new toad suddenly began pulling itself out from under the earth, likely woken by the powerful spell.

Huh, I was wondering how they survived out here. The sun was hot enough that they would dehydrate quickly, and there weren't any nearby water sources either.

The toad was nearer to Megumin than it was to me, but fortunately, its movements were sluggish, hopefully having been stunned by the shockwave.

We had a chance here to get some distance, and then Megumin could use her 'Explosion' again.

"Megumin! Let's retreat, then you can blow up this toad!" I called to her, looking over.

Why was she lying on her face?

"'Explosion' is my most powerful spell, but it uses up more mana than I have, so I'm left unable to move after I use it," She explained sheepishly, "Oh. It seems another toad has appeared. Please save me!"

Palm; meet face.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," I exclaimed as Megumin was introduced to the toad's interior.

* * *

"Ughhh… It smells like fish…" Aqua shined, following behind me sluggishly, again covered in goo from the toad.

"It is smelly inside the toad, but the warm feeling isn't too bad… I gained some knowledge that I would rather not know…" Megumin, also covered in goo, said from my back.

It was information I _also_ did not want to know, so thanks for that. At least the quest was completed.

And yeah, I also had to carry her. Because she exceeded her mana capacity, the spell began drawing from her life-force. Thankfully not to a fatal degree, but she was now incapable of even standing without aid.

"From now on," I began, "explosion magic is banned unless there is an emergency. Please work hard by using other spells, Megumin."

"… I can't."

"Huh? What do you mean, you can't?"

"I can only use explosion spell. I don't know any other magic."

"Are you serious?"

"… Yes."

Oh my fucking god.

"What do you mean by knowing only explosion magic? If you had enough skill points to learn explosion, you must had learned other spells right?" Aqua asked.

That's a good point.

"Depending on the person and the job, there are restrictions to the skills they may learn. For example, someone with a fear of water would need more points to learn water or ice elemental spells… But detonation series magic are composite spells, you would need deep knowledge of fire and wind magic to master it. This means that people who can learn detonation magic should be able to easily learn other spells."

Oh? So why are you stuck with only 'Explosion' little Megumin?

"… I am an arch wizard that loves explosion spell. What I like is not detonation series magic, but explosion spell."

She's wilfully ignoring other spells. This fucking girl.

"Adventures would definitely be easier if I learn other spells. Fire, water, earth, wind and light, learning spells related to this should be good enough… But I couldn't do it. My only love is explosion magic. Even though I could only cast it once per day, even if I will collapse after using the spell, my one true love is still explosion magic! The only reason I chose the path of the arch mage was to cast explosion spells"

Why do people like you exist?

"I see. Well the town is up ahead, so let's split the reward, then be on our way. We'll meet again should our paths cross. Good luck with your endeavours," I say.

She fucking needs it.

"Hmph…" Megumin started, "My only wish is to use explosion magic. The bounty is just a complementary bonus. How about this-"

"No."

Megumin spluttered, "Please! I don't need to split the rewards evenly, if you are willing to foot the bill for food, bath and miscellaneous items, I can consider not taking any rewards. That's right, my power as an arch wizard is available at the price of meals and other miscellaneous fees! How could you miss this opportunity to form a long term contract?"

"You can't even use your spell indoors, or in dungeons."

"Please don't ditch me! No team is willing to take me in! I am willing to carry the luggage or anything when exploring dungeons! Please, don't throw me away!" She pleaded.

A little girl, covered in slime, sat on my back crying 'Please don't throw me away'. Attention was gathering on us.

"– No way… That man wants to abandon that child…"

"– He has a girl covered in slime with him. What kind of weird sexual games were they playing?"

Megumin seemed to have heard the whispers.

I looked at Megumin who was peeking over my shoulder, a malicious smile on her face.

Nice try loli, but you won't beat me in a game of words.

"Try that, and I'll leave you with the toads."

Her jaw shut with an audible click.

"Look, Megumin, we'll discuss whether you stay in the party tomorrow, for now, we'll split the rewards and get cleaned up, alright?"

"Alright," she mumbled back dejectedly.

* * *

"Alright, everything is in order. I have confirmed that your team had finished the mission to defeat 5 giant toads in 3 days. Good work."

After reporting in at the guild's counter, I received the promised reward.

As for Aqua and Megumin who were covered in slime, they were quite disgusting, so I shooed them off to the bath house.

One of the toads we defeated disintegrated because of the explosion magic, so I was afraid it might affect the completion of the mission. But the type and number of monsters defeated were recorded on the adventurer card, so there were no problems.

I handed in my and Megumin's card to the counter lady, which she put in a strange box like machine. The confirmation was done just like that. The 'technology' of this world was created through magic rather than science, so I had no idea how advanced this stuff was.

I looked at my card again and saw that I am at level 5.

I heard that those toads were great for novice adventurers to grind levels.

I defeated 5 toads by myself, enough to raise my level to 5. It was easier for low level people to level up.

All the stats on the card increased slightly, but I don't feel myself turning any stronger.

But, it confirms that I can get stronger just by killing monsters.

Luna did mention that when she explained in the beginning.

'All living things in the world have souls. No matter what form it takes, if you eat or kill a being, you can absorb a part of the memory of the soul,' she had said.

This totally feels like an RPG.

Looking closely, my skill points had increased. I had 2 before, but now it showed the number 10.

Just by spending these points, I could learn more skills. I'll have to spend some time figuring out which will be the most valuable.

"Well then, turning in 2 giant toads and the bounty for completing the mission is a total of 110,000 Eris. Please take this."

Nice, there's the extra 100,000. We could probably get some better equipment now.

But for the risk? Not sure if it's worth it.

If another toad showed up and ate me, the three of us would have been wiped out.

If Megumin doesn't learn another skill, she can't stay with us.

I took a look at the other missions; the ones currently on the bulletin board were;

— Cut down the Egil trees corrupting the forest, bounty are dependent on the amount turned in

— Help me look for my pet white wolf

— My son's swordsmanship lesson *Requirement: Rune Knight or Sword master.

— Recruiting subject for magic practice *Requirement: High HP or strong magic resistance…

Nothing we were suited for.

"…Excuse me," a voice interrupted my thinking.

"Yes?" I said turning to face the voice.

It was a beautiful female knight.

Long, golden hair fell behind her, framing her beautiful face, blue eyes looking down at me without expression.

She wore steel armour plates on her shoulders and hips, as well and steel boots and a white metal chest plate covering large breasts.

I couldn't make out if she had any other armour, as her body was covered with black clothing, sitting below white highlighted yellow cloth.

She was a little taller than I was, maybe 170cm, and maybe a year or two older.

"How can I help you?" I asked.

"Erm… The team that put up this recruitment notice was you right? Are you still looking for people?" She asked, somewhat shyly.

This was good. We really needed someone who could actually fight.

"Yes, that was us," I answered

"Please pick me! Please let me join your party!" She exclaimed suddenly as she grabbed my hand.

"Uhh, I'll have to wait until my companion gets back. She's just bathing, because she got covered in slime from a toad," I explain to the knight.

"I was right; those two covered in goo were your comrades! What happened, how did they end up like that? I… I also…! Want to experience that…!"

Whut?

"No, I phrased it wrongly. For the two young girls to experience that at such a tender age, I can't watch idly as a knight. My job is the top tier cross knight. It should fit your recruitment criteria," she tried to clarify.

I don't like her. She's a weird one. Let's see how she handles the prospect of rejection.

"Well, I'm not really sure… We just got a new party member, so I'm not sure we need another. And besides, we're not good. One of us is useless, and the other can only cast once a day,"

"That is perfect! To be honest, I am confident in my strength and durability, I am not too agile with my hands… So… I can't hit the enemy…"

There it is. Another problem person.

"So you don't need to mind me having a top tier job. I will just charge ahead without a care, so just abuse me like a shield."

And she's one of _those_.

God, isn't my luck meant to be good?

* * *

**There! Boom! Done!**

**Sorry, it's out a bit later than I hoped.**

**I'm gonna keep aiming to have chapters this length or more from now on. Like, between 6 and 8 thousand words, so chapters might take a bit to write.**

**I'm also trying to work out a writing schedule, so that chapters will be uploaded consistently, and that might take a bit to figure out.**

**So! A reviewer came up with some good criticisms that I wanted to address (Thanks to nekoboy13 for it).**

**First: Going from the start. Yeah, I get that we've all seen it done time and time again, many different ways, and you get sick of it, so why not skip it?**

**Well, the idea of this story isn't to change the plot significantly, but to change dialogue and interactions, which I wanted to express right from the outset. That's why I felt it necessary to go right from the beginning. Plus, it's not like I can just pick a time in canon and suddenly make Kazuma a sociopath.**

**And the second: Kazuma didn't really do anything 'sociopathic' in the first chapter. The whole story is about that, so shouldn't it be obvious?**

**That's true, he didn't really do much out of the ordinary, but that was my aim. He's just died and has been sent to a new world. He isn't familiar with his surroundings, and because of that, he's playing thing carefully. Plus, sociopaths don't really do much that makes you go 'oh, he's a sociopath'. They're quite subtle in how they operate. Kazuma is going to go in-depth about his sociopathy in the next chapter, and explain sociopaths as a whole in the next chapter, so look forward to that!**

**I appreciate the feedback nekoboy13! I hope this gives you a bit of insight in this chapter as to what my plan is. (I also made him a bit more violent this chapter, just for you!)**

**Again; all feedback and questions are welcome, and I do my best to answer them as soon as I can, so feel free to ask what you like!**

**Til next time, have fun!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**P.S. Weird thing I found, FanFicNet increased the word count of the whole chapter by a little over 150 words. Not sure where those are from lol**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 7,253**

**Story: 10,754**


	3. Chapter 3

Sociopathy.

A psychological illness that shares a great deal with psychopathy.

Key symptoms include; Superficial charm or intelligence, persistence lying and deceit to exploit others, using charm or wit to manipulate others, impulsivity, an altered perception of emotions, extreme egocentricity and arrogance.

And the kicker, a complete lack of guilt, remorse, or shame.

Psychopaths are generally referred to as the more extreme version of sociopaths, though there are differences, like an almost inability to make emotional attachments of any kind. Sociopaths are often more expressive and aggressive, while psychopaths are calmer, subtler, able to do horrifying things without their expression shifting in the slightest.

I sat somewhere in between them.

The reason I called myself a sociopath was that I was once called that when I was young, which is how I found out about it, so I've gone by that since then (though I was probably closer to a psychopath).

These kinds of people are dangerous. They'll be your best friend in moments, get what they want, and be gone just as quickly. They'll do anything if it means a benefit for them. They will lie, cheat, manipulate, steal and harm (and much more!) to get what they want, often without hesitation or fear. They knew of right and wrong, they just don't care.

They are flawed however.

They have great difficulty in considering the consequences of their actions, and with their poor impulse control and willingness to break the law; they often find themselves with criminal records. They possess a level of egocentricity where they believe themselves highly superior, and as such, have difficulty learning from their mistakes.

Now about me.

Superficial charm and intelligence that I could flip on and off like a switch? Check.

Lying, manipulating and differing emotions? All check.

Guilt? What's that?

Arrogance and impulsivity though? Not likely.

This is where I differ. I viewed thing with an objectivity that judges _dream_ of.

Egocentric? Sure. But I wasn't arrogant. And while I certainly did as I pleased, I made rational and informed decisions.

I knew of empathy too… to a degree. I could understand the pain someone may be going through, but I didn't get any compulsion to help, unless of course, doing so would benefit me.

While I wasn't the best at planning ahead, I could certainly do it. I could also learn from my mistakes. In fact, it's what I strive to do. A mistake should only ever be made once, in my eyes. That's why I chose to learn martial arts.

I was small, and couldn't defend myself in any meaningful way, so I found someone who could, and learnt everything I could from them.

Contrary to what you may believe however, is that a psychopath isn't necessarily a killer. Though most serial killers are psychopaths, that doesn't mean we all are. We aren't born with like, inbuilt sadism, that's a kind of, per person thing. It's not decided because you're a psychopath.

All psycho/sociopaths _could_ kill, don't get me wrong, and do so without any form of emotional or moral difficulty, but we don't necessarily want to, or take joy from it. Most of us are smart enough to realise that murder is basically an express ticket straight to jail, and you can't have much fun in jail, so it's generally not worth while trying to kill someone. Plus, they might fight back, which would be painful.

At least, that's how it works on Earth. Here though?

Well. Things are different here.

* * *

"Look Megumin, bottom line is, unless you learn some other skills, we can't keep you in our party,"

It was unfortunate, because the 'explosion' spell could be very valuable, and her immobile body would make for good bait, but she doesn't have any consistent forms of damage output.

I want her in the party, she just needs another, more versatile spell.

"I understand," Megumin said dejectedly as she stood up.

Was she seriously that unwilling to learn a new spell?

Guess she'll need some coaxing.

"Hey, wait! Megumin, I really want you in the party, but you need a more valid form of attack spell. I can see you're unwilling, so how about this; if you learn another spell, I'll look for a method that'll allow you to cast 'explosion' _twice_ a day. Plus, if you have another spell you can use lots, you'll also be able to level up faster, so you'll have more points to dump into 'explosion',"

She bit her lip, looking thoughtful.

She was close.

"_And_, eventually _I'll_ learn 'explosion' too,"

That was it.

Her eyes widened. "Really?!" she exclaimed, excitement palpable, as she stood and leaned across the table to look me in the eyes, "You'll walk the Path of Explosions with me, Kazuma-san?"

"Yep. But only once you learn a new skill," I answered, smiling

"I'll do it!" she cried, immediately pulling out her adventurer Card. She played around with it for half a minute before stood once more, showing me the card excitedly, smile splitting her face in two.

"I've done it! Look Kazuma-san, see?"

"I see it," I said, smiling with her. She had taken the spell 'Detonate', "Welcome to the party Megumin. Take care of me and Aqua with your _spells,_ yeah?"

"I will!"

* * *

"I need to learn some more skills," I said.

Aqua had joined Megumin and I for a late lunch at the Guild.

"How about-"

"No Megumin. I'm not learning 'explosion' right away,"

I had looked at my card. Explosion was available, but it was a whopping 35 points. I wasn't gonna have the points to take it for some time.

Megumin pouted as Aqua joined the conversation.

"What kind of skills do you want?"

I had thought about this quite a lot.

Now that we had Megumin on attack, I didn't have to worry as much about my own damage. So considering my relatively low health and agility, the most valuable skills to have would be "Stealth or range based skills,"

"Well you're in luck," A new voice said, "'cos stealth is my specialty!"

The voice came from a girl sitting at a close by table.

She was young, about my age, and had a petite figure. Silver hair framed a stunningly beautiful face, deep violet eyes looking out from nigh flawless cream skin, the only flaw being a small diagonal scar running from her right cheek to her jaw that only enhanced her beauty.

The girl wore a deep blue sports bra styled top, strap only appearing on her left shoulder. A green sash wrapped around small shoulders, and a light blue scarf trailed behind her. The smooth, creamy skin of her midriff was exposed down to her waist, where the view was cut off by low-set denim short-shorts, held up with a simple leather belt. Brown leather boots covered her legs up until her calves, where her white socks took over, up until mid-thigh, where they too stopped, showing off another few centimetres of skin until skin-tight opaque fabric that disappeared under her shorts. Finally, black gloves covered her small hands and half her forearms, though skin remained hidden behind deep blue sleeves, likely apart of her top, though oddly separate, and a dagger behind her, connected to her right thigh.

Another girl sat with her.

Ah, it was the weirdo from yesterday.

"You're the party that Darkness wanted to join, yeah?" the new girl said with a bright smile, "Ah, where are my manners. Chris, the thief, at your service, and this is Darkness" she said with a cute little bow.

"Kazuma, and this is Aqua and Megumin," I responded, gesturing at the girls.

A thought was starting to sprout, but it sat out of reach, so it remained ignored, but not forgotten. I had learnt to trust my intuition long ago, and I wasn't going to stop now.

"Thief skills are pretty cheap, points wise, so they'll be good for a Ranger like yourself to learn. I'll even teach you a few, if ya treat me to a crimson beer!" she said, finishing with a wink.

This Chris girl was giving me a weird feeling, but this was an offer too good to pass up.

"You've got yourself a deal," I told her before turning to a waitress, "Excuse me, a glass of ice cold crimson beer for my new friend here!"

* * *

"The thief class, as you may be aware, has lots of stealth based skills. The first ones I'll teach you will be Sneak Attack," Oh yes please, "Hide, Detect Enemy, and Steal!"

All very valuable, but Sneak Attack would be invaluable.

"Darkness, could you please turn and face the other way?"

"Hmm? Okay,"

The girl turned about face as Chris began walking towards, and then jumping into, a wooden barrel a short distance away from her.

"Watch closely," she said to me quietly before facing Darkness, a rock in hand.

She hurled the rock and immediately ducked down into the barrel. Hide, I suppose. The rock struck Darkness in the head, and she whipped around, immediately stalking towards the barrel Chris was hidden inside of.

"Sensing enemy… sensing enemy… I can strongly feel that Darkness is angry! Huh, Darkness? You should know I only did that to teach him the skills, I couldn't help it! Please have mercy–ahhhhhh, stop ahhhhhhhh!"

The barrel she was hidden in was toppled over and Chris screamed as it rolled on the ground.

My, how professional.

"Okay!" Chris said, voice once again bright after recovering from her rolling in the barrel, "Now let's try the skill I recommend the most; Steal! With this skill, you can snatch away one item in the possession of the target, be it a weapon held tightly in hand, or a wallet buried deep in clothing. Both the probability of success and the quality of the item taken are dependent on your luck stat. It's a great skill to have on hand in lots of circumstances!"

And even greater for me, considering how high my luck is.

"I'll demonstrate the skill with you as the target. Ready? 'Steal'!" she exclaimed, hand outstretched.

She opened her hand, revealing that my wallet had left me.

I see. Cool skill.

"Oh! Jackpot!" she exclaimed, looking pleased with herself. "Of course, I'll return…" she stopped and smiled deviously.

"…How about this; let's have a match. You learn 'Steal' now, and I'll let you take one item to keep, and I won't complain, no matter what it is,"

An interesting proposition.

She continued her explanation.

"Your grand prize would be my wallet, I've got quite a bit in there at the moment, but the jackpot would be my dagger," she gestured at the weapon, "It's worth a good 400,000 Eris by itself, so how 'bout it? You game?"

I thought about it, and pulled out my adventuring card, looking at the skills I had learnt. I saw the four skills she had taught me there. They were cheap, only 2 points for the four of them, so I learnt them immediately. After that, I expanded the 'Steal' skill to see what upgrades I could get. There were two; 'Increase chance of success', and 'Increase chance of higher quality reward'. I took the second, leaving me with 6 remaining points.

"I'm game," I answered her, "You ready?"

"Yep! Just so you know, your consolidation prize will be these rocks!"

She held out her hands, where six small stones sat, three in each palm.

Clever. Good thing I improved the skill then. Plus, not like I had all my money in there, most of it was at the inn.

I smiled, "Aren't you a smart one?" then held out my hand, "'Steal'!"

I felt something soft in my outstretched hand.

I brought it back towards my face and unravelled my hand.

I started laughing uncontrollably.

"What is it?" Chris asked, confusion in her voice, "What did you get?"

I showed her. Between my hands was a small amount of soft, elastic, white fabric.

Her violet eyes went wide, and her face red, as she screamed "Give me back my panties!"

* * *

After learning the skills, I returned to the bar and found it to be lively.

"Aqua-sama, one more time! I am willing to pay for it, could you perform 'Nature's Beauty' once more?"

"Fool, Aqua-san prefers food instead of money! Right, Aqua-san! I will treat you to a meal, so please do 'Nature's Beauty' again!"

For some reason, there was a crowd around Aqua that looked troubled.

"Talent shows are not things that could be performed several times on request! A great man once said a funny joke could only be told once. Doing the same tricks several times because it is popular means you are a 3rd rate performer! I am not a performer, so I won't accept money for my performance! This should be the basic attitude of talent show artisan. And I didn't perform 'Nature's Beauty' for you to see– ah! Kazuma! You're finally back! And what's wrong with Chris-san?"

Before I could speak, Chris spoke in my steed.

"Kazuma stole my panties and then I lost all of my money!" she said tearily.

Oh? Is that the game we're playing? You're gonna regret trying that on me Chris-chan.

"Oi!" I exclaimed, looking to her, "That's what you _wanted_ me to do, remember? It's not _my_ fault you couldn't handle me, Chris-_chan_," I said, smirk rising.

With that, the negative attention that had been building vanished, instead shifting to Chris, who was stammering, and quickly going red.

I win.

Chris said she would pay 'anything' to get her panties back, so now I had her wallet, and my wallet back.

'I win' times two.

Chris managed to regain some of her composure as she said, "Alright Darkness, I'm sorry, but as I'm now out of money," she said, before turning and shooting a playful glare at me. "I've decided to join a profitable dungeon exploration party!"

I was examining my spoils when she continued, saying "I'll be back after I earn some cash, so have fun in the meantime! I'm gonna go find what quests are available,"

And with something as simple as a coin, it clicked.

Her name, the weird feeling, and the coin. The thought from earlier had finally revealed itself.

I stood as Chris did. "Well, if you're leaving so soon, let me treat you to another drink," I said with a smile.

"Sounds good!" she replied, smile bright, and we approached the bar together, where I ordered her another Crimson beer.

Once her drink arrived, she sat and enjoyed her drink quietly.

"You know, I guess I was in luck," She looked at me inquisitively as I recalled what she had said earlier.

"Thanks for that, I guess, _Eris_-sama," I said, shooting her a wink.

The way her jaw dropped was delightful, and I enjoyed her shock as I turned and walked away.

* * *

I learned that this world worshiped may gods, however the two most powerful were the Axis Cult, who worshiped the goddess of water; Aqua (yes _her_), and the other is the _Eris_ Order, who worship the goddess of luck; Eris.

I came to the conclusion that Chris was, in fact, Eris.

How? Three things; her name, a feeling, and a coin.

The most important was the feeling. It wasn't like, a gut feeling, like I had first assumed, but a physical sensation. The feeling was her 'Holy Aura', though it was substantially less apparent than Aqua's, likely because she was better at hiding it. The second part was her name. 'Chris' was a western name, but there was no 'western' in this world, it was, instead, a minor modification to her real name, Eris. The third was a coin. The currency of this world is the 'Eris', and when I looked at a coin? Well, wasn't that face awfully similar to that of Chris'?

My short conversation with her was a simple check, and based off her reaction, she was certainly the goddess Eris.

Maybe I should thank her more for my high luck stat? She _is _the god of it, after all.

* * *

I sat back down to notice that Darkness had joined us at the table.

"Darkness?" I asked, "Aren't you going with Chris?"

"No," she answered, "People with the same vanguard class as me could be found anywhere while thieves are essential for dungeon exploration. There are many teams that want to recruit Chris."

I see, Aqua said that Arch Priests were rare and wanted by every party, so the treatment each job received are different.

A little while later, we saw Chris leaving the Guild, now a part of a small group of adventurers.

She waved at us. In return, I held up a finger over my lips, and winked at her once more.

It seems she understood that I would keep quiet about her divinity, as she nodded ever-so-slightly in return.

"It's already evening; Chris and her party are going to explore the dungeons now?"

"The best time to go dungeon diving is early in the morning. So most people would set off one day earlier like them, and make camp before the dungeon until morning. There are even merchants operating with these adventurers as their target market. So how was it? Did you learn any skills?"

Hearing Megumin say that, I smiled confidently.

"That I did! I've now got; 'Hide', 'Sneak Attack', 'Detect Enemy' and 'Steal'! Observe: 'Steal'!"

In my now outstretched hand lay lacy black fabric. I looked up to see a now red-face Megumin. Isn't this a little too mature for you, little Megumin?

"Huh? Isn't this supposed to be random?" I asked no-on in particular. Hmm, bet Eris had a hand in this. "Sorry 'bout that Megumin," I said as I handed her back her underwear.

"S'okay," she mumbled, embarrassment still clear. She then stood quickly and turned into the toilets, almost certainly to replace her pilfered panties. She returned just as quickly, retaking her seat.

There was a bang as Darkness slammed her hands into the table, her chair pushed away as she took her feet, her eyes sparkling, likely with some perverse, highly masochistic fantasy.

"I was right! To strip the panties of a young girl with so many people watching, you really are the worst…! Please…! Please let me join this party!"

"Not a chance."

Unfortunately, my curt and immediate negative seemed to have only added fuel to the fire. Her face grew red and her body trembled lightly as she let out a whimper.

Are you fucking serious? She's getting off to rejection? Just how fucked up is this woman?

"Hey, Kazuma, just who is this? Is she the one who came for an interview while me and Megumin were at the bath house?" Aqua asked.

"Hold on," Megumin chimed in, "She's a Crusader, right? There's no reason to reject her, right?"

"Huh?! Are you serious? Are you not seeing the problems I am?!" They weren't serious, right?

Alright then, let's try and show them the problem.

"Darkness, we might look this way now, but we are serious about taking down the Demon King."

Megumin, who had yet to hear this, looked surprised.

"That's right, listen to me too, Megumin. Aqua and I want to take down the Demon King no matter what. That's our goal as adventurers. And so, our adventures will become more dangerous. Especially Darkness, as a female knight, you'd be force to, well, I'm sure you can guess, if you get captured by the Demon King."

"That's right! Since ancient times, getting sexually harassed by the Demon King was the job of the female knights! That alone would be worth the trip!"

I looked at Aqua and Megumin, as if to say 'you see this shit?'

Right, I should warn Megumin too.

"You should know too, Megumin. Our final opponent is the Demon King. Not right now, obviously, but Aqua and I are planning to fight the strongest being in this world, so if you wanna leave the party-"

Megumin knocked her chair away and stood up.

She flicked her cloak hard and said, "I am Megumin! The top wizard of the Crimson Demon clan, the master of 'explosion' magic! For the demon king to call himself the strongest and ignore me! I will decimate him with my strongest spell!"

Got it, they're all stupid.

"Know what? Fuck it. Welcome to the party Darkness," I said, anger and disgust present. "I'm going out for the night, so see you tomorrow," I declared as I stood, my line mainly directed at Aqua.

I need to blow off some steam, and I knew just how to do it.

* * *

I asked around, and found that this was the most popular bar in town. I went into the reception, and purchased a room for the night, before heading to the bar area itself.

It was late evening, around 5, so it was relatively populated. People sat spread among tables chatting with one another. A bard sat to one side of the bar playing upbeat music on a loot with vocal accompaniment, with two couples dancing in front of him. The whole place held a positive atmosphere.

Of the five people sitting at the bar, one caught my attention.

A beautiful girl, a little older than me, sat alone, simply enjoying the music.

She wasn't an adventurer, I could tell. The civilian clothes were a dead giveaway. She wore a simple button down blue shirt and thin fabric pants over a slim and supple body, long orange hair flowing like a silk waterfall down her back.

The additional vulpine features only added to her appeal. Two tall, upright ears poked out from her smooth hair, and a bushy, but well maintained tail swayed in time with the music behind her.

It was a typical Fox-girl.

Yes, she would be perfect.

"Enjoying the music?" I said as I took the stool beside her.

She looked my way, and gave me a smile. "I am," she replied simply.

"Then how about a drink to go with it?" I asked, and before she could respond, I called to the bartender. "An ale for me please, and whatever the pretty lady would like too," I said, sending her a wink.

She looked a little surprised, her face becoming tinged with a little red, perhaps not used to such a forward approach, but then she smiled and responded "A crimson beer, thank you,"

"I'm Kazuma," I said, introducing myself, as I looked into her bright green eyes.

"Shiro," She responded in kind, "Pleased to meet you Kazuma-san, though I don't think I've seen you around before. What brings you here?"

"Fair," I said, tilting my head, "I only arrived a couple of days ago, so I'm still exploring the place. I asked around and was told this would be a good place to unwind,"

"Oh? Only been here a few days, but already needing to unwind? What hardships have you been forced into Kazuma-san?" She asked playfully, taking a drink from her newly placed glass.

Good, she was taking an interest quickly.

"Ohh, too many to count!" I fake-whined, to which she giggled, taking another drink. "I came here to be an adventurer, but my party members are all so crazy!"

"Is that so?" she said with a smile behind her glass.

"You wouldn't believe it!" I crowed, voice overly dramatic. "With how many times I've had to save them, you'd think they _want _to be killed!"

She giggled again, before giving me what must have been an (admittedly poor) attempt at subtly looking me up and down.

"See something you like?" I asked with a sultry smile on my face as her eyes returned to my own. Said emerald eyes widened, and her face began reddening.

I chuckled, before very obviously doing the same to her, "Because _I_ certainly do,"

She gasped, as her face attempted to camouflage itself as a tomato.

I laughed at her reaction, and said "Relax, I'm just teasing you,"

She finished off the remainder of her glass as she attempted to compose herself. She lightly swayed as she did so.

God, this girl is a lightweight. Well, it'll make things easier.

"So what's a beautiful woman such as yourself doing out at a bar by yourself?" I asked, "Shouldn't your boyfriend be with you?"

"Hmm?" She hummed with confusion, "I don't have a boyfriend,"

"Good," I hummed, "Then no-one can get mad at me when I do this,"

"Huh? Do wha-"

Her confused response was cut off as I leant forward, cupped her chin in my hand, and claimed her lips.

I had only been holding the kiss for a couple of seconds before I leant away. Her face tried to follow mine, but I was too quick, and broke off the kiss.

Her face had gone red once more, and a shuddering breath escaped her as she opened her eyes slowly.

"Do _that_," I answered, enjoying her expression.

"Oh,"

I turned to face the bar again.

"Bartender? Another crimson beer over here please," I said, giving her a moment to recover.

I turned back, though she still had the dazed expression. Her hand had been lifted and she was touching her lips.

Oh? Is she that inexperienced? It'll be fun to show the pleasures of adulthood then.

"So?" I asked, bringing her attention back to me, "What _are _you doing at a bar by yourself gorgeous?"

"I-I… Uhh," She stammered, panicking mildly. She stopped and swallowed, visibly gathering her courage. "I-I come here e-every night," she finally answered, face still red, and breathing still ragged.

I could see her mind was still trying to make sense of what was going on.

Aww, she's so cute. And so innocent too.

It's kinda a shame that her innocence will be gone so soon.

"Yeah? It _is_ a pretty nice place," I said, giving her a safe conversation topic so she could collect herself. Properly this time.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed, the colour of her cheeks beginning to fade as a bright smile came to her face. "I love it here! The atmosphere is always so nice! And the music is always good too!"

"Yeah, I can tell," I said with a smile, turning to look at the dancefloor and bard.

"Hey," I said, "See those guys dancing?" She nodded. "Wanna join them?" I asked her with a grin.

"A-ah, no… I c-can't dance…" she responded quietly.

She wanted to, I could see, but she didn't want to make a fool of herself.

I stood and grasped both her hands in mine, "Well neither can I!" I exclaimed with a laugh, pulling her to her feet, "But that won't stop me!"

"W-wait! What are-"

I cut her off. "Aww, c'_mon_," I whined, dragging out the last syllable, a kinder smile in place.

She wasn't resisting very hard.

"You _know_ you wanna," I claimed with a cheeky grin.

"O-okay," She stopped resisting, but looked away, embarrassed.

We got to the dancefloor, but she looked lost, unsure of what to do.

I took the lead, taking her hands once again, and started pulling us around the floor in a manner that barely resembled dancing.

She gasped as she accidentally trod on my foot.

"Ow!"

"I-I'm so-"

"Vengeance!" I exclaimed, cutting off her apology with a vendetta, a lightly stepping of her own toes, just enough to be painful, which she gasped at.

Hopefully she took the hint.

She did. A glint came into her eyes, an evil smile came across her face, and she stood on my toes once more.

"Oi!" I looked up from the toes she had stood on to look at her face. A cheeky smile adorned her face and her eyes were shining.

I narrowed my eyes in mock seriousness before smiling and declaring "This means war!"

Thereafter, we tried to both attempt to dance, while stepping on one another's toes as often as possible.

It was a silly battle, full of smiles and giggles.

Eventually, we went back to the bar, smiles wide and out of breath.

We sat and took to our drinks again.

After I finished my drink, I turned to Shiro, who was just finishing her own drink.

"Say," I began, and she turned to me, "what's your opinion on ale?"

Still out of breath, Shiro turned to me, a little confused.

"I don't mind it, why do you ask?"

"Well," I began, "want a taste?"

She glanced at my empty glass with visible confusion.

Really, you'd think she'd understand what I was getting at.

"Bu-"

I cut her off again with another kiss, this time more passionate.

She moaned lightly, enjoying the contact, her eyes screwed shut and face once more going red.

I pushed my tongue forward through my lips, tasting hers.

She gasped at the new sensation, and I took the opportunity to invade her mouth, exploring everything I could reach.

She moaned, louder this time, into my mouth. Her arms moved, her left arm wrapping around my neck, while her right hand entangled itself in my hair, and she began reciprocating the attention I had been giving her mouth, wrapping her tongue around my own.

I stood, never breaking the kiss, and closed the distance between us, forcing her to tilt her head upward and rise from her seat slightly to remain connected. I wrapped my right hand around her, holding her waist tightly, while I began rubbing the side of her thigh with my left.

After a moment, I slid my hand further up, examining her shapely ass with it.

She seemed to enjoy it, as she pulled her arms tighter, pulling herself tightly against me, the soft globes of her breasts squishing against my chest.

I squeezed her rear, smile coming to the forefront, and in response she quietly squealed into our lip-lock, tensing up for a moment before beginning again with more intensity.

Ooh, she liked that _very_ much.

I moved my hand from her ass, bringing it back up to the top of her thighs and began rubbing again; thumb teasingly close to her crotch.

I broke off the kiss slowly, sucking at her bottom lip as I left her whimpering in disappointment while my hand continued.

Her eyes remained closed for a moment, before they opened slowly. The spheres of emerald were glazed with lust, dazed and unfocused.

Her breathing was open mouthed and ragged. Her tongue crept forward over her lip, testing and tasting. She ran it around her mouth, over every inch of skin available on her lips.

Her eyes regained focus and she locked eyes with me.

If I thought they were lustful before, now they looked downright _hungry_.

She wanted to continue, and _now_, but I had a better idea.

"I've got a room upstairs," I whispered to her huskily.

She bit the side of her lip and stared up at me.

She removed her hand from my hair and moved it around my neck, then leant up, pressing herself bodily against me, and whispered into my ear "Take me Kazuma,"

I smiled victoriously at that.

I reached into my wallet and tossed down money for our drinks and stood up, Shiro still against me.

I wasn't going to be able to walk like this.

To fix this, I picked her up off the floor, similar to bridal style, but more upright, and then went for the stairs.

Before I was even half way up, she pounced on me, pulling me into another heated kiss. I did manage to make it up the stairs and into my room, where I tossed Shiro onto the bed.

She looked at me hungrily, biting her lip and made a 'come hither' gesture. I grinned and fell onto the bed, supporting myself above her and immediately claiming her mouth.

Her hands went to go around my shoulders once more, but I grabbed one, her left, and redirected it under my shirt so she could explore my physique. She began feeling around my abdomen, fingers tracing the valleys between the muscles, and quickly her other hand joined the first in its ventures.

My left hand went down to her thigh, before slowly returning upwards, rubbing across her thigh, her hip, the exposed skin at her waist, and finally up to her chest, where I slowly slid it over her boob.

The moan she let out was cut off by a gasp as I squeezed, enjoying the soft and elastic feeling under my palm.

She whimpered as I pushed away, upwards onto my knees. I stripped off my shirt quickly, and she raked in my chest. After giving her a moment to enjoy the view, I leant down and gripped her shirt just below the collar, then _pulled_, ripping her shirt apart and exposing her naked chest, buttons flying.

I spent a moment enjoying the incredible view I was laying witness to.

A flushed face looked up at me, hungry eyes looking into my own. Her chest was heaving, large breaths struggling to quench her thirst for oxygen, her beautiful breasts flowing up and down with each gasp.

I went back down, smile wide and intent to truly started showing her the pleasures of the flesh.

Now the fun _really_ began.

* * *

I woke to find Shiro's naked body pressed against my own, and I let free a sigh.

The sex had been great.

We had been up well into the early morning enjoying ourselves, so I woke tired.

Though she was (past-tense) a virgin, and had no experience, she more than made up for it with her enthusiasm.

Her willingness to experiment was just a bonus (mind you, a very _big_ bonus).

And it turns out her ears and tail were _very_ sensitive, which made for a lot of fun.

I carefully untangled myself from her, so she would not be woken, then began dressing. After I was done, I picked up a piece of paper and pen, and wrote a small note for her.

'_To Shiro,_

_Morning beautiful!_

_Hope you had as much fun as I did last night ;)_

_Unfortunately I had to head off early to meet with my adventuring party, which is why I'm not still with you._

_I may be busy for a few days, but I'd love to catch up again, so I'll be at the bar again whenever I can!_

_See you soon - Kazuma'_

I pocketed the note and went downstairs to the bar and ordered some breakfast. Just some simple scrambled eggs and toast.

When it arrived, I asked for a tray, put the meal and letter on the tray once it had arrived, and headed back to my room.

I crept in to find Shiro still fast asleep, her arms now holding tightly to the pillow I had slept on.

I was tiptoeing over to her when the door slammed shut because I forgot to close it behind me.

I winced and she stirred.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked around blearily, before her eyes landed on me.

"Morning beautiful," I smiled apologetically as I greeted her, "Sorry for waking you,"

"S'okay," she said, before yawning cutely.

Shiro began pulling herself upright, but seemingly forgot her lack of clothes, as the sheets slid down her smooth skin, exposing her breasts.

I enjoyed the surprise flashing before she realised her mistake, letting out an "Eep!" as she covered herself.

I chuckled and walked over to sit next to her, laying the food on the bedside table.

"Have fun?" I asked smugly.

She blushed and looked away, but nodded.

She leant over and rested her head on my shoulder.

I sighed; feeling relaxed, and rested my head against hers.

"Sorry Shiro," I began, "I've gotta go and meet up with my adventuring party, so I can't stay, even if I want to,"

"I had a great time with you, and I'd love to meet up again sometime," I continued before she could speak, "But I'm gonna be busy with adventurer stuff for a couple days at least. So, you wanna meet up again here when we can?"

She smiled, "I'd love to. I'll be at the bar every night,"

I smiled in return, "Awesome," I said, before turning and planting a sweet kiss on her lips.

"Alright," I said as I stood, "I'll see you next time gorgeous,"

As I turned to leave, she called to me, "Wait, Kazuma!"

I turned around as she leapt up at me, grabbing my shirt and pulling me into a heated kiss.

Her hand journeyed down and began massaging my groin, then she broke of the kiss.

"One more time?" she pleaded, giving me the 'puppy dog eyes' as her ears flattened against the head.

Holy shit, how the fuck was I meant to resist that?

I rolled my eyes with a smile, stripping off my shirt. "Alright," I said, "One more time,"

* * *

It ended up being _five_ more times. But in my defence, she was very, _very _enthusiastic.

After I finally escaped her sexy clutches I went to the Adventurers' Guild for some breakfast.

Upon entering, I saw that Aqua and Megumin had already arrived and they sat eating.

"Morning," I said as I sat down next to Aqua and let out a yawn.

"Oh," Aqua replied, surprised, "Good morning Kazuma. Where did you go last night?"

I let out another yawn before answering, "Went to a highly recommended bar, danced with a pretty girl, then had great sex with her all night,"

Megumin sucked in a breath, and began coughing, choking on the food that was in her mouth, while Aqua instead opted to soak Megumin with the drink that had just been in her mouth.

I sighed.

It was gonna be a _long_ morning.

* * *

**So!**

**Kazuma gets the sexy times! Good on him!**

**And yes, Shiro will be a recurring character, though she probably won't meet the rest of the main cast for a while (yes I'm making everything up literally **_**as**_** I write it).**

**This chapter would probably have been up a couple days ago, but I was out on the weekend, as it was my 18****th****, so sorry 'bout that. I wanted to write, but I was stuck doing family interaction stuff. And no, before you ask, I did not get drunk. I'm not interested in drinking. Yeah yeah, I know I'm a boring fucker.**

**I did get some good stuff though!**

**Finally got replacement headphones, so I'm now back to wearing HyperX Cloud IIs like 12+ hours a day lmao. Got a decent bit of money, and a nice mousepad. I've got a new 1TB SSD coming to replace the default M.2 in my good laptop (it's a Samsung 970 EVO if you're wondering) which I'm looking forward to.**

**This chapter has probably got the biggest deviations from canon, with Megumin getting a new spell, Kazuma finding out about Eris, and the introduction of Shiro, just so you know. I liked writing it though. I enjoyed the added freedom that came with it, but it took me a lot more time and effort unfortunately, so we'll be going back to a more similar plot-line after this.**

**And let me know what you thought of how I wrote Kazuma's fun with Shiro, because I've never written anything like it before, so hopefully it's alright.**

**I'm also done with school now! So I'll try get more chapters up more consistently and more quickly!**

**See you all in the next one!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**P.S. FanFicNet is having some server backlogging problems at the moment, so if I don't see your comment for a while, that's why.**

**P.P.S. Thanks for your review Dedede Cultist! I only just saw your review, like, after this chapter was posted so I'm ****going back and editing this in (like I said above, server problems)**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,292**

**Story: 17,046**


	4. Chapter 4

**Super quick AN: So a reviewer brought to attention that the whole meeting with Shiro felt rushed, which was in fact my intention. I wanted to make Kazuma seem like he was really aggressively working to get what he wanted. But after rereading it, I feel I haven't made his manipulative nature apparent enough. I'm not gonna change the previous chapter, but I'm going to work to be both more obvious, and more detailed with that from now on. **

**That's all, enjoy!**

* * *

Megumin managed to clear her throat of the food that had been vacuumed into it after I answered Aqua's question regarding where I had been overnight.

"Y-you went out… and had s-s-sex?!" she exclaimed with flushed checks.

Black panties are definitely too mature for you little Megumin.

"Yes. That is what I just said," I answered, face deadpan.

"B-but why?" Aqua this time. She had red cheeks too.

Huh? Why are _you_ embarrassed about sex, you stupid goddess? You warned me against heaven because I _wouldn't _be able to have sex.

"What do you mean, why?" I replied incredulous, "It's sex! Why do you think I did it? It feels good, you moron!"

Her eyes widened, and she looked away with embarrassment, Megumin doing similarly.

I looked from one to the other and said, "Any other stupid questions?"

They ignored me, instead going back to their respective meals.

God. I'm too tired for this shit.

I looked up to try and order some food, but my attention was drawn to a blonde woman approaching us.

I groaned inwardly. I swear to god if I have to deal with her 'Masochist' bullshit right now…

She opened her mouth to greet us, but was interrupted.

A loud broadcast, likely heard all around the town, called with Luna's voice.

"Emergency quest! Emergency quest! All adventurers in town, please gather at the Adventurers' guild! I repeat, emergency quest! Emergency quest! All adventurers in town, please gather at the Adventurers' guild!"

"Emergency quest? What's going on?" I asked the girls, who had perked up to listen to the broadcast.

"It's probably cabbage harvesting time," Darkness answered, "It's the season for them, after all,"

Huh?

"Cabbages? Like, the vegetable? Like… Cabbages?" I asked.

What is she talking about? Why the hell would there be an emergency quest for fucking _cabbages_?

God, this is reminding me of that '50fuckingboiledcabbages' password meme.

Darkness and Megumin both nodded, so I turned to Aqua, still confused.

I look of realisation passed over her face. She leaned in and whispered "The cabbages of this world are sentient, and they don't wanna get eaten, so they all run away when they get ripe. It's up to us adventurers to catch them!"

Weird.

"I apologize for gathering everyone on such short notice! I think everyone should know the emergency is because of the cabbages! It is time to harvest cabbages for this year! The quality of the cabbages is great this year, each one is worth 10,000 Eris!"

I let out a low whistle at that.

That's some good money to be made, and quickly.

"We have already evacuated the residents. So please harvest more cabbages and turn them in here! Please take care of your own safety and don't get hurt from the cabbages counter attack! Also, because of the large amount of people and bounty, the reward would be given out at a later date!"

Cheers erupted from all the adventures within the Guild.

We all quickly marched to the West Gate, and formed up outside the wall.

I could see them. Across the flat, grassy plain thousands of rapidly moving green dots were visible. They were like a cloud, and they were approaching fast.

Some of the more hot-blooded adventurers let free battle-cries, charging forward to intercept the flying vegetables.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

* * *

I took a bite from my meal.

Fried cabbage, collected by we adventurers just this morning.

It was surprisingly good. Especially considering how simple it was. Fried cabbage with salt and pepper. That's literally it.

But it was really good. Just how?

With the 'Cabbage Hunt' quest complete, the entire town had begun serving cabbage based meals.

The quest, for me personally, was a big success.

It was easy, and netted a big profit.

Early on, I had realised that the best way to catch them with the least damage, would be to pierce straight through them with a sharp pole, so I 'borrowed' a guy's rapier, and started hunting.

My luck, Martial Artist skill, and thief skills made the whole thing a breeze.

Hide, pierce through them or steal them out of the air, collect and repeat.

I also managed to pilfer a good amount from other adventurers when they weren't paying attention, which was often, based on the nature of the quest.

Overall, I ended up with a total of 126 cabbages. Even worst case scenario, I was looking at 500k minimum, though I'd have to wait and see.

"You're so skilled, Darkness!" an adventurer exclaimed, "As expected of a Crusader! The cabbages couldn't break through your iron wall defence no matter what they tried!"

"No, I didn't do much," No, she really didn't, "I am just really tough. I am clumsy and slow, so I can't really hit my target, my only strong point was shielding others… Megumin has impressive offense. You took out the horde of monsters that was chasing the cabbages right into town with just one explosion attack. All the other adventurers were shocked," Also true.

Megumin let out a smug laugh quietly before speaking.

"None could stand up to the power of my explosive magic… but Kazuma was the most active one. He picked me up after I exhausted my mana and carried me back,"

Yep. She got over-eager and ended up using her 'Explosion' spell immediately, ignoring her newly acquired spell. I was then tasked with hauling the idiot out of harm's way.

"… Yeah, when I was surrounded by cabbages and monsters, Kazuma showed up and captured all the cabbages attacking me, thank you for rescuing me," Darkness added.

And not just Megumin.

I am beset, on all sides, by absolute fucking idiots.

At least Aqua helped to some degree, going around healing and supplying drinking water. Though that didn't benefit me, so that was worthless too.

Not like I could have her following me around with buffs though, considering my illegal activities, so not much choice until I can properly induct her into my own sense of moral reasoning.

Said goddess, who had finished her own meal of cabbage, placed her plate on the table and turned to me.

"Kazuma… With my authority, I grant you the title 'Elegant Cabbage Thief'," She proclaimed.

"Call me that and I'll slap you," I answered with neither delay, nor expression.

She ignored me.

"Well then," Darkness spoke up, "I am Darkness; a crusader. Theoretically, my weapon is a 2-handed sword, but don't count on it too much. I am clumsy with my hands and tend to miss," _Right_. Only _tend_ to, "But I am good at being a tank, so please take care of me,"

Oh god, it seemed she was actually joining the party.

Fuck, why have you done this to me, Past Self?

"Hmmph! Our party is becoming great. I am an Arch Priest, Megumin is an Arch Wizard, and we have the defensive specialist vanguard, Crusader Darkness. Three out of four members having top tier jobs is super rare, Kazuma! Do you know how lucky you are? You have to be grateful okay?"

I could help a snort.

Be grateful. Yeah fuckin' right.

A healer that barely heals, a glass cannon with only two spells, and a melee fighter that literally couldn't hit anything. Not to mention they were also idiotic beyond belief, extremely hot-headed, and suffering from a crippling degree of masochism, respectively.

The chance of me being grateful is closer to zero than the chance of me donating to a charity for selfless reasons.

Side note; I don't believe in the existence of selflessness.

Honestly, having Darkness on the party would be valuable, even if she couldn't hit anything. It would even be _good_ if it weren't for-

"Ugh… Ah, the feeling of being ravaged by cabbage and monsters is unbearable… I am the only orthodox vanguard in this party, so don't hold back, use me as a bait or shield. If it is necessary, you can even cut me off as a sacrifice… Hmmm! Just, just imagining that made me tremble in excitement…!"

Yeah. That.

Holy _fuck_ is she revolting.

And yeah, I _know_; objectively, masochists are good, because they're easy to manipulate and extort, but I just find them absolutely fucking disgusting, and I've got no clue why.

"Well then, Kazuma," She continued, "I will probably- No, I will definitely be a bother to you, so don't hold back and lecture me viciously. Please take care of me from now on,"

I couldn't help but sigh.

* * *

I looked at my adventurer card, showing a large number '7' beside the level indicator.

The fight with the cabbages seems to have increased my level twice more.

Well, actually, it might be from eating.

Luna said you gained experience from killing monsters, or by eating them.

So yeah, probably eating, considering I didn't do much of the killing personally.

With the four points I had acquired from my level ups, I learnt two more skills. I found a mage and a swordsman who were willing to teach me basic spells and swordplay.

'One-handed Sword' and 'Basic Spells' were both actually free, being skills normally learnt simply by acquiring the select jobs, so instead I sunk the points into upgrading them.

I ended up using both points on the spells, increasing both cost efficiency, and output, leaving two of the new points remaining.

I felt the versatility provided by the four basic elemental spells was more important than increasing my proficiency with a sword, when I could easily achieve that through practice.

Not to self: When the funds from the cabbage hunt come in, get tutoring for swordsmanship and magic. I'll see how much I can improve through conventional means before spending more of my points.

I had gone just to a popular picnic area within the town's wall to experiment with my magic.

I had the four basic elements; Water, Wind, Fire and Earth. Each of spells generating a small amount of their corresponding element. They were all named 'Create' then the element.

The quantities they produced were not large enough for a direct use as offense, but I had thought of a couple of indirect uses.

'Earth' could quickly give me a handful of small-grained dirt, similar in size to nice beach sand, then with 'Wind' to blast the dust into my opponents eyes, blinding them. 'Fire' in one hand (thankfully not burning me) and 'Wind' in the other gave me a nice little flamethrower, though it was difficult to cast from both hands at once.

It also seemed I could manipulate what exactly came out with the spells. To a degree at least. I could make the 'Water' be fresh or saltwater, the 'Earth' could be plain dirt, sand or a different shade, I could make my 'Fire' blue, like it was a gas flame, and I could mix up the chemical composition of my 'Wind'.

I could make my 'Wind' have a much higher concentration of oxygen with little difficulty. Toss that on a flame, and it burns a whole lot better.

With my discoveries, my 'Flamethrower' (which I had decided to name for convenience sake) became a whole lot hotter, and could travel a whole lot further.

Progress was good.

Next step is to see if I can cast without chanting.

Note to self: Get a basic ice spell to. Good way to reduce stability.

"'Create Fire,'" I said, calling up a new flame, but focusing of the sensations.

It was odd. I could feel something traveling from my core, through my arm and out of my hand. Something I never knew was there until I first cast.

Magic.

The Magic (or Mana, yeah, mana is better), always felt the same as it approached my hand, and always took the same route. When it reach my hand, however, that's where it began to take form. It sort of… _bent_… and by the time it reached my skin and broke through, it had formed into the element I wanted to cast.

But that's something to worry about when I get there.

First step: get mana to my hand.

I cut off the spell, but kept track of the flow of my mana.

First I tried willing it to move, to pour forth to my hand, but that resulted in nothing.

Okay, different approach. I'll try moving it like it's a muscle.

Do you know how hard it is to flex a muscle you didn't know you had? Here's a tip: it's real fuckin' hard.

I tried again, flexing all the muscles in my chest, tensing everything.

There! I felt it move then!

Again, I tensed, as hard as I could this time, and it tensed as well.

I could feel it. The muscle that was pushing my mana. I felt it.

I kept a hold of it, but slowly relaxed everything else, getting a grasp of exactly what I was doing.

Once I felt I had a feeling for it, I let go, waiting a moment, then trying again.

It took a couple of tries, but I managed to push my mana without tensing my whole body. But that's all I managed; Pushing. It didn't go anywhere, it just felt like I was building pressure.

I cast my 'Create Flame' again to see if it would provide any insight. I dropped it after a moment, finding nothing, but revising the path it took.

Oh, that's an idea.

I cast again, but pushed my mana.

The flame surged. Doubling in size and tripling in heat.

I quickly tried it with the other elements, getting the same result, a dramatic increase in output.

Awesome.

Okay, back to the task at hand. I could push it, but it had nowhere to go.

I brought my memory of the path and feeling to the forefront of my mind.

I tried to pull, pull it down through my arm, and it followed.

Fuck yeah!

I did it again, managing to bring it to my hand, and with one final push, through the skin.

Nothing happened. It just kinda bled away, doing nothing.

Right, I've gotta shape it before it goes anywhere.

I cut off my mana supply, and once more recast 'Fire'.

A new flame erupted, and I focused on my hand.

The mana, as it reached my hand, felt pure, but when it left it was excited, heated, burning.

Simply put, it felt like it _was_ fire. Like I was making fire from myself.

Was it as easy as that? Just willing it to be fire?

I decided to try it. I stopped the spell, then pushed my mana, willing it down to my hand but stopped it at my hand. I focused on it, willing it to change, to become fire. To burn, to combust, to ignite.

I pushed, and ignite it did.

Flame sprung from my hand, brighter and hotter than ever before. I panicked and cut off the mana supply, and the flame vanished as quickly as it appeared.

I sat there, dumbfounded, before I let out an anxious laugh. A laugh that quickly increased in volume, changing tone from cautious to joyous.

"Fuck YES! I am the fucking BEST!" I screamed to the sky, high on adrenaline and elation.

I jumped to my feet and tried again. My mana flowed easier, I could already feel, ready to answer my call. It bent to flames almost immediately, springing from my palm in a metre long torrent of fire, bright and burning, scorching the grass below it.

I pushed harder, and it answered, pushing further, hotter and brighter.

I stopped and laughed again, "Woo!" I screamed in joy.

God I am the fucking _best_, holy shit.

I took a moment to calm down, and then started on the other elements.

The first cast was always the hardest, but once I had a feel of how I needed to change the mana, it came a whole lot easier.

'Water' became dramatically stronger, going from a depressing little flow to a gushing, pressurised torrent. 'Earth' didn't change much unfortunately, just made dirt quicker, nothing fancy. 'Wind' though? Now _that_ was something.

When I gave 'Wind' a stronger push, a gale sprung from my hand, knocking me off my feet and onto my ass.

I blinked, dazed from my new position on the floor, then grinned.

I stood again and firmly planted my arms by my sides, locking my muscles to hold them there.

I slowly started pushing my mana. Wind pushed out of my hands, this time incredibly weakly. Weaker than a quiet breath. I slowly started amping up the force until it was blasting against my legs. I was being pushed away from the floor.

I started pushing again, stronger and stronger. My heels lifted off the floor, leaving me on my toes.

I was nearly at my limit. I pushed as hard as I could and I was lifted completely above the ground.

I was fucking flying!

I can fucking _fly_!

My left arm slipped, flicking to the side and in my panic, I lost my focus and fell onto my back.

As I lay there, I cackled, before I decided that I would _master_ these spells. Powerful and weak, quick and slow. I would learn everything there was to learn until I could do anything I wanted to without a second thought.

* * *

It was a couple hours later, when I was practicing calling forth controlled amounts of my spell as quickly as possible when a thought struck me.

These spells were as simple as thinking of what element I wanted to produce and supplying the mana for it, so could I do it with elements I didn't yet posses?

I had to try, because if I could, then I wouldn't have to spend any skill points on them, freeing them up for other skills to learn.

I'll try for something simple first; Ice. I already had water, which would complement it nicely.

I drew mana into my hands; it had long since become as easy as breathing, and concentrated.

Ice. Cold, brittle, crystal, _freeze._

My temperature of the air around my hands plummeted, drooping well below zero in a fraction of a second.

Oh, _fuck _yeah.

I stood and quickly made a small puddle at my feet, about a metre in diameter.

I knelt down and cast.

I touched my hand to the water's surface, and it immediately solidified around my hand, but didn't travel very far. I pushed more mana into it and it spread, but not very far. I was nowhere near the other side of the puddle.

Maybe I could push the ice _after_ it hand left my hand?

I tried to push the mana that had left my body. I closed my eyes and tried visualising it spreading throughout the pool, turning the whole thing solid.

I felt it moving, spreading, cooling. I opened my eyes, and the puddle was pure ice.

I smiled.

I was a fuckin' _magician_ baby!

* * *

"Hey Megumin," She looked up to me from her seat as I took my own opposite her.

The three women took in my appearance. I had gone and purchased some basic adventurers' apparel, some leather armour on my chest, steel around my forearms and lower legs, and a green cloak trimmed in yellow on my shoulders. I had stopped to purchase this before going back to the guild for dinner.

"You ever hear of chantless casting?" I asked her.

She snorted, "'Course, but it's nearly impossibly hard to learn," She said firmly, before admiring my new apparel, "Nice clothes, by the way,"

"That so?" I asked.

She nodded, so I determined that a demonstration was in order.

For dramatic effect, I clicked my fingers and called a small, lighter sized flame to the tip of my index finger.

I raised an eyebrow at her as her jaw dropped and eyes widened.

"K-K-K-Kazuma-sama, how are you doing that?!"

Oh? A rise in honorific? Was I that awesome?

"Pure skill... and practice. Lots of practice," I admitted, cutting off the spell.

"Okay, cool trick I guess,"

"D-do it again!"

The bored acknowledgement from Aqua and demand from Megumin came simultaneously.

"Just cool?" I asked as I conjured a flame over my palm and had it dance around my fingers for Megumin's amusement, her eyes brightening and following its journey intently.

"How about this then," I continued, sliding her my adventurer's card, "Tell me exactly what Spells I know, would you?"

"You've got the four basic elemental spells. That's it," She answered, still bored.

I smirked, leant over, and grabbed her glass, freezing the contents solid.

"Huuuh?!" She exclaimed in shock, looking between her glass and my card frantically.

"What do _you_ think of it, Megumin?" I asked the girl, summoning a pencil sized piece of ice in my other hand and smoothly twirling it around my fingers, while quickly flaring the flame blue before back to orange.

"S-so cool!"

"See? Megumin understands. Why don't you be _grateful_ for how lucky you are to have someone as awesome as me in your party?" I asked, flipping her words from earlier in the day on her, a _very_ smug smirk firmly in place.

"Anyway, we need to start taking quests again. The mating season of the giant toads has begun, so they've been around town more-"

"No toads!" Quickly came for Megumin and Aqua simultaneously.

"…Why not?" Darkness asked as I groaned, "Toads fear blades and are easy to take down; their sole mode of attack is grabbing prey with its tongue. The defeated toad meat could be sold for easy money. I heard that you might get eaten if your equipment is too weak, but since toad hates metal, Kazuma should be safe with his current equipment. I will protect Aqua and Megumin,"

"They seem to have a psychological barrier against toads after _their own idiocy_ got them both eaten," I said, levelling a glare at both women.

"We'll chose another quest then," I continued as they flinched, "We're still new, so it'll have to be another easy quest,"

"What an introverted Shut-in… Only Kazuma has a weak job, so I understand why you are being cautious. But including me, the other members have top tier jobs! We should take on a bunch of high difficulty jobs and make lots of money, level up like crazy and take down the Demon King easily! That's why; we should take on difficult quests!"

"You have been next to useless the entire time we've been here,"

She was stunned. Megumin and Darkness quickly left to find a quest, not wishing to be apart of the conversation any longer.

"When you demonstrate your worth, we'll take on harder quests, you _former _goddess. And so far, you realise that _I'm_ the only competent one in the party, right?"

"Ugh… No, not former, erm… in principle, I am still a goddess…"

Aqua looked down but she still argued with me, and my voice turned louder.

"Goddess! What should a goddess be doing? What did you do during the cabbage hunt? You did grab a lot towards the end, but you were spinning around because of the cabbages and threw a tantrum on the floor! Even vegetables could make you cry, are you really a goddess? Are you really qualified to call yourself a goddess? Your only contribution so far is getting eaten by a toad and party tricks!"

Aqua burst out into tears.

Good, vulnerability is up. Time for kindness; establish myself as protective.

I grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes, putting on a kinder look.

"Look Aqua, I get that you wanna defeat the Demon King as fast as you can to get home, alright?" Quieter tone… now, "I do," Up the sincerity, "I promised you that I'd get you back home," switch to determined, "and there's no way I'll ever break that promise," Perfect, now apologetic, "but as we are now, we're nowhere near strong enough," Now for a bit of excitement. "But I have lots of knowledge of Japan, and Luna recommended that I become a merchant because of my Luck, remember?"

She wiped at her eyes, nodding.

More excitement now, "Well, I can make stuff from _my_ world, sell it in _this_ world and make a fortune! We can use that money to buy Experience rich foods and get super high levelled really easy! Then the Demon King won't stand a chance!"

I took my hands off her shoulders and grabbed her hands instead.

I looked down 'apologetically', enjoying the sight of her thighs as I spoke.

"I'm sorry for what I said just before; about you not helping. I'm scared. Scared that we'll die, and that I'll fail you,"

I squeeze her hand, looking her in the eyes again. She had brightened up, and now looked sympathetic, understanding.

Fucking idiot. I wasn't scared. I don't think I can even _feel_ fear.

I pulled up another determined look. "It might take longer this way, but I _will_ get you home. Remember that Aqua. I'll do _everything _I can for you,"

Ohoh, that was _smooth_. I impress myself sometimes.

She sniffled, her eyes tearing up again. She disconnected her hands and flung herself around my shoulders.

Nice. An even better response than I was hoping for.

She wailed, "Thank you sho much Kashuma-shan," She managed, arms tightening as she cried once more.

I wrapped my arms around her too, holding her tightly.

I couldn't help the vicious smile that came to my lips. "I'm here Aqua. I'll always be here,"

She recovered after a couple of minutes, returning to her normal seating strategy, though she was closer. Much closer. Her shoulder was pressed into my side, her thigh against my own. She had also commandeered my left hand, holding it tightly in both of hers below the table.

Darkness and Megumin returned shortly after.

They clearly noticed Aqua, her eyes red and puffy, and her proximity to me. They looked sympathetic, and in Megumin's case, a little envious. They sat without a word.

I cleared my throat, deciding to go with a little embarrassment, before I spoke.

"So what did you find?" I asked.

"Well, we found a quest that should help Aqua level," darkness answered.

Right, she was a healer. Not much in the way of mob clearing for her.

"Undead?" I asked simply.

She nodded, as Megumin spoke "The only problem is that Darkness' armour isn't repaired yet,"

Right, she managed to get it nearly completely smashed being a meat shield when we fought the cabbages.

Darkness crossed her arms and announced frankly:

"I am fine with it. My full set of defensive skills are not just for show. Even without armour, I dare say that I am harder than an Adamantoise. And it feels better without armour when I get hit,"

"… You just said it feels great to get hit,"

"… No I didn't,"

"Yes you did,"

"I didn't… The only question is whether Aqua is willing…"

"So what do you-"

She was asleep.

This fucking girl.

* * *

On a hill far away from town.

There was a public cemetery for poor and homeless people.

The dead are buried in this world.

A hole would be dug then they would be covered with earth.

Our quest this time was defeating the undead monsters that were emerging from the cemetery.

It was almost evening.

We set up a tent near the cemetery and wait for night to fall.

"Slow down Kazuma, I saw that meat first! Here, the vegetable on this side is done, so eat this instead!"

"After the cabbage hunt, I don't like eating vegetables anymore. I am afraid of the vegetable flying off somewhere if I grill it,"

We set up a hot plate some distance away from the cemetery, barbecuing as we wait for dusk.

We spent the time leisurely even though it was a hunting quest because the target was a small fry known as a zombie maker.

It was an evil spirit that could control zombies. It possessed a high quality corpse and manipulated several other zombies like minions.

A novice party could defeat this monster, so we took on this quest.

So even though Darkness did not have her armour, it wasn't too dangerous for her.

After finishing their meal, I poured coffee powder into a mug, adding water with my 'Create Water', and used 'Fire' to heat the mug.

Megumin looked at me with a complicated expression and held out her cup.

"Excuse me, please give me some water. I feel that Kazuma is more proficient than I am in using magic. Basically no one uses basic spells, but you make it looked convenient,"

I cast 'Water' into Megumin's cup.

"Is that so, isn't this the way to use basic spells? Oh, right," I called forth some 'Earth', "What do people use this spell for?"

I showed Megumin the dusty earth on my palm.

There are all sorts of elemental basic spells, but I wasn't sure how normal people utilized this earth elemental magic.

"Well… The crops grown from magically created earth are high in quality… That's it,"

After listening to Megumin's explanation, Aqua besides me burst into laughter.

"What, Kazuma wants to plow the lands? Are you changing jobs to farmer? You could use 'Create Water' for the plants too! This job is a great fit for you, puhehe!"

I faced Aqua with my right palm and raised my left hand.

"Pu he ahh! Ah–! My eyes!"

A gust of wind blew the dust onto Aqua's face, the goddess rolled on the ground after the sand got into her eyes.

"That's not the only use it has, genius,"

"Huh?! Normal people don't use it that way! And why are you using basic spells better than a wizard?!" Megumin exclaimed

"'Cos I'm great,"

* * *

"It's cold," Aqua whined, "Hey, Kazuma; our quest is to take down the zombie maker right? I have a feeling it won't be a small fry like that, but a big shot undead,"

It was late at night now. The full moon had risen and shone down on us, providing a small amount of light.

"Definitely, but it doesn't matter. After all, we've got a powerful Archpriest on our side, don't we?"

She smiled, "Right!"

We started towards the graveyard, myself in the lead, waiting for my 'Detect Enemy' to ping.

Ping it did.

I drew my sword and spoke, quickly and quietly, dead serious, "There are lots. Be ready,"

Many more than there should be.

I could detect at least 6, when a zombie maker should only be able to produce 2 or 3 minions.

Blue and white lights suddenly shone from the middle of the cemetery.

What the fuck is going on?

That blue light seemed evil and fantasy like.

The blue light that was visible from afar was a giant magic circle.

At the edge of the magic circle was a figure in black robes.

"… Hmmm? I think… that isn't… a zombie maker," Megumin said unconfidently.

Besides the black robed figure were several fluttering shadows.

"Are we going in? Even if that isn't a zombie maker, anyone staying in the cemetery at this hour is probably an undead. If that is the case, it wouldn't be a problem with Arch priest Aqua around."

Aqua took out her staff and appeared anxious to move on.

Calm down, you dumb bitch.

"Ah—!"

I don't know what the suddenly shouting Aqua was thinking as she charged at the robed figure.

"Wait! Hey, wait up!" I called.

The charging Aqua ignored me and rushed to the figure, pointing at it with her finger.

"How dare of you to show up here, Lich! I will take care of you!"

Lich?

On par with vampires, a Lich is one of the top tiers of the undead.

High level wizards could desert their mortal bodies through magical arts and become the immortal known as the overlord of death.

Unlike the undead monster that rose because of strong grudges, they twisted the order of nature and were existence which defied god.

A powerful monster akin to a final boss.

Fuck.

"Stop, stop–! Who are you? Where did you come from and why are you destroying my magic circle? Stop! Could you please stop?"

"You are noisy, shut up undead! You must be thinking of using this suspicious magic circle for devious means, I will stomp it! Stomp!"

The powerful monster grab on to Aqua's waist in tears, attempting to stop her from stepping on the magic circle.

Huh?

The minions besides the lich didn't move in to stop the two of them wrestling with each other, and just stood there watching them blankly.

What the fuck is going on right now.

Aqua claimed the person she was entangled with was a lich. However, the way it looked, she was just a pitiful passer-by that was being picked on by a hooligan.

"Stop–! Please stop–! This magic circle is used to send the wandering spirits to heaven! Look, the spirits are floating from the magic circle towards the sky right?"

Just as the lich said, lots of wisp like bluish white objects that came from nowhere drift into the magic circle and was goes up into the sky along with the light of the magic circle. I didn't trust her though, who knew what she was doing.

Just because they were going up, didn't mean they were going to heaven.

"You are acting too arrogant for a Lich! An Archpriest like me will perform such benevolent acts, so just scram! You are taking too much time, watch me purify the whole cemetery along with you!"

"Eh? Wait, stop!"

The Lich started to panic when she heard Aqua's words.

The panic seemed legitimate however.

But Aqua ignored her, opened her arms and shouted.

"Turn undead–!"

A white light encompassed the entire cemetery with Aqua in the middle.

That light seemed to be gushing out from Aqua's body and the zombies around the Lich disappeared when the light touched them.

It was the same with the spirits gathering at the magic circle of the Lich, they disappeared when Aqua's light reached them. The Lich was also basked in that light…

"Hyaaa–! My, my body is fading? Stop, my body is disappearing! I will be purified!"

"Hahahaha, foolish Lich! Your existence goes against the law of nature, an undead that defies the will of the gods! Disappear, be vanquished by my power!"

"Aqua,"

She stopped, turning to me.

"Don't kill her just yet,"

I turned towards the lich, kneeled down and addressed her.

"Who are you and what were you doing?"

She opened her mouth to answer but I cut her off.

"Be careful. If I don't like what you say, or I so much as _think_ you're lying, you _will _die,"

Aqua cracked her knuckles from above us, reinforcing my point.

Her eyes widened and her already pale skin whitened further.

"M-m-my n-name is W-Wiz, and l-like I said, I w-was s-sending those s-spirits to h-heaven! I s-swear!"

I rolled my hand in a 'go on' gesture.

"B-because… As you can see, I am a Lich, the overlord of the undying. As the overlord, I could hear the voice of the spirits wandering in the world. Most of the spirits in this public cemetery don't have money and didn't have a proper burial, so they couldn't move on to the afterlife and loiter the cemetery every night. Since I am an overlord, I will visit periodically and send the children on their way,"

"That's _why_, but you haven't told me _who_ you are,"

"I-I'm Wiz, a lich, and a general of the Demon King's army,"

Oh.

That makes things easy.

"Aqua," I said as I stood. She grinned and raised her arms to cast.

"Wait! Please don't purify me!"

Seeing that I made no move to stop Aqua, she screamed, "I can help you defeat him!"

That's a good offer.

I put an arm in front of Aqua to stop her.

"How,"

"T-the other generals and I only maintain a barrier around his castle! I've never actually hurt anyone! You could likely break the barrier if there are only 3 generals to maintain it, but if I assist, you could do it when there are as many as 5 still remaining!"

I mulled it over. The offer was good, but I would probably defeat all the generals first before taking on the big boss man himself. I didn't want any reinforcements arriving when we fought. Plus, they'd be good Experience.

I'll let her live. For now. Though I may kill her myself eventually for a few levels.

I bent down and offered her a hand.

"Sorry about that Wiz, I hope you understand my caution. My name is Kazuma, and this is Aqua, Megumin and Darkness," I said, gesturing with my head at the three of them.

She took my hand gratefully and I pulled her to her feet.

"Y-yes, I understand. Thank you for sparing me, Kazuma-san,"

"So, why are _you_ the one doing this Wiz? Shouldn't the priests be doing it?"

"Ahh… Well you see…"

* * *

**We'll see next chapter! **

**Sorry this chapter took so damn long. Because I'm now done with school, the school asked for their laptop back. My other (much better) laptop doesn't have Microsoft Office on it. But I've got it now! I had to wait until Sunday because my dad was super busy with work, so he only managed to get enough time to put it on my computer at the end of last weekend. So yeah, sorry about that. And sorry for the minor cliffhanger too. I just thought it better to finish the chapter to get out to you all rather than maybe spend another day writing, because I was about at my creative limit for today (I've written 3518 words just today).**

**Let me know what you think of how I've done magic! I honestly like it, but criticism is important to improve. And also what you think of how I handled the manipulation scene. As I said earlier, I'm gonna put a bigger focus on it, and explain it more thoroughly too.**

**I also made a couple of small changes with Skill Points. Kazuma now receives 2 points for each level up, and I changed the cost of explosion up to 35, which should be about accurate to canon considering our Kazuma doesn't have the point penalty like he does in canon. Thanks to nhehvnukl** **for pointing this out to me!**

**And view wise for the story? **_**What the fuck happened. **_**When the first chapter came out, it peaked at 52 views in a day. The second at 98. Okay, so probs gonna be around 125-175 views right?**

**I got **_**three fucking hundred**_** (and twenty two)**_**. **_**In one day! **

**What the fuck!**

**And I've been averaging 150 views a day since then!**

**You guys are fuckin' crazy!**

**Thank you all so much!**

**So the next chapter shouldn't take nearly as long. I'll probably get it out Monday-ish, 'cos it's a public holiday over here. So I'll see you all again then!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**P.S. I know that my name is meant to be on a separate line but fuck you I'm not changing it.**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,220**

**Story: 23,226**


	5. Chapter 5

It was the day after meeting Wiz.

Long story short on why _she _was the one going around purifying the spirits was that the Priests that should've been doing it we lazy. They weren't gonna go around purifying these spirits when they could be doing for another spirit that'll actually get 'em paid.

Aqua, as a Priest, wasn't too happy to hear that about her Job class, but I handled her easy enough. We also worked out a system in where Aqua would go around and do the purifying periodically, something else she wasn't happy about, something about her beauty sleep I think, but she agreed.

Unfortunately, because there was no Zombie maker to defeat, we failed the quest by default, and weren't rewarded.

"Have you heard? Rumour says that a boss of the demon king army had taken over an old castle which is situated in the hills a short walk from town,"

In the corner of the bar operated by the guild.

I was listening to a man sitting at my table and drinking during the day.

I am not drinking beer though, but Neroid swish.

What is Neroid?

What is swish?

I have no clue, but it was an okay non-alcoholic drink. I wasn't a fan of alcohol of any kind. I didn't like giving myself a physical and intellectual handicap.

I finished the 'Neroid' and place the cup on the table

"Sounds bad. Not my problem though," I said.

"Right you are," He agreed.

There were many people in the Adventurers' Guild today, chatting about various topics and providing me with useful information.

For example, spotting dangerous monsters at some place so do not take quests from that area.

"Anyway, it's better not to approach the abandoned castle to the north of town. This is not the capital of the kingdom, so who knows what the Demon Army general is doing here. But since it _is_ a general, it is probably a Lord Ogre, vampire, arch demon or dragon. No matter which one of them it is, it's _gotta_ be a monster that could instantly kill us. The best way is to not take any quest near that abandoned castle,"

"Right, thanks for the tip," I answered.

Better to take the effort to be polite so I could possibly receive more info in the future.

"What? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Aqua, Darkness and Megumin took small mouthfuls of the vegetable sticks in the cup in the centre of the table as they stared at me.

"Nothing–? I wasn't worried about Kazuma joining another party or anything,"

Aqua said as she looked at me with uncertain eyes.

I sighed, "I was only gathering intel, nothin' more and nothin' less"

"Er… Right, I knew that," Aqua lied.

She is a terrible liar.

I took a seat at the table beside Aqua and reached for a vegetable stick.

Huh? It dodged.

The fuck is up with this world.

"'Steal'… So I've been thinking about what skills I should get, as I'm the most flexible of us," I took a bite from the carrot stick and continued, "What skills do all of you already have?"

"My skills are centred on 'Physical Defence', 'Magical Resistance' and 'Abnormal Status Resistance'. I have a skill called 'Bait', used to taunt the enemy,"

"Don't you plan to learn something like '2-handed sword' to increase your abysmal accuracy?"

"I don't plan to. It might sound like I am boasting, but my stamina and strength are great. If my attacks land easily, I could easily defeat monsters without taking damage. And it's not-"

"Yeah, yeah. I know where this is going, so you can shut-up now," I cut her off, not interested in hearing her masochistic reasoning.

I looked towards Aqua.

"Aside from party tricks, what have you got?"

She looked a little affronted, but answered regardless.

"I have just about every healing spell. Including 'Resurrection'!" She exclaimed with pride.

I let out a low whistle and beckoned for her to continue, which she did, after a moment of preening.

"I can purify any water based liquid into 100% pure water, I can summon water, cast some minor buffs and use 'Turn Undead',"

I nodded, "Good. Those are good skills. We'll want you to get some higher tier buffs, and maybe some debuffs to use too, but otherwise, you've got a good skillset,"

She preened more, seemingly very pleased with my praise.

"From now on, I want you to try to focus on just your buffs, and healing when we need it," She nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, looking slightly confused, though I cut her off, "Don't worry, I'll tell you if we need some of your other skills, alright?"

She nodded again, "Got it!"

Finally, I looked at Megumin.

"Apart from 'Detonate'," She began, "All of my skills are about improving 'Explosion'. I _do_ have 'Fast Chanting', which would help 'Detonate' too though,"

"Okay. _Please_ remember to stick to 'Detonate'. We can't have you cast 'Explosion' from the outset of a fight, and then be stuck, and possibly in danger. I can't let you get hurt Megumin; you have the super important role of being our Trump Card if things really go to shit. You understand?"

She seemed very happy with my words, her face even flaring up when I said 'I can't let you get hurt,' and she quickly nodded, agreeing to my request.

* * *

A few more days passed.

Days I spent rigorously training my magical capability.

I learnt about what could be accomplished with the spells I have, how they worked with the mana I put into them, and how much mana I could use before I pulled a 'Megumin'.

Here's a way to look at it. How much effort I put into pushing my mana is equal to how much mana I consume for the spells. However, comparing mana consumption to the resulting output follows something of a curve.

If I consider the base output as the mid-point, an exponentially higher amount of mana is required, the higher the output I want to produce is. Inversely, an exponentially smaller amount of mana is required to make the output smaller. This means making the spell stronger uses way to much mana, while making it weaker requires way to much focus and control to maintain it.

My limit, it would seem, for magical consumption is quite high. I hadn't noticed it in my first tests, but I came quite close to expending all of my mana, I just didn't notice the new sensation that came with my mana capacity running low.

The first day of training, I overdid myself quickly. It took me a minute of using my life force as fuel that I noticed the effects. I felt weak. Heavy. Like the world was working particularly hard today to drag me face first into a kiss. The absolute _killer_ of a headache was just a bonus.

And what a _bonus_ it was.

After a couple of hours whining to myself about how everything sucked, and becoming familiar with the sensations of being absent of mana, it seemed to have recharged, so I returned to practice.

The morning second day I spent seeing how having a low quantity of remaining mana affected spells. Good news; it didn't. I was essentially free to use my spells at full strength, so long as I remained careful of not running out. From late morning to evening, I went about running myself dry, letting myself fully recharge, then running myself dry again, on repeat, getting myself accustomed to the feeling of how much mana left equated to what output I could use for how long. The third day, I purchased a watch and timed how long it took to recharge from empty, which turned out to be roughly 2 hours and 6 minutes.

The results would be more accurate, but it's hard to tell when I'm 'fully' recharged, as my recharge rate isn't continuous. It takes a moment to start up after usage, and begins to slow as I approach full capacity.

Yeah. Pretty awkward there.

The fourth day I dedicated to experimentation. I managed to replicate a basic 'Light' and 'Electricity' spells, but like 'Freeze', they weren't as potent as my base four spells. Likely because I didn't have the skill associated to producing them.

I had hoped that with my slight ability to modify my spells, that I'd be able to produce flammable materials with 'Create Earth', but to no avail. Though it did give me an exceptional idea.

Alchemy.

Not, like, potion making, but specifically, 'Transmutation'.

A spell that can change one element to another. Lead to gold, copper to steel. Change something cheap to something valuable. Or maybe something else. Something less inherently expensive, like, perhaps, Uranium.

I could possibly produce nuclear weapons.

I seriously needed to get 'Transmutation'. This just got moved straight to Priority One.

Priority Zero was, of course, my personal safety.

But back to the present, it was the morning of the fifth day after meeting Wiz.

I sat at the table at the Guild with Megumin and Aqua, eating breakfast. Aqua was up at the counter collecting her reward from the cabbage hunting quest.

On her request, we decided to receive our own individual rewards from the quest, likely as her harvest was only second to mine.

"Kazuma, look. I earned a lot, so I tried enhancing the armour I sent in for repair… How is it?"

Inside the incredibly crowded adventurers guild filled with people collecting their bounties, Darkness showed me the armour she got back from the repair shop happily.

Well, if I want to put it simply…

"This armour look like something an upstart son of nobility would wear,"

"…Kazuma is merciless no matter the time and place. Even I would want to hear an honest compliment some time,"

Darkness said with a dejected expression.

How the fuck am I supposed to know?

Anyway…

"There is _someone_ even more problematic than you, so I don't have the time. Could you please take care of that pervert who's acting worse than you do?"

"I can't- can't take it! The magic powers from this staff made from manatite, the colour and glister…"

Megumin was hugging her newly upgraded staff and grinding her face against it like the contact was bringing her physical pleasure.

Manatite is a rare metal said to have special magical properties. Adding it in when making a staff or other magical device would increase the power of spells cast with it.

Since strengthening her staff with her earnings, Megumin had been acting this way.

I heard the power of the explosion spell would increase by dozen or so percent.

Why are you increasing the power of the explosion magic that was already blatantly over powered? Isn't it already excessive enough?

If I were a betting man, and I am, I'd say that you're compensating for something; little Megumin.

Instead of voicing my thoughts, and receiving the assault like retaliation that would be sure to come should I do so, I instead opted to ignore her.

I am already satisfied after collecting my rewards.

Darkness who attracted the monsters who came because of the cabbage.

Megumin who destroyed those monsters with a single spell.

And Aqua who chased the cabbage on her own without caring about, nor assisting any of us.

"What did you say–? Wait, what is this?"

Aqua's voice reverberated through the guild.

As expected, Aqua was arguing with the person manning the counter.

She grabbed the collar of the poor counter lady serving her and protested.

"Why is there only 50,000 Eris? You know how many cabbage I caught, right? It's way more than 20!"

Woah, she can count to 20? An astounding accomplishment from the resident moron.

"Um, this is hard to say…"

"What!"

"… What Aqua-san turned in was mostly lettuce…"

"… Why was lettuce mixed in there?!"

"Even if you ask, I don't know!"

From their conversation, there seemed to be a problem with the bounty.

Aqua probably realized there was no use in arguing with the woman, and returned to the table.

Aqua put her hands behind her back and approached me with a smile.

"Ka-zu-ma-_san_… How much did you get from this quest?"

"Two mil'," I answered, mouth full of food.

"T-two million?!" Aqua stuttered in return.

Aqua, Darkness and Megumin were stunned beyond words.

The cabbages I caught were mostly high grade cabbage that yield plenty of experience points.

This. This right here? This is just one of the reasons why the luck stat is the _single_ most valuable stat that exists.

"Kazuma-sama–! How should I put this… I always thought that you were the best guy I ever met!" Aqua praised

"I'm not giving you money," I responded with finality.

"B-but Kazuma-san, I thought I would earn a lot from the quest, so I spent all the money on me in the past few days! I estimated I would make heaps of money, so I owe nearly a hundred thousand Eris in this bar! I can't pay it off with the bounty!" She cried.

"Then work hard to make the money to repay your debts and learn from your mistakes. They aren't mine to cover," I said firmly, but kindly.

'Kazuma…" She whined, tears in her eyes, "You promised to help me,"

Oh? Trying to guilt me into helping? That was a mistake.

I darkened my expression rapidly, throwing in a bit of betrayal to strengthen the blow.

I quickly grabbed a platinum coin from my wallet, tossed it at her aggressively, forcibly pulled the coin pouch she had received from the guild away from her and stood.

She flinched hard and I lent down, "Don't you ever _abuse_ my promise again," I delivered harshly.

She paled and her eyes widened. She realised her mistake, face showing her shock, regret, guilt, and fear.

I kept up the angry expression as I gave her a final, sideways glance, before turning on my heel and walking out of the guild.

Upon making it out the doors, my face returned to its default neutral position, leaving none the wiser to the breach of trust I had apparent experienced.

I think I'll take the day off. Let her stew in her _accomplishments_ for the day while I enjoy myself.

Oh, maybe I can visit Shiro again. It's a Saturday, so she's probably not working. That'll be fun.

Mind made up, I headed south to the bar where I first met Shiro that never bothered learning the name of.

* * *

I had a fun day.

Shiro had been at the restaurant portion of the bar when I arrived, and was very pleased to see me again.

We talked a good bit, and I got some insight into why she was so easy the first night.

Short of it is; strict, over-protective parents, a week of built-up arousal and a low alcohol tolerance.

Long of it isn't too different. She hated how cooped up she was by her parents' rules and restrictions and left the household as soon as she turned 15 (the legal adult age here). A friend got her some work and she shared accommodation with a couple other young women.

That was all well and good for a couple of years.

Then she got a new, better paying job. Of course, this job was also much harder working, and left her exhausted by the end of the day. After finishing her meal, she would simply collapse in bed and fall asleep. This left her no free time to 'enjoy' herself, and lead to a whole lot easier job for me when I arrived at the end of her first week. Plus, I was apparently nearly perfectly her 'type'.

Guess you could say I really _lucked_ out.

That wasn't all I learned of course. I also learnt a lot of menial things. Likes, dislikes, sexual habits, that kinda thing, which I had catalogued in my mind to help me with interactions in the future.

Did you know she really likes dogs, even if they don't really like her? Seems that her biological heritage didn't carry the rivalry that dogs and foxes had as not-so-friendly fellow hunters.

Her vulpine ears are also more capable than my own. She can pick up quieter sounds more easily, and if they're completely reflective of real foxes, they'll be able to pick up lower frequency sounds that I can't. She would be useful for dungeon exploring. Much more capable at picking up strange rock movement or hearing enemies who are sneaking or are simply further away.

A neat fact I learnt is that most demi-human races are incapable of producing half-blood children, the only exception being the elves, which yes, are considered demi-humans. For them, the race of the child follows the race of the mother over 90% of the time.

The day wasn't all fun and games however.

I had just arrived in front of Wiz's shop.

When we parted ways I had asked for (see 'demanded') her address.

It was small and simple, not unlike the majority of the buildings around it, differing only with the small sign out in front of it, claiming that the building was a magical item store.

I pushed open the single wooden door and a small bell above me jingled, signalling my entrance.

"Coming!" A voice from the back called, "One moment please!"

"Hello again Wiz," I said as she came around the corner into my line of sight.

"Oh," She said, surprised, "Hello again Kazuma-san. Are you here for something specific, or would you just like to browse?"

"I'd like to ask you something, actually," I said. At her inquisitive look, I continued, "You're a lich, so you've been around for some time, so I wanted to ask; what do you know about Alchemy?"

"You've come to the right person," She began proudly, "Because I know quite a lot about potion making,"

Huh, seemed this world followed the Elder Scrolls when it came to potion craft, using 'Alchemy' and 'Alchemist' rather than 'Etymology' and 'Apothecary'.

"Not that kind of Alchemy,"

She looked a little panicked and said, "I er- d-don't know what you're talking about,"

I rolled my eyes, "Does 'Transmutation' ring any bells? How about 'Chrysopoeia'?"

"H-how do you know those words?"

"My, my… Wiz, were you withholding information from me?" I asked, tone darkening, as I lit a small flame on my palm.

Her eyes snapped to the fire, widening rapidly. Seems that my chantless casting was even more impressive than I thought.

"H-how are you-"

"What do you _know_ Wiz?"

"I-I only know _of_ it. Alchemy hasn't been practiced in _centuries_, how can you possibly know the spell names?! And how are you casting without chants?! Nobody in the last three centuries has been able to do that!"

"First question; you don't have to worry about, and the second; through skill, knowledge and determination. Now tell me more about Alchemy,"

* * *

I left the store somewhat unsatisfied, but not unhappy with what I had learned.

No-one had _learnt_ Alchemy in centuries, but that didn't mean there was no-one alive who knew about it. The person who did, just happened to be another of the Demon Kings generals. She didn't know which one, only that one did, unfortunately, so I would have to figure out who, and force them to use the skill before killing them, which makes my job harder, but not impossible.

Alchemy had died out because it was a very dangerous magic for whoever was casting. Basic spells would consume all of the casters mana, and carve right through their life-force as well if preparation wasn't done correctly.

My guess is that it was due to a few things. The first being the lack of knowledge of the Laws of Conservation of Mass and Energy. What you were attempting to make had to be of identical mass or you'd have leftovers, or much worse, not enough.

'Not enough' is much worse because your body would use your mana to create the missing mass. As the people of Earth know due to Einstein's famous equation of general relativity; E=mc2, or Energy is equal to Mass times the Speed of Light squared. With this you can easily figure out how much energy would be needed to produce just a gram of extra material. Speed of Light is constant, and normally rounded up to about 300 million metres per second. So 300 mil times 300 mil times 0.001 (1 gram) equals 9 times 10 to the 13 joules, or 90,000,000,000,000 joules.

There are roughly 30,000,000 seconds in a year, so with 1 gram of matter converted directly to energy, you could power a 10-watt globe for about 300,000 years.

Another note; a 1 megaton Nuclear weapon outputs about 4.8 times 10 to the 15 joules, so 50 grams of matter into energy is roughly as powerful as the Tsar Bomba, the most powerful nuclear weapon ever used.

50 grams is 4 tablespoons worth of sugar.

That is enough to recreate the Tsar Bomba.

Imagine trying to recreate that with your life-force.

I think you understand the danger there.

So Alchemy had died out, but I think I could make it work, with my understanding of modern day science and chemistry

Chantless casting, on the other hand, wasn't dangerous; it was just incredibly difficult, _apparently_. The last person to be capable of chantless casting lived about 350 years ago, and was the single most accomplished mage in recorded history. After learning everything the _was_ to learn, he went about learning something that couldn't be purchased.

I think the problem is that the adventurers of this stick exclusively to the skills they get from their card, rather than trying to develop them themselves. Rather than self-teaching and experimenting, they stick exclusively to what is in their 'textbook'.

It was evening, and darkening quickly.

If I wanted dinner, I'd have to get some soon.

I made my way back to the Guild.

I'd left Aqua alone for long enough I think.

I opened the door at walked to where I could see the three girls.

Aqua was picking at her food, barely eating, before she spotted me. She jumped to her feet, startling Darkness and Megumin, and ran towards me, tears already forming.

"Kashuma!" she wailed, "I'm shorry, I'm sho shorry Kashuma-ha-ha,"

I opened my arms and she leapt into them and began weeping.

"I'll pay you back… I promise," she said after a moment, sniffling, "I-I won't take a-advantage of you a-again either, I swear. I won't forget what y-you've done for me,"

"It's okay Aqua, it's okay,"

"Even though I'm so useless and I'm not thankful… Please don't leave me Kazuma-san…"

I tightened my hold on her, which she reciprocated, "I won't leave you Aqua, and I won't break my promise… I'm sorry too; I over-reacted," I said.

She shook her head, barely lifting her face from my shoulder, and said "No. It's my fault. I was greedy and out of line. It was my fault, not yours,"

I sighed, "What am I gonna do with you?" I said light-heartedly.

Looks like Aqua's conditioning was going excellently.

I slowly pulled out of the hug and walked with her to our table. I smiled apologetically at Darkness and Megumin as we sat, smiles they returned with sympathy.

I ordered dinner for myself with Aqua attached to my side.

Once my food arrived, our table had returned to our usual interactions. Apart from being asked what I did, where I answered very simply, everything was easy.

Once our respective meals were finished, I brought up the topic of quests, so we went to the quest board to see what was available.

"… Weird? Why are there so few requests?"

The board was usually full of request, but there were only a few today.

"Kazuma!" Aqua said, back to her usual self "Pick this one, this one! A giant bear showed up in the mountains, its name is Black Fang…"

"No! Hey, what is this? Why are there only high difficulty quests left!?"

As we were filled with doubt, a staff member, Luna again, came to us.

"I'm sorry… A general of the demon army seemed to have moved into a small castle near town… It might had been the influence of the demon army, but the weak monsters in the region are all laying low, resulting in a drastic drop in quests. A band of knights dispatched from the capital will be here next month to take out the boss. But until then, there will only high difficulty quests left…"

When she heard the staff member say that, the penniless Aqua screamed.

"Why—?"

Hmm, wonder how she'll repay me.

"Really… Why did he picked this moment to move here! I don't know what this boss is, but it better watch out if it is an undead!"

Aqua complained in tears as she started browsing through the employment magazine.

The other adventurers were feeling the same and seemed down. There were more people getting drunk in broad daylight.

I don't know why the boss chose to move here.

'Cos, y'know, I'm not psychic.

There were many parties stronger than we were, but their powers were still limited. This is the first town novice Adventurers visits, a place for the beginners to learn the basics.

In game terms, a Demon King General should be a near end-game boss.

We had a hard time fighting toads; there was no way we could take on the boss, regardless of a numbers advantage. He could just drop a low level AOE (Area Of Effect attack) and wipe us all out instantly.

We'd need another advantage if I wanted to kill him.

It seems that for the moment; I'll have to wait.

* * *

"That means until the powerful adventurers and knights from the capital come here next month, we can't work as usual," I said.

"Yeah. During this period of time when we can't do quests, I would need you to accompany me like this…"

I came with Megumin to the outskirt of town.

There are no dangerous monsters around town right now. Since the general arrived, they've all gone into hiding.

I came along with Megumin who couldn't use explosion spell because we couldn't take on quests for a walk.

This girl had something she needed to do every day, which was casting her explosion magic.

Apparently.

I didn't believe her in the slightest when she told me that she needed to cast it once per day or 'she would die'. I decided to play along however. I might be able to learn some stuff from watching her magic usage repeatedly. I could also train my magic while I walked, working on maintaining control while doing other things.

"Here should be far enough," I said, impatient, "Go ahead and cast your spell and let's go back,"

A short distance from town, I rushed Megumin to cast her spell.

But Megumin shook her head and said:

"No, the guards will lecture me again if we do this too close to town,"

"You said 'again' just now didn't you?" I asked with a laugh, "How many times?"

Megumin glared at me with a pout.

"…? What is that, an abandoned castle?"

On the hills in a distance ahead.

A deserted ancient castle was erected there.

It looked just like a haunted house.

Ah. This is probably where the demon army general is staying.

"Let's pick that place! No one would complain even if I destroy a ruin like that,"

Wow, she's stupid.

But let's see what happens.

"One moment please," I requested, pulling out my Adventurers' Card, opening the 'Hide' skill and dumping six of my points into it to make myself substantially harder to find.

Megumin prepared the spell happily after I finished.

A breeze blew through the hills that made me felt refreshed.

The chanting of the explosion spell that didn't fit in with this comfortable atmosphere was carried off by the wind.

"'Explosion'!"

And so, Megumin and I started our new daily routine.

The penniless Aqua was working hard every day.

Darkness said she would return home to train.

The idle Megumin went to the abandoned castle to cast her explosion spell daily without fail.

It might be a cold evening with icy rain.

Or a lazy afternoon after lunch.

Or a refreshing morning when she went for a stroll.

No matter the time, Megumin would cast her spell at that castle every single day, to no response from the general.

Either he wasn't there, or much less likely, he didn't give a shit.

And I watched Megumin's spell every day, I came to understand the quality of the explosion she created with each spell cast.

"'Explosion'–!"

"Oh, that seemed pretty good. The impact of the explosion could be felt through my bones, followed by the air tremor that followed immediately after. It is strange that the abandoned castle remained intact but… Good explosion!"

"Great explosion!" Megumin responded with enthusiasm, "Kazuma understands the way of the explosion more now. Your comment today hit the mark and was poetry like… Kazuma when will you to seriously consider learning explosion magic?"

"I am, and have, but from the composition of our current party, there is no need for 2 wizards. But when our party balances out more, and I have left over skill points, I'll learn explosion magic,"

Megumin discussed such things with a smile.

Just like this, we talked about how many points we could give the sound of the explosion: Like even though it wasn't too loud, but the pitch was great, and chatted about the way of the explosion.

"Well," I said, picking Megumin up from the floor and placing her on my back, "Let's head back to town, shall we?"

* * *

After we continued our explosive stroll for a week, in the morning.

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all adventurers, please prepare your combat equipment and report to the main gate of the city ready for combat!"

The familiar emergency broadcast could be heard throughout the town.

After hearing the broadcast, we put on our gears and rushed on scene.

Many adventurers were gathered at the main gate. When we reached the scene, we saw an intimidating monster standing before us, and we could only stare at it blankly.

It was a Dullahan.

A monster that brought despair and premonition of death to men.

After turning into an undead, its physical strength only increased from what it had in life, and it possessed unique powers.

The knight in black armour standing at the front gate held its head on the left side of its body. Before the eyes of the gathered adventurers, it presented its head that was covered fully in its helmet before everyone.

The head said in a distorted voice.

"I am a general of the Demon King army, and had moved into a castle nearby recently,"

Ah, so he was in there.

"Every day every day every day! The crazy idiot who comes to my castle to cast explosion magic, where are you—!"

This boss of the demon king army was seriously angry.

I had to try very hard to not laugh.

I think we can still dodge conflict with relative ease. Considering he began with conversation rather than combat, it shouldn't be too hard to appease him.

The yell of the Dullahan seemed to be suppressing its anger until it couldn't hold back anymore, making the adventurers around me chatter.

Or rather, everyone present doesn't seem to get what was happening.

Anyway, the reason for the emergency summon was probably the Dullahan before us who was going mad from fury.

"… Explosion spell?"

The gaze of the people around us naturally fell onto Megumin besides me.

Megumin, who had quickly become centre of attention, turned her head sharply at a girl wizard standing beside her.

I followed her gaze, and looked at that girl. Everyone else around did the same and stared at the girl.

"Huh? M-me? Why are you all looking at me? I can't use explosion magic!"

The girl wizard who was being framed denied in a hurry.

Finally, Megumin sighed and walked forward with an annoyed face.

The adventurers in front of her parted, opening a path to the Dullahan.

Megumin stood about 10 meters from the Dullahan and faced him.

With myself in the lead, Darkness and Aqua also followed behind Megumin.

Aqua, who always seemed to attack aggressively whenever she saw an undead, probably thought the sight of an angry Dullahan was the sight of one close to attacking, and she watched him intently.

"So it's you…! You're the moron who cast explosions on my castle every day? If you knew I was the general of the demon army and wanted to challenge me to a fight, then enter the castle! If not, then just hide in town and tremble! Why are you bothering me with such convoluted means? I knew there were only low-level adventurers in town! I wanted to leave such minor characters alone, but you can't catch a clue and come boom boom booming with your spells every day! Is there something wrong with your head?"

Hey, someone else was catching on. Neat.

Megumin was intimidated and was a bit scared, but she still flicked the cape she wore.

"I am Megumin. As an arch wizard, I have mastered explosion spells…!"

"… What kind of name is Megumin? Are you mocking me?"

"No! That's not it!"

Even though she was retorted by the Dullahan when she introduced herself, Megumin composed herself and continued, "I hail from the Crimson Demon clan, the elite wizard of this town. I cast Explosion magic continuously in order to lure you, the general of the Demon army out! As I planned, you came to town alone after being tricked, your end is near!"

Seeing Megumin pointing her staff at the Dullahan excitedly, I was standing behind her and whispered to Darkness and Aqua.

God Megumin, could you trigger any _more_ flags?

"Hmmph, forget it. I didn't come here to mess with peasants like you all. I am here to investigate something. I will be staying in that castle for the time being, so don't cast explosion spell anymore. Understand?"

"That is like asking me to die. Those of the Crimson magic clan need to cast explosion spell once every day, or we would die,"

"Hey, hey! I never heard of this before! Stop bullshitting me!"

Fucking hell, she really doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut.

The Dullahan placed his head on his right hand and shrugged.

"You don't plan to give up explosion magic no matter what? Even though I had taken the side of darkness, I was a knight before and have no interest in slaughtering the weak. But if you continue to bother me with such things around the castle, I have my way of handling things too," he said darkly.

Megumin took a few steps back.

"I shall predict your death! You will die one week from now!"

As the Dullahan cast its spell, Darkness grabbed Megumin's collar and hid Megumin behind her.

"Huh? D-Darkness!"

As Megumin screamed, Darkness's body glowed with a faint dark light.

Oh. She got hit. Guess she'll die in a week. That'll be pretty funny to watch, considering her masochism.

"Darkness are you alright? Does it hurt anywhere?"

Megumin asked quickly as Darkness stretched her hands a few times to confirm it.

"Yeah, I didn't feel anything," she responded, sounding unimpressed.

"That curse won't harm you now," the Dullahan began, "My plans were a bit foiled, but since the camaraderie among adventurers is so deep it might just hurt more.

Listen carefully, girl of the Crimson demons. If this goes on, that crusader will die in one week. That's right; this is all _your_ fault! In the following week, you will see the pain of your companion and regret your actions!" he paused to laugh to himself, "You should have listened to me obediently!"

As Megumin's face was turning pale because of the Dullahan's words,

Darkness shouted as she trembled, "That means you had cast a death curse on me, and I have to do as you say in order for you to release the curse! That's what you meant right?"

"Huh?"

God fucking dammit.

"Ugh…! Just a mere curse. Don't think you can make me submit! I won't yield! But, what should I do Kazuma?" Darkness said, excitement building, "Look at that Dullahan; look at his evil lusty eyes under his helmet! No matter how I see it, he wants to bring me back to his castle and do as he pleases if I want him to release the curse. A pervert that wants me to do hardcore pervert play!"

The Dullahan, whose confusion and disgust only built the more she spoke could only make a confused "Huh?" once again.

Yikes.

"Even if you can do what you want with my body, you would never have my heart!" Darkness declared, "I am going to become a female knight imprisoned in a castle and let the henchman of the demon king do unreasonable things with me! Ah, what should I do? What should I do Kazuma? This situation is more thrilling than I expected! I don't want to go, but I have no choice! I will resist to the very last moment, so don't stop me! Well then, I will be back in a jiffy!"

I grabbed her by the collar and pulled her back.

"Leave the poor guy alone, would you?" I said, before turning to the general, "Sorry 'bout them. I do my best to stop the explosions for you,"

He looked a little taken aback, but responded with gratitude, "Thank you. If you want me to release the curse on that Crusader, then come to my castle! If you can make it to my room at the top of the castle, I will release her curse! But," he paused, "my minions are everywhere in the castles and it's full of undead knights. Can you rookie adventurers make your way to me?" He laughed before turning his horse and riding away.

Once he was out of sight, I turned to Megumin.

Her face had gone green and she trembled.

"Sacred Break Spell!"

"With me around, breaking the curse of the Dullahan is easy! What do you think? I look like a priest sometimes right?" Aqua said with pride.

"Nicely done Aqua," I said, to which she smiled brightly.

That's anti-climactic.

* * *

**Aha…**

**Nice Monday we're having… am I right?**

**So yeah, sorry this is so late. I planned to do a heap of this over the weekend, as Monday was a public holiday, but I ended up being super busy the whole time. Sorry about that.**

**So in this chapter, I addressed some good criticism I had received. I expanded on the usage of mana, and made sure that Kazuma doesn't have what feels like infinite mana. The other thing I did was try to explain Shiro's character in a way that made her actions in her first appearance seem more believable, as I had been told by a few people that she and Kazuma's interaction had gone too quickly and smoothly. Hopefully this makes is more enjoyable for you guys!**

**Also, holy shit. As of right now, I have 115 followers. 3 more and I'm on **_**the front page**_** by follows. I'm already on the front by reviews. Like, holy shit! The support for this has been awesome (and yes I know how cliché that sentence sounds, but I mean it).**

**I don't want to underestimate the release of next chapter again, but it'll definitely be out in a week, likely much sooner. I'll see you all again then!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Chapter: 6,439**

**Story: 29,665**


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a week since the Dullahan had shown up.

I was feeling restless.

It had been a full three weeks since I had arrived in this world, yet the totality of my adventuring activities were conducted on the second and third days.

Don't get me wrong, I've learnt a great deal in these three weeks. I've learnt motherfucking _magic, _I've worked hard and improved my swordsmanship in the last couple of weeks, and studied a great deal to become more familiar with the monsters of this world.

But I didn't want more theoretical, I wanted practical; I wanted to _fight_.

"I want to take on a quest," I said, announcing my thoughts to the table.

"Yes!" Aqua was quick to voice her approval for the idea, having been working hard as a store clerk to make back the money she owed me.

Megumin and Darkness were less enthusiastic, but agreed to consider the idea.

"C'mon Aqua," I began, "Let's go look at the available quests,"

"Right," she said, standing and walking ahead of me towards the quest board.

The light, natural sway in her step making her barely covered ass move nicely.

My eyes tracked the movement, enjoying the view as we approached our destination, where I then stood beside her as she scanned the board.

I looked to the board like she was and began checking them myself.

'Manticore and Griffon' nope.

'Magic experiments' no thank you.

'sword training' no. I wasn't good enough, and Darkness sure as hell wasn't either.

"Kazuma," Aqua called, pointing at a quest, "What about this one?"

'Hunting Manticore and Griffon are fighting for territory. It is dangerous to leave them alone, please hunt both of them. Bounty is 500,000 Eris.'

Is she insane?

"Huh? We'd be dead in _seconds_ if we tries to fight them!"

"Well I thought," that's not good, "that we could just let Megumin hit them when they're fighting. Take 'em both down in one shot!"

I'll admit; that's a damn good plan.

"That…" I began, "is a really smart plan," she smiled brightly, "but," the smile lessened, "it's too risky. If either of them is left alive, then we're all screwed. So good plan, but no,"

She tsk-ed her tongue, annoyed, but didn't argue.

"What about this one then? I could do it really easy!"

'– Lake purification–The lake which was one of the water sources for the town had been polluted. Brutal alligators had moved into the lake. Request for someone to purify the lake. The monsters in the lake will leave after purifying the lake, there is no need to fight the monsters *Requirement: Priest with purification magic. Reward is 300,000 Eris.'

So she planned to purify the entire lake while being attacked by vicious- sorry, 'Brutal' alligators?

"And how would you deal with the alligators?"

"Er… You guys could protect me?"

"and how long would it take to finish?"

"Umm… Half a day?"

That was way too long.

"Hmm. We don't know how many there'll be _or_ how strong they are. Maybe-" I paused, idea forming, "Say, how deep in the water would you have to be to purify it?"

"I just need to be able to touch it," she answered.

"Then how about we rent a high strength cage. You could sit in it to purify the lake, and the alligators wouldn't even be able to touch you! And if any of them get a little too excited, we'll be there to take care of them,"

"That sound great!" she said happily.

We went back to our table to discuss it with our other party members and plans were made to do the quest the very next day.

* * *

We managed to hire a cage directly from the Guild; fortunately, it came with wheels, so we wouldn't have to carry the half-ton steel box all the way to the lake.

Once we arrive, I found a tree near the edge of the lake. We slowly wheeled the cage into the water so it flowed up onto the floor of the cage, lapping lightly at Aqua's thighs as she sat on the floor of it.

I tied the thick rope that came attached to the cage around the wide trunk of the tree, ensuring that the cage, with Aqua inside, wouldn't go anywhere.

"Alright Aqua!" I called to her from 15 or so meters back, "Let's get this done!"

"Right! 'Purification'! 'Purification'! 'Purifica-'"

The water of the lake began to stir, and out from it burst six alligators.

Well shit.

They immediately went for the cage, and Aqua let out a shriek.

"Kazuma-"

"Keep going!" I yelled, cutting her off as I jumped to my feet.

Finally, some combat.

They were all intently focused on Aqua, seemingly not happy with her magical purifying and began slamming against, biting and pulling at the bars.

"Come on Megumin!" I called to the still sitting young woman, "Let's go get them! And no 'Explosion'! Darkness, you stay back and keep over-watch!"

"Right!" they called simultaneously.

Together, Megumin and I ran towards the water. I pulled my short sword from my scabbard as Megumin stopped and brought up her staff.

They looked identical to Earth alligators, so I need to stay clear from the jaws whenever possible. I've gotta keep in mind though, massive closing force, but very little opening force. I'll be able to hold them shut with one hand, I just gotta be careful when I do it.

And do _not_, under _any_ circumstances, let it get me into the water. Then I'll be completely fucked.

I charged towards the nearest alligator, who sat on the right of the cage, outside the water, sword held firmly in both hands, and swung at the creature's neck.

"'Purifi-"

It connected, but didn't pierce. The armour was too thick to slash, but the force still stunned the animal.

"-n'! 'Purifica-"

I took a step back to adjust my stance. I stepped forward, nearly on top of it now, and thrust downward at it, putting my body weight behind the strike.

"-ication'!"

The blade broke through the armour and carried on, carving through the weak underside and ploughing into the soft earth.

"-tion'! Purificati-"

The alligator struggled, but died in the second it took to free my blade.

"'Detonate'!"

A wave of hot air, accompanying a harsh bang, flowed over me from my right. I turned and saw a small crater, as well as two of the alligators; one of which upside down, that then quickly righted itself.

"-on'! 'Purifi-"

The monsters had moved around the other side of the cage to attack me, but had been knocked back by Megumin's spell.

A plan formed.

"Megumin!" I yelled, "Aim underneath them on one side! Get them upside down!"

"-fication'!"

"Got it!" She yelled back, already preparing her next spell.

I looked back to my right and saw that another two had shifted their attention to myself.

"-cation'!"

I feinted forward, and the closer monster clamped shut its maw on empty air.

"-on'! 'Purifi-"

I took advantage, taking a step forward and pushing my heel down on the top of its snout, locking it shut.

"'Detonate'!"

Its ally immediately charged at me, unhappy with the trapping of its brethren. It opened its mouth wide to attack as I spun, building momentum for my extended foot.

"'Purifi-"

My kick connected to the creature's lower jaw, that had lifted to aim for my torso, and the entire thing shifted, slamming headfirst into the cage.

"-n'! 'Puri-"

A 'crack' informed me that its jaw had broken completely, if the new diagonal position hadn't already done so.

"-ication'!"

The alligator under me had evidently had enough, as it rolled, nearly unbalancing me, but I coasted along on the remaining moment from my kick to right myself.

"'Detonate'!"

I dropped to a knee while it was still rolling and easily pushed my blade through the much softer skin that it had foolishly left exposed, straight into the thing's brain, killing it immediately. I jumped at the other alligator, now swordless, as it attempted to recover, delivering a brutal kick to the back of its neck.

"-urfica-"

I heard another 'crack' and it stopped trying to recover.

"-tion'!"

I quickly retrieved my sword and ran around the cage towards Megumin.

The three remaining alligators had moved in front of her, but seemed to be hesitant to attack; the burn marks and craters likely the reasoning behind it.

As I turned the corner around the cage, the closest one charged at me, before literally _jumping_ at my head.

Yeah, a ~200 kilogram carnivorous reptile just jumped a metre and half into the air and was now sailing, mouth open, towards my head.

Fucking excellent.

I leant back as quickly and as far as I humanly could, until my torso was perpendicular to the floor.

And motherfucking 'Matrix' style, the giant scaly death machine sailed straight over me.

In the process of leaning back, my sword had unintentionally come up to bear, and dug into the soft flesh on the underside of the monster, carving a long, but shallow gash along its chest.

I managed to pull myself upright, and turned to a dumbfounded Megumin.

"Flip it!" I screamed, pointing my sword to the other alligators.

She blinked, then cast.

"'Detonate'!"

A flash of heat and light erupted from underneath the closer monsters back leg, it was violently launched into the air, crashing back down onto its top side.

I didn't waste the opportunity, and ran forward.

But I couldn't chance being stuck without my sword.

I grew a foot long ice spike from the palm of my hand as I jumped on top of my upside down enemy, quickly plunging it down into its midsection, before continuing my forward path.

I kicked off from the injured monster into the air towards my only uninjured enemy. I swivelled my hips and brought an axe kick down onto its snout, forcing its nose into the dirt.

I summoned another ice spike, dropped down, and forced it in through the unsuspecting alligator's eye, through the socket, and into its brain.

An incredible, agonising sensation spread from my left leg. The jumping alligator had attacked again, and had snapped its mouth closed around my lower leg.

It pulled my back and I fell, sword falling from a numb grip. The pain that I already thought beyond awful increased exponentially as it began rolling, twisting me along on its deadly ride.

I got my free leg around and started kicking at it, but it only tightened its grip.

_Crack_.

Oh god. It hurt so much I nearly lost consciousness.

With the pain came rage. A true, legitimate anger; something I'd never experienced.

This filthy motherfucker would _not_ be killing me. And it was gonna _hurt_ for ever _daring_ to touch me.

With a scream, I gathered all my strength, pulled myself closer to it, and kicked as hard as I could at the base of its jaw. A crack sounded that was satisfying beyond belief sounded, and its hold immediately loosened.

I pulled my leg free and kicked again, aiming for the side opposite the break, causing the other bone to snap.

That wasn't enough. It was going to _suffer._

I slipped the fingers of each hand in between the teeth of both jaws, the bottom one now slack, and _pulled_.

The jaws separated.

15 degrees, 30, 45, but I kept pulling.

60, 90, 150, and I kept pulling.

With a strength I didn't know I possessed, I _pulled_, and I pulled the alligator's bottom jaw straight off it.

The sound of ripping flesh was symphonic, the warm splattering of its blood held comfort like nothing else, and my trophy came free.

I wasn't done.

I dropped my prize, still holding the top jaw, and shoved my hand into its now gaping throat, and it _burned._

I pushed as much magic I could into turning this stupid fucking creature into a motherfucking _firework_.

Watching it burn, hearing flesh sear, smelling meat cook; it was too much, and I laughed.

I fucking cackled as I killed this helpless monster in the most painful way that was physically possible.

I stood, broken leg crying in agony, blood pouring from the wound, dragging the corpse up with me.

I tossed the carcass away when I was upright, showing as much disrespect as I could, and looked around.

Darkness, Aqua, and Megumin all stared at me with wide eyes. Eyes full of awe and fear.

I stood, covered from head to toe in mud and gore, and spoke two words; "_Fuck_ alligators,"

Laughs of fear and relief escaped from the watching three.

I sighed and leant against the cage.

It was looking to be another long day

* * *

Aqua quickly healed my leg before getting back to her purifying, and Megumin and I were easily able to deal with the stray alligators that appeared over the next few hours, Megumin flipping them over with her 'Detonate' spell, and myself quickly dispatching them.

After Aqua had completely restored the lake, we began our journey home, though Aqua refused to leave the cage, saying she was too tired to walk all the way back.

Once we arrived back in town, attention began gathering on us, specifically on Aqua, who lay on her front in the cage, lazily kicking her legs, humming a happy tune to herself.

"God- goddess-sama! Is that you goddess-sama? What are you doing in such a place?!"

Who the fuck was this guy?

The cry came from a male teen, slightly older than myself. He was taller than I was by a couple of inches, but had significantly broader shoulders, and a stronger looking physique.

Brown hair and eyes adorned a dopey looking face.

He looked like a stereotypical protagonist from a manga.

I already wanted to slap him.

He rushed up to the cage and grabbed a hold of the bars.

The steel beams which had easily restricted access from the alligators bent with ease as he pulled them apart.

The fuck?

He reached inside for a speechless Aqua, but stopped when Darkness spoke.

"Hey, don't act familiar with my companion and touch her. Who are you? If she knew you, why would Aqua not have any reaction?"

Unlike her envious eyes when she saw Aqua surrounded by brutal alligator, Darkness was now a shield protecting her comrades, a proud crusader.

It would be great if she acted this way slightly more often.

The man glanced at Darkness, sighed and shook his head.

His demeanour seemed to be saying he didn't want to create trouble but he had no choice.

The man's attitude clearly pissed off Darkness who doesn't normally show her emotion openly.

"Oi," I said to Aqua, catching her attention, "You know this guy?"

She shook her head at me from her seat on the floor of the cage.

He obviously knew her, so she's probably just forgotten.

"Ah! Goddess!" She exclaimed, "That's right, I am a goddess. And? What problems do you want this goddess to settle? You people really are helpless!"

She stepped out of the cage through the gap in the bars the random guy had made, and dropped to the floor.

After exiting the cage, Aqua tilted her head at the man.

"… Who are you?" She asked, confusion evident in her voice.

"Why are you saying this goddess-sama! It's me Mitsurugi Kyouya! I received the sword Gram from you!"

"…?"

Aqua still tilted her head, not sure how to respond.

Ah, he's like me; a Reincarnate.

Looks like he'd taken the smart approach and taken a weapon.

Lucky guy.

He was wearing armour that looked very expensive and glowed blue lightly. On his waist was a sword in a large black scabbard.

Behind him stood two young, beautiful women, also similar in age. They both clearly carried affection for the newly named 'Mitsurugi', but one look at his face told me he had no idea.

God, I hate people this unperceptive so fucking much. Just roll over and die already you stupid fuck.

"Ah! Yes! Right! Er… you… Sorry, I totally forgot about you. I sent a lot of people here, so it couldn't be helped that I forgot!"

I wonder how many she _has_ sent.

"Eh, it's been a while, Aqua-sama," he began, a little uncertain, but confidence returning, "As your chosen hero, I had been working hard every day. My job is Sword master. I am already level 37… Oh right, why is Aqua-sama doing here? Or rather, why were you locked in the cage?"

'Chosen Hero'? Yikes. Aqua really should be more careful with her word choices.

He glanced at me, suspicion on his face. So in Mitsurugi's eyes, I was the one locking Aqua in the cage?

Fucking tard. It was pretty clear she wasn't against her position.

Even if I told him she was the one who didn't want to come out, this guy wouldn't believe me.

"She's in the cage 'cos she was too lazy to walk. Because sitting in a lake to purify it was _so_ much work," I said, deadpan, rolling my eyes as the girl in question let out a guilty chuckle.

"and she's on this planet because she's the thing I chose to bring here," I said to him quietly, so the others wouldn't hear.

"Preposterous! This is too illogical! What were you thinking, bring goddess-sama to this world? And you locked her in a cage and threw her in the lake for this quest?"

Huh? Just how stupid is this dude?

He reached forward to grab my collar, but I intercepted him, and caught his wrists.

"Don't touch me," I said darkly, staring him down before dropping his arms.

"You- what are you doing? This is nothing, I am living every day happily, and am not angry about being brought to this world!" Aqua explained to him, "And I can go back after defeating the Demon King! Today's quest was a bit scary, but it was resolved smoothly. No one was hurt and the rewards is 300,000 Eris. 300,000! And everyone said they will let me take most of it!

She _had_ done the metaphorical hard lifting, so we agreed that Aqua would get half.

"Aqua-sama, I don't how this man," he retorted, gesturing at me, "talked you into this, but you are being treated too poorly. After such a sacrifice, you only earned 300,000? You are a goddess! For a goddess to be treated this way…" He trailed off, before asking a question, "By the way, where do you stay at night?"

Does this dude not get that Aqua's divine status is meant to be kept incognito? Eh, guess I'll punch his head in as revenge.

"At the inn with Kazuma," Aqua she replied simply, "which is better than most adventurers get, they have to stay in the stables, all because Kazuma is so good at managing our money,"

"Guilty," I said as he looked at me, and I gave a small, sarcastic bow.

Mitsurugi broke eye contact quickly, and instead looked at the other two members of our party.

"A Crusader and an Arch wizard? And… They look rather good too. Seems that you had great luck in finding companions, but that doesn't make sense. Don't you feel ashamed in letting these two excellent members sleep in the stables? You mentioned your job is basically the weakest; 'Ranger' right?"

I glanced at Aqua and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I think," Aqua began in a whisper, "he was granted a powerful sword when he was transported to this world, and completed a bunch of high difficulty quest from the beginning. He probably had no worries about money… But that's the usual case for people with special abilities or equipment,"

Real lucky guy…

He spoke to the three women of my party, a sympathetic smile on his face.

"It must have been hard on you all so far," he began, "Please join me from now on. Of course, I won't let you all sleep in the stables, and I'll buy the full set of premium equipment for you. The balance of the team is great. I am a sword master, my warrior comrade and you as a crusader: along with my thief comrade, this arch wizard and Aqua-sama. What a perfect combination, it's a match made in heaven."

Oh my. It would seem I haven't been included.

How strange.

"It feels wrong. He is so bad that it made me cringe. And he was the one doing all the talking with his narcissistic tendencies, which frighten me," Aqua said quietly, mainly speaking with the other two to whom the offer had been extended.

"What should we do? For some reason I am unable to physically accept this man. I prefer active people over passive ones, but somehow that guy makes me want to beat him up," Darkness agreed.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

"Can I cast my magic? Can I throw an explosion spell into the face of the elitist putting up a front? A guy who's never had to go through any hardship before?" Megumin asked rhetorically.

That's quite the negative assessment of you Mitsurugi-_san_.

"Hey, Kazuma, let's hurry to the guild, okay? I might be the one who gave him the powerful sword, but I think it'd be better not to get too close with people like him,"

I nodded and turned to Mitsurugi, "That sounds like a pretty resounding 'no' to me, so we'll be off. You'd better pay us back for the cage you just destroyed, too. Let's not meet again, yeah?" I said dismissively, turning to leave.

Ah. He was blocking the path.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as he began to speak once more.

"Excuse me, but Aqua-sama is the one who bestowed this sword to me, and seeing my benefactor who granted me power fall to such a state, I couldn't simply ignore it. You couldn't save the world, the one to defeat the Demon King would be me. It would be better for Aqua-sama to follow me… You said you chose Aqua as the item to be brought along to this world with you right?"

Oh piss _off_ already, you self-righteous fuck-nugget.

"That is correct,"

Standard human behavioural conventions lead me to believe that he's gonna challenge me, likely a bet with Aqua as the winning item.

I wonder how I should beat him.

Maybe just 'steal' his sword and decapitate him? Nah, lethal approach isn't wise with the girls around. Don't want 'em catching on to real personality so soon.

I could just knock him out… But I think I'll go with the BM **(Bad Manners)** option, and humiliate him as much as possible.

"If that is the case, how about making a bet?"

Now who would've guessed that? "

You chose Aqua-sama as the 'thing' to be brought along with you right? If I win, you have to give Aqua-sama to me; If you win, I can promise you one thing; anything,"

"Since you challenged me, I get to decide how we fight yeah?"

He looked at me suspiciously, "So long as it _is_ fighting, yes,"

"Then how about unarmed?" I said, smiling savagely, taking off my scabbard.

Megumin and Darkness looked concerned, but Aqua's eyes widened, before she too, began smiling smugly.

Mitsurugi looked surprised, but quickly agreed, taking off his own scabbard and settling into an incredibly amateurish fighting 'stance'.

I myself dropped into a basic kickboxing stance, a sport I had dabbled in, and gave him a 'come hither' finger wave.

He ran at me and threw a sloppy jab, one I easily dodged, before delivering a strong right hook to his kidney.

He staggered, but not as much as he should have, given the strength behind the blow.

Likely the 30 level difference between us.

He stepped back and tried for a roundhouse kick.

It was terrible, and I punished him for it, sweeping his left leg out from underneath him, knocking him down onto his back.

He looked surprised, stunned even, to be downed as quickly as he had been.

"Get up," I commanded.

He took half a second too long to start, so I put a hard kick into his side.

He winced, and curled to protect himself, but began standing.

He roared in anger and charged at me, fist back.

I let him come.

He threw his punch, and I let it sail past my head, before turning away from his punch, and grabbing his arm. He was heavy, but the running start he put behind his blow made it incredibly easy to execute my throw. I pulled him bodily over my shoulder, and threw him down flat on his back.

A perfectly executed Seoi nage.

Gasps from the audience ensued.

His breath escaped him, winded.

He started lifting his head.

I lowered myself to one knee and delivered a hard punch to his forehead. The force knocked his head back, only to bounce off the cobblestone street and into my fist once more.

Three solid punches later, I lowered my knee onto his throat, choking him.

After a few seconds of frantic struggling, I lent down and spoke to him.

"Try shit like this again," I said darkly as he struggled beneath me, "and you _won't_ make it out alive. Got it?"

With hurried nodding, I lifted myself off his windpipe and stood upright.

He coughed and spluttered, taking precious oxygen into his lungs.

Now to make sure he didn't come for revenge.

I lent down once more and grabbed the collar of his armour and pulled him up, half a metre from the ground, before slamming him back down as hard as I could.

His head hit against the stone floor solidly, and he stayed there, unconscious.

"Y-you _monster,_"

One of his companions; the spear wielder.

"I am an _advocate_ of true gender equality. If you think you can take me, then go right ahead. I'll do the same, and _worse_, without hesitation," they both flinched.

"I'm taking the sword," I said, taking, surprise, the sword.

"W-wait! You can't use it! It only works in the hands of Kyouya-sama!" the other woman spoke.

"It's true," Aqua confirmed, "It's very powerful, but only in his hands,"

"I'm taking it anyway. And remind him when he wakes that he'd better pay for the cage he broke. It wasn't cheap,"

* * *

Our party sat at the guild, and Aqua went to turn in our mission completion.

"Huh? I told you that it was that Mitsurugi prick that broke it, not me!" Aqua complained loudly.

"Umm, that may be, but unfortunately, that is a matter you must resolve yourself. The Guild can't take sides in anything between adventurers," Luna explained.

Aqua looked unhappy and annoyed, but accepted the quest reward with the repair costs cut out.

She walked back, and immediately began complaining.

"200,000 Eris! That ass cost me 200,000 Eris!" she exclaimed, before her face dropped.

"I'm sorry Kazuma, I still can't pay you back…"

I was about to reassure her when said ass appeared and made a bee-line for us.

"So that's where you are! I had a hard time finding you, Satou Kazuma!"

We were just talking about Mitsurugi when he showed up with his two female underlings at the entrance of the guild. Shouting my full name, which I never told him, Mitsurugi rushed to our table and slammed both hands down.

"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"

"Satou Kazuma! I asked a female thief about you and she told me everything immediately. She said you like to strip woman of their panties. Other than that, your interest is to cover girls in slime. Lots of people are talking about you, devilish Kazuma,"

"That evidence is circumstantial at best,"

"… Aqua-sama. I swear to you, after getting my sword back from that man, I will definitely defeat the Demon King. So please join me and form a party pu- ah…!"

I let out a low whistle.

That was a nice punch, he got some good distance there.

"Compensate me for the cage you destroyed! It's your fault that I had to pay for that cage you jerk! The cage was made through a special process and materials, so it cost 300,000 Eris!"

Oh my, how dishonest. I'm honestly proud.

"Three hundred and _fifty_ thousand, remember?" I 'corrected' with a wink.

"Right!" She said, catching on immediately, "So you'd better pay up!"

After giving Aqua the money, he turned to me.

"It was still my loss. You won fair and square. Although it is shameless and selfish of me to say this after promising to do anything you wish… I beg of you! could you return the sword to me? That sword wouldn't be of much use to you, it is just sharper than normal swords if you wield it. That's the most you could get out of the sword… How about this? If you want a sword, I can buy the best sword in any shop and give it to you… Could you please return it to me?" he begged.

"Firstly, I wouldn't take your deal. You decided that my party member was an object to be had, and offer to buy me a decent sword essentially in exchange? Not a chance. Secondly, I don't have it," I replied, going back to my meal.

"Huh? Where is it?" he asked with building panic.

"Sold it,"

He let out a panicked scream and sprinted out of the room, his flunkies chasing after him.

"What is with that guy?" Darkness asked rhetorically, "Speaking of, he had been addressing Aqua as a goddess all this while, what is up with that?"

I worked to come up with an answer, but Aqua beat me to speaking.

"I had never told you this before, but I decided to say it now… I am Aqua. One of the patron goddess of the Axis cult, goddess of water… That's right, I am that goddess Aqua!"

"You had a dream like that?" Darkness asked.

I nearly choked on my food as I burst out laughing.

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all adventurers, please prepare all your equipment and gather at the town's main gate ready for battle!"

Again?

Especially Satou Kazuma-san and his companions, please head to the scene as soon as possible!"

"Huh?"

What did the broadcast just say?

* * *

I rushed to the main gate.

My lightly armored self led the way, Aqua and Megumin reached shortly after. Only the heavily armored Darkness was still on the way.

Ah. It's the Dullahan again. What does he want this time?

Unlike last time, he brought a small army of monsters with him.

That would be a problem, but we've got Megumin with us, so should be fine.

After it saw Megumin and me, he roared.

"Why didn't you come to the castle? You are inhuman!"

"Why would we?" I retorted, "And what're you so pissed for? We stopped with the explosions!"

""Stopped casting explosion?" You say it stopped? Stop lying to me! That Crimson Demon clan girl with a screw loose had never stopped coming!"

"Huh?"

After hearing him, I looked at Megumin besides me.

Megumin averted her eyes immediately.

Are you kidding me?

She wouldn't have been able to get home by herself, so she must have had an accomplice.

I looked to Aqua. She suddenly found incredible interest in the floor in front of her.

Are you fucking _kidding_ me?!

"You two are going to fucking _get_ it after this,"

"I am not so furious because of the explosion magic! Don't you all have the will to save your comrade? I might be this way now, but before I was executed because of unjust reasons and morphed into a monster, I was a honourable knight. In my eyes, that crusader who was cursed while protecting her companions was the classic model of a knight, but you abandoned her…!"

He stopped at this point. Darkness who had just arrived in her clanking armour quietly made her way to myside.

The Dullahan locked eyes with Darkness, who was blushing from the praise she had received.

"He-hello…"

I could _feel_ the 'What the fuck?' coming from him.

"It had been a week since Darkness was cursed but she is still alive, that shocked you, right?" Aqua asked rhetorically, dissolving into giggles, "The Dullahan definitely thought we would head to the castle to break the curse and was waiting for us in vain huh? He had no clue I broke the curse straight after he left, right? This is too funny!"

She couldn't contain herself and began laughing aloud.

"Hey, you there. If I get serious, I could kill all the adventurers in town and massacre the townsfolk. Don't think I'll keep letting you off! I am of the undead, and will never know fatigue. You bunch of rookies won't be able to stop me!" The Dullahan spoke, patients nearing its limit.

"I'm the one who has no reason to let you off! I won't let you escape this time! Acting so flashy for a mere undead, how arrogant! Disappear, 'Turn Undead'!"

A pale light stretched from Aqua's hand to the Dullahan.

"You think a general of the Demon King army wouldn't be prepared to fight Priests? Too bad. Including me, all the undead knights in this band had received the protection of the Demon King. We have very high resistance against holy spells-AHHHHH!" he cut off his monologue with a pained scream.

Black smoke rose from the parts of his armour hit by the spell, but he rose to his feet.

"Kazuma, Kazuma!" Aqua cried in a panic.

"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"

"This is strange; it's not working on him!"

"What do you mean? That looks like it hurt him a lot. He went 'AH' and everything," I retorted with my best imitation of the Dullahan's scream.

"Wait for me to finish!" he screeched "I am Beldia, one of the generals of the demon king army, Dullahan Beldia! With this armour that was enchanted by the demon king and my own powers, 'Turn Undead' from a normal priest won't work on me!" he said, finishing quietly with "It shouldn't work at all…"

He tilted the helmeted head he held under his arm.

Is that… like, a confused head-tilt?

I'm not sure it works so good when your head isn't connected to the rest of your body…

"Never mind. Because our diviner was raging on about a strong light descending near this town, I came here to investigate…"

Fuck, the Demon King noticed our arrival. We really needed to be careful.

"In the beginning, I thought it was too much of a hassle and considered destroying the entire town… but now?" he trailed off.

He made a stereotypical pouty 'hmmph' before saying, "You are not worthy enough for me to do it personally… Go, my brothers! Let them know what hell taste like!"

"Ah! That guy was definitely scared because Aqua's spell was unexpectedly effective! He is planning to use his minions to attack us while he escapes by himself to somewhere safe!" an adventurer shouted from behind us.

"Th-that's not it!" the Dullahan stammered, "This was my plan from the very beginning! The generals of the demon king army are not weaklings who escape on their own! You wouldn't fight the boss at the very start, of course you would need to defeat the underlings first, that's the tradition since ancient times," he said, making weak excuses.

"Wait a sec!" I called, and he paused, "Do you know Alchemy? Like, the proper Alchemy?"

He shook his head at my query, answering, "I'm not the general who knows Alchemy, no,"

"Hit him again,"

"'Sacred Turn Undead'!"

He screamed again.

"Wha- what should we do Kazuma! This is strange! My spell is not effective on him!"

"Don't worry; he just needs to be hurting,"

The Dullahan turned to his undead army.

"All the people in this town… Kill them all!" he screamed with pure malice.

They charged, but not randomly. It was with a purpose, a target.

Aqua.

They were running straight for her.

I grabbed her shoulder and pulled on her as I began running, screaming to her, "Go Aqua! Go! Fucking run!"

They immediately curved to follow us as we ran perpendicular to the city walls.

Aqua began properly running as she saw them beeline for us.

They weren't as fast as us fortunately, so we could keep ahead of them.

And I could use the age-old tactic.

Training.

I directed our path in a large loop around the Dullahan, his undead knight army following us diligently, until we were on the opposite side from the Dullahan, before I turned us 90 degrees and sprinted full speed straight towards the other adventurers.

"Megumin!" I screamed, when we made it past the Dullahan, skirting by him by 15 or so metres, "Big boom!"

"Right!"

"I am Megumin!" she exclaimed, "The elite wizard of the Crimson Magic clan, user of Explosion Magic! Demon King general Beldia! Watch my power closely! 'Explosion'!"

I quickly shielded Aqua, pulling her body in front of my own, as a cacophonous boom and pillar of fire erupted from near the Dullahan's position, right in the centre of the swarm of undead knights.

After a moment, the smoke and ash cleared enough to show that the 'minions' had all been wiped off the face of the planet.

The Dullahan, however, remained standing, seemingly untouched.

Well, fuck.

The Dullahan stood calming, cackling as he eyed Megumin.

"Interesting! That's interesting! To think my minions would be wiped out in a novice town like this! Alright, I will keep my promise!" he said, tone darkening, "I will take care of you all personally!"

And with that, he charged.

Adventurers around us bravely (read 'stupidly') charged to meet him.

"Hmm, if you all could defeat me through a stroke of luck, you would get a hefty sum of bounty… Come, novice adventurers dreaming of getting rich instantly. All of you come at me at together!" the Dullahan declared, unafraid.

"Hey, no matter how strong it is, it doesn't have eyes on its back! Surround it and attack!" cried an experienced looking adventurer.

Yikes, talk about obvious flags.

"Just buy more time! After hearing the emergency broadcast, the ace of this town will definitely rush over! If that Mitsurugi guy is here,"

Double yikes.

"the boss of the demon king army would be done for! Hey brothers, let's go together! Aim for its blind spot! All at the same time!"

Facing the man who shouted this as he attacked, Beldia tossed his head high into the air with one hand.

Wait, why did he do that? Ah, can he control his body separately?

I looked to the adventurers that had surrounded the Dullahan.

Well they're fucked I guess.

Beldia dodged all the attack with ease; he gripped its great sword in both hands, and in a blink of an eye, Beldia slashed at all the adventurers who attacked it, killing them all immediately.

A moment later, his head landed safely into his palm.

"Who's next?" he asked casually.

Aqua rushed forward to the bodies, likely trying to revive them.

I decided that the adventurers could use some help, so I called to them all with a basic plan.

"He's watching every move with his head in the air! We've got to get it off him!"

Looks of realisation spread across the adventurers, and more charged in to battle him, Darkness among them, now expressly aiming for his head.

He tossed it into the air once more, and immediately, the adventurers backed away.

The adventurers kept backing off, leaving only Darkness ready to fight.

I rushed forward as his head fell.

He couldn't fight me immediately, too concentrated on catching his head, and I managed a few swings at his sword arm.

"Darkness!" I commanded as he began his own swing, one that would undoubtedly spate my legs and torso.

Darkness appeared and stopped the blow with her own blade, and I aimed a thrust at his head.

He jumped back, dodging my thrust, and resetting his swords position.

We continued sparring back and forth, myself as offence, landing small blows occasionally while Darkness stopped his retaliations. We never could make any significant damage, his armour too strong, and he was quick enough to dodge any damage to his head.

The head not being attached made that easier for him.

I had an idea.

"'Steal'," I cast quietly, with no success.

We continued our three-man dance, though now I was spamming 'Steal' as often as I could.

The Dullahan paused as he jumped back once more.

"'Steal'?" He asked, incredulous, before letting out a bark of laughter, "A low level spell like that doesn't stand a chance against me!"

C'mon Lady Eris, I really need this right now.

If I pull this off, I swear I'll love you forever.

"'Steal'!"

A flash of light had me close my eyes for a moment, a weight settling in my hand.

I'd fucking done.

Fuck yes! Luck is the _shit_!

You are the _best_ Eris-sama!

The Dullahan's helmeted head sat on my palm.

"Huh?"

I quickly dropped my sword, and using water and earth magic in my palm, I wiped mud over his eyes.

"Ahh!"

He screamed in pain?

Why?

Is it…

Water?

I sprayed some more water at the Dullahan's face, and he screamed again.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" he screamed from my hand, his body convulsing, "Stop with the water already!"

I smiled viciously as another plan came to my mind.

"Aqua!" I screamed at the girl.

She looked at me in confusion, still tending to the bodies of dead adventurers.

I hurled the Dullahan's head at her.

"Soak him!" I screamed.

His screams of protest as he flew seemed to be the only other motivation for Aqua to do as I asked.

She caught his helmet with both hands and immediately began blasting him with torrents of water sprouting from her hands.

The general of the Demon King army named Beldia screamed beautifully as he died.

"Kazuma! Kazuma!" The adventurers cheered.

I picked up the sword I had dropped and raised it in triumph.

They roared in approval.

Hear that world?

Don't _fuck_ with me.

Or suffer the consequences.

* * *

**There we are!**

**All done, and on time too!**

**Big thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed, and/or reviewed! The story now sits at 21****st**** by follows! That's the top… er… 12, yeah, 12%!**

**And thank you Mdhunter, I had a very nice weekend, though in hindsight, it wasn't a good idea to leave all my writing to the weekdays when I'm busy lmao.**

**So I think I'm gonna try keeping it at one chapter a week, releasing on a Friday, with longer chapters. So maybe now that I'm gonna be writing on the weekends too, I can get heaps more done, and maybe eventually have a double release! Wouldn't you guys love that? I know I do when it happens with a story I'm following.**

**Oh! And Konosuba has a dub now! And it's actually really well done! Unlike a **_**lot**_** of other dubs. So now's a better time than ever to introduce your friends to Konosuba! And then to this fic!**

***laughs in idiot***

**And did you guys see anything from E3? Loved it this year, so much great stuff to look forward to.**

**If you're not familiar, E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) is **_**the**_** largest gaming convention in the world, where developers small and large has a chance to show off upcoming games they have.**

**And there was a ton of stuff this year that I look forward to.**

**Halo, Borderlands, Star Wars (by Respawn too!)…**

**And Cyberpunk 2077 (Henceforth referred to as 'CP77' cos it's way easier to type lmao)? God **_**damn.**_** They got **_**Keanu motherfucking Reeves **_**as a character, and to be the on-stage announcer.**

**Like, holy **_**fuck**_**!**

**I've been wanting this game since the first trailer, and then they had Keanu Reeves show up.**

**Instant fucking pre-order lmao.**

**And that 'heckler' lmao.**

**Anyway, all reviews are appreciated, and I'll see you guys next week!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 7,067**

**Story: 36,762**


	7. Chapter 7

The after the Demon King army general was defeated was a slow one.

Especially when compared to the two days prior; both of them being filled to the brim with action.

Though it is good to have breaks, I can't help but feel jittery. Ready for more combat. And with how valuable fighting has been, my level skyrocketing from 7 to 20 in just two days, I didn't want a break.

I was making my way to the Guild after being called there, likely to receive a reward for defeating the general, on behalf of my party.

The stench of alcohol was noticeable before I even reached the doors.

I opened the doors to find adventurers celebrating. Lots of them. Possibly all of them from the town.

"You're here, Kazuma!" Aqua called to me, incredibly drunk, "Go and collect your bounty already! Everyone already has! Though I spent a lot of mine on drinks already," she admitted with a smile.

I strode towards the front desk, dodging drunk adventurers as I went.

Darkness and Megumin were already there, and turned to me as I approached.

"You're here, Kazuma! Quick, collect your reward," Darkness said.

"I waited really long for you Kazuma. Listen to me, Darkness is being really petty, saying it's too early for me to be drinking," Megumin claimed.

"Wait! It has nothing to do with being petty, that's not what I meant!" Darkness said, defending herself.

"Well," I began "if you want to drink; I won't stop you," Megumin smiled at this, "but know that drinking alcohol before you're 18 severely limits your mental development," I said.

I leant down close and spoke to Megumin quietly, "And between you and me, Aqua _does_ drink a lot,"

She looked startled at this, so before she could question me, I approached the counter, Luna smiling from behind it.

"Ah Kazuma-san!" she began happily, "Here to collect your reward?"

"That I am, Luna. What do I get?"

"Then it's my pleasure to announce;" she began, her voice now loud enough for the whole Guild to hear, "that due to Kazuma-san's party, the Demon King army general was single-handedly defeated, with no casualties! The Guild recognises your achievement, and rewards you with the bounty prize of 300 million Eris!**(~3mil USD)**" she said as she presented me with a cheque.

I let out a low whistle.

"Well done Kazuma-san!" an adventurer cheered, "You saved us all!"

Many other adventurers chimed in their own support.

Well, before they get any bright ideas about me paying for them, "Alright everyone! A round of drinks, on me!"

If they weren't cheering before, they were now.

I turned back to Luna, "Thank you very much," I said once the crowd quietened, taking the cheque.

A cheque was great. It meant I didn't have to worry in the slightest of it being stolen, as now pretty much everyone knew who I was, and the only one who could cash it out, was sitting in front of me.

"No Kazuma-san," Luna said, award winning smile on her face, "Thank _you_,"

With those words spoken, she grabbed my collar and pulled me down into a short kiss.

The crowd cheered again, amusement now a part of the mix.

"Consider that my personal reward for you," Luna said after contact was broken.

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

Of all the things that could have happened, I can't say I expected that.

* * *

A couple of days had passed. Days I spent simply enjoying myself.

Well, that's not entirely true. I had put some work in too. Deciding what to do with my new fortune.

I had upgraded significantly, getting new armour, a high-quality bow, and new, _enchanted_ sword, specifically, a katana.

The enchantments were straight outta Minecraft; Unbreaking and Sharpness.

Though it wasn't unbreakable, just significantly more durable. Like, it'd make lead nearly as strong as steel.

Those purchases had me out of 10 mil, so I still had a vast fortune.

I also found myself with a shitload of Skill Points. My increase in levels giving me another 26 of them to work with.

I invested in a few things.

I got 'Snipe', a bow skill where accuracy was determined by luck, essentially automatically making me on par with an Olympian in terms of skill.

From an Assassin, a class one step above thief, I had learnt 'Concealment', a skill that hid you not only from a target's awareness, but also their senses. This skill also benefits from a lot of the upgrades I put into 'Hide', which is excellent. I also learnt 'Back-stab', which, as you would think, increases your damage when attacking from behind. This also stacked with 'Sneak Attack', so I could dish out stupid amounts of damage when I'm hidden. The third skill was 'Dash', a skill that let me travel 5 metres in milliseconds. Very useful for losing pursuers or getting behind an enemy, though with the drawback of being hard to control.

For my sword, I learnt 'Advanced Swordsmanship', and 'Iaido', and 'First Strike'. The first being an upgrade to my ability to use any sword, while 'Iaido', the art of rapid sword drawing, was a skill specific to the katana, and increased the damage substantially. Iaido is a martial art from Earth. It involved smoothly and swiftly drawing one's sword, striking an opponent, cleaning the blood from it, and finally resheathing the blade.

And 'First Strike'. Once I saw it, I knew I needed it. 'Double the damage of your first strike in an engagement'. This, combined with 'Iaido', 'Sneak Attack', and 'Back-stab' meant that I'd probably be able to one-shot enemies that are much, _much_ stronger than I am.

It was perfect to power-level.

With magic, the most important was; 'Elemental Manipulation'. A High tier spell, costing a massive 10 points, that allowed me to control the major elements independent of my body. All of the intermediate spells had been really simple attacks with the elements, like 'Fireball', spells that with my new skill, I could easily recreate.

I had spent the last couple of days seeing what new combinations became available. I could quickly generate, and shoot spikes of ice with pressurised bursts of wind, and make the afore mentioned fireballs. But my pride sat in something else.

A frag grenade.

Not a real one obviously, as I couldn't yet make explosives, but one that was still significantly powerful.

With my new-found manipulation, I could meld the dirt and sand I created together into a stone. A stone I could shape into a sharp, needle-esque shape. I combined a large amount of the stone needles with ice into a ball, which I filled with very high-pressure, highly combustible air and some liquor. I would shove a small twig in there with the stone needles, light it, then throw.

The resulting detonation, which I added to from a distance, was powerful enough to shoot the stone needles 5 centimetres **(2 inches)** into solid wood, in every direction.

It took me a full minute to make one, unfortunately, so I'd have to prepare them before entering combat.

But I was still damn please with myself about them.

I had also developed a liking for water and ice attacks. Unfortunately, I couldn't generate ice from a distance, but so long as I touch the water, I could move and expand the ice wherever I saw fit. My favourite attack was to have water come up from the floor in a tendril, continuously accelerating as it approached me from behind. It would pass just close enough to my hand to come into contact, where I would freeze the tip into a sharp point, and launch it into my target, at a speed I estimated approached 20 metres per second **(72kmph or 45mph)**.

It was deadly. And also looked incredibly badass, which was great, in my own, incredibly unbiased opinion.

I had also learnt some 'Illusion' class spells. Things like 'Muffle', to make my footfalls silent, were very important in my eyes.

I was becoming powerful, and quickly.

But now, I wasn't sure where to go next.

I was contemplating staging the death of that Kyouya dirtbag, but it was too much a risk of being found out, before Aqua came to me with a request.

She wanted to take a quest, because she'd already managed to use up all her spending money, and wanted to earn more.

A quest, she had decided, was the best choice.

The first snow had fallen yesterday, and she came to me with a quest to hunt snow sprites.

Weak little monsters that yielded 100,000 Eris per confirmed kill.

It was said that each death brings spring a half day earlier, and is widely believed, which is the reasoning behind the high Bounty.

I was not, however, informed of the Shogun Warrior that spawns to seek vengeance on his fallen brethren.

* * *

"Where is your armour?" I asked, incredulous.

"It's still being repaired after fighting the general," Darkness answered.

"And after having it destroyed _twice_, you didn't think it was a smart idea to maybe, I don't know, buy a _spare_?"

"Don't worry, it's fine, the snow sprites won't attack us. It is a bit cold, but this is like a cold endurance contest and feels nice,"

"Oh my _fucking _god. And what's with all the bottles Aqua?" I asked as I turned away from the masochist.

Maybe the hot-headed perv was just hot-blooded in general.

"I'm gonna catch some! Then I can put 'em in a box to use like a fridge!" she said, seemingly pleased with her idea.

And it was a good one.

"Smart," I complemented, to which she preened, "Think I can have some?"

"'Course! We're in this together, so it's fine to share our stuff,"

Nice. Her attitude towards me is going well. And even if she hadn't given one to me, I would've just stolen it.

We arrived in a small field where the sprite presence was much more concentrated and began hunting them.

I cast a wide area 'Fury'; an illusion spell that makes creatures attack a target without fear for themselves.

I set the target as myself, and let the little snowball-like enemies charge at me, before swing my sword lazily back and forth, killing a couple dozen is just a second.

We worked quickly, killing many in just a few minutes. And by 'we' I mean; Megumin and I. Darkness maybe got three that she hit by mistake, and though Aqua caught nearly a dozen with an insect net, but it wasn't comparable to the near fifty Megumin and I had collectively.

And then it appeared.

A samurai in frozen white armour stood before us.

It was powerful, I could tell just looking at it.

"This is why people don't take quests in the winter! The Winter Shogun shows up if to many snow sprites die!" Aqua whispered to me.

"Can we kill it?" I asked her, returning my sword to my sheath to 'end' the previous engagement and get 'First Strike' back.

"W-what? No! Nobody's ever killed it!" she replied in a panic.

Hmm.

With some of my skill points, I had gotten an upgrade for 'Detect Enemy' in where I would have an estimate of how strong the enemy was, and with it I could see that even all four of us attacking it as we normally fight, we wouldn't stand a chance.

But how we normally fight isn't how we fight bosses.

We've got a few extra cards up our sleeves.

"We're fighting," I told my companions, which received determined nods.

"Darkness! Megumin! Distract it!" I called.

Megumin hit the Shogun right in the face with a 'Detonate' as Darkness rushed at it, sword ready.

"Aqua! Buff me!"

"R-right!"

Her magic washed over me, dramatically increasing my physical abilities.

I quickly cast and activated as many spells and skills as I had available that would hide me.

I made a 'Dash' to get behind the Shogun as it made its first move.

It swung its katana, at Darkness' great sword.

The sword that had easily withstood the blows of the Demon general shattered immediately.

I took this opportunity to strike, stacking as many of my buffs and skills as I could to increase the damage.

'Back-stab', 'Sneak Attack', 'Iaido' and 'First Strike' all came together for a single devastating blow.

I had aimed for its extended sword arm, and my blade connected with the centre of its bicep.

My sword nearly stopped in its tracks as soon as it made contact with the creature's armour, but I kept pushing. I put everything into the blow, and it cut in, carving through but being stopped once more on the other side of its armour, leaving my arms in tremendous pain.

I pushed more, but my weapon cracked, and broke, leaving me with just the hilt.

Though my weapon didn't make it, my attack was a success. The Shogun's arm fell, no part of the armour keeping his severed limb connected.

Fuck me, that sword was brand new too. At least I managed to 'disarm' him.

Ha.

The Shogun whipped around to face me faster than I thought possible, and went to cut me down using an arm that was no longer there.

I used its confusion to 'Dash' to Darkness, who had backpedalled once her weapon was destroyed, and pushed her down onto her back.

"Megumin! Explosion! Now!" I screamed.

"B-but-" she stuttered. We were much too close to it for her to use her 'Explosion' safely, only about 15 metres for the Shogun, and I knew it. I just had to hope I could keep us safe with my magic.

"DO IT!"

"Come forth in your destructive glory," she chanted, "Show thy power in smoke and flame! Rend this world, 'Explosion'!"

As always, the flash came first. Weaker than what I had seen her capable of, likely because of the shorter chant time.

I pushed on my mana as hard as I was physically capable, bending the world around us to my will.

The snow and earth stirred, shaping into a wave pointing our way, and compacting together until it became a brown stained wall of ice. The air gathered and hardened, making a layer of condensed air to act as a shield from the shockwave.

And it did, to some degree. Even with everything I put into it, the shockwave broke through and struck me, slamming my organs like I was being kicked full force from the inside.

With the shockwave passed, I focused on the fire, pushing it, bending it, turning it, anywhere but towards us.

The incredible power of Megumin's spell finished quickly, if not nearly as quickly as it had appeared.

I let it all go, and collapsed to my knees with an incredible exhaustion.

_Fuck_.

I had completely used up my mana before I had even started working on the fire.

And my body was deciding to remind me of how it felt to use my life source as a fuel for magic.

I fell further to my hands, another flair of agony shooting through my arms, and vomited, staining the snow with the newly made crimson content of my stomach.

"K-kazuma!" Darkness yelled as she got up from the snow, fear and concern controlling her voice.

"Aqua! You need to help Kazuma!"

Her voice was distorted, like listening from underwater.

Fuck me, everything hurt so much.

Even though it felt like my eyes were open, things were still going dark.

* * *

And then it was all gone.

My head cleared, my arms were fine, things were in focus, and my hearing;

"Ah! Kazuma-san,"

Was perfectly fine.

I sat on a non-descript wooden chair.

It was actually really odd. Even looking straight at it, I couldn't discern any defining features about it other than that it was wood, and it was a chair.

Anyway, this wasn't my first rodeo, I recognised the infinite black void and indescribably wooden chair.

I was back in the afterlife.

And the voice was;

"Eris-sama. Hello again,"

She looked a lot more regal than when I saw her as Chris.

She wore a loose white dress with a deep blue overcoat. The strange horizontal lock of hair remained, mocking gravity with its very existence.

Wait, why are her tits bigger?

She hummed to herself, disappointed.

"I had hoped Kazuma-san had forgotten who I was. How did you discover me anyway?" she asked, mock-annoyed.

Are they padded?

"A few ways," I began, "But first of all, what's with…" I trailed off, making a cupping motion over my chest.

Her face lit up like a traffic light, almost instantly taking on a bright red colouration as she spluttered, attempting to provide a reasonable explanation.

I snickered, then laughed fully as she spoke, it being 90% 'um's and 'er's.

"Relax," I said, trying to control myself, "You don't need to answer that,"

She finally removed her eyes from the floor and gave me a thankful look.

"And just so you know… I do prefer my women on the smaller side," I said, finishing with a wink.

"H-huh?! W-w-what a-are you s-saying?!"

I laughed, hard, nearly falling off my chair.

She was just _too_ cute.

"I'm sorry," I wheezed, "it's just…" I trailed off, trying to control myself, "Your reaction is just so…" another snicker, "_adorable_,"

She glared at me, though most of the heat she probably wanted to put into it was still stuck on her face.

"Anyway, I figured out who you were with three things. Major one was; I already knew what a Divine Aura felt like," a look of realisation went across her face, "Second was your name. Chris is a Western name, but there _is_ no 'Western' in that world. Plus, you didn't change it an awful lot from your real name. Finally; your face is _literally_ on _every_ coin in the world,"

"Oh, er, right," she said.

"Back to the real topic," I began, turning serious, "I'm dead again,"

"Huh? Er, yes, right," she cleared her throat, "Kazuma-san, unfortunately, you have died once more. You have two options now; go to Heaven, or be reincarnated in either this world, our your own. Unfortunately, you will not be able to return to the world you were once in-"

"What about a resurrection?" I asked, cutting her off.

"Um, well, because your body has already died, and is from a different world, the mana cost to resurrect you would be unfathomably high. Even the greatest magician in the world wouldn't have enough to resurrect you,"

Literally a moment after she finished speaking, another voice began.

"Kazuma-san! You need to come back! It's too early for you to die!"

It was Aqua. Her voice urgent and scared. She had been crying, it sounded like.

Eris looked speechless.

"Think a goddess could do it?"

"A-Aqua-senpai? Is that you?"

"Eris?" Aqua asked, incredulous, "What are _you_ doing there? Kazuma, don't listen to this woman! She pads her boobs to seduce people into her following!"

"W-what?"

"Don't worry Aqua, I'm aware,"

"I d-don't!"

"you can bring me back,"

A white door smoothly slid out from the within floor, and I stood and approached it.

"See you 'round, Chris-chan," I said with a smile as I grabbed the doorknob.

"G-goodbye, Kazuma-san," she replied, face still red, as it had never had time to return to its original colouration.

"Try not to up here again, okay?" she said with a bright smile.

"Will do," I finished, opening the door and stepping through into the white void that lay on the other side.

* * *

Fuck, I forgot how damn cold it was.

My head, however, was on a soft, elastic, and warm material.

Oh? A lap pillow? Nice.

I slowly opened my eyes from my prone position on the cold snow, to see two terrified faces, belonging to Darkness and Megumin, and a less concerned, slightly smug Aqua, all huddled close over my body.

"Kazuma!" they cried as they realised my newfound consciousness, dropping down onto me and holding me tightly, as I enjoyed the feeling of Aqua's creamy thighs supporting my head.

"I'm sorry Kazuma!" Megumin wept.

Right. She _was_ the one to kill me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she cried, her arms moving around my neck.

Well, this'll be excellent for guilt tripping.

I extracted my right arm from under Darkness and wrapped it around her slim shoulders, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"It's alright," I whispered to her, "I'm fine; see?"

"I… I _killed_ you," she said with disgust. Disgust aim solely at herself.

"You didn't. It's okay. It was me who told you to do it, and I'm fine now," I said in an attempt to comfort her, holding her tighter, "Everything's okay Megumin, it's alright,"

She quietened, whimpers and sobs turning slowly turning into sniffling.

"Thanks for the res Aqua, and _fuck_, remind me to never get on _your_ bad side Megumin,"

Megumin giggled quietly.

There we are.

God, her bitching had been getting annoying.

I slowly pushed myself up to a sitting position, moving my right arm around the waist of Megumin, who was still firmly attached to my chest.

"So, what kinda bounty did that dude have? Musta been pretty big if he'd been stopping adventurers from taking quests every winter,"

Aqua nodded.

"He had a bounty of 200 million,"

Nice.

I'd probably levelled a good bit too.

I dug into my pocket to retrieve my Adventurer's Card.

Level 27

Nice, another 14 skill points.

With all the skills I had gotten, I had been back at zero, so it was nice to have some spare again.

I needed some recovery stuff. And boosts for my magic and defence. I wasn't particularly interested in a repeat of what just happened.

I went to stand, but a certain young woman was making it difficult.

"You gonna let go?"

At a headshake from her, and an eyeroll from me, I gestured at Aqua and Darkness with my arms, asking for a helping hand.

With their help, I got to my feet, Megumin still attached to my chest.

"At least go on my back you little gremlin!"

* * *

We strode into the Guild hall.

Megumin was on her feet again, thankfully, after having 'regained her strength', and there was 'nothing else, okay?!'

I walked to the front desk, where Luna was working with my party in tow.

She looked up as we approached.

"Afternoon. I'd like to turn in our quest, and another bounty,"

Her eyes widened, "Another one? For what?"

"The Winter Shogun,"

I lifter the severed arm of the Shogun for her to see.

Fortunately, the arm I had removed, along with the sword in its grasp, had survived Megumin's attack.

The rest of the body wasn't so lucky.

"You… I jus- How did… What?!"

"We killed the Winter Shogun. I believe there's a bounty out for it, yes?"

"Uh… Yes, there is. I'll have to verify the defeat of it from your adventurer cards," Luna said.

"Megumin?"

She presented her card to Luna, who began examining it.

"Um, Megumin-san has defeated 29 snow sprites, but she was not the one to land the killing blow on the Shogun,"

Really?

But who else would have-

Ah, right.

I did put a lot into keeping the fire away.

"Try mine," I said as I fished it out and handed it to her.

After a moment, she confirmed my suspicion.

"Y-yes, Kazuma-san is recognised as having defeated the Winter Shogun, as well as 23 snow sprites. I-I will begin writing the cheques for the bounty. If you two," she said, gesturing at Aqua and Darkness, "would present your cards, I will collect your quest rewards too,"

127,200,000 Eris, as the girls decided that dying netted me more than half the bounty. Not bad for a day's work.

And I wouldn't have to spend it all on getting a new sword either.

I looked at the Shogun's pale katana, attached to my hip with a simple strap.

It was longer than my previous weapon, nearly as long as my legs were, a bit over 75 centimetres **(30 inches)**, yet slightly lighter than my last sword was.

I honestly liked it. The extra reach it gave me was excellent, and without becoming more unwieldy, thanks to its decreased weight.

It had no sheathe and glimmered softly in the filtered sunlight. And though it was coloured brightly, it gave a sense of darkness, of foreboding.

It was a blade that had taken countless lives.

And now it was mine.

Spoils of War for the win baby!

* * *

"I don't know why they let you tag along, dead-weight,"

The Guild hall went dead silent.

"Would you be kind as to repeat that?" I asked the man, tone dangerously dark.

"I can say it any number of times. You mentioned a luggage carrying quest? In a party full of high tier Jobs, can't you take on higher quest? You're the dead weight holding them back, aren't you?" he accused, his party mates laughing with him, while some of the wiser members of the guild attempted to warn him.

"Ahh… I see," I said with a voice of false realisation, "You're interested in witnessing the first-person perspective of an execution," I said as I stood.

"Here you go then,"

All that was heard among those in the guild was the gentle click of my sword full sheathing.

The only thing seen was the violent shivering of the man in front of me.

He swallowed once, and a stream of blood trickled down from his throat, originating from a hair-thin, 10-centimetre long, horizontal cut along his throat, just below his Adam's apple.

A single, perfectly precise strike, completed in milliseconds.

"Just so you know; that 'Carry Quest'? We're escorting a Royal Transport, carrying 200 million Eris. 200 million in bounty payments, for _yours truly_. 200 million, my party and I earnt after we single-handedly defeated the _Winter Shogun_," I carefully explained to the terrified man.

"Of my party, _I_ have the highest wealth, _I_ have the most versatile skill set, and _I_ have the highest Level. If you think that _I_, or someone else in _my_ party doesn't belong there," I leant in so we were only centimetres apart, "You can take that up with _me_,"

I leant back.

"Do you understand?"

A terrified nod.

"Good," I finished, finally releasing the hilt of my sword and retaking my seat.

I returned to my meal, and finished it, uninterrupted.

* * *

Another week in this strange fantasy world passed.

A few things happened aside from my normal training and experimentation.

First, I got bored of Shiro, so I broke it off with her, but still left myself the option of returning if I felt the desire to, and second, I met up with Chris again.

It was more of a social meet than anything, though I did learn a couple new thief skills too. She complained a bit about how she had been saddled with Aqua's duties, and I rented about how Luck was the most powerful stat.

She seemed very pleased with that, judging by the recent increase in my luck stat.

Eris-sama rewards her favourites, it seems.

But now, I wanted more money to spend. The escort mission wasn't for another while yet, so I was running low on funds that I could use freely.

"Let's go to a dungeon,"

"No thanks," replied Megumin immediately, attempting to escape.

I caught her sleeve, "And where do you think you're going?"

"No! I don't wanna go into a dungeon! I won't be able to use 'Explosion' and I'll barely get to use 'Detonate' either. The only thing I'd be able to do is carry luggage! Don't make me useless!"

I gave her a flat look.

"I believe your exact words were; 'I am willing to carry the luggage or anything when exploring dungeons! Please don't throw me away!'"

She looked startled at having her words returned to her.

"I do keep track of promises like that Megumin. You can't get out of this,"

At seeing her defeated face, I comforted her, "Don't worry, you only need to come to the entrance, I'll take it from there,"

"Huh? You sure you don't want me down there?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I've got it covered,"

"Wait, you're going solo? How are you-"

"I've got it covered, don't worry. I got the 'Detect-' and 'Disarm Traps' skills, and all my stealth skills, so I'll be fine,"

The skills were dependant on both Luck and Agility.

My Luck was already _god _(ha) tier, and my Agility has increased pretty significantly from using 'Dash' frequently.

I wonder if it was even possible for Eris to fail a 'Stat Check' for anything? With probably as close to perfect luck as you could get, I couldn't imagine it.

I looked at Darkness, who was polishing her newly returned and repaired armour enthusiastically.

"Erm, please wait a while more. My great sword broke during the fight with the Winter Shogun. I've ordered a new sword, but it will take some time to finish. I can't be considered a combatant right now."

"You were never a real combatant, so that's not a problem,"

She choked, but I ignored her, instead turning back to Megumin.

"I'd like to head off in about an hour or so, so grab what you want to get ready please,"

An hour and twenty minutes later, the four of us were on our journey towards the dungeon.

Another hour from then, and we arrived.

A solidly built cabin lay on the side of the well beaten path, a hand painted sign next to the door read 'Refuge'.

Just behind the cabin lay an abyss.

A cave that hit a darkness so absolute, that nothing could been seen further than a metre within.

We had arrived at Keele's Dungeon.

It is said that a long time ago, there was a genius Arch Wizard named Keele who fell in love with the daughter of a noble clan.

The wizard who devoted his whole life to the mystic arts and had had no interest in love, fell for the woman with his first glance, during a stroll through the streets.

Of course, this love couldn't bear fruit.

After all, the difference in status decided many things in this world.

Including love.

The wizard who understood this well, worked even harder in his magic training and research in order to forget his aching heart.

As the years went by, he eventually became the most powerful magic user in the nation.

He didn't hold back in his gifts, bringing happiness to the country through his use of spells, and was praised by all.

And so, the wizard was invited into the King's castle, to a banquet that was held in his honour.

The King wanted to reward the wizard, and was willing to fulfil one wish of the wizard, without restriction.

The wizard said he had a wish that would never be fulfilled.

What the arch wizard Keele wished for, no one knew.

It's only known that after this, the Arch Wizard kidnapped the daughter of the noble clan, built an incredibly dangerous dungeon, and was never seen again.

The dungeon is quite simple, and well explored, though through its magic nature, it kept generating both monsters, and hidden wealth, attracting both beginner and experienced adventurers alike.

"Alright," I said as I turned to my party-mates, "I'm going alone from here. Shouldn't take me long, I'm just doing some reconnaissance, so I should be back in an hour or two,"

"Are you really going solo? It's preposterous to challenge a dungeon by yourself," Darkness argued.

I rolled my eyes, "You have no weapon, and your clanky armour would attract every monster in the dungeon. She," I pointed at Megumin, "can't attack in most circumstances without alerting every monster in a 3 click radius, and she," I shifted my finger to Aqua, "is a walking undead-magnet. I stand a much better chance going solo, thank-you-very-much,"

They begrudgingly agreed and I headed for the dungeon.

Before I entered, I used some 'Illusion' magic to give myself night-vision.

God damn 'Illusion' is the _shit_.

Why fight your enemies when you could trick them into fighting each other?

I stepped in. The previously infinite black of the cave now appearing as light as day.

I descended the stair that had been placed in the past by previous adventurers slowly and cautiously. It had been some time since it had previously been explored, and so new traps had almost surely been generated.

There! A ping going off in my head similar to 'Detect Enemy'. A tripwire, thin as spider silk lay just above the step after next.

I stepped over it, wary for follow-up traps. It's what I'd do, so I was cautious of the possibility. Lure someone into a false -sense of security by placing a much more obvious, though no less deadly trap, and following it immediately with a much more thoroughly hidden one.

I was pleased to find nothing. If I was to be going up against someone like myself, I'm none too certain I could win.

After a few more minutes traversing the stairs, I reached the bottom.

Oh. A decaying corpse.

Sucks to be you, I guess.

A hint of movement had my eyes snap back to it.

Is it becoming an undead, maybe?

It stirred more, so I stepped up, unsheathed my sword, and swiftly drove it through its head.

I resheathed my sword and began my exploration.

I made sure to explore every path as I went, not willing to leave something behind when enemies could be hidden within.

I came across some small monsters occasionally.

Green and humanoid, like goblins, but smaller.

Gremlins, if memory serves me correctly.

Very weak, and able to spawn in areas of even slightly above average magical concentration. They were very limited in intelligence, and were rarely found in groups larger than 3. No useful drops and provided a piddling of experience.

The very definition of a Trash Mob.

I dispatched them quickly, and moved on.

I was about 30 minutes into my exploration when I heard a great, deep rumbling.

From behind… and above?

The stairs?

Better to keep clear for a while then. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I continued for a while longer, before I came across a room with a chest sitting in the centre.

Very convenient.

Even if not for my 'Detect Enemy' skill, I wouldn't have trusted it.

Almost definitely a Mimic.

I grabbed a small rock from the floor and tossed it near the chest.

Immediately, the 'chest' moved. It opened, revealing rows of vicious teeth, and lunged at the rock I tossed, pulling it off the ground and into its mouth.

Called it.

I activated my stealth skills, including my 'Chameleon' illusion spell, to make myself essentially vanish from all forms of perception.

I crept behind the Mimic, which had returned to its original state, and attacked it.

With all the skills I had to increase the damage when I first attacked, I killed it instantaneously.

From the, admittedly oversized, cut I had made, out spilled some jewellery.

How had it survived? Even the rock that had just been consumed was nowhere to be seen, and yet these rings and necklace were perfectly intact after who knows how long?

Wait, maybe…

I picked them up, slowly placing one of the rings, a simple silver band, on my finger.

I felt a surge of heat from within.

Not painful, but present.

Going with my intuition, I called forth my magic and summoned a flame, and instead of a small, hand sized flame, I was met with an inferno.

They were enchanted.

I quickly off the ring.

Though it may be powerful, I didn't know exactly what effects any of these items had. Though they could be positive, it could also be incredible negative, and I wasn't willing to take a chance like that without having them appraised first.

I placed them in the coin-pouch I had at my waist and continued my exploration.

* * *

I was coming across a strangely large amount of undead. They seemed to wander in every room and hall now, and all heading in my direction. It concerned me, because they shouldn't normally be able to spawn in such quantities.

Something had to be causing it.

That's when I heard it. An awful, terrible sound.

"Kazuma-! Where are you-?" Aqua called.

From within the dungeon.

Stupid fucking whore had followed me.

Fucking undead magnet here is why there's so many of these stupid zombies.

I couldn't help the growl that escaped me when I reached my conclusion.

I slipped into 'Incognito' (what I was now calling all my sneak related spells and skills), and moved quickly towards her voice.

"Kazuma-!" she yelled again.

I dropped my skills, now standing behind her.

"Yes, I'm Kazuma," I answered.

She screamed in shock, jumping half a metre into the air.

"D-don't sneak up on me like that!" she demanded upon seeing me.

"Why are you here Aqua?"

"Um, well, I thought that, because I'm a goddess and all, I could help you out! But then near the bottom of the stairs, all these rocks started falling from the ceiling! I ran all the way to the bottom, but the rocks had closed off the path, so I couldn't get back out again!"

"You set off the trap, and got us both stuck in here,"

"Yeah! So then I decided that 'I might as well find you' so that you could get us out, and I could help you out!"

My gaze was steadily becoming darker.

"S-so it's really a win-win, right?"

"You're a fucking idiot,"

She looked a little startled at the harsh response.

"You know there was a _reason _I didn't want you down here, right?" I asked, voice rising, "It's _because_ you fuck everything up!" I yelled at her.

Cool, nice and harsh, and there are the tears, perfect.

I pulled up a face of shock.

"No Aqua, I didn't mean that! I'm sorry Aqua..." I said with a regretful tone.

"No," she said, crying softly, "Your right. All I do is mess stuff up for you…"

"No Aqua," I said.

Alright, some contact support.

I stepped up to Aqua, moving my arms around her and holding her tight.

"You're not useless. You defeated the Dullahan just a week ago remember? You returned me from the dead just a couple days later. Don't listen to me… I was angry and… it wasn't right for me to take it out on you,"

I spent a few more minutes holding her before she responded.

"Thank you Kazuma. For _everything_,"

I squeezed her once more, before slowly letting her go.

"Anytime Aqua, anytime. Let's keep going,"

She nodded and grabbed on to my hand, following along behind me.

Just keep on building it. Not too long and she won't be able to live at all without being beside me.

"There's undead here," Aqua warned.

Hmm, I'd already killed everything.

"I've already taken them out. You say there's more?"

She nodded, "Yeah, definitely. Just past that wall,"

What could it be?

We rounded the corner, and there sat a simple bed, table and chair.

A not quite man sat on the bed.

It was a completely skeletal body.

"Morning," it, _he_ said, "first time we met. I don't know what time it is outside, should I say 'good evening' instead?"

He paused, and then continued after a moment's reflection, "I am Keele, creator of this dungeon. I kidnapped the daughter of a noble; an evil wizard,"

He went into his backstory, but to be honest, I didn't really care, so I didn't listen.

I tried not to yawn as his story finished and he gestured at another skeleton that lay in the bed.

"And so, I have a request for that lady over there," Keele said, "Could you send me to the other world? This lady should have the power to do so,"

"Oh," I finally contributed, "Could you direct us out before she does? The front door kinda collapsed,"

"Of course," he said.

He waved his hand and the wall behind his split apart, revealing another set of stairs.

Nice.

I gestured to Aqua to continue, and she began casting.

"Aqua spoke to Keele a little about some random shit that I tuned out, and then finally cast.

"'Sacred turn undead'!"

"Nice, let's head back up,"

Aqua nodded, a bittersweet smile in place.

Seems that Aqua, a goddess, connected with an Undead.

How ironic.

Though I kinda expected something of actual interest to happen.

Eh, whatever, I got some magic jewellery, so I'm happy, and a bunch of that dead dude's wealth.

What a weird day.

* * *

**Sorry I'm like half a day late!**

**I had it all ready to complete yesterday, but I ended up being out all day, so I couldn't do any writing.**

**So when I was writing the second little meet-up with Eris, I thought of 'Grim Slayer Reaper' review, so I thought I might put it in as a little 'thanks'.**

**Hope you like it!**

**So I decided to kinda skip the part where Dust and Kazuma switch places, because how they meet, and how Kazuma reacts (in canon) just doesn't make sense for this story, so sorry if you were looking forward to that, but I didn't think it would really work.**

**Also, I was searching for some more music, when I thought of an artist that I'd listened to other music from, called Haywyre. Specifically, I was looking to see if I could find just the piano part of his song 'Insight', but I instead found his doing a live performance of it! It was super great! Then I found another song, which is just incredible. A remix of Michael Jackson's 'Smooth Criminal'. I highly recommend listening to it. His playing is exceptional.**

**Anyway, that's all for this chapter. See you all next time!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic.**

**P.S. To James-Kit.**

**If you happen to see this, my update schedule (as of last week) is a 6-8k chapter every week, on Fridays.**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,810**

**Story: 43,572**


	8. Chapter 8

"Listen Aqua. No attacking, alright? At least, not right away,"

She glanced at me with confusion as we reached the shopfront.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, not with malice, but genuine lack of understanding.

"You'll see," I answered, opening the door and stepping inside.

A bell above the door tinkled lightly, and a female voice from further into the shop spoke.

"One moment please!"

"Lich!" Aqua screamed as the owner of the voice, Wiz, stepped into view.

Wiz flinched as Aqua began to advance, though I stopped her with a shake of my head.

"Umm… H-how can I h-help you today?" Wiz stuttered.

"Hello again Wiz. I've come for a visit," I said coolly, strolling over to a shelf to observe the contents.

It was filled with bottles, each filled with solutions of varying colour.

I carefully lifted once from its position to get a closer look.

"Ah, that will explode with strong impact, so please be careful,"

An impact grenade?

"How powerful is it?"

"Roughly the same as the lowest spell in the 'Detonation' spell series; 'Detonate',"

Pretty good then. Not fantastic, especially with most of the force being directed into the ground where it lands, but good none the less.

I placed it back, with perhaps an excessive amount of care, and picked up another.

"And this one?" I asked.

"Ah, that one will explode if you open the cap," she responded.

Why the fuck would you want that? In what circumstances would you want what you're holding to explode in your hands?

I replaced it, and this time just pointed at another, Wiz having come close enough to see which I was referring to.

"This one?" I asked pointing at another bottle with a solution that looked like liquid mercury.

"It will explode when it touches water,"

An Alkali metal?

"Al-ka-li?"

Woops, did I say that aloud?

"Don't worry about it, I'm just thinking out loud. Do you sell things that _don't_ explode, by any chance?" I teased.

"O-of course I do! You're just at the rack with _all_ of the explosive things!" she explained.

I laughed quietly.

"Well, actually, that's not really why I'm here. When we first met, you said you'd help he defeat the Demon King," I said.

She opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off.

"Don't worry; I don't plan to fight him right now. What I wanted from you is; to be taught some of your Lich skills,"

"Hey, what are you thinking Kazuma?" Aqua exclaimed, "The skills of a lich? You say you want to learn a Lich's skills!? The skills of a lich are all evil! It would be bad if you learned such skills!" she claimed, before leaning in closer and whispering, though loud enough for Wiz to hear, "Liches are something like the relative of slugs that like dark and wet places," she finished, flaring her Holy Aura.

"How… How mean!" Wiz said, voice catching with the pulse of Aqua's aura.

"Back to the point," I interjected, "what skills can I learn from you Wiz?"

She thought for a moment, then spoke.

"I would recommend 'Drain Touch' the most. It's a lower tier spell that lets you absorb health and mana when in contact with a target. You can also redistribute the absorbed mana and health, or use your own,"

That's exactly what I need. Offense and support rolled into one. I'd probably be able to fulfil that promise to Megumin to have her cast two 'Explosion's in a day.

I nodded, "That would be great," I said.

"Um, I'll need a target to demonstrate on,"

I wonder if it's painful.

"Here," I said, stepping forward and presenting my hand.

"Thank you. 'Drain Touch'!"

It wasn't painful. Uncomfortable, sure, but not painful.

She stopped her skill after just a moment and I pulled out my Adventurer's Card.

I immediately learnt the new skill for 4 of my 10 remaining skill points, and 'Drain Touch' was added to my ever-expanding arsenal.

I was about to ask what other skills she had, when the door opened rapidly, the bell ringing loudly.

"Pardon my intrusion," the old man who just entered began, "is Ms. Wiz here? I need some help with evil spirits,"

"Evil spirits?" Aqua and Wiz asked simultaneously.

"Yes," the man clarified, "I'm a real estate agent, but evil spirits keep appearing in one of my houses. No matter how or who exorcizes it, they always come back! I just want to get rid of the house! It's starting to _cost_ me to keep it clear, let alone _sell_ it!"

I had a strange feeling and glanced at Aqua.

Is this what empathy is like?

'Cos I feel like I know what this guy is feeling right now.

He seemed mistake my confusion as something directed at him.

"Before Ms Wiz set up shop here," he explained, "she was a powerful mage. Whenever the people in town run into any difficulty, they would seek Ms. Wiz for aid. And Ms. Wiz seems to be the expert on handling undead monsters. That's why I am here asking for her help,"

She _is _essentially a Queen of the Undead, so that's not particularly surprising.

"But… Ms Wiz seems unwell today. Your face had always been pale, but it's even more so today. How should I put it, it feels… as if you could disappear at any moment…"

I glared at Aqua, who looked away sheepishly.

I _wonder_ why that is.

"No problems, leave it to me. We just need to settle the evil spirits in town, right?" Wiz asked.

"Ah, no! I wasn't planning on troubling Ms Wiz to exorcise _all_ the evil spirits in town… just the mansion would be enough."

"Ah, the mansion. I see…"

'The mansion' huh?

Wiz made to stand but collapsed back to her seat.

"Ah! W-Wiz-san! Forget it if you are not feeling well, please don't push yourself!"

The man moved quickly to help her.

"We can help," I spoke up, "We've got ourselves the Arch Priest who defeated the Demon Army general here, after all," I said, gesturing to Aqua.

The man face lit up with recognition and hope, and he quickly accepted my offer.

* * *

"So this is the mansion,"

It was a mansion in the suburbs.

According to that man, the number of rooms were few for a mansion, yet it was a truly massive building.

When you hear 'mansion', you think 'big house'. This thing was more like 'small school'.

It was several times the size of any mansion you'd be able to find in Japan.

"Not bad! This place is great! This is where someone of my status should be staying in!" Aqua exclaimed joyously, her belongings in her arms.

"Oi! The Inn isn't bad, thank you. It's not like we had to sleep in the stables, so I don't get why you ever complained," I countered.

Megumin giggled from behind us, with Darkness beside her, each carrying their own things, "You two bicker like an old married couple,"

Aqua blushed and hurried to deny it.

"A-as if! If he were my husband, I'd poison his drink!" she claimed.

"If she were my wife, I'd drink it," I responded immediately.

Megumin lost it, tripping over her own feet, laughing uncontrollably, while Darkness tried very hard to stifle her own laughter.

"Kazuma-" she whined.

"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"

"You're too mean!"

"And saying you'd poison me isn't?"

She blushed and pouted, before looking away.

Megumin pulled herself to her feet, still reigning in her laughter.

"So this is our new home?" she asked.

"Yeah, we just gotta deal with the evil spirits, which Aqua'll be able to do easily,"

When the real estate agent had shown us the mansion, I offered to purchase it upfront, confident that Aqua would be able to deal with the spirit problem.

He quickly accepted my offer of 30 million Eris.

30 mil **(300,000 USD)** may seem like a huge amount, but it was honestly dead cheap. It could have easily gone for 1 billion **(10 million)** or more. I also likely covered all the costs the guy had gone through attempting to repair it, turning it from a detriment into a decent profit.

"But can we really exorcise the evil spirits? I heard new spirits would keep coming no matter how much you clear them," Darkness asked.

"Leave it to me! I can already see it! From the observation of my spiritual eyes, the maid who had a relationship with the noble bore an illegitimate child! The noble died from illness and the maid went missing. The young girl left here contacted the same disease as her father, and died without ever seeing the faces of her parents! Her name was Anna Filante Asteroid. The things she liked were her dolls and the stories of adventurers! But please don't worry, this spirit won't pull pranks on us. She will not harm us! She might be a child, but she liked matured things like drinking fine wine. So, prepare some wine as an offering!" Aqua spouted.

"You sound like one of those 'Psychics'" I said, with air quotes around the last word, "The ones who do that 'cold-reading' thing,"

"Hey! What I said is true! Don't you want this house spirit free?"

I held up my hands in surrender, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But isn't a little girl liking 'fine wine', just like you, a _bit_ of a big coincidence?"

"Er… Okay, that was a lie, I'm sorry," she bowed in apology.

I rolled my eyes, "Tell you what, when you're done, I'll buy us the best wine in town to celebrate,"

She smiled and gave me a hug, one that she broke off after less than a second at the envy filled glare of Megumin, "You're the best Kazuma!"

* * *

It was good to have my own room again.

There was something freeing about going to bed fully nude, something that I hadn't been able to enjoy for the last four weeks since arriving in this new world with Aqua.

I had woken some time after falling asleep. I didn't know when, but it was still completely dark out.

I had woken with the urge to piss, so I got up and pulled on some pants, before journeying towards the hall that led towards the toilet.

I went to turn the handle, but a 'clank', loud in the silence of the room, stopped me.

I turned back towards my room, and there, sitting stationary on a chair, was a doll.

Literal porcelain skin covered with a blue dress, it starred at me blankly.

It wasn't there a moment ago, I'm sure of it.

A spirit then? I needed to get Aqua.

I turned back around and turned the door knob.

_Clank_

I whipped back to face the doll.

It wasn't there.

I felt a soft pressure on my right leg.

I looked down, and at my foot, a porcelain doll had its small arms wrapped around my lower leg, its glassy eyes starring back into my own.

"Holy _fuck_!" I screamed, kicking it away in a panic.

I threw open the door and stepped out.

_Clank_

I turned my head, unwilling to fully turn, and now, where there was once a single doll, now there were dozens.

They sailed through the air, unaffected by the fundamental force that is gravity, unimpeded by its pull, straight towards me.

I kicked the door shut, the door clapping into the frame at a painful volume, turned and broke into a sprint, already breathing hard.

Fuck _off_ with this horror movie bullshit!

"Aqua!" I screamed as I reached her room.

_Bang_

The sound of my door being forced open, knob unturned.

I wrenched open the door to Aqua's room, quickly glanced around for any dolls, then leapt inside and slammed the door shut again, pushing my back into it to _keep_ it shut.

I looked around for Aqua, but instead found my gaze locked with eyes of glowing crimson, different from what I expected, but no less familiar.

"Megumin! Where's Aqua?" I asked, trying to retain some calm.

The door slammed against my back with a force I never expected, and I nearly fell, but righted myself and pushed back against it.

The bang it made caused Megumin to let out a shriek before she answered my question.

"I-I don't know! She went out with Darkness to exorcize the spirits! What d-do _we_ do Kazuma?" she stuttered over the banging of the spirits.

"We wait here for the moment," another crash against the door, "We don't have anyway to deal with spirits ourselves,"

Her eyes fell from my own and her face flashed red as she took in my shirtless upper body.

It seemed that my rigorous sword training hadn't just been good for swords, in the eyes of Megumin.

She nodded rapidly, fighting to shake off the blush.

"The banging," she said after a moment, "Its stopped,"

She was right. The dolls outside had gone quiet.

I quickly checked my 'Detect Enemy' skill, "They're not there anymore. I just checked,"

I sighed, and the urge to urinate represented itself.

"Then I'm gonna take this opportunity to relieve myself," I said, moving towards the open balcony.

And there, peaking over one of the edges.

Porcelain skin.

"Or maybe I won't! Run Megumin!"

The dolls had flanked around from the door to the open balcony.

Fuck me, these things were determined.

Megumin was still stationary, so I grabbed her hand and pulled her along with me.

I threw open the door, and dragged us into the corridor.

* * *

"A-are you still there K-Kazmua?" Megumin asked from the other side of the door.

"I'm here," I answered softly.

She was in the toilet.

I had already gone, and I was just waiting for her to finish so we could continue.

"U-um, c-could you maybe sing a song for me Kazuma?" she asked timidly.

A song?

I don't think I know any songs that are particularly suitable for this situation.

Or maybe I do.

So I began to hum. I hummed my favourite song from a wacky show about a bunch of soldiers in a box canyon.

Contact, Final Transmission.

Megumin spoke when I finished.

"Where are you from Kazuma? I've always wanted to know, but never got around to asking,"

"A place called Japan," I answered. There wasn't any point lying when she'd never know about Japan anyway. "A very strange place where there's a custom to sing to people on the toilet," I said, sarcasm thick.

I looked to my left.

The dolls were back.

The initial shock of seeing flying dolls had worn off, and now they were just irritating,

"Megumin, you've gotta stop now, the dolls are here," I spoke quickly.

"I-I'm done, just a second," she answered.

And the dolls had spotted me. Awesome.

"Megumin," I said, volume rising.

"Coming!"

The door opened. I latched onto Megumin's wrist and dragged her into the hall, then took off running in the opposite direction of the dolls.

"'Darkness; Blacker than Black and Darmmff-"

"The hell are you thinking?! Are you tryna kill us?" I asked, putting my hand over her mouth to stop her from casting.

_Bang_

The door at the end of the hall was being struck from behind.

We were surrounded.

"Listen Megumin," I said, recalling what I could of the building's layout, "I'm gonna push through that door, and you're gonna run to the left straight away, alright? I'm gonna hold 'em off,"

"W-what? N-no!"

"Don't worry about me! I'll be fine, I swear!"

"I w-won't leave you!"

"Yes you fucking will! _You_ are going to _run_ and _I_ am going to _stay_!"

I kicked the door open, it stopping as it struck whatever was behind it. I ran into it shoulder first, pushing it open the rest of the way and immediately pushing Megumin towards the corridor where she could escape.

"_GO_ Megumin! _Ru _\- oh,"

What had been banging on the door wasn't the dolls, as I had thought, but instead Aqua, who now sat on the floor holding her forehead.

"Shit, are you okay Aqua?"

* * *

"I think that's all of them, for real this time," Aqua said.

I stopped myself from laughing.

Aqua had said 'I think that's all of them' earlier, and then a whole bunch more showed up.

That's why we don't raise flags.

You don't wanna be stuck fighting off evil spirits until early morning.

After a moment of nothing, everyone relaxed.

Then Megumin hugged me tightly.

"Thank you Kazuma," she said quietly, her face pressed against my still-shirtless chest.

I reciprocated the hug, moving my arms around her thin waist.

"Anytime Megumin. Anytime,"

"Please… Please don't sacrifice yourself for me…"

I sighed, but was inwardly pleased.

This was perfect to grab a heap of Affection Points. "Sorry Megumin, I can't promise that. If there's something I can do to protect you, I'm going to do it,"

Her arms tightened and her face, still against my chest, rose in temperature by a few degrees.

Perfect. I am so damn smooth.

As this transpired, Aqua looked on with clear envy.

"Kazuma-" She whined, stepping closer, "You hit me with that door!"

I sighed again, "I already apologised for that! _And_ you know it was an accident,"

She pouted, "It still hurts though," she whined.

"And what am I supposed to do about that?"

She stepped closer again, "You could kiss it better," she said quietly, her cheeks beginning to go red.

She is a child in a slightly less child-like body.

Confirmed.

I rolled my eyes for what felt like the millionth time. I removed my left arm from Megumin, put it behind Aqua's neck, and pulled her closer. I planted a soft kiss on her forehead, then released her.

She fell back in surprise, eyes wide, before her face flushed rapidly, and a dopey smile grew.

A gasp of protest came from Megumin, so I placed my hand on top of her head, stroking her hair softly, to which she hummed in delight.

The One-Upsmanship between these two is pretty great for me.

I don't want _just _Aqua's nice proportions _or_ Megumin's petite figure. Wonder if I can get both?

Probably. I am pretty fucking awesome.

It'll take some work though.

But looking at Aqua's shapely body, and feeling Megumin pressed against me? That shit will be werf.

After a bit, Megumin finally released me, and Aqua returned to cognitive thought, while Darkness had simply stood there, enjoying being ignored.

"I think we should report this to the Guild," Darkness said, "Although we didn't take on this quest from the Guild, this was an adventurer's job anyway. We might get some unexpected bounty for exorcising all the spirits in this mansion. I also want to know why are there so many spirits turning up in town suddenly,"

We agreed, and Aqua and I headed for the Guild while Darkness and Megumin stayed behind to clean up.

We reached the Guild and stepped inside to find Luna already at her desk.

"Good morning Luna. Hope it's not too early for you," I said with a smile.

"Not at all, Kazuma-san. How can I help you?" she replied.

I gave her a quick run-down on what had happened with the real estate agent and the mansion.

She checked Aqua's Adventurer's Card to validify her efforts, then spoke.

"There were many who were seeking help due to the spread of the evil spirits. Since you have successfully repelled the monsters, we should have some bounty rewards for you. Thank you for your hard work," she said.

"Cool," I responded simply as Aqua gave a little victory dance.

"Oh, and we have found out why the evil spirits were wandering around; here is the report. You know the public cemetery in town? I don't know who thought it was funny, but someone created a giant holy barrier on the cemetery. The spirits in the cemetery had nowhere to go, so they ended up having to go to town and haunt empty houses,"

Aqua stilled.

God fucking dammit.

I spoke up quickly before Luna could catch on.

"Is that so? We could fix that pretty easy too, right Aqua?" I offered.

"Huh? Uh yes! I can do it no problem!" she responded, catching on quickly.

Luna smiled brightly, "That would be great! Please do so at your earliest convenience!"

"Well, we'll go do that now; give you some time to figure out the bounty," I said, attempting to get out of there quickly so I could deal with Aqua.

"That sounds good! I'll see you in a little while, Kazuma-san, Aqua-san,"

"Later Luna," I responded as I took Aqua's arm and pulled her outside the Guild.

"It was you, wasn't it," I stated once we were outside.

She nodded, refusing to speak

I sighed. Again.

"Let's go fix it then,"

She nodded again.

"Don't look so down Aqua," I said to her with a smile, "I'll use the money to buy you some wine, yeah? Today is a day of celebration, and we're damn well gonna celebrate,"

"Okay," she said, a smile of her own forming.

At least she wasn't protesting about getting double the reward through not-so-legitimate means.

Guess I'm rubbing off on her.

Now, it's about time I had some fun.

* * *

A request made by the real estate agent was that we maintain the small graveyard out the back, something I had no problem doing, as it would only take a minute out of each day.

I took a cloth to the solitary grave stone, dirt and dust coming off with little effort.

'Anna Filante Asteroid'

Huh, guess Aqua _did_ see her.

"Kazuma!" Aqua called from the doorway leading inside, "Megumin says that for every minute you're late, there'll be one less piece of fried meat! Take your time, you don't need to hurry, _our_ lunch will be better that way," she teased.

"Yeah fuckin' right. Like I'd let you skip out on my food," I said, standing as I finished with the gravestone.

I think I'll clean up the yard around here, and maybe leave one of those dolls here. Don't want a repeat of what happened with the other spirits because I pissed her off.

When I reached the table, everyone went to start eating.

"Wait a sec, guys," I said, "Today is a day of celebration. Today is the day we become a real party, not just a temporary thing, with our own house. Aqua, would you like to get the drinks?"

"Yes, Kazuma!" she said overly formal, standing and giving me a mock salute.

She left the table and went to one of the short cupboards nearby, opening the small wooden doors and collecting the wine we had purchased earlier, and other assorted drinks, including some non-alcoholic 'Lemon Swish' for Megumin, and likely myself.

"Do you want alcohol Megumin?" I asked.

"Wait a second-" Darkness began.

"She's old enough. It's her choice, not ours. Do you want alcohol? I'll mix it in with the Swish, so it won't taste bad,"

She thought about it for a moment, then nodded, "Yes please,"

I mixed in a small amount of the low strength liquor I had bought into the glass, pouring myself one as well, while Aqua poured herself, and Darkness, a glass of wine.

"Cheers everyone," I said, lifting my glass.

"Cheers!"

We had fun.

We ate and we drank. We talked about nothing and everything.

Megumin, to nobody's surprise, was a total light-weight when it came to drinking, barely making it passed three glasses that were half the strength of beer.

It was hilarious though.

* * *

I closed the door behind me as I stepped back inside my new home

Fuck its cold.

I flared my mana under my skin, giving it a pleasant temperature boost.

I had decided against taking my winter clothing as today was significantly warmer, and the work I was going to be doing would have kept me active.

Or I thought it would. I ended up sitting in one spot for an hour waiting for a monster to show up, before killing it in under a minute.

Very disappointing, but it paid well, so I wasn't too unhappy.

"I'm home!" I called as I stepped into the living room.

"Hey Kazuma," Darkness and Megumin acknowledged, disinterested.

"Hey Kazuma," Aqua replied from her lying position on the couch, "How was the job?"

"Boring," I answered, before turning to Darkness and Megumin, "How goes the game?"

They were sat on the floor, playing a board game similar to chess, but developed in a world where magic is the norm.

"_I_ am about to claim victory!" Megumin declared boldly.

"Yeah?" Darkness retorted, "Then what are you gonna do aboutthis! I move my crusader here, check!"

Megumin, the drama queen she was, gasped in exaggerated shock, before her face bent into a smug smile.

"You've fallen into my trap! Teleport!" she declared, moving her piece, as Darkness reacted with a gasp of her own, "Check… and… Mate!"

She jumped to her feet, fist pumping upwards as she paraded her victory around the board, chanting; "I am the best!"

Aqua giggled, and lifted her legs up so I could sit on the couch beside her, before she replaced her legs over my lap.

"So now that you've finished your game," I began, memory of a promise surfacing, "You guys wanna see something? It'll takes us a half hour to walk there,"

They all agreed, not having much better to do.

We began our journey shortly after, a journey that both Aqua and Megumin knew well.

We were walking to the late-general's castle.

* * *

We arrived in the spot Megumin had cast from so many times before.

"Well?" I said to Megumin, "I'm sure you know what to do,"

She grinned and raised her staff.

"Oh, blackness shrouded in light; Frenzied blaze clad in night; In the name of the crimson demons; let the collapse of thine origin manifest! Summon before me the root of thy power; hidden within the lands of the kingdom of demise! 'Explosion'!"

A new cloud of red destruction sprouted from the already destroyed castle, a shockwave followed shortly after, and finally the large, echoing boom.

Megumin collapsed, but sighed in happiness, "It's good to use 'Explosion' again,"

"Yeah? Well the good times don't stop here. Aqua, would you lend me your hand for my newest skill? Don't worry, I don't need any life-force, so it won't hurt,"

She looked confused at first, but then realised my plan and followed my request.

Aqua looked pleased to have her hand in mine as I crouched down to the prone Megumin.

She gasped as I put my hand on the back of her neck.

"W-w-what are you doing?! W-why are y-you t-touch-"

"Relax," I said, cutting off her stammering, "I'm not the kinda person to _do_ anything. Besides, these two are here if I _was_ that kinda guy,"

"R-right," She said, embarrassed, "S-sorry Kazuma. So what are we- Huh?! Ooohh~" she moaned as I began the transfer, pushing a bit of my own life force in to compensate for what she already used.

"K-K-Kazuma is f-filling me up!"

I held back a snicker.

"Phrasing Megumin, phrasing,"

Even with her position facedown, I could see her bright blush.

"Th-th-that's not what I meant!"

I laughed and continued the transfer.

"How do you feel?" I asked as I finished, offering a hand.

She took it, and I pulled her to her feet. She staggered for a moment, but quickly stabilised with the help of her staff.

She looked incredulous, looking down at her empty hand, flexing her fingers.

"Y-you… You did it…? You did it!... You did it you did it you did it!"

She crashed into me, her small arms wrapping around my torso.

She looked up at me, eyes shining, both metaphorically, and literally. A grin split her face in two, and she practically vibrated in excitement.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" she screamed as she turned back to the castle, staff once more up and ready.

"Darkness of the void!" she chanted, "Combine with my will! Through the unity of smoke and flame and wind and fire!" she locked eyes with me over her shoulder, "Come together in thy unholy combination of destruction! Bend to no other, and raze this land; 'Explosion'!"

* * *

I slowly lowered Megumin to the floor from my back.

We were in front of the door to her room, having just arrived back from our walk.

Everyone seemed happy with our little trip, Aqua's and Darkness's hearts being warmed by the unending happiness of our youngest member, who spent the journey back raving about the fact that she had cast twice.

I wished her goodnight and turned to leave, but she grasped the back of my shirt before I could go.

I turned back and raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you Kazuma, thank you so much," she said with a bright smile.

I returned the smile, "Any time Megumin,"

She lifted her arms and grabbed the front of my shirt, before she lifted herself onto her toes, closed her eyes, and planted a kiss on my cheek.

Her face flashed red in an instant, "G-goodnight Kazuma," she stammered as she turned around and quickly escaped to her room.

Oh yeah, that's a lot of points.

I turned and walked back to the lounge room, where Aqua sat on one of the couches.

I sat beside her.

"You did a really good thing today," she said.

"Yeah. I always keep my promises," I returned.

She wrapped her arms around mine, pushing it between the soft globes of flesh situated on her chest, and leaned against me, laying her head on my shoulder.

Mm. Those'll be great for paizuri.

"I know Kazuma. Thank you,"

"Always Aqua," I said, lifting my other arm to slowly stroke her hair.

After just a minute of this, she was fast asleep.

Man, it's tempting to take advantage of this.

Nah, too risky.

Instead, I slowly lifted her into my arms, and carried her bridal style to her room, laying her slowly in bed, and wrapping the covers around her.

Maybe it won't be as hard as I thought to get both.

I returned to bed, and fell asleep moments after laying down.

* * *

**Hey all, sorry this is late, and short. Work was a bitch this week so I was only able to work on Monday and Tuesday, so I thought I would get done what I could today as well, so now it's a 5k chapter rather than a 4k one.**

**And we reached some huge milestones on Wednesday!**

**Ten **_**thousand**_** views, and two **_**hundred**_** follows! It's absolutely crazy. I love that you guys like this as much as I do!**

**Something else I'm loving is writing in all this fluff, then ramming in the super dark thoughts of Kazuma right after it, just to show off how terrible he is. But man, writing Megumin in this chapter was great. She's just so cute! And I love writing her chants (I've done 2 so far); great fun**

**Another thing, I got the game 'My Friend Pedro', a couple days ago. Super fun, would recommend checking it out. I remember playing the original flash game, back on Armor Games.**

**Damn that was a long time ago.**

**Oh, and to the guest reviewer 'James-Kit'. You probably didn't see it, but I put a little note for you at the end of the last chapter, but I'll repeat it now. My planned update schedule in a 6-8k chapter released on Fridays. Today is obviously an exception. Hopefully lmao.**

**That's all for today, see you guys next week!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**P.S. To Nagisa Tr; Chomusuke should be coming in a couple of chapters or so. He's introduced about a quarter of the way into the third book, and as of the start of next chapter, I'll be about three quarters of the second. So yeah, probably not too long.**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 5,061**

**Story: 48,633**


	9. Chapter 9

"What; I can't get the real deal?" I asked the receptionist with a sceptical look.

"Um, no, we don't offer… _that_ kind of service,"

"Strange that a _brothel_ doesn't offer _sex_, you know?"

I really didn't get it. The succubi need 'sexual energy' or some shit, so they offer dreams, but not sex?

What?

I stumbled upon this place when I was exploring town, and thinking it was a brothel, decided to enter.

What I found was… different.

It was owned and operated by succubi, as something of a mutually beneficial relationship with the town's adventurers.

They provide the dreams, and are, in turn, provided with sustenance and protection.

But they don't offer sex.

I sighed, "Whatever. How do I get one of these dreams?" I asked the receptionist, a scantily clad, older succubus.

She smiled, reached behind the counter, giving me a slip of paper akin to a menu, consistent with the restaurant theme of the building.

"Please fill out all the specifics you want in your dream on this form, then hand it back to me,"

Simple enough.

I sat at one of the tables and quickly filled it out, writing a generic 'gorgeous, slightly older woman' as my selected partner, leaving what I received to the luck of the draw, something I was confident would turn out well.

I returned to the receptionist, turned in my form, and paid the 5,000 Eris **(~50 USD)** fee.

Very cheap, but probably end up being a waste of time, though I was willing to try.

I left the store, and with my exploration complete, I returned home, where I was greeted by an excited Aqua.

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"

"Tonight's dinner is going to be splendid! It's crab! Darkness' folks sent someone over, saying that if Darkness is going to stay here from now on, they should send a gift, and that was a super extravagant crimson-snow crab! And a magnificent top-class wine too! They want to thank us for taking care of their daughter!"

Oh.

Nice.

"Crimson-snow crab?" I asked.

"Yeah! They're really rare and expensive, but they taste incredible!"

"Cool. I'll have to try it then," I said as we entered my mansion.

"In an improvised career as an adventurer," Megumin began, "I never thought there would be a day I would see a crimson-snow crab! I am glad I joined this party!"

"It's that good, is it?"

"It's incredible! … Or so I've been told," she trailed off.

"I'll get to cooking it then, where is it?" I asked.

Megumin was about to answer, but stopped, "You can cook?" she asked instead.

Can I cook? I essentially lived by myself! Of course I can fucking _cook!_

"Yeah, I can cook. Who do you think made last night's curry?"

She didn't answer, instead just stared at me, mouth slightly open as her face slowly went red.

Seems I ticked one of Megumin's boxes.

I rolled my eyes, "So?" I asked, "Where is it?"

"Eh? Oh, um, right. It's in the kitchen. Darkness is already cooking it though," she answered.

"Oh. Never mind then,"

I sat at the dining table, and the three of us chatted about idle things until Darkness made her appearance, the crab sitting on the large dish she held between her hands, while Aqua cheerfully retrieved four wine glasses for us to drink from.

Everyone waited, looking to me, so I took the first serving, where everyone then followed suit.

I dipped some of the pink and white flesh into some vinegar and put it in my mouth.

It was _very_ good.

A taste that only comes with high quality meat.

I could tell why everyone was so eager to eat.

I grabbed the wine bottle and poured everyone a glass, except Megumin, who I stopped before.

"Careful with this Megumin," I warned, "It's like, 8 times stronger than what you had last time,"

She blinked at me; mouth full of crab. She swallowed her mouthful, before acknowledging me.

"Okay. Thanks, Kazuma," she said, picking up her glass and taking a sip.

It was then that Aqua called to me.

"Kazuma, Kazuma,"

"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"

"Use your 'Fire' here!" she said, gesturing at a small roasting pot she had created, "I'll show you the best way to have the wine and crab!"

I obliged, lighting a small flame for her, as she tipped a small amount of wine into some shell with a bit of the crab meat still within.

After a moment, she took the slightly charred shell and placed it to her mouth, sipping the warm wine within.

Her blissful sighs seemed to be enough encouragement, as both Megumin and Darkness quickly followed suit, who responded with pleased noises of their own.

So I tried it myself.

It was _good_.

The already excellent wine was only improved. The warmth and added flavour from the crab increasing its taste exponentially.

We continued eating, but I quickly confiscated Megumin's wine after about a third of her glass, as she was already nearing complete intoxication.

Fortunately, it seemed the wine wasn't 20%. Felt more like 15, maybe 18%, so she was still conscious.

After we finished eating, we slowly moved to the lounge room. Slowly, as I had to half carry both Megumin _and_ Aqua, the latter have gone through four glasses of wine in less than an hour.

I got out the chess-like board and sat on the main couch between Megumin and Aqua, with Darkness in another chair opposite me.

"Alright Darkness. I'm gonna teach you a new game. A game called Chess,"

* * *

After an hour of me destroying everyone at chess, to my great amusement and their collective dismay, we all returned to our rooms to sleep.

I laid on my bed and quickly fell asleep.

Until now that is.

I found myself awake. Full conscious and alert. Something that often happens when I wake up in the morning. But a glance out the window showed it was still the dead of night.

Fuck. Guess I'll be awake a while then.

Maybe a bath will help me back to sleep. I still had that succubus dream to have, right?

I put on some clothing and retrieved a lantern, before exiting my room and heading for the bathroom.

I put up the little 'occupied' sign and lit the other lantern as I began running the water.

I really didn't care if any of the girls saw me naked. Not in the slightest. But _they_ would care, which could become problematic, which is why I bothered with the sign.

I slipped into the water, sighing at the comforting warmth.

Oh man. I'm already feeling tired.

Fuck it. I'll sleep here. Not like I can drown or anything. I'll wake up if the water touches my face, and I really can't be fucked going back to my room.

I shut my eyes.

Then opened them.

It was dark.

Why was it dark? I remember lighting the lantern.

Ah. Maybe it's the succubi's dream.

I looked around the room.

Only to lock eyes with Darkness, her naked body only barely covered by a towel.

Oh fuck no. Not a chance am I fucking the revolting excuse of sentient life who answered to the moniker 'Darkness'. Dream or not.

I raised an eyebrow as I looked her in the eyes.

"Do you mind?" I asked, bored.

"K-K-K-Kazuma! W-w-what are you d-doing in here?!" she stammered, shrinking up on herself.

Huh? Is she blind _and_ retarded?

"What am I doing here? Taking a bath, you moron! The sign was there for a _reason_ you fucking perv! And why do you think the clothes basket was full? The hell are you doing, barging in here you peeping Tom!"

"W-w-wait! I-I wasn't peeping! There wasn't any sign! But now that you mention it, I should have noticed the full clothes basket," she said quietly, her face reddening in the dim light.

"E-even in this kind of situation," she panted, "K-Kazuma still abuses me!"

"Oh, fuck _off!_ Leave me alone! Let me bathe in peace, you bitch!"

She blinked, "Eh? Um, right. Sorry Kazuma-san,"

She began to turn, but stopped, looking at me with a red face.

"I-I can't fully c-cover myself…" she admitted.

I rolled my eyes.

I turned away from her, and she spoke again, "And d-don't peak!"

"Like I'd want to see _that_,"

She stifled a moan.

…

I _cannot_ win.

After she had left, I dried off and redressed, before returning to my room.

"Intruder! Everyone come quick! There is an intruder in the mansion!"

Aqua.

An intruder?

I quickly grabbed the Winter Shogun's sword and ran towards the living room, where Aqua's voice had come from.

Megumin and Darkness were already there, looking down at the intruder, who had been pinned by Aqua.

It was a succubus.

Younger than the receptionist. Smaller too. Short pink hair framed her red eyes, with darker pink wings sprouting from her scalp. Very little covered her petite frame. Black and pink lingerie paired with long, black, silk gloves gave her a very alluring appearance.

She looked at me as I entered, her eyes widening in recognition and panic.

Aqua noticed me too.

"Be careful Kazuma! It's a succubus; they target men! Don't come too close, or she might attack! She probably targeted you in the first place!" she said, anger growing, "But my barrier discovered her, and I caught her!"

Ah. I didn't expect something that clever from Aqua.

Maybe I should give her some more credit. She _does_ come up with some pretty smart plans sometimes. Sometimes being the key word.

"Alright then, accept your fate!" Aqua spoke, "I'll use _all_ my devil killing skill on you for targeting Kazuma!"

"I'm so sorry esteemed customer!"

What the fuck?

I looked back at the succubus, but her mouth was still closed.

But the speaking continued.

Telepathy?

"Just leave me sir! I'm just a monster! I didn't expect the barrier, and that's my fault! You shouldn't lose face trying to protect me! Just let them kill me…"

"Wait," I said as I approached the downed monster

Aqua froze, "Wait Kazuma! What are you doing? It might be dangerous!" she said.

"I have another idea," I answered.

I knelt down in front of the succubus, shifting my face into one of rage and disgust, but subtly winking at her.

"I'm not going to kill you," I said, "Instead, I'm going to make _sure_ you realise the mistake you made, coming to this house, then, you're gonna go back to _all_ your little succubi friends, and _make sure they don't make the same mistake,_"

She stared at me, mouth open, not in fear, but in awe.

"Do you understand?"

She rapidly nodded.

I looked at Aqua as I drew my blade and motioned from her to move off.

She nodded, a vicious smile on her face as she moved off the small succubus.

"Get up," I said roughly, "Slowly,"

She did, gradually climbing to her feet.

Once she was fully upright, I grabbed a hold of her neck with one hand, and placed the tip of my sword lightly against her back, careful not to pierce the skin.

I slowly led her to the door. She opened the door and I stepped outside with her.

I turned back to the three women that had followed along with us.

"You won't want to watch this part," I said.

They nodded and I closed the door.

We walked for a little while, until I was sure they wouldn't be able to see us, then spoke.

"This should be far enough," I told her as I removed my hand from her neck and resheathed my sword.

The girl turned around, quickly bending at the hips for a deep bow.

"Th-thank you so much! Y-you s-saved my life customer-sama! I'm so sorry you got stuck in that position. How can I ever repay you?"

Well, I have _one_ idea.

I hummed in mock thought.

"I _do_ have a problem you could help with," I said.

She looked at me expectantly.

I slowly ran my eyes over her appearance.

"A problem that your outfit has caused,"

She blinked in confusion, before her eyes fell, and a sultry smile grew on her lips.

"I think I can help with that~" she said as she knelt down in front of me, slowly unzipping my pants.

* * *

"I'm telling you! Luck is the best stat by _far,_" I said.

"What? What good is luck for? You win a few more coin tosses?" Megumin exclaimed, incredulous.

"I _do_. In fact, I've _never_ lost a coin toss. Or Rock-Paper-Scissors," I told the three, "But that's not the point. Think about it this way. _Everything _is influenced by luck,"

They looked sceptical, "Alright, I'll prove that _my _luck specifically, is the best, and how it can help,"

Alright Eris-sama, I need your help for this, just to prove that you have the best domain by _far_.

"Think of a number between one and one hundred. Got it?" they nodded, and I pointed at Aqua, "Eighty-six," then Megumin, "Twenty-three," then Darkness, "Forty-two,"

Cue simultaneous gasps and rapid glances between the three. Thank you Eris.

"That's what you call a one-in-a-million guess. Literally. Imagine if I took that to a casino. Or to the _battlefield_. If you had every one-in-a-million chance _on your side _, you'd be unstoppable. A gust of wind would _fortunately_ blow arrows off course, swords would just _happen_ to break, enemies would _unluckily_ fall. Do you understand it's power?"

Three nods.

"And that's just in combat scenarios! It applies to _everything!_ Who you meet, what you find, where you go, what get's talked about, _everything._ And-"

I was cut off.

Another broadcast.

"Destroyer alert! Destroyer alert! The moving fortress destroyer is approaching this town! All adventurers please report to the Adventurers' Guild with all your gear! The citizens in town, please evacuate immediately!"

Well that doesn't sound good.

"Everyone get ready," I told them.

"We're gonna fight the _Destroyer?_" Megumin asked, incredulous.

"Maybe. Maybe not. But we're damn well going to protect the towns-folk,"

Aqua joined Megumin, looking at me in wonder with flushing faces.

Those two are hopeless.

"Come on! Let's go!" I said, jumping to my feet.

"Yes!" they answered, all three getting to their feet and rushing for their rooms.

This wouldn't be easy.

From what I had heard, the Destroyer was damn near invincible.

A near city sized vehicle of destruction.

Kinda like that Western movie. 'Mortal Engines', I think? But with spider legs instead of tracks.

Incredible magical resistance combined with its huge size and incredible speed meant it had roamed the world unopposed for centuries, destroying everything in its seemingly random path. Hence the name 'Destroyer'.

Aqua was the first ready, followed by myself, Megumin, then Darkness. We all ran to the guild, sticking with our slowest member, Darkness, who was weighed down by her heavy armour.

Luna was outside waiting, glancing in every direction with a rapidity spurred by fear and panic.

She spotted me, and her worried expression brightened significantly.

"Kazuma-san! You're here! Please, go inside! The emergency council is about to start,"

I nodded to her and opened the door, but she caught my sleeve.

"I'll be honest Kazuma-san; your party is probably the strongest, and most accomplished in the town. It'll mean a lot to everyone inside to see you here. It means a lot to me,"

I smiled to her, "Don't worry Luna," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder, "We'll make sure everything turns out alright,"

"Right," she smiled in return, "Good luck,"

I nodded, and stepped into the Guild, my party in tow.

"Kazuma-san! Good to see you!" called an adventurer.

Oh. That's the dude who told be about the General using the castle.

"Likewise friend, we need as many people here as we can get," I responded.

"Too right. You and your party are worth at _least_ five extra parties!" he laughed.

I joined him, patted him on the back, then continued, trading words with a few others as we found some seats.

It was a noticeable shift.

The few hundred adventurers in the Guild were already looking more spirited since my arrival. Words were traded in more cheerful tones, and a few laughs were exchanged. Moral had increased none too insignificantly.

Oh. That Mitsurugi fuckwad is here too. And he found his sword! I'll have to congratulate him for that.

After a couple more minutes, Luna came back in through the front doors.

"Alright!" she called loudly, seemingly deciding that this was everyone who would come, "Thank you for coming everyone! We're starting the emergency war council now! First things first; is there anyone who doesn't know what the Destroyer is?"

A few hands were raised.

"The mobile fortress 'Destroyer' is a gigantic golem, built by the nation Norse,"

Norse? Like the earthan… Ugh 'Earthan' sounds bad even in my mind. How about… Terran? Much better. Norse was a Terran country. Maybe it was created by a reincarnate.

"which had advanced magic technology to fight against the Demon King army. Using their national budget, and depleting their vaults, they constructed a colossal spider shaped golem, the size of a small castle. Utilizing large quantities of magic metals, it is far lighter than it looks, able to move faster than a horse with its eight gigantic legs,"

Damn. Wonder how they keep track of it if it's faster than they're means of transport?

How did _we_ even get such an early warning?

Some kind of magical transport or communication?

Luna continued her explanation.

"Even a colossal monster would be turned into mush if it got stepped on by its eight agile legs," she claimed, "The torso uses the fruit of Norse's accumulated technology, casting a large magic barrier over it at all times. That means magic attacks are pointless,"

Every barrier has a weakness. The problem was finding it.

Maybe it could be overloaded by having Megumin cast 'Explosion' at it over and over again. We'd need a lot of mana for that though.

"Hey Aqua," I whispered as I turned to her, "How many 'Explosion's do you think you could fuel with your mana?"

Her eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"I don't know," she whispered back, "A few thousand maybe?"

What the fuck?

Holy shit, that'll probably work.

Perks of being divine, I guess.

"Which leaves physical attacks," Luna continued, "If you get close, it will just crush you, which restricts us to ranged attacks like archers and catapults. Unfortunately, the Destroyer is crafted from magically reinforced materials, so arrows cannot do any damage, and siege catapults are essentially useless because of its incredible agility. The Destroyer's master, who has controlled it to this day, doesn't discriminate between monster nor man, simply destroying everything it sees,"

Well fuck.

She huffed, "Any ideas?" she asked in desperation.

An adventurer raised his hand. "What happened to Norse? Surely if they built it, they must know its weaknesses," he said.

"Norse was the first place targeted once it began its rampage. It was destroyed in its entirety,"

"Maybe a giant pit trap?" another adventurer proposed.

"It's been attempted before. One town gathered all of its Elemental Masters in order to excavate the earth. The Destroyer fell in the trap successfully, but due to its incredible agility, it was able to jump out before they were able to completely trap it,"

This seems to have a simple, if hard to execute answer.

"We need to board it," I said, "If its being controlled, and nothing can stop it, we just need to stop whoever is controlling it. You said that the master of it has been controlling it since its construction. For centuries. That means they're almost certainly an undead, and my party is rather good at dealing with undead. The problem that arises is; how to get on board,"

I turned to Aqua.

"Wiz said you would be strong enough to destroy a barrier sustained by three or four Demon Army generals. This one should be no problem at all. Then," I turned to Megumin, "you target the legs, knock it over and we can climb up it in no time,"

Luna looked at me, her eyes bright.

"Brilliant Kazuma-san. Brilliant! That might just work!"

Megumin tugged on my sleeve. "I'm not sure I'll be strong enough by myself…"

The door burst open.

"Sorry I'm late!" Wiz called as she stepped inside, "I'm an adventurer too, so please let me help!"

My, that's _lucky_.

"Wiz," I called, "Can you use 'Explosion'?" I asked.

"Eh? Um, yes, I can. Why?" she answered, confused.

"Perfect. Aqua breaks the barrier, then you and Megumin can take out its legs,"

"I see," she murmured, "That's very clever," she nodded to herself, "Yes. I can do this,"

I turned back to Luna.

"There's your plan Luna. Ready to take down the Destroyer?"

* * *

Megumin, Aqua, Darkness and I, along with Wiz and Luna, were situated on the ramparts of the city walls.

Below us, adventurers busied themselves constructing barriers to protect against the 'Explosion's that would soon be cast.

Megumin was breathing rapidly.

"I-I have to d-do my best! I-I-I-I can d-do this! I-I w-will suc-succeed!" she said to herself.

"Megumin," I said softly, putting a hand on her head. She snapped her eyes to mine in a panic, "You _can_ do this. I have faith in you," I comforted with a smile.

The concern on her face slowly washed away, being replace with a resolute smile.

"Yes. I _can_ do this. Thank you Kazuma,"

I turned back to where the Destroyer was meant to be coming from, and scanned the horizon.

Ah. There it was.

A smooth, black, spider-like construct peaked over the horizon.

"I see it," I said, pointing it out to the others.

I was about 10 metres off the ground on the rampart, so from memory, it's about…

"The Destroyer is 10 kilometre out everyone! Be ready!" I called.

**(The distance of the horizon compared to your height is a pretty smooth logarithmic line with a scale at about 10 to 100. i.e. to increase the distance you can see by 10 times, you have to increase your height by 100 times)**

Luna's voice followed my own, being magically loudened so everyone was made aware.

"The Destroyer is only 10 kilometres away! Please get ready for battle everyone!"

The ground tremored as it approached, and within a couple of minutes, it was only half a kilometre away.

"Now Aqua!"

"'Sacred Break Spell'!"

A bright white orb appeared in front of her outstretched palms, before rapidly soaring towards the Destroyer, crossing the distance in mere seconds.

A dome flashed into existence around the town sized behemoth, pale and translucent, likely as Aqua's spell reached it.

A spiderweb of cracks crossed its surface in an instant, and with a strange unsettling silence, it shattered, shards of magical defence dissipating in the atmosphere as they rained down around their creator.

I put my hand on the back of Megumin's neck. I opened a channel of mana between us, letting it lazily flow between us.

"You feel it? We're in this together, so give 'em hell!" I told her.

"Yeah!" she cried with determination.

"Darker than night; brighter than fire; come hither with your endless anarchy! Infinite in heat and unending in force; may my magic guide you! Combine with my power and return all to the abyss; 'Explosion'!"

"'Explosion'!"

With her chant complete, my mana vanished. Drastically more than half disappearing in an instant as her spell drew its required mana from our collective source.

Twin beams of light flew through the air, reaching the Destroyer near instantaneously.

The spells carved through the legs of the behemoth without difficulty. The twin denotations wiping out all eight of the Destroyer's supports.

The cacophonous booms were shortly followed by a tremendous thud as the Destroyer's body impacted the floor.

A better result than I ever could have hoped for.

It was well and truly grounded, allowing us to explore it at our own leisure.

Cheers erupted from the adventurers, comparably loud to the explosions themselves.

It was time. Today is the day that the Destroyer is killed.

"WARNING. WARNING." Screamed the downed machine, "MOVEMENT INOPERABLE. UNABLE TO VENT EXCESS HEAT. REACTOR SLOWLY APPROACHING CRITICAL TEMPERATURES. ALL OPERATORS EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY."

Oh shit.

Well, I wasn't _wrong_. It's definitely gonna die.

Whether or not it takes us with it is still up for debate.

"What's going on? Why is it yelling that? What does it mean?"

I slid down a ladder to reach ground level.

"It means," I told him, and the other adventurers around him, "That it's gonna explode,"

He paled, "How big will the explosion be?"

"Well," I answered, "Considering that the power source, which must be gigantic, is what's gonna go boom, I'd guess that it'd be lucky if the town's ashes still exist,"

"The entire town..?"

I nodded.

"But it's not the end," I said, raising my voice, "All those in favour of boarding the Destroyer, shutting it down, and saving our town; raise your hand!"

They raised their hands unanimously.

"Then let's take this fucker out!"

They cheered their approval.

So, we ran for the destroyer, and upon reaching it, we discovered no way to climb it.

"Archers!" I called, hoping my idea would get across.

I pulled the recurve bow from my back and took an arrow from the quiver. I grabbed the end of a long rope and tied it around the end of my arrow.

Thankfully, arrows, when fired using a skill, like 'Snipe', aren't affected by the weight of additional materials attached to them, so the rope wouldn't stop my arrow mid-air.

'Snipe'

The arrow soared upwards, and over the top edge of the Destroyer.

I yanked the rope.

It held firm.

"I'll go up first," I said to the adventurers around me as other archers began doing something similar, "I'm the lightest. I'll get to the top and make sure it's secure,"

They nodded in response and I began making my way up the rope.

Thank fuck my upper body strength has increased, or this would be hellish.

My arms were sufficiently _burning_ by the time I finished climbing the straight vertical 20 metres and hauled myself over the lip onto the deck of the Destroyer.

I followed the rope to my arrow, it having caught in a railing, untied the rope from it, and firmly retied it to the railing itself.

"It's good! Go!" I shouted down to the other adventurers, who somehow began to climb the rope without difficulty, even though they were fully armoured.

I waved at another archer. She nodded in response and fired an arrow by me. I grabbed the rope trailing behind it and tied it in place on another railing.

The deck behind me rumbled.

I turned.

A golem was spawning.

I dropped into 'Incognito' and readied my all my damage boost skill.

I quietly slid behind the Earth element golem, and struck.

My blade carved clean through earth and stone, bisecting it from left hip to right shoulder.

With my blade sheathed, I turned back to the first rope, to see a wide-eyed adventurer peaking over the top.

I jogged over and extended a hand.

"Welcome to the party. Go help the other archers and tie off their ropes. Make sure they know you're helping, or you might end up dropping someone to their death," I instructed him as he stood.

"Got it. Good luck Kazuma-san," he responded.

"And to you as well,"

Following quite close behind him was a tired Aqua. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.

Wait, she's wearing shorts now?

I looked over the edge to see an assortment of disappointed adventurers.

Ah. Smart. I guess she can summon clothing or something.

I pointed at a small gathering of adventurers who were slowly fighting their way through the golems towards a door.

"Go help them out, heal them, buff them, whatever. I'm gonna look for the core," I instructed her.

"Okay," she responded, "Be careful Kazuma,"

I again dropped into incognito, weaving around golems and adventurers as I searched for a way down.

I located a ramp and ran down it to be confronted with three hallways.

Fuck me. It's never easy is it?

* * *

After nearly a quarter of an hour of frantic searching, I found the main reactor room.

Buzzing angrily in the centre of a metal wire-frame fence was a glowing red stone. The heat being emitted from was incredible. I couldn't even get close to the fence.

I couldn't do shit about it myself.

I bolted back for the top side.

It was deserted.

Destroyed golems were strewn about the surface, but it was completely absent of adventurers.

I ran for the door I had seen earlier that the adventurers and burs through it.

Inside I saw the thirty or so adventurers, a skeleton (not an undead one, but a fully dead one), and Aqua with a book in her hands.

Everyone looked to me as I entered.

"I found the core,"

* * *

"I can get it out, be we need a way to get rid of it straight away. As far as we know, the only reason it hasn't exploded yet is because it's still in there,"

"I could 'Teleport' it away, but I can only send it to a few places, and my mana is too low," Wiz offered.

"Where can you send it? You can use 'Drain Touch' on Aqua for the mana cost," I responded.

"I can only send it into the town, to the capital, or into the Dungeon. And I can't take mana from Aqua-san. It's too holy in nature, and will destroy me before I have enough to cast with," she answered.

"Send it to the Dungeon then. Could you use me as I conduit? I absorb the mana from Aqua, and you absorb it from me?"

"Um… The Dungeon is the main source of income for adventurers worldwide. But that should work, with you defusing the holy nature of the magic,"

Fuck.

"Alternatively, I could send it to a random location, but it could as easily land in an open field-"

"Or in a populated area," I finished, to which she nodded.

"Fuck it. It's the best option we've got. Aqua, come here,"

She stepped close, and I took her hand and activated 'Drain Touch', immediately drawing mana from her gigantic reserves.

I held my other hand out to Wiz, and let her draw as much as she needed.

"You good?" I asked her.

She nodded.

I cupped my hands together and used my learnt ice magic to cool the air between them as much as I could.

"'Steal'!"

The core, which I learnt was 'Coronatite', vanished from its containment, and immediately a searing pain appeared in my hands.

I instinctively ripped my hands apart, the brightly glowing stone falling to the floor.

It had already started glowing both brighter and hotter, its colour quickly approaching white.

"Now Wiz!"

"'Teleport'!"

And with a flash of white, the stone vanished, this time for good.

I grunted as the burning pain in my hands continued.

"Are you alright Kazuma?" Aqua asked, rushing back towards me.

I sighed, and simply showed her my hands.

She gasped as she saw the damage, quickly taking both of them into her own hands.

"'Heal!'"

Immediately, the pain subsided, and I watched as the previously horrifically burnt flesh rapidly returned to its natural colour.

With the core gone, the warning that had been glaring continuously finally stopped, giving my mind some heavenly silence.

"Thanks, Aqua,"

Time to get out of this shithole.

* * *

A couple of days had passed since the Destroyer was stopped, days I had spent in relaxation.

I think I deserved it.

Myself, followed closely by Aqua, Megumin and Darkness arrived at the Guild, having heard that the bounty had come in.

We approached the front desk.

"Ah, Kazuma!" Luna greeted, "You saved us all again! I don't think this town will ever be able to repay you,"

I laughed off the praise, "I don't expect them to try. I'm plenty happy with the rewards I get from the capital to spend back on the town,"

She smiled, "I suppose you're right there,"

"Satou Kazuma!" a commanding feminine voice called, "You are under arrest for the suspicion of treason!"

Treason?

What?

I turned to face the voice.

It had originated from a long-haired brunette woman, mid-twenties in age, in a military-esque dress uniform.

"Treason?" I asked her, "What treason?"

"You are the one who ordered the teleportation of the Coronatite stone, are you not?" she demanded.

It landed in a populated area then? Fuck.

"Where did it land?" I asked, ignoring her question.

"It landed inside the mansion of one of the capital's governors!"

Well shit.

"How many died?"

"Um, well, nobody actually died. He had sent away his workers for the day, and was in the basement when the stone detonated,"

In the basement by himself, after sending all his workers away. That's definitely something I can use.

"So all I _allegedly_ did was destroy his house?" I said, picking my words carefully. Need to be careful when law enforcement is involved.

"That is correct, and that is why you are being arrested for the suspicion of treason!"

"Do you know why that call was made?"

"To dispose of the Destroyer's core, correct?" she responded.

"So you know that there was valid reasoning behind the order, but you're still arresting me?"

"Orders are orders,"

Fucking whore.

I levelled a cold glare at her, and raised my arms, palms up and fist closed.

She placed handcuffs across my wrists, as the outcry began.

"Hey! What are you doing with Kazuma! Let him go!" Aqua screamed as she strode forward to confront the woman.

"Aqua."

She froze.

"It's alright. I'm going with them willingly to sort this mess out. Nothing bad will happen, alright?"

She looked deeply pained, but nodded.

I turned back to the officer.

"Know this. Though I may be coming willingly, this arrest will _not_ be an easy one,"

Right as I finished, the adventurer from a while back, the same guy who told me about the castle walked up and spoke.

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing with Kazuma-san? He saved us! Why are you arresting him?!"

His loud calls brought the attention of the others in the Adventurers' Guild.

"He is being arrested under the suspicion of treason," she repeated.

"Treason?!" he exclaimed, incredulous, "He saved the lives of everyone in the town! What's the treason in that?!"

"I can answer that," I spoke up.

I smirked at the woman, dark glare still in place.

"When the Destroyer's core was teleported away," I spoke, volume increasing as they led me outside, "the Coronatite stone destroyed a governor's house! So now _I_, the man who created the plan to stop the destroyer, the man who led the charge when we learnt of its imminent self-destruction, the man who made allegedly made to call to dispose of the core with a random teleport, saving the town and everyone who lives in it, am being charged with _treason!_ Because _apparently,_" I yelled, the eyes of all the surrounding townsfolk now on me, "the empty house of a governor is more valuable than _all of your lives!_"

Looks of surprise and disgust spread across the townsfolks faces.

"The corruption of the capital is so _absolute_, that they would arrest a _hero_ for _treason!"_

With my tirade complete, the whispers began.

"Is it true? Did he do all that?"

"It is! I recognise him! That's Kazuma-san! He saved us before too! He defeated a Demon Army general!"

"And they are arresting him?!"

"Unjust!"

"Free our saviour!"

"Let him free you corrupt bastards!"

The screams of the people only increased in volume and intensity as we continued. Chants were taken up by dozens upon dozens of people, until there were hundreds of people following and surrounding us, all screaming abuse at the capital officers.

"FREE HIM! FREE HIM!"

"HERO! RELEASE THE HERO!"

"UNJUST! UNJUST!"

I yanked my arms back towards me, pulling the young woman who had made the arrest towards me.

She looked overwhelmed, panicked and terrified.

I leant in close and spoke directly into her ear.

"Good luck. It seems you'll need it,"

Her face was pale as she looked to the streets, hundreds of raging civilians lining the path we walked, realising the mistake she made in crossing me.

"UNJUST! UNJUST! UNJUST! UNJUST!"

* * *

**And that's the second book done!**

**I wonder how Kazuma's trial will go, considering the 'modicum' of support he has behind him.**

**I like this chapter a lot really. Not because of what happens in the story, but rather all the subtle little things I write in to shift the perspective of Kazuma.**

**Referring to the mansion as 'his', the adventurers were glad to see 'him'. My favourite was much subtler though. While before he had listed the three girls in the party in alphabetical order (at least most of it is), after the bath scene, Darkness is exclusively placed last. I love making those subtle little shifts in how it's written to give that little bit extra insight into his character.**

**And last week's chapter had the story hit 1k views in under 24 hours! That's fucking crazy! The support from everyone is so great!**

**Also, I realised that I'm interested in finding a Beta for this story. I despise going back over my story and finding little mistakes, but any time I spend reviewing could be more time spent writing. So a Beta seems like the best idea. Let me know by PM or review if you're interested!**

**That's all for this week, I'm in the groove of getting my writing done on time now lmao, so I'll see you all next chapter!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,104**

**Story: 54,737**

**P.S. 50k words! Nice.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Worry not, Darkness lovers! I have heard your prayers, and have answered!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I sat in the interrogation room of the small jail, located a kilometre out of Axel.

The door opened, and though through it stepped two full fully armoured knights, followed by the young female officer.

"Good morning, _Sena_,"

She blinked, not expecting to be referred to by name, especially when she had never told me it.

The doors let through a surprising amount of sound.

Hmm. Mid-twenties is too old. Early-twenties, maybe even 19.

She took a moment and gathered her composer composure before speaking.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked, placing a small bell on the table I was cuffed to, "It's a magic item that can see through any lies. When lies are spoken, the bell rings,"

I see. I'll have to be careful with my wording.

Thanks for the heads up, I guess.

"Satou Kazuma. Age sixteen, working as an adventurer. Your Job is that of a 'Ranger'… So, state your place of birth, and what you were doing before you started adventuring,"

I want to test this magic bell. Does it work by what is fact, or what the speaker _believes _is the truth?

"Did you hear about the Winter Shogun?" I asked pleasantly, ignoring her question.

"I heard it was defeated by a strong adventurer," she answered instinctively, before narrowing her eyes, "Wait, you didn't answer my question,"

I smiled.

Perfect.

"Sorry, sorry. I come from Earth, that's where I was born," the bell stayed silent, "And before becoming an adventurer? I was a student,"

She looked to the bell, where it sat, silent.

"Tell me something, _Sena_, do you think I'm particularly strong? I reckon I'm doing pretty good,"

She deadpanned.

"No, I don't think you're particularly strong. Nor do I care,"

Woops, forgot to test if it works on others, rather than just me.

I looked straight into her violet eyes.

"How often do you masturbate?"

"Huh? I-I d-don't-"

_Ring_

I laughed.

"Naughty Sena. Shouldn't you set a good example?"

"I'm sorry," I said with a smirk "please continue your interrogation,"

She visibly fought the flush in her cheeks.

"Why did you become an adventurer?" she asked after a moment.

"For fun,"

She again looked at the silent bell.

"Do you bear any grudges against the governor?"

I laughed.

"Well I do _now_, y'know, considering he's trying to get me executed. Before yesterday, I had never even heard of him,"

Silence.

"Very well. Do-"

"Look, I'm just gonna cut to the chase," I said with an eye-roll, "I do not work for the Demon King, his army, or any of his associates. The call I _allegedly_ made was to protect myself and the people around me, and was not meant with any hostile intent,"

Her eyes flicked to the still un-ringing bell.

She sighed.

"I see. I apologise. It seems I was deeply mistaken. I let rumours get in the way of doing my job correctly,"

"Rumours?" I groaned, "Was it from a guy called Mitsurugi? Tall, blond, with expensive blue armour?"

She nodded.

I sighed.

"That jackass has it out for me,"

I really should kill him off.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did he tell me such rumours?"

"He seemed to think that Aqua, the blue haired girl in my party, was being mistreated, and decided it was his responsibility to help her, despite what she told him. He seems to think that every girl _wants_ him, considering he offered the other women in my party places in _his _party. So we duelled. I beat him fair and square, despite being 30 levels under, took his enchanted sword as spoils, and sold it,"

The bell was silent.

She stood and bowed.

"I am very sorry Kazuma-san. I trusted scum like him before even asking your opinion,"

I waved off her apology. "Don't worry about it. Hey, think you could help me with something that definitely isn't hiding Mitsurugi's body?"

She snickered lightly.

"Okay," she said, "There are just a few more questions I need you to answer, then you can go free. You have no relations with anyone in the Demon King army, right?"

"No. I-"

_Ring_

Her eyes hardened.

Wiz.

"God fucking dammit. I can explain that; I didn't think of-"

"Explain it to the court,"

Bitch.

I was quickly escorted back to my cell.

With nothing else to do, I practiced fine control of my magic, did some physical exercise, then, when it became night-time, I lay laid in bed to get some sleep.

A tremor passed through the ground beneath me.

"Psst! Kazuma, over here!" Aqua whispered.

She was at the singular barred window.

I got up and walked over to her.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered back up to her, the window 2 two and a half metres off the ground.

"I'm here to save you! Megumin and Darkness are off creating a diversion to attract the attention of the guards,"

"And how am I gonna escape through solid iron?"

"Here!" she whispered, handing me a long piece of wire, "Use that to pick the lock on your cell door! Just like a manga! Then you can use your 'Hide' skills and sneak past the guards! I'll be waiting outside, and then we'll go back to the mansion, get all our stuff, and escape! Do you understand?"

I looked at the wire in my hands.

Then the door.

Then back at Aqua.

"That's a combination lock."

Her eyes widened.

"Drat! They're smarter than I thought. Alright then, it's good I had a plan B! Take this saw, and we'll cut through the bars for you to escape!" she said, handing me a small hand saw.

"The bars are too high for me to reach though,"

"Don't worry! I've got a stepping stool for you to use!"

"How are you going to get it through the bars?"

"Eh? Um, one moment please,"

Fucking idiot.

"Please sir! It's very important for Kazuma to have this stool!"

Are you serious?

"What? Why would a prisoner need a stool so bad? And what are you doing here this late at night? Get out of here!"

After a minute, a mopey Aqua reappeared at the window.

"I'm sorry Kazuma. I couldn't get it in. I don't know what to do!" she said, getting progressively more upset.

"It's okay Aqua. I have a plan. Instead of breaking out, I just need to win the court case,"

"B-but Darkness said the Governor is despicable and petty person! He'll use his influence to twist the facts to get you killed!" she said, nearly in tears.

"Then we use his influence against him! If everyone in the capital thinks I'm innocent and being held unfairly, they'll have to let me go, or the public outcry will lose him his job! Head to the capital and spread the word! Use my family name too! There was another hero called 'Satou', right?"

"You're right! You're a genius Kazuma! I'll ask everyone if they've seen you, then when they ask who you are, I'll tell them all the great stuff you've done!"

That… That's _very_ clever. Pity _and_ righteous anger _and_ nostalgia.

"Yes! Take Megumin and Darkness with you, then wait by the entrance for when I arrive! We'll be leaving tomorrow morning, I heard, so be ready by midday,"

She nodded vigorously.

"Okay Kazuma. I _will_ get you free, I swear it on my divinity," she said, eyes on mine with an unending degree of determination.

With her piece spoken, she turned and ran home.

* * *

When it comes to court in this world, there are no lawyers.

The prosecutor collects evidence to present to the Judge, and the accused is defended by a representative, usually a friend or family.

If the judge concludes that the charges are true, he will pass judgement.

I had arrived at the capital in a cage, drawn behind horses and flanked on all sides by guards.

Aqua, Megumin and Darkness had been waiting on the main road just after the gate, where the town was busiest.

"Satou Kazuma! Satou Kazuma! What's going on?" Aqua yelled fearfully as she ran towards me, "They have to let you go! You saved everyone, so why are you in a cage?" she said, tears running freely.

Whispers from the crowd broke out. They had heard of me already.

A guard moved to intercept her.

"Don't you touch her!" Darkness screamed at him, jumping forward, "First you arrest our party member, a hero of everyone in Axel, then you try to hurt a crying young girl? Does your corrupted mind know no bounds?!"

The whispers grew louder, bolder.

That was _smooth_.

Maybe Darkness is worth more than just a meat-shield.

"He saved us all!" Megumin yelled from the street, "Let him go!"

The townsfolk grew louder and the guards grew more anxious.

"Is it true?" an old man asked as he stepped forward. The crowd quietenedquieted, listening to the man. "You are Satou Kazuma?"

I nodded.

"I heard about you… You defeated the Destroyer. That _thing_ killed my wife., and Mmy children and _their_ children live in Axel,"

He walked up to the cage, a tear forming.

"I can never thank you enough,"

Oh my. Thank you for stepping so close.

I smiled kindly, and stretched out a hand.

He reached forward with his own.

"Enough!" A guard yelled, stepping forward and pushing the man bodily away from the cage I was locked in.

He cried in surprise as he fell, then pain as he landed.

The crowd was shocked into silence.

Then the uproar began.

My party mates were sprinkled into the crowd, both Aqua and Darkness falling back into it as the old man stepped forward.

They shouted, spurring others in the crowd to follow their lead, their emotional cries motivating the people around them.

Chants started up among the people.

"FREE HIM! FREE HIM! FREE HIM!"

"UNJUST! UNJUST! UNJUST!"

It has begun.

The stupid governor doesn't stand a chance.

* * *

"ORDER! Order in the court!" the judge screamed over the chanting masses.

The yelling died down slowly.

The judge sighed before turning to me.

"The trial of Satou Kazuma of Axel, against the plaintiff Alexei Barnes Alderp, begins now! Please know that lie detection magic is in use" he said, motioning at to the bell in front of him.

A fat man stood up with the vocal que of the judge.

He was tall and bulky, his balding head shiny. A middle-aged man covered in body hair.

He eyed me warily, but quickly his gaze shifted to my female companions, slowing taking in their figures.

Megumin, then Aqua, then Darkness.

But on Darkness, he paused.

He blinked in surprise, and… was that recognition?

He knows her. He is wary of her.

I need to keep that in mind.

"Satou Kazuma, you stand here accused of treason. Who do you wish to stand as your representative?"

"I will represent myself. These are my associates, and witnesses," I answered professionally gesturing at the three women behind me.

"Very well. Sena Hitomi of the Royal Guard **(She doesn't actually have a family name, so I gave her the same one as her voice actor)**. You stand as the prosecutor. Please present your case,"

She nodded.

"The accused; Satou Kazuma, took part with other adventurers in the battle against the Destroyer when it approached the town of Axel. During the battle, he gave the order to send the Coronatite core, that was going to explode, away via teleportation. Moments later, the Coronatite appeared in the mansion of the plaintiff. Said mansion was completely destroyed. Right now, lord Alderp is forced to live at an inn within the city," she stated firmly.

"When transporting monsters, drugs and dangerous items such as explosives," she continued, "the use of random teleportation is prohibited. It is stated clearly in the law, and the instruction given out by the accused clearly violates this law. Also, threatening the life of the governor could potentially shake the foundation of the nation. Hence, the prosecution requests for the accused to be found guilty of treason!"

The judge nodded in understanding.

He turned to me.

"I grant permission for the defendant and his associates to speak. You may now plead your case,"

"Thank you. Once we had disabled the Destroyer, through a plan of my own making, it let out a warning. The reactor, a Coronatite core, was approaching critical temperatures. By stopping its movement, it was no longer able to vent the heat created by its reactor,"

I looked around at the crowd.

"By saving the town, I had doomed it to destruction in a different way. We didn't know how powerful the destruction caused by the core would be. For all we knew, it could wipe the entire town from existence. So instead of evacuating, I lead a team of adventurers aboard the downed Destroyer. Once we got on top of it, we discovered the captain's quarters, and discovered through his journal that he was literally a stupid no-life who had taken pleasure in the destruction of his nation. I found the core after a few minutes, but I had no way to stop it, or cool it down sufficiently. Fortunately, we had with us a powerful Arch-Wizard by the name of Wiz, who had access to the 'Teleport' skill. _Un_fortunately, the only targets available were; Axel, here in the capital, on into the dungeon,"

I looked into the eyes of the judge.

"I could either leave it be, let it kill myself," I said, thumb pointed onto my chest, "my friends," I waved an arm behind me, "and everyone _else _at Axel, _or_ I teleport it to random area. With no other viable options, I told Wiz to use a random teleport. Probability says it should land in an area untouched by man, but I wasn't so lucky. It instead landed in governor Alderp's mansion,"

I looked at the man.

"It's very lucky that his mansion was completely vacant, with the exception of governor Alderp, who was safely inside his basement, so there were no deaths and no injuries,"

I looked back to the judge.

"In my eyes, this is a nearly perfect outcome, and I would do so again to protect those around me. My decision was justified, and I am not guilty,"

The judge looked at the bell, which had remained totally silent.

"Prosecutor? You may now present your evidence,"

"First witness! Please take the stand!"

Up to the stand came Chris, who was hurried along by the guards.

She stood quietly, nervously scratching at the thin scar on her face.

"The accused here used the skill 'Steal' against you, stripping you of your panties in public. Is that correct?"

"Um, yes. But it wasn't inte-"

"You only need to clarify the truthfulness of the statement. Nothing more is needed,"

Cheeky bitch.

"Objection! The prosecutor is withholding necessary information in the form of context!" I yelled.

The judge looked at me.

"Sustained,"

"Chris here is a friend of mine. She was kind enough to teach me some of the thief skills when I was starting out as an adventurer. One of said skills was 'Steal'. She, after demonstrating it on myself, allowed me to try it on her in return. The 'Steal' skill gives you one item in possession of the target based on luck, and what the target finds value in. The fact that the resulting item was her panties, which I swiftly returned, by the way, was due to random chance. The only one you can blame for that is Eris-sama herself,"

Everyone looked to the bell.

It stayed silent.

The judge then looked to Chris.

"Is what he said correct? Do you hold any disdain for the accused?"

"Yes,," she responded firmly, "he is correct," she responded firmly,. "I hold no disdain for him at all. In fact, he is a close friend,"

He nodded.

"Prosecutor, you are to allow witnesses to give full statements from now on,"

She bowed.

"Yes, your honour. Please bring forward the second witness!"

Mitsurugi, because of _course_ it was him, made his way to the podium.

"Mitsurugi-san," Sena began, "I heard your magic sword was stolen by the accused and later sold. Is this true?"

"Yeah! He stole my sword when I tried to protect his 'friend'" he said, making air quotes, "who he had trapped in a cage!"

Oh. You are _definitely_ gonna die.

The bell rung.

The judge looked at Mitsurugi.

"Something you said was false. What was it?" he asked.

"I didn't lie," Mitsurugi denied.

_Ring_

The crowd whispered.

"Your honour?" I spoke, getting his attention, "I can answer that,"

"Proceed,"

"He lied about two things. I didn't steal his sword. I _won_ _it_, fair and square. And second, Aqua," I said, gesturing at her, "wasn't trapped. In a quest to purify a lake, we had used it to keep her protected from the monsters. Afterwards, she was 'too tired'" I said with air quotes of my own, "to walk like the rest of us. Upon re-entering town, Mitsurugi saw us, and took it upon himself to 'free' her, bending away the bars of the cage, costing us a significant amount in the process. He then challenged me, who was 30 levels lower, to a duel, where he would _take_ Aqua as his prize, regardless of her desire to stay,"

Try get outta that one, fuck-head.

"I accepted the duel, on the rule that it be hand-to-hand combat only. I then thoroughly beat him, knocked him unconscious, and took his sword as my _own_ prize. The sword ended up being cursed. It was only usable in Mitsurugi's hands, so I sold it so that I may get some reward out of it,"

The judge looked to the bell once more, then nodded.

"Mitsurugi-san, due to lying in court, you are expelled from this session and fined 200,000 Eris,"

"What?! That's not fair!"

_Ring_

"That bastard stole my sword!"

_Ring_

"Guards? Please escort Mitsurugi-san from the court,"

Two guards appeared, and began the process of dragging the man out the door, who all the while was screaming obscenities.

"And what's with all this 'evidence'?" I asked with air quotes, "None of it is to do with the subject at all! You're just tryna make me out as a bad person!"

"You want evidence?" she asked, "When asked if you have any associates in the Demon King army, you answered no, but the bell detected a lie! You're also able to use the 'Drain Touch' skill, a skill only available to the undead!"

Good thing I'd prepared for this.

"First; 'Drain Touch'. My job is 'Ranger', which means I am able to learn _any_ skill, regardless of the other's job. I have been exposed to countless undead. Beldia, the general of the Demon King army we defeated, his minions, all the evil spirits that appeared in our house, and Keele, the creator of Keele's dungeon. You don't think I could have learnt it from one of them?" I explained casually.

"Secondly; my associate in the Demon King army,"

Everyone waited for my answer.

"She's something of a spy,"

The bell was quiet, but the court was not.

"A spy?!" Sena yelled, "You must reveal who she is at once!"

"No,"

The fat fuck named Alderp stood.

"He's hiding it from us! He tried to kill me! Sentence him to death!"

"I am not working with the Demon King army. There. If _she_," I gestured at Sena, "wants to accuse me by Bell, then that invalidates any evidence she has,"

"Satou Kazuma-san," Sena addressed me, "You _must _reveal who your spy is,"

"No. She has saved countless lives already. I _will not_ put her in danger,"

"Put him to death!" Alderp screamed.

The judge sighed.

"Due to a lack of substantial incriminating evidence, and _overwhelming_ evidence against; I hereby find Satou Kazuma innocent of all-"

"Put. Him. To. _Death!_" Alderp screamed at the judge.

Sena seemed unsure of her position, "N-no one was hurt. _Surely_ the death penalty is too much,"

Alderp glared at her.

"No, surely the death penalty is most appropriate,"

Foul play.

Despite having said the words herself, she seemed surprised and confused by the words that left her mouth.

Magic?

Seems this Alderp fuck could be more dangerous than I thought.

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"

"I detect an evil presence! Someone is using dark magic to twist thought and fact!"

Definitely Alderp. Or someone who's using him.

The judge cleared his throat, Ignoring ignoring Aqua's outburst.

Defendant Satou Kazuma. Taking into account your inhumane actions and your disruption of the peace; "I find the sentence motioned by the prosecutor to be adequate. The accused is found guilty and sentenced to death!"

"Foul play!" screamed a member of the crowd.

"Let him go!"

"He's a hero!"

"UNJUST!"

"FREE HIM!"

"ORDER!" the judge screamed, "Order in the court!"

The chanting lowered in volume, but it was still, ever present.

"Your honour, please take a look at this," Darkness said over the crowd.

From her chest, she produced and exposed a pendant.

High quality, with an insignia upon its face.

The judge, and crowd, were shocked into silence.

My my, why didn't you tell me you had a rich and powerful family Darkness? I would have made you the happiest girl in the world.

But now it's too late. My behaviour is already too well established.

Eh, I'm still her friend, I guess, so I can get benefits from that.

"Pardon me, could you suspend the trial for me?" Darkness said in a regal tone, "I don't wish to get the prosecutor to throw the case out. I just need time to prove that this man is not a minion of the demon king army, and is innocent. In the meantime, he can gather funds to repair your mansion,"

Alderp protested weakly, barely managing words.

"Alderp. As the victim in all this, you could count this as me owing you a favour. If it is within my means, I can do anything for you. I am not asking you to withdraw the charges, I just hope you can wait a while longer,"

He gulped.

"A-anything?"

His lecherous eyes followed her figure, up, then down.

I am going to carve this man to pieces. Slowly.

"Yes, anything,"

"Alright. Upon your request, I will extend the date of the trial,"

Piece by bloody piece he will fall apart.

* * *

"You shouldn't have done that Darkness,"

"It was the only option,"

"No it wasn't!" I yelled at her, "You don't need to offer up your _body_ to scum like that! I could have gotten out somehow! I could have escaped! The public certainly would have helped me! But instead you're _sacrificing_ yourself," I said in 'outrage'.

She grabbed my arms and held them by my sides.

"Kazuma," she said quietly, "Don't worry. Let me help properly this time, okay?"

"I- I jus-" I stopped and took a breath. "Okay Darkness. And don't _you_ worry, I'll get you a way out of doing _that_,"

She smiled, and wrapped me in a hug, one I returned.

"So," I asked, after she broke off the hug, "Where'd you steal that necklace from?"

"Wh- I didn't _steal_ it!" she deniedstammered in denial.

I snickered.

She batted an arm at me.

"Really though, what does it symbolize?"

"It means I'm a member of the Dustiness Ford family. We are seconded only to the Royal Family in terms of wealth and political power,"

I let out a low whistle.

"And that Alderp fucker knew you from there?"

"Eh? You don't want anything because of my family?"

"My opinions of you remain the same, regardless of your family. You're still a filthy masochist in my eyes,"

She supressed a moan.

God fucking dammit.

"So? Alderp knew you?"

"Ah! Right! Yes. Since his wife died, he's had an unhealthy obsession with me. He's asked my father to marry me numerous times,"

"By Eris, how desperate is he?!" Megumin exclaimed.

"Very, it would seem," I answered.

"So," Aqua began, "What do we do now?"

"We need money. I have quite a bit, but not nearly enough to rebuild a mansion. I don't just have 10 billion Eris laying around. And Aqua, you said you saw dark magic? Do you know what kind? And from where?"

"I didn't see where, but it was definitely demonic magic. Real demonic magic. Not some substitute from an undead, but from a real devil," she answered.

"And he definitely knew about it," I said, "Almost certainly controlling it too,"

They all nodded.

"Well," Megumin said, "We've got lots more time now, so why don't we worry about getting money first, and we can work on proving he's evil while we do it,"

I smiled and pet her head lightly.

"Sounds like a plan. Alright gang, how's about we head home?"

* * *

My first stop after getting home was to visit Wiz.

I wanted to go alone, but Aqua wouldn't take the hint, and kept following me around.

"Ah, I get it! She caused you all this trouble with that teleport spell, so you're gonna rob her blind, right?"

I rolled my eyes.

I appreciate the enthusiasm, and the idea, but no.

"No, we're not robbing her. Not this time, at least," Aqua looked disappointed, "Wiz is a Lich, and has been alive on this planet for who knows how long. Which _means_, she'll have contacts. She'll know the kind of people who can get us money fast,"

"Oohhh. I see, I see,"

We opened the front door and stepped through.

"Hello! Welcome to my- Ah! Kazuma-san! You're okay! I'm so sorry you got arrested because of me," Wiz said.

Aqua crossed her arms under her bust. "So long as you understand,"

"Aqua," I said in warning.

She raised her hands in surrender and let me speak.

"Hello Wiz. Don't worry, it was my call to teleport the stone. Unfortunately, we are now stuck having to pay for the governor's mansion. But," I trailed off, "We don't really have the funds,"

Wiz looked at us with sympathy.

"I would help you pay, I really would, but I'm barely scrapping by with my shop as-is. I can't afford to help you,"

"Don't worry. I understand that, and I don't expect you to pay. I came here for a different reason,"

She looked at me curiously.

"You've been 'alive' for a long time Wiz, and I feel that you would have… _connections_ to certain people that may be able to help us,"

Her eyes widened in understanding.

"I have many ideas for things I can produce to increase quality of life in this world, but I don't have the means to create then all, or in sufficient quantities. Do you perhaps know someone who could?"

"I do. But he is… unpredictable, to say the least. I knew him back in my army days. He ended up becoming another of the Demon King's generals, in fact. The Duke of Hell, Vanir,"

* * *

"Hey Kazuma! Is Darkness back yet?" Aqua asked me.

It had been a couple of days since the hearing.

I was currently working on creating a design plan for a steam engine. In my past life, I had memorised the plans for some of the most influential technological advancements during the Industrial Revolution, like the steam engine and the loom, in the meagre hope that I be transported to another world and become incredibly rich.

Seems my delusional dedication was paying off.

Darkness had set off last night, stating that she would go and fulfil her favour.

I had tried to stop her, but she had refused my help, and left by herself.

It had been some time since then.

Eh. I didn't don't control her.

Not yet at least.

If she wanted to sleep with the sleazy fucker then that was her choice.

I shook my head no at Aqua's question, and went back to my design.

Megumin entered the room, hugging something to her chest.

It mewled.

A cat?

I turned to Megumin.

I looked at the cat.

It was a black ball of fluff. Small and lithe with a near-red cross on its forehead.

I looked back at Megumin, but she remained silent.

"What? You want to keep it?"

She nodded.

"Yes. She's well behaved, and won't cause trouble for anyone… Is it okay to keep her here?"

"Uhh… I guess so? I don't think anyone has a cat allergy, so it should be fine," I said as I stood and walked over.

I held out a hand, fingers pointed down and palm towards me, and let her catch my scent.

She sniffed at my hand, then playfully batted at my fingers, claws carefully retracted.

She blinked at me lazily as I lifted my fingers and drew them through her soft fur, dragging them across her scalp and behind her ears.

She purred in response.

Aqua came over and attempted to offer the same treatment, but was immediately met with claws.

I like this cat.

"That hurts! Why is this cat only clawing me! What is going on? be Be it the black fur, or that arrogant attitude… I can feel the flames of evil emitting from the body of this cat!"

I ignored her, a very important skill I had developed over the past few weeks.

"What's her name?" I asked, carefully taking her into my arms.

"Chomusuke,"

Huh?

"Come again?"

"Her name is Chomusuke,"

I sucked a breath in through my teeth.

You poor, poor, kitty. Must be tough having such a weirdo as an owner.

I grabbed some leftover fish, and placed it on the floor, along with 'Chomusuke'.

She didn't eat it immediately, but sniffed at it curiously.

"I… I don't think that name suits her terribly well, honestly,"

"No. Her name is Chomusuke,"

Sorry buddy, I tried.

Aqua then started posing different names to Megumin, all of which she denied without hesitation.

Then Chomusuke spit fire at the piece of fish, cooking it.

She then took it in her mouth and began eating.

Excuse me?

"Um," I whispered to Aqua, "Do, uh, cats breathe fire in this world?"

"Huh? Of course not! It's just a cat!"

Oh.

It definitely breathed fire just now though.

I grabbed more fish, and knelt, offering it to Chomusuke.

She sniffed once more, but turned her head away.

I used my magic and conjured a small flame, slowly cooking the meat.

Without stopping the flow of mana, I offered it to the cat.

Now much eager, she took the fish from my hand, completely unaffected by the fire, and began eating.

That's… something.

Definitely something.

"Huh,"

I began petting her again, with more purrs as a response.

"What were you guys talking about before, anyway? Darkness isn't a ked kid anymore. It's not like you have to worry about her," Megumin asked.

"Didn't you see the looks the governor was giving her? She's gone going to do him a 'favour',"

"Well, I did hear some bad rumours about him, but Darkness is an adventurer. I doubt she'll just let him have his way with her,"

Has she met Darkness?

I raised an eyebrow.

She looked confused for a moment, before realisation flashed across her face.

"We- We have to save her! Darkness is in danger! What do we do Kazuma?!"

"She left last night. It's already too late. When she gets back, we'll just have to treat her as gently as possible,"

She nodded frantically, her face pale in helplessness.

"Satou Kazuma! Is Satou Kazuma here?!" yelled a feminine voice from the front door.

Sena barged through the door, pushing her way inside.

"Hey! You're trespassing! Get out of my house!" I yelled in return.

"Eh? Err, sorry," she replied, backing up until she was outside.

I walked up to the door, but remained inside.

"What do you want?"

Her face was red, and her shoulders shook in anger.

"What I _want_," she said, barely containing her rage.

It was actually kinda funny how angry she was.

"is for you to be arrested! I can't believe you had the _gall_ to cause another mess,"

Huh?

"The fuck are you talking about? I got out of court _two days ago_, and since then I've spent every waking second trying to build the funds necessary to rebuild the house of that petty, lecherous, old _fuck_ for a 'crime' that wasn't my fucking _fault. _And _you_ have the 'gall' to blame me for something else? What fucking mess are you even talking about?!"

She was startled by my outburst, but quickly regained her composure.

"The toads! All of the giant toads come out of hibernation early, and their they're all running amuck outside town!" she yelled back.

"Oh, so now I have the ability to control the hibernation patterns of frogs, do I?" I laughed at her, "Please inform me of when I was granted access to this _incredible_ ability!"

"_Well_, according to the Guild staff, the toads came out of hibernation, _scared_. Startled. Maybe by large shockwaves going off near where they rested?"

God.

Fucking.

Dammit.

Breathe in.

And breathe out.

I turned around to the two women that were slowly slinking away.

I grabbed their collars and hauled them around to the door.

"Go," I told them, "Go fix the mess you made,"

"Wait! Let me explain!" Megumin bargained, "I only did it because Aqua _asked_ me to! She was the mastermind behind it all! Not me!"

"Wha? How sly! Weren't you super excited? You even said 'Let me show you my power!' in a dramatic voice and everything!"

"I _said;_ 'Go fix the mess you made'!"

* * *

"Noo-! I don't wanna get eaten by toooaads!" Aqua screamed as she ran.

"To think the toads would still be so mobile, even in this whetherweather. They're quite impressive, really," I mused aloud.

"Conditions are harsh in this part of the world. Everything must adapt if it wishes to survive, including us," Megumin said.

It would seem like very wise words, if not for Megumin's position, submerged up to her shoulders in a toad's mouth.

I could see small bumps on the skin of the toad at roughly her foot height.

Was she standing on her staff?

Megumin had become over-excited, and used 'Explosion', rendering her helpless as a toad decided she looked like a good meal.

I sighed.

"Hold on," I told her, drawing my sword, "I'll get you out,"

She shook her head.

"No, I'm fine. Go get Aqua first. It's nice and warm in here,"

I shrugged, and placed the blade back into the sheath, instead drawing the recurve bow from my back.

I pulled an arrow from the quiver behind my right shoulder, and nocked it, drawing it back.

"One of your party is being chased around by toads, and the other is being _eaten_," Sena exclaimed in disbelief, "How are you still so calm?"

"Eh. This is pretty much the norm at this point,"

"Kazuma-ha-ha! Save me already!"

I let the arrow fly, silently using 'Snipe' as I released it.

The arrow struck true, lodging solidly through the toad's eye. It died immediately, but its momentum carried it forward, and it fell to the ground with a mighty crash.

Aqua slowly moved back to the group, breathing heavily.

"Th… Thank you Kazuma," she said, finishing with a sigh.

"Umm, I don't mean to alarm you," Megumin said from within the toad, "but there are more toads coming,"

I turned.

Three more toads were making their way towards us.

I growled.

I quickly returned my bow to my back, and pointed my palm at the earth.

Or more accurately, the snow.

I pushed my mana through my skin and into the world, directing it into the snow beneath my feet. I turned on my heal, dragging the snow with me, accelerating, and compacting it. I threw the newly created spike of ice at the toad containing Megumin.

It pierced the skin with ease, continuing through it bodily, barely slowing.

The toad died near instantly, and I quickly helped Megumin out of its mouth, and onto my back once it had fallen to the floor.

I turned and drew my sword with one hand, the other supporting Megumin on my back.

"'Saber of Light'!" cried a feminine voice.

The far-left toad was covered in a gentle white glow for a moment, before it vanished, and the toad split down the centre, neatly bisected.

"'Energy Ignition'!" The voice called again, and this time, the remaining two toads ignited, fire spontaneously erupting from their flesh, searing it in moments, until they too, collapsed dead.

I looked to the origin of the voice.

A young girl, a littler older than Megumin.

She stood tall with apparel very similar to that of Megumin, but the similarities didn't stop there, as she shared a similar facial structure, hair colour and style, and glowing crimson eyes.

One thing that did differ was her figure.

Mmm.

I nodded my head to the girl in thanks, as she came over to us.

"Thanks," I said, once she was closer, "You really helped us out here,"

Her cheeks flushed and she hurried to deny it.

"I-i-it's not that I planned to save you, it just wouldn't be right to let my rival," she looked at Megumin, "go out because of some toads,"

"You and Megumin know each other?" Aqua asked in excitement.

"Rather than just _know_ each other, we're rivals! Long-time no-see, Megumin! As promised, I have returned after completing my training! As you can see, I can use top level magic freely now! Alright, it's time to fulfil the promise I made! I will settle our long time rivalry today!" the girl exclaimed, pointing at Megumin excitedly.

"Who are you again?" she said.

I wacked the top of her head.

"Don't pretend like you don't know her! I can tell you're pretending,"

I could feel the pout, even if I couldn't see it.

She sighed, then began her explanation.

"This is Yunyun,"

Oh god, the names are so damn weird.

"While I was always number 1 one at the Crimson Magic Academy, Yunyun was always in second,"

"Right!" the newly named Yunyun confirmed, "I've just gotten back from my journey of training! Now I can freely use top-tier magic!"

That's very impressive.

And something I very much want.

"Well Yunyun, I have a proposition for you,"

She looked at me curiously.

"You are very skilled in the ways of magic," she flushed again, but didn't deny it, "How would you like to join my party?"

* * *

**Another chapter done!**

**I now have a Beta! Big thanks to GildedTruth! And to 'andohmygodcholesterol' for pointing me to the Discord server where I found them (please put your proffered pronoun here Truth)him. Sorry for not replying to you, 'Isamaru', by the way, and thanks heaps for your offer, I just thought I'd see what options presented themselves before I made my choice.**

**So! Chomusuke and Yunyun join the battle! Huzzah!**

**And I'm sure absolutely no-one predicted that Kazuma would offer her a spot in the party lol.**

**Thanks to 'SaintInfernalNeos' and the guest reviewer 'ss21' for pointing out my lack of content involving Darkness, hopefully you guys liked this chapter! I'll be working hard to make sure all the characters get a decent amount of attention from now on.**

**That's all for this week, see you next Friday!**

**Your's sincerely, H3ctic**

**P.S. 20,000 views and 300 follows! Holy fuck!**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,401**

**Story: 61,138**


	11. Chapter 11

**WARNING: This chapter contains violence and mild gore. I've marked the beginning and end so that you can skip it if you want.**

**Enjoy!**

"You… You want _me _in your party?" Yunyun asked, surprised.

"Yes. Very much so," I answered.

"But… Why?"

Does she have _any_ self-confidence?

"Uh… Because you're a skilled Arch-Wizard with a myriad of powerful spells?"

"But you already have Megumin," she countered.

I tilted my head in acknowledgement.

"Yeah, but Megumin here," I began, tapping the girl on the head, "is a trump card, not a continuous damage dealer. _You_ however, fit that role perfectly. A role that we've needed on in the party since the beginning. So? Would you like to join? I can offer accommodation and food,"

"But what about my name? How do I know you won't tease me because I'm called Yunyun?"

No self-confidence, and little respect either.

"Her name is _Megumin_,"

"Hey!"

"And we have a cat called _Chomusuke_. Yunyun isn't anything out of the norm," I said with a smile.

She blinked.

"You have Chomusuke?" she asked in surprise.

"Oh, you know her? Yeah, we do. Wanna come see her?"

She nodded slowly, shyly.

I used 'Drain Touch' to put a bit on Life Force back into Megumin so she could stand by herself.

"C'mon then. I don't know about you, but it's getting cold pretty damn quick. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Satou Kazuma. This is Aqua," I pointed at her, "and that's Sena, part of the Royal Guard who keeps following me around. I think she might have something of a crush on me,"

"I do not!"

So easy.

"I'm following you under suspicion of treason!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't listen to her Yunyun. I proved under Bell that I'm not treasonous,"

"Um, okay. And Megumin! I nearly forgot, but I challenge you to a duel! I've come back stronger than ever, and I'm ready to finally beat you!" she exclaimed, a finger pointed at the smile slime covered girl.

"Ohoh? You think you can beat me? Well, I'm out of mana at the moment, so it'll have to be a physical duel!" Megumin returned.

"Really? Even though you never took the physical classes back at the academy?"

Megumin nodded.

"Alright then. Today I bet this Manatite stone! It's of a high quality, and very valuable to mages everywhere! Today I'll beat you for sure!" Yunyun exclaimed, "Um, actually. Megumin, you look kinda shiny…"

Megumin smirked.

"Yes. I'm currently covered in the slime from the insides of the toads. If you get close to me, I'll tackle you and cover you in the juices!"

"You… You wouldn't do that… Right? You're just trying to trick me into surrendering, right? Right? Megumin?"

Megumin charged.

Yunyun turned tail and fled.

"No! I don't wanna get covered in toad slime! I give up! Nooo!"

Megumin slowly covered ground, and dived at Yunyun, grabbed her around the waist and brought her to the ground in a spectacular tackle.

I walked over to the two girls.

An evilly grinning Megumin on top of a protesting Yunyun.

"Let her go you, she's had enough," I said as I dragged Megumin off the larger girl.

I offered a hand to Yunyun, tears in her eyes.

"Come on, we've got a bath at home. You can use that,"

She wiped at the tears with her sleeve.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"Yeah. You helped us out, so it's only fair we return the favour, right?"

People like this, you can never _give_ them anything. You've gotta phrase it like their they're doing something for _you_, or they'll just refuse it.

I really don't get it.

Just always take as much from people as you can get away with and life is _so_ much easier.

"I… I guess so," she conceded.

She took my hand and I pulled her to her feet.

"Oh, by the way, dibs on the first bath," I said casually.

Megumin gasped.

"Dibs! Damn it!" she exclaimed, realising she was too late.

Yunyun giggled.

Megumin pouted.

"Well if you get first bath, you can carry me home!" she claimed, jumping onto my back.

"What? I got first dibs fair and square! Why do I have to carry you?!" I cried in mock anger.

I could hear her smirk as she spoke.

"Do it or I'll leave the party," she claimed with equal levels of sincerity.

"Extortion!"

**Line break here**

After taking her bath, Yunyun decided to leave.

She wasn't comfortable with taking a bed as well as a bath.

She also didn't answer my original question, of joining the party, but I didn't push her for it.

It'd be better to give her time to think about it, and being pushy would just drive her away.

"Alright," I told Aqua and Megumin, "I've actually got some stuff to do tonight,"

They looked at me questioningly.

I smiled, "Nothing exciting," I told them, "Work related stuff. I'll be back before morning, but don't wait up for me,"

With my explanation accepted, I bid them goodnight, and stepped into the frigid winter air.

First stop; Wiz's shop.

I quickly made my way there and stopped outside.

Using my 'Chameleon' magic, and the window as a mirror, I manufactured deep, dark bags under my eyes, like I had spent the last three days wide awake.

I ran a hand through my hair, roughing it up, and jostled my clothing around.

I looked back at the window and put on a tired face.

I looked absolutely exhausted.

Perfect.

I finally opened the door and stepped through, the small bell above me jiggling cheerily.

"Hello!" came Wiz's voice, "How can I help you? Ah, Kazuma-san! Are you alright?"

"Hey Wiz," I greeted, voice hoarse, "Could be better,"

"I'll say…" She commented, "Not to be rude Kazuma-san, but you look awful,"

I let out a laugh.

"Yeah, I suppose I do. I haven't slept much the last couple of days. Been a bit stressed,"

Her eyes widened in realisation.

"Do you have anything that could put me to sleep all the way to morning, by any chance?" I requested.

"O-of course! I've got a few. I'll get them now for you Kazuma-san," she responded.

"Oh, by the way; have you got any that won't show up if they do magic scans of me? I don't wanna chance getting in trouble with the law over anything else," I said, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.

Wiz smiled kindly, "Sure Kazuma-san. I've got one, but it'll take a while longer to take effect. Nearly half an hour,"

She disappeared into the back room, and reappeared a minute later, a small vial filled with a clear liquid in her hands.

She handed the vial too me.

"Here you are Kazuma-san, on the house," she said quietly, a smile on her face.

I smiled back in appreciation, "Thanks Wiz. You're a life saver,"

She giggled, "It's no problem. Sleep well Kazuma-san,"

I waved the vial towards her as I stepped towards the door.

"I'm sure I will,"

Done.

Next stop; clothing.

I entered a small clothing store at the centre of town and began picking out an items I wanted. Then I visited another store and picked out a second, and repeated for a third.

With the defeat of the Destroyer and Demon Army general, the small town had seen a huge economical boost, leading to a great increase in salesmen, merchants, tourism, and accommodation.

I purchased a simple brown cloak, a red undershirt, and black pants.

Then I found a place to change. I stole my way into an empty inn room, and with the mirror, and my 'Chameleon' skill, I shifted my appearance.

My hair changed from light brown to a dirty blond. My eyes shifted from chocolate brown to bright blue.

With my changes complete, I headed towards the Guild.

On the way there, I picked up a short-sword from a new blacksmith.

The blade was cheap, but strong and sharp, and was easily sufficient for what I planned.

I entered the guild and walked to the bar.

I made sure to appear slightly timid, like a newer adventurer.

I surveyed the hall.

He was here.

Perfect.

I purchased a drink and took a seat near a young woman who was stealing glances at _him_.

I took the vial out from my pocket and confidently poured it into the drink.

Confidence is key in these situations.

If you try to be subtle, you stand out more, and people find you suspicious.

The way around this is to be confident. Be completely sure of what you are doing, and more often than not, people won't question you.

The high-vis vest and clipboard thing where you can basically just go wherever you want is a perfect example.

I walked up to a waitress with my spiked drink in hand.

"Excuse me," I began, "Do you think you could take this to that guy back there," I gestured at my target, "and tell him it's from my friend?" I gestured at the young woman, "She likes him, but she's too shy to make a move,"

The waitress giggled.

"Aren't you the little matchmaker?"

I smiled, "Well, _someone_ has to be,"

She giggled again and took the glass from my hand.

"Sure, I can do that," she told me.

"Thanks miss. I'll be back here watching the fireworks,"

She grinned at me, and turned towards him.

She walked up to him, placed the drink down, and spoke to him for a moment.

His gazed flicked to the young woman as the waitress subtly gestured towards her.

Their gazes met for a moment, but the woman looked away quickly, a flush developing.

He kept his eyes on the woman, a blush of his own forming, but she refused to meet his gaze. Instead, he took the glass, and started drinking.

Good.

I waited a minute, until my target started looking drowsy then walked to the young woman's table.

I grabbed the back of a chair facing away from my target and spoke to the woman.

"Excuse me, is this seat free?" I asked.

"Eh? Um, yes, it is," she said, surprised, "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Well, it's more like I'm helping you," I told her.

Her face expressed confusion, so I continued.

"I've been watching for a minute or so, and I can tell you're interested in my buddy back there,"

Her face went red, but she didn't deny it.

I sucked in a breath through my teeth.

"I'm sorry to say it," I leant in, "but he's actually gay," I whispered to her.

Her face drooped rapidly; disappointment clear.

She sighed, "Of _course_ he's gay. I can never catch a break,"

I chuckled quietly, "Don't worry, you'll find a great guy, I'm sure. And, uh, if you could please keep this quiet? He's gotten a lot of shit in the past over being gay…"

She nodded, eyes sympathetic, "Of course I'll keep it quiet. Thanks for stopping me before I embarrassed myself,"

I laughed, "No worried miss. Enjoy the rest of your night,"

"To you as well,"

I stood and made my way back to the bar, where I quietly waited until my target was fully asleep.

The waitress from before approached me.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I just don't get it," I told her, incredulous, "It's so obvious that they like each other, but they still aren't together! I don't understand it! Look at him! The doofus has fallen asleep too!"

She giggled.

"Sometimes people have a bit of trouble," she explained.

"But _this _much trouble?" I said, shaking my head.

I sighed, "Well, I better get him home. Can't be leaving him sleeping here. G'night miss. Thanks for your help,"

She smiled, "No worries. Good luck with those two,"

I walked to my target and grabbed his arms, pulling them over my shoulders like a backpack.

"Gods," I complained loudly, feigning difficulty "Why have you gotta be so damn _heavy?"_

I slowly dragged the taller man out of the Guild and onto the streets.

I kept walking, complaining all the while, before sneaking out of the city into the wilderness.

"Well then, let's have a bit of fun, shall we, Mitsurugi?"

**Line break here**

**Violent part begins**

I dumped Mitsurugi's unconscious body on the ground, then quickly went back to town and purchased some rope.

I returned and bound him.

Arms, hands and thumbs. Thighs, knees and ankles. Finally I cut some cloth from his shirt and made a gag. I pushed it into his mouth and tied it shut, then wrapped more rope around his head to keep his jaw shut.

I took the knife from this belt and jammed it into a tree, then I lifted his body up and slung his arms over the handle so that he was suspended above the ground.

I summoned some water and splashed it into his face.

His eyes shot open.

They looked around rapidly, as he took a moment to wake up.

Then he started panicking.

I drew my sword and pushed it up against his neck.

"Nuh, uh, uh," I chided, "You're staying right there,"

He froze, eyes on the sword.

His eyes looked back to mine and he stared at me in fear and confusion.

"I know what you're thinking," I told him, "How did I get here? Why am I tied up? And who is this jackass with a sword?"

"Well you see Kyouya," I smiled, "You have made me rather unhappy,"

Chameleon melted away.

His eyes widened.

I grinned viciously.

"That's right. You fucked with me, and now you're gonna pay the price for it,"

I pulled the sword away from his throat and rested it casually on my shoulder.

"Not right now though. _Now_, we're gonna have ourselves a nice… civil… discussion,"

I turned and started pacing slowly.

"You see, I never liked you. From the moment you spoke, I disliked you. But then, you _disrespected_ me," I turned back to him.

"That was a mistake. But you already knew that. I mean, you lost the fight, your dignity, and your _sword_,"

I twirled the short-sword in my hand.

"But I think I was really doing you a favour there. That sword was a crutch. Sure it got you _this _far, but it would hold you back from ever reaching the Demon King,"

I nodded to myself.

"Yeah, I was definitely doing you a favour there. But _then_,"

I leant in close.

"You started spreading rumours. And then you tried to use those rumours to get me _killed_. I don't like it when people try to kill me. In _fact_, I usually return the favour,"

I lifted the sword upright.

"I mean really," I told him with a laugh, "You were so reliant on that sword of yours, when something like this can easily do the trick!"

I swung.

The sharpened blade carved into his midsection, meeting minimal resistance as it passed through his flesh.

He screamed into his gag, the sound severely muted.

Blood and intestines and gore spilled from the wound as he screamed in agony.

I looked on in disinterest as he whined like a bitch.

Like, come _on_.

You're still 10 levels above me. Shouldn't this be harder?

Can't you even _try_ to make this fun? You doing nothing is just plain _boring_.

Whatever.

I lifted the bloody blade and drove it into his throat.

I extracted it and spent the next minute listening to the wet gurgling coming from him.

The sound of his lungs trying desperately to evacuate the blood that filled them.

Mitsurugi Kyouya died in minutes.

I took him down and dragged his bloody corpse away until I came across some monsters.

Goblins.

I tossed the body at them before vanishing into the night, confident that the corpse would not be discovered.

**Line break here**

**Violent part over**

I slowly walked back to the inn where my stuff was stashed slowly.

I had read somewhere that humans react in a variety of ways when they first take the life of another.

The most common was horror. An overwhelming sense of disgust at oneself as they realise what they just took away. As they realise a life was just ended. Every choice, every experience, and every thought they could have made was gone, taken, they're their family and friends left behind, devastated. They would freeze, caught in a loop of self-loathing and revulsion.

This often led to their own death.

Others were able to push it to the side. Continue with the tasks they were burdened with. Even if that task was killing more.

Some enjoyed the experience. They relished in the power they held for just a moment. The complete control given when taking a life. They crave the strength that comes with absolute destruction. These people are dangerous.

Then…

There were those who didn't react at all. The people who truly felt nothing for their fellow man. People who had something fundamentally _wrong_ within their mind. The kind of person who found no fault nor problem in taking a life, was someone _beyond_ dangerous.

And I felt nothing at all.

So I was 'beyond dangerous'.

Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

I mean, I killed that Mitsurugi bitch without any problems, so shouldn't that have been obvious?

And about that; I'm not sure what I thought I would feel, but I expected _something_. But now I just felt… unsatisfied. Bored, even.

Well, not much I can do about that.

Time to clear evidence.

I returned to the inn and changed back to my original clothing then left the town again and set them ablaze.

I pocketed the small vial.

It was important to have an alibi.

With everything complete, I returned home.

After a few minutes of walking, I arrived.

I opened the door as quietly as I could, and stepped inside. Good thing too; Aqua was sleeping on the couch, facing the door.

She had probably been waiting for me to get home, but had fallen asleep.

I rolled my eyes and approached the turquoise headed girl.

I rubbed my hands together to warm them, then carefully slid them behind her. One at the neck, and the other at the knees.

She stirred in her sleep, but didn't wake as I started to lift, pulling her up into my arms. Once she was positioned comfortably, I moved us to the hallway and towards her room.

I opened the door, only for it to creak loudly as it swung open by itself.

I winced as Aqua stirred again.

Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed around sleepily.

They came back around and locked onto mine.

"Hey Aqua," I whispered, "Sorry I woke you,"

"Mmm… s'okay," she mumbled, nuzzling into my chest.

With an impressive, if I do say so myself, display of agility, I pushed the covers of her bed away with one foot while I remained standing on the other.

Aqua mumbled incoherently as I placed her on the bed softly.

I covered her with the thick blanket and quietly left her to sleep, now cautious of the creaking door.

Finally done with the day, I climbed into bed myself, and fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

**Line break here**

I woke up late the next morning to find both Aqua and Megumin already out of the house.

We had decided earlier yesterday that today was to be a holiday where we could each do whatever it was we wanted to do.

Rather than cooking for myself, I decided to get something from town. Probably from one of the new stores that had sprung up.

As I wandered about the streets, I spotted a kebab stall.

Hell fuckin' yeah I want kebabs.

I went up to the stall and purchased two for myself, then sat down on a nearby bench, and began eating.

Fuck yeah kebabs are so good.

I sat quietly while I ate, simply observing those around me.

And then I saw a familiar face.

Yunyun walked the streets slowly, watching the food stalls with poorly hidden hunger.

Eventually, she loitered around the kebab stall, watching, but not approaching.

She waited.

Another customer approached and purchased three kebabs for themselves, as Yunyun watched closely.

Once they had left, she walked up and bought three kebabs as well.

Does she… not know how to order food?

I considered approaching her, but with how pleased she looked eating her kebabs, I decided against interrupting her.

"-stranger monsters near town," a voice said, catching my interest.

"I heard about that. They grab onto anything that moves and explode, right?"

I mean, aren't all monsters strange?

I guess 'strange' is a relative term, isn't it.

Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Yunyun finished her meal and continued to wander, eventually ending up at an arcade shooting booth.

Although, it wasn't very 'arcade', given that it used a real bow, even if with blunt arrows.

This stall was obviously created with young couples as the target.

A display of strength from the guy and a gift for the girl.

Likely too embarrassed to attempt the challenge with others around, Yunyun waited until all the couples had vacated before trying her luck at the game.

I followed her eye to a miniature samurai doll at the far end of the gallery.

She tried and tried, but was never able to strike the prize she had set her eyes on, eventually handing the bow back to the store owner with a disappointed expression.

I stepped up.

Yunyun spotted me as I approached, her eyes going wide.

I winked at her as I paid the small fee to play the game.

The owner passed me the small recurve bow and three blunted arrows.

I casually took aim at the bear Yunyun had been watching, activated 'Snipe', and released the nocked arrow.

The arrow flew true, and struck the doll.

The store keeper look at me with suspicion.

"Oi, can't you read pal? 'No archers'," he told me.

I smiled and fished out my Adventurer's card.

"You're mistaken sir, I'm no archer,"

He looked over the card before rubbing his head sheepishly.

"Eheh, sorry sir. My mistake. Here's your prize,"

I took the doll from him and handed it to Yunyun immediately.

"Here," I told her, "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Thank… Thank you," she stammered.

I smiled, "No worries. Friends help each other out, right?"

Her eyes widened.

"F-friends?" she stuttered.

I scratched at the back of my neck, feigning awkwardness.

"Uh, well, I mean, if that's alright with you…"

She smiled brightly and nodded, "Yes. I'd love to have you as my friend!"

I smiled back, "Great! How would you like to go exploring the town? You're new here, so I can show you around a bit," I offered.

"That sounds great!" she answered, and allowed me to lead her around.

"Alright! Next challenger! Is there no one else?" yelled a voice from a plaza.

We ventured to it to find a small crowd surrounding a short man and… a rock?

"Can nobody break it?" the short man called, rousing the heavily muscled crowd.

A man stepped forward, and like those around him, he was tall and bulky. He handed a small fee to the short man and accepted a sledge-hammer from him.

The larger man lifted the hammer, shifting it around to get a feel for it weight, then he lifted it past his shoulder, and brought it back down onto the stone with incredible force.

The stone, however, remained unscathed.

"Look!" Yunyun exclaimed, "Everyone's trying to break the adamantite!"

"Want to give it a go?" I asked her, "The sign says magic is allowed, and you've got some powerful spells,"

She shook her head, "I have access to High Tier magic, but you'd need at least Top Tier spells to damage it, like 'Implosion' or 'Explosion'," she explained.

"So, it's a waste of time to use magic then. You can't use those kinds of spells in a town anyway,"

"Right," she responded, "But I'm sure many people will try regardless,"

I laughed, "I don't disagree,"

She right waswas right. People were gullible like that.

We watched for a few minutes, people trying all manner of both magical and physical means to even chip the large stone.

Unsurprisingly, none of them succeeded, and the prize pool quickly reached 200 grand.

"Can no one break the adamantite?" the stall owner yelled, "I came to this town because the Destroyer was defeated here, but yet no one is able to break my adamantite?"

A small, petite girl stepped forth.

"My turn,"

Despite her diminutive stature, multiple adventurers rushed forward to stop her, myself included.

"No chance in hell!" I told Megumin before turning to the stall owner, who stood still in confusion.

"You'd better get out of here man! She won't hesitate to use 'Explosion' in the town just to show off,"

His eyes widened and he began rapidly packing away his equipment as Megumin began to struggle and complain.

"C'mon Kazuma! Just one 'Explosion'! Please?" she begged.

"No way! You can only manage one explosion anyway, so saying 'just one' is irrelevant!" I denied.

The crowd, with the entertainment gone, began to disperse.

"You're not with Aqua?" I asked Megumin.

"No. There was a guy doing street performances for tips, but he was driven to tears when Aqua started doing better tricks without accepting pay,"

I Laughedlaughed.

That's fucking awesome. Wish I could have seen it.

"Since you're here," Megumin began, "why don't we walk around for a while? I saw another guy doing something similar to that guy and I wanna see how quickly I can scare him off,"

I snickered.

"Sounds fun. How 'bout it Yunyun? Wanna see something funny?"

"I… um, I came here to defeat Megumin, not build friendships with her," she claimed.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes you do. Come on, let's walk,"

"Wha? I don-"

"Let's leave her Kazuma, then we'll get to see her looking all mopey," Megumin said.

Yunyun growled and pounced at Megumin.

They had a short mock battle before Yunyun released Megumin.

"Yunyun is well known among the Crimson Demon clan for being a weido weirdo that's ashamed of her name," Megumin informed me.

"That's because our names _are_ weird!" Yunyun exclaimed in exasperation.

"In school," Megumin continued, ignoring the interruption, "Yunyun would sit by herself, and if I loitered around her long enough, she'd challenge me to a duel every time and I'd get a free lunch!"

"Th-that may be true, but I'm not lonely! I have friends of my own!" Yunyun denied.

Megumin looked at her, incredulous, "You? Have friends? Name one," she challenged.

"Kazuma-san is my friend," she told her.

I nodded, confirming her claim.

Megumin looked shocked.

"Anyway," Yunyun continued, "How shall we duel today?"

Megumin hummed, "I don't really feel like competing with magic. We both have very different strengths,"

Yunyun hummed in thought.

"Anything's fine, really. I'm not a kid who's bothered by winning or losing,"

"Not a kid anymore? I remember we competed in our degree of growth before. Since you say you're not a kid anymore, want to try that again?" Yunyun challenged with a smirk.

Megumin grinned, "I meant I'm not a kid in another way…" she lent in and whispered into Yunyun's ear.

She froze, her eyes locked onto mine, and she went red.

"It… It's your win today!" Yunyun exclaimed before she turned tail and ran.

Megumin looked on smugly.

"What did you say to her?"

Her eyes snapped back to mine, before she too started going red.

"Don't… Don't worry about it," she said, not meeting my eyes.

I sighed internally.

God, love-struck teens are a pain.

**Line break here**

It was the morning of the next day.

Megumin had just gotten up, and was eating her breakfast. Aqua lay on the couch, kicking her legs lazily as she read from a magazine. I was at the desk, sketching the internal design of a typewriter, when the front door burst open.

"Bad news! This is bad Kazuma! What should we do?" an elegant young woman, who I recognised as Darkness, just in fancy clothing said.

"Welcome back," I told her droll tone.

"Eh? Er, right. Hello again, everyone," she responded.

"Welcome back Darkness. You don't need to explain what happened. Here, take a nice long bath to soothe your body and soul," Megumin told her softly.

"Huh? Bath? What are you talking about Megumin?" Darkness responded; her confusion obvious.

"It's okay," Megumin comforted, "Just rest for today. It's great that you are back. Listen to me, go take a warm bath and cry your heart out."

"What are you talking about! Why do I have to cry? And what's with the bath… What is it, Aqua? Why are you pulling on my skirt?"

"This is definitely a high-quality material" Aqua observed, "This must be the bonus reward the governor gave you,"

I rolled my eyes.

"Relax guys she didn't sleep with Alderp,"

"S-s-sleep with him?! No! And this dress is mine! It's not from Alderp!" Darkness exclaimed in disgust.

The sighed, collecting herself.

"Sorry for making you worry. But the governor didn't have the guts to request anything rude from me… Forget about that, look at this!"

She handed me a small album, and within it was a photo of a handsome young man, maybe 20 years old.

"Uh, okay… What's this?"

"It's a marriage interview photo!"

Oh. I see.

"And?"

"That Alderp bastard, using cheap tricks like this! I did promise to do anything, but my father would reject him if it was too offensive. I knew that, that's why I promised him back then, but…"

"But?"

"The one on the photo is the governor's son. Damn Alderp, he probably knew if he was the one to propose, he would definitely be rejected. But the only good point my father sees in the man is his son. How should I put this… The one most enthusiastic about the marriage is my father. But I don't understand why Alderp wants his son to marry me,"

Hmm.

"And you don't want to marry, obviously?"

"Right. Father is just using it as an excuse to stop me from being an adventurer,"

I nodded, then tore the photo.

"Wha- Kazuma! I need that to reject the proposal!" Darkness yelled in shock.

"It won't work," I told her.

She looked at me in confusion.

"Sure, you might reject this guy, but your father will just keep arranging more marriages. _Instead_, what we can do is make _them_ reject _you_. Then your father won't try it again out of shame!"

Her eyes widened in realisation.

"That's brilliant Kazuma!"

"I don't get it," Megumin spoke up, "Why is the governor so obsessed with you?"

Darkness took a breath.

"My real name is Dustiness Ford Lalatina. He wants me in his family for power,"

Hearing her name, Megumin and I both fought to stifle out laughter.

"Darkness!" Aqua exclaimed, "Why would you have a fake name? Lalatina is so cute!"

We fought harder.

"Don't, don't call me Lalatina…!"

I leaned over to Megumin.

"Fucking _Lalatina_,"

She lost it, her laughter spurring my own.

_Lalatina_'s face went red as she looked at us.

Lalatina.

I lost it again.

"Hey guys! I also have something important to share!" Aqua announced, "I told you before, but you didn't believe me, but I'm actually a goddess!"

This fucking idiot.

"Wow, that's great!" Megumin and Darkness answered, their tones showing the degree of belief they had.

i.e. none.

"Why don't you guys believe me?!"

**Line break here**

We arrived at the Dustiness mansion.

I had considered my own mansion as large, but this thing was _gigantic_.

"Is this true? Can we really do this, Lalatina? Are you willing to consider this matchmaking session seriously?"

Fortunately for us, the building was in town, so it didn't take us half a day to get here.

"It's true, dear father. Lalatina wants to try it," Darkness said, for some reason refferingreferring to herself in third person.

"Lalatina, who are these two guestguests?" Darkness's father asked.

A tall man in remarkable shape, considering his positioning.

I took the opportunity.

"Hello Lord Dustiness Ford. I am Satou Kazuma, and this is Aqua. We are adventurer companions to Lady Lalatina," I told him formally.

Darkness nodded in confirmation.

"Satou Kazuma…" he said slowly, "That name seems familiar,"

"Ah, perhaps you have heard of our party's exploits," I offered.

He raised an eye-brow and gestured for me to continue.

"We were responsible for the defeat of Beldia, a general of the Demon Kind army," His eyes widened.

"and the stopping of the Destroyer was due, in part, to our party,"

"Ah!" he exclaimed, "I remember now! You're underselling yourself! I heard that your party single-headedly defeated the general! And that it was due only to your plan that the Destroyer was stopped!" he prattled excitedly.

I laughed awkwardly, "I suppose that is correct. Many adventurers helped in both circumstances, I just ended up with the credit," I told him.

He laughed, "You are too modest Kazuma-san! I know for a fact that you deserve the credit you have received,"

I smiled, "And you are too kind Lord Dustiness Ford. As for why we're here, we wished to be temporarily employed as a maid and butler to ensure that the husband-to-be is a suitable man for our companion and dear friend,"

He nodded, "I see,"

He then gestured to the waiting staff around, "Make it so!"

We were ushered into a room by the maids to wait, where we were then presented with tea.

Aqua snickered once the maids left, "Look at the painting Kazuma. It's like it was made by a child,"

"Nah, more like an idiot's attempt at graffiti,"

She laughed.

Darkness walked into the room.

"Sorry for the wait, you- Hey Kazuma, that is a painting of my father I made when I was young. Father really liked this painting, so he hung it here to show it off to the guests. Don't stare at it, it makes me feel embarrassed…" Darkness explained.

"Huh. Guess you were right Aqua,"

Then a maid entered.

"Here you are Kazuma-san," she said, presenting me with a pile of folded clothing, "This is a butler's apparel. It should fit right, but please try it on,"

I nodded, and was directed to a changing room, where I quickly stripped.

I pulled on the clothes.

"I'm done," I told them as I stepped out, "Fits well,"

It did, even if it did restrict my movement a bit.

Aqua had changed into her own maid gear too.

"Looks good Aqua," I told her.

She smiled, her face going a bit red, before she responded.

"You too Kazuma. You look very handsome,"

I smiled and gave her a little bow.

"Anyway, are you ready, Lady Lalatina?"

"Don't! Don't call me lady Lalatina! Just addressing me as 'my lady' will do if others are around!"

I snickered.

We met up with Darkness's father for a few minutes before he went to greet the guests, where he pulled me aside to speak.

"Kazuma-san, I'd like your help with the meeting," he told me, "Please do your best to prevent my daughter from doing anything… strange,"

I blinked.

"I'll try, but we both know how she gets…"

"If you do, you'll be rewarded handsomely,"

Why didn't you say that first?

Maybe I'll get her married off after all?

**Line break here**

**There's another chapter!**

**Let me know what you guys thought of the dark scene. Liked it, didn't, skipped, whatever.**

**And to 'Eagle. ', I changed Mitsurugi because I didn't like him. He's basically a filler character with no meaningful personality, so I gave him one that I think fits how his character acted in canon.**

**RIP Mitsurugi, by the way, lmao.**

**Oh did you guys see the new story that cropped up? The one that got 400 followers in two weeks? I definitely wasn't expecting that lmao. The dude has the crazy huge advantage of being a well-known writer with multiple other successful works.**

**I'm not angry about it though, it serves as good motivation.**

**Yeah, uh, not much else to say about this chapter. Hope you guys liked it, and I'll see you all next week!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic **

**Word count**

**Chapter: 5,872**

**Story: 67,010**


	12. Chapter 12

We gathered in the meeting room, waiting for the arrival of the Alexei family.

"To think you would agree to this matchmaking session," Lord Dustiness said, "I'm truly happy. Alexei's son is a wonderful man, and I know he'll treat you right,"

"How mean, father. Lalatina," Darkness began, still speaking in third person, "only said she'll _consider_ the marriage. But I've already decided, it's too early for me to marry, so I'm going to make this into a matchmaking session of hell!" she cackled.

She seemed to have forgotten the reason she asked us to come.

Her father turned pale, so I stepped forward and spoke quietly into her ear.

"Be careful, my Lady. It isn't just _your_ honour at stake here,"

She blinked, and looked around, before coughing with a red face.

"R-right. Thank you, Kazuma,"

Her father looked to me and nodded his appreciation.

"Please, Kazuma-san," he begged, "Even should this session fail, please prevent her from doing anything disgraceful in front of the other party. You _will_ be rewarded for it,"

I nodded my understanding and he let out a sigh of relief.

By that time, the guests had arrived.

The young man I had seen in the photo, Alderp's son, was the first through the door, escorted by a maid, and followed closely by maids of his own.

His father was nowhere to be seen.

Fortunate; for him, at least.

I think I will keep Darkness. While she is revolting at times, she's a _damn_ good tank, and if Yunyun joins, her lack of DPS won't be a problem.

"Just play along," I whispered to Darkness, "I've got an idea,"

She nodded subtly.

"Hello Lord Dustiness," the young man greeted formally, "and hello Lady Dustiness. Thank you very much for inviting me here,"

Darkness' father smiled, "The pleasure is mine Mr. Alexei. Please, have a seat," he said, waving at a chair opposite Darkness and himself.

"Please," he returned, "call me Walther,"

Man, what a pussy sounding name.

Small talk was exchanged, Darkness mostly keeping quiet, until her father excused himself and directed us to the meeting room, leaving the two to their own devices.

"Well then," Walther began as they took their seats, "let me introduce myself properly once more. I'm Alexei Barnes Walther, son of the Alexei family. My job is to assist my father in managing his territory,"

"And I am Dustiness Ford Lalatina. I don't think I need to introduce my family," Darkness returned.

Walther chuckled.

They began the small talk again, but quickly, you could see Darkness was becoming antsy.

"Are you alright? You look rather stressed," Walther, being the proper young man with no sense of boundaries he was, asked.

"Well," I interjected, "Lady Dustiness is a trained adventurer. I can tell you from experience that simplistic interactions like this can have you feeling a little… bored,"

Walther looked concerned at Darkness' thorough nodding.

"You are also trained in the sword, aren't you Lord Alexei?" I asked, "Perhaps you could have a spar then," I continued after his nod.

"Yes!" Darkness quickly asserted.

At her enthusiasm, Walther smiled, looking relieved.

"I wouldn't be against it," he said.

We moved as a group to a small arena within the house, Darkness leading the way. They each entered a changing room, one on either side, quickly redressing from their formal garb to something more suited to the nature of combat.

They each took a wooden practice sword, and moved to the middle of the arena, 10 metres apart and facing each other with determined expressions.

"You will fight until one party is incapacitated or they yield. Do both parties understand?" I exclaimed.

Walther looked hesitant.

"Lady Lalatina," he began, "I am a Knight. Even if this is just training, I can't point a sword at a lady,"

"What a gutless fool," Darkness said scathingly, "Kazuma right there," she continued, glancing at me, "claims to be an advocate of gender equality. He would not hesitate to use any tactic against men or women,"

Walther looked at me questioningly.

"Damn right I would. When you're out there, you fight to _live_. If you fight with 'honour', you're not fighting at your fullest potential. You're admitting that everyone important to you, who would grieve your death, aren't as important as your twisted sense of pride, less important than your _honour_,"

Walther looked at me still, now open-mouthed and speechless.

"_I _fight with _everything_ so that I can come home to those important to me. Will you do the same?"

He had no answer.

"Begin!"

Darkness rushed him without hesitation.

Through what I assume was hard-wired instinct achieved through endless training, he reacted, blocking the sloppy sword strike, and retaliated with one of his own, hitting Darkness in the side of her waist.

He stopped, seemingly believing that his successful hit was sufficient to conclude the spar.

Darkness' next charge changed his mind.

They fought for another 10 minutes. Darkness, as expected, never landed a strike, while the bruises from Walther's numerous successful attacks peppered her skin.

"Enough!" he yelled, "The winner is obvious! So why do you keep fighting?"

I chuckled.

"You seem a little uncomfortable, Lord Alexei. Why have you stopped? The spar is not yet over," I asked him.

"But I've clearly beaten her!" he shouted, incredulous.

"And yet, she has yet to yield. Lady Dustiness, give me your sword,"

She handed it to me without hesitation, her face red and breathing heavy.

"Well?" I spoke to the still stationary noble, "Attack her!"

"But she's unarmed!" he returned.

"You're quite uncomfortable with this, aren't you? Think you could do this kind of thing for fun?"

"What? No!" he responded.

"Lady Dustiness, what would your ideal husband do in this situation?" I asked the obviously aroused woman.

"He would beat me until I couldn't move! And then… and then he'd take advantage of my body, doing whatever he wanted, even when I shout 'no'!" she exclaimed, face bright red.

I turned back to the gaping Alexei boy.

"Well? Will you take care of your future wife's wishes?" I asked, smirk breaking through the cracks.

"I… uh… I think I will formally reject this wedding proposal," he said, visibly uncomfortable, "It was a, uh, _pleasure…_ meeting with you Lady Dustiness. I will now take my leave!" he finished, immediately scampering away.

I watched him leave, then turned to face Darkness and Aqua, face _incredibly_ smug.

"Well, I think that went well,"

Aqua couldn't contain herself and began cackling.

"Kazuma," Darkness said, "You are a truly brilliant man,"

* * *

We left the Dustiness Ford residence shortly after.

Walther made his position known the Darkness' father, and left. Her father thanked me quietly for keeping his family's pride mostly intact, and promised a large sum of funds would be delivered to my residence shortly.

After some emotional 'take care of my baby' bullshit, we were let go, and we returned home.

We arrived at our mansion to find a snivelling Yunyun, and Megumin, hurriedly trying to console her, just inside the front door.

God, they're like siblings, one trying to help the other before mother gets home.

I looked at Megumin.

"It wasn't my fault!" she quickly claimed, "I didn't mean to make her cry!"

I rolled my eyes.

I stepped forward and put a hand on Yunyun's back, slowly rubbing it.

"You okay Yunyun? Want a drink or something?" I asked her.

"No," she croaked, before sniffling more, "I'm alright,"

"You sure?" a nod, "Alright. Go take a seat on the couch. You can relax here for a while. Take as long as you need. Aqua?"

Aqua nodded, and guided the young girl to a seat.

I opened my mouth to speak to a guilty looking Megumin, when the door was thrown open.

"Satou Kazuma! Is Satou Kazuma here?!" Sena yelled.

Can I catch a fucking _break_ already?

"Oh my _god!_ What do you want _now?!_ Did _more_ fucking frogs appear? Or do you want me to solve something _else_ I didn't cause?!"

"It's Keele's Dungeon! What did you do to it?! A large number of mysterious monsters started flooding out of it!"

"What? We didn't do anything to the dungeon! Blaming me for that is bullshit!"

The three members of my party nodded, affirming my statement.

Sena, however, still looked suspicious.

"That may be so, but I heard that you were the last batch of people to enter that dungeon. Going by your track record, the chances that _you_ people are not involved is rather-"

"What kind of twisted reasoning is that?!" I interrupted, "You're letting your _personal_ bias influence you? There's no evidence of us doing _anything,_ but you immediately assume it's us! Aren't you meant to uphold the law? Aren't you meant to be fair and just? Where's the fucking fairness?"

She stammered.

She took a breath, and bowed.

"You're right. I let my own opinions get in the way of what is right again, and for that, I sincerely apologise,"

She stood up again, "But this does make things difficult. I have no clue who or what could've caused this. I'll have to hire someone to investigate," she said, glancing between us.

Now she wants me to help her out? Fuck off.

"Sorry," I told her, "I'm a bit busy trying to clear suspicion for _another_ crime I didn't commit,"

"Err… right,"

She made to leave, but I stopped her.

"What do the monsters look like?"

She turned within the doorframe and met my gaze.

"Witness reports say they vary in size, but are generally small, they're doll-like in shape, and wear black-and-white masks,"

Well fuck.

"Weird," I said, keeping the realisation from my face, "Wait, are these the ones that explode? I heard about them a few days ago, I think," I asked her.

"Yes," Sena confirmed, "They grab a hold of people, then explode,"

I made a face of distaste.

Sena nodded at my reaction, seemingly agreeing with the silent appraisal.

"If that is all, I will now take my leave," she said, before silently turning about-face and leaving the mansion.

With her gone, I quickly walked upstairs, keeping my gait casual enough as to not arouse suspicion from my party members, and made my way to a window.

I watched Sena intently as she left, walking back towards town, and once she was out of sight, I waited another five minutes.

Satisfied that she was now far enough away, I walked back downstairs.

"I'm going out!" I called into the house, the four women having disappeared from the entrance to more comfortable rooms, "I'll be back in less than an hour!" I told them.

"'Kay!" Aqua called back, "See you in a bit Kazuma!"

I left the house, and immediately ran for Keele's Dungeon.

* * *

The dolls streamed out of the entrance.

Fortunately, they were incredibly easy to stop. Even the weakest of attacks would make them detonate prematurely.

I took advantage of this as I slowly made my way into the dungeon. I had an orb of water I had created lead the way, which would flow out and stab at all the dolls that appeared, destroying them before they could even get close.

It took me a solid 15 minutes to make it to the final chamber, where Keele had once stayed.

However, instead of Keele, I faced someone new.

The man sat on the floor, but I could tell he was incredibly tall, easily in excess of 6 feet. He wore a neat three-piece black suit and had slick black hair poking out from behind the theatre-esque mask, one identical to what appeared on the dolls.

Speaking of dolls, one was steadily being created by the man.

He looked to me as I entered.

"Oh my," he began, his voice deep and rich, "Moi hadn't expected any adventurers to bypass my dolls so soon,"

I tilted my head, "They weren't too hard to get past, once you figure out the trick to 'em, Mr. Devil,"

He stood gracefully, and smiled.

"You know of moi?" he asked, looking at me closely.

"Ah!" he exclaimed in a sudden realisation, "Thou art one of _them_. Moi does ever so _love_ thy type. So much glorious misery follows where ever thou goes," he stated gleefully.

I tilted my head in agreement, "And I certainly know _do_ who you are. Vanir; a general of the Demon King army, and the Duke of Hell,"

He bowed dramatically, right hand over his heart, and left thrust into the air.

He returned to a standing position, "At your service," he said, his vicious tone barely disguised behind his formal speech.

"Vanir, you and I have mutual ally; one by the name of Wiz,"

His smile dropped, and he looked at me with a more serious expression.

At least, that's what it felt like. The man was wearing a mask, after all.

"And she has told me a great deal about you," I continued, "And I believe the skill at your disposal, along with the knowledge I possess, could lead to a _great_ many things," I informed him confidently.

His smile started to return.

"So Vanir, I have a proposition for you: How would you like to rich beyond your wildest dreams?"

His smile was back in full force.

"My my," he said, "_Do_ go on,"

* * *

Walking on the snow covered road, my party headed for that dungeon.

I had returned to the mansion to find that Yunyun had already left. I then convinced my party members that we _would_ help with the dungeon 'for the good of the town'.

Sena quickly spotted us approaching.

She was surrounded by a large group of adventurers, and held a strange talisman on her hand.

"You decided to come?" she asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. This is affecting everyone, so we decided to help get rid of the threat,"

She looked at me, suspicion clear.

I rolled my eyes.

"Everyone includes us,"

She looked on for another moment, before nodding, satisfied with the answer.

Vanir's dolls continued to stream out from dungeon's entrance.

"I don't know what it is," Aqua began, "but looking at these dolls… I hate them,"

"Kazuma-san," Sena addressed, "We believe that there must be someone summoning all these dolls within the dungeon. Take this," she handed me the talisman, "and paste it onto the summoning circle. Regardless of how powerful it is, this will lock it, disabling it completely,"

That's OP.

"Alright. Megumin, have 'Explosion' ready, and Aqua, you wait out here and cover her. Darkness, you're with me," I directed.

"Right!" they chorused.

Darkness took the lead, and we began making out way into the dungeon, sponging the damage of any dolls I didn't manage to dispatch.

Another 20 or so adventurers decided to follow our lead into the depths.

"Kazuma look! I hit it, I hit it! Even I can hit these things!" Darkness cackled, great-sword sweeping horizontally and catching the dolls.

The dolls took the attack in stride, immediately retaliating with their spontaneous destruction in the form of a fiery explosion.

"H-hey! Wait up!" an adventurer called from behind.

Seems we were too efficient.

More dolls began appearing from side rooms, ambushing the adventurers behind us.

Eh, less for us to deal with.

We kept moving deeper.

"What is with this?" Darkness asked as we reached the final chamber of the dungeon, "This must be the creator of those dolls, right?"

Vanir sat like he had when I had first found him.

"Yeah. Look, you can see him making another one," I pointed out, drawing my sword.

Vanir 'noticed' us.

"What are you doing here?" Darkness asked, dropping into a combat stance, "If you're the one making the dolls, you must be the mastermind behind this fiasco, right?"

Vanir stood.

"Oh…" he began, "I didn't expect anyone to be able to reach here so quickly. Adventurers, welcome to my dungeon! Thou art correct, moi art the source and the origin of all evil! Moi art a general of the Demon King army, the Duke of Hell that commands the devils! The arch devil that could see through anything in the world, Vanir!"

He's so fucking melodramatic, my god.

Darkness tensed, and shifted uneasily.

"Darkness," I addressed quietly, "We can't handle this by ourselves. Let's get back top-side for backup,"

"What are you saying!?" Darkness exclaimed, "As a devotee of the Goddess Eris, how could I retreat in the face of a devil? Even if it kills me, I'll bring him down!"

"Oh, thou wish to defeat moi?" Vanir continued cockily, "Defeat Mr. Vanir who some say is stronger than the Demon King himself? You, girl who is worried that the man beside you saw your six pack when thou were naked in the shower. I couldn't fathom why art thou is so angry. Perhaps we could have a little fun, and relieve some of that aggression?"

"Wha… What nonsense are you spewing?" Darkness said, her face going red, "I-I don't have a six pack!"

Seriously? She's embarrassed by something so inconsequential? I do _not_ understand this woman.

"First, although I am a general of the Demon King army, I am just maintaining the barrier of the castle because of his request, so I'm just a general in name. I am known to others as a devil. The greatest delicacy for a devil is the negative feelings produced by the hatred of human. In my mind, humans are the producer of delicacies, so I rarely perform stupid things such as killing or harming thou," Vanir explained.

"But to get these 'delicacies', wouldn't you have to harm humans?" I countered.

He laughed. "The negativities of humanity comes in many flavours and intensities. The taste of every devil is different and each have a differing preference. Some devil likes fear and despair, while others are like me, transforming into a great beauty to approach men, and after working hard to make the men fall for me, I will reveal my true form and say 'too bad, it's actually moi'. I will then taste their feeling as they cry tears of blood,"

I snorted as I tried to stifle a snicker.

"That's fucked up," I laughed, "but _totally_ hilarious,"

Darkness ignored me.

"You said you didn't want to hurt anyone, so what's with these dolls? They kept spilling out from the dungeon and have been hurting adventurers and townsfolk," she questioned

"Hmm? Moi used these things to clear the dungeon of those pesky monsters. If they have made their way out of the dungeon, it means there are no more monsters inside the dungeon. It's time for moi to stop the mass production of dolls and begin the next phase,"

"The next phase?" I asked, "The hell are you scheming?"

"It's rude to call it scheming," Vanir returned with a frown, "I have a grand dream as a devil. I came to this place in order to fulfil that dream,"

"The dream of a devil can't be a good thing," I used aloud.

"For moi who had existed for near eternity," Vanir trailed off, "I have been harbouring the urge to go out with a bang for quite some time now. That is, to pass on elegantly after dining on the finest of negative emotions. And I have finally found the best idea," he said maliciously.

"First, I would obtain a dungeon. Now I will dispatch my evil minions to standby in each room, setting gruelling traps in each! Powerful, veteran adventurers will then come forth to challenge themselves! After surpassing the numerous challenges, someone will finally make it to my residence in the depths of the dungeon!" he said, his tone slowly climbing throughout the monologue, filling with anticipation.

"And waiting in the depths of the dungeon will of course, be moi! I will dramatically say 'It was impressive for you to make this far, adventurers! Come, great fortune awaits if you can defeat moi!' After my opening speech would be the final battle! After a fierce fight, the adventurers will finally defeat moi, then a treasure chest with heavy seals will appear behind my tattered body. As I start to lose consciousness, the adventurers who overcame immense hardship open that treasure chest before my eyes-!"

He was basically screaming by this point.

"And inside would be nothing!" he cackled, "Then my minions would seal them within the cave to die with me!"

His maniacal cackling continued as his plan was revealed.

"Kazuma, let's kill him now," Darkness requested.

"But _you_," he continued, voice dropping "You interrupted me,"

He glared at me.

"And you have an Arch Priest?"

"Wha- How do you know about Aqua?!" Darkness exclaimed.

"Then I think I'll head to the surface and _slaughter_ everyone there, including the cursed Arch Priest,"

He look at Darkness, "And you look to be a suitably strong host!"

He lifted a hand to his face and pulled his mask from it, to reveal a complete lack of a face, just a smooth dirt mound where it should be.

He tossed the mask and his body immediately fell apart into piles of dirt.

His mask flew through the air like a Frisbee and struck Darkness in the face, immediately moulding itself over her features.

Vanir, within Darkness' body, laughed.

"I must admit, you're acting ability is superb Kazuma-san! And I must admit, I _do_ like your word for yourself. 'Psychopath'," he said, rolling the word within her mouth.

I gave a tiny mock bow, "Ready to continue?"

He nodded her head, "Yes, I will restrain myself enough for her to spectate and periodically take control, as we agreed,"

"Oh, I got this, by the way. Should make it more convincing," I said, showing him the talisman, "Alright, now do it,"

He nodded once more.

"Darkness?! What happened?!" I yelled

Vanir cackled, "Listen up kid! This special power of moi-"

"What should I do Kazuma? My body has been taken over!"

"How about it kid, if thou dare attack this girl-"

"I don't mind! Don't hold back, attack as you wish!"

I hesitantly lowered my sword.

"Huh? The fuck is going on here?" I said.

"How could this be, what is with this-" "Beautiful," "woman…?! Damn it, don't sneak in words and play mess around! This girl's mental tenacity is too strong," Vanir observed with frustration.

"I'm an excellent role model of a crusader!" Darkness commented.

"Shut up!" Vanir screamed, "To resist moi control, thou art a formidable opponent!"

"Not, not really…"

"But if you keep on resisting my control, thou shall suffer horrible pains!"

"Wha- what did you say?!"

"Fuhaha! Let's see how long you can resist!"

"I… I won't give in to this pain…!"

"Thou has respectable courage! But enduring it any longer will cause thou to break down mentally…"

He trailed off.

"Could it be, thou is enjoying this?"

I took his moment of confusion, and slapped the talisman onto his head, locking him within Darkness.

He staggered back from the slap, and started prodding at the seal.

"What is this?! I can't touch it! My fingers are just repelled!"

"Darkness!" I yelled at the woman, "Keep Vanir inside your body, and we'll get to the surface for Aqua to purify him away!"

She didn't resist as I started pushing her out the room and up the stairs towards the dungeon's entrance.

"Brat! This girl is suffering tremendous pain as she resist moi control! If this goes on, she will suffer mental trauma! It is in your best interest to tear off the talisman and let moi go! Or else…" he said, leaving the threat in the air.

"It's true Kazuma! I have been feeling something terrible… very terrible! Ahhh, this is the first time I felt something so intense, as expected of a general of the Demon King army! I can't take it anymore!" Darkness confirmed.

After a few minutes, we passed the adventurers we had left behind, near the entrance to the dungeon.

"Nearly there Darkness! Keep it up for just a bit longer!"

And then, Vanir started laughing again.

"You fool! I had been holding back! Now I can go kill that stupid Arch Priest without any problem!" He yelled, and immediately ran for the exit with a speed that bellied Darkness' heavy armour.

He leapt into the daylight.

"'Sacred Exorcism'!" Aqua chanted.

Vanir was engulfed in brilliant white flames and fell to the floor, as he screamed from within Darkness' body.

"Darkness has been possessed! She's being controlled by a Devil!"

His screams slowly dissipated into maniacal laughter and he pushed himself onto his knees.

"Greetings, cursed priest that shares the same name as that notorious goddess of water! I am Vanir! Duke of hell, one of the general of the Demon King army, Arch Devil Vanir!" he said as he stood and posed dramatically.

"Not bad," he continued "Greeting me with exorcism magic without hesitation! That's the reason why the infamous Axis devotees are shunned by all! Does thou not know basic courtesy?" he cackled.

"Courtesy to a devil? Are you crazy? Devils very existence is an affront to the gods! A parasite that feeds off human suffering!"

"'Sacred High Exorcism'!" Aqua chanted.

"Naïve!" Vanir shouted, easily dodging the spell.

"Adventurers!" I shouted, "We have to slow him down so he can be exorcised!" I commanded, drawing my sword, and leaping into combat with the devil.

Due to our levels, we were able to conduct a believable fight without endangering each other in the slightest.

The adventurers took over and I immediately went to Sena and Megumin.

"That's Vanir!" Sena said with panic, "What's he doing here in a beginner town?!"

"Sena," I said quickly, "I used the talisman to seal the general in Darkness' body for the time being. Megumin, we need a way to destroy him, so get you're 'Explosion' ready,"

"Right,"

When I turned back, Vanir had disabled the last adventurer.

"'Sacred High Exorcism'!" Aqua chanted once more.

Vanir dodged again.

"Wait!" Sena cried, "Darkness is a Crusader! They have a huge resistance to hostile Holy Magic! You need to break the seal if you want to destroy him,"

I nodded, "Got it,"

I reapproached Vanir.

"You're trying again? Oh, I see, you wish to break the seal to overrider this Crusader's Holy resistance.

"Ah!" Darkness cried, seeing me raise my palm, "It's Kazuma's trump card; 'Steal'"

"Why would you give it away, you idiot?!"

Vanir laughed again, "The basic 'Steal' skill? You can certainly _try_,"

I leapt forward, and instead of using 'Steal', I summoned fire within my palm, and directed it to the talisman.

The flames quickly caught, and the seal burnt away.

"To think," Vanir cackled, "that you could out-wit moi; the devil of foresight! Brilliant!"

"Darkness! Quick! Take back control and tear off the mask!"

She reached up and put her hands on the mask and pushed.

"I can't!" she returned, "It's stuck on!"

"Now why would I give up such a useful vessel?" Vanir asked gleefully.

"Then I give you my ultimatum. Separate from Darkness to be purified, or be wiped from existence with 'Explosion'" I said.

"I'm not going _anywhere_," he returned viciously.

"Do it Kazuma!" Darkness screamed.

I looked her in the eye.

"I'm sorry Darkness," I turned, "Megumin!"

"'Explosion'!"

* * *

**Hey all!**

**Thanks for taking the break so well! And sorry this chapters short, I had a busy week, and it was an absolute bitch to write both parts of this chapter, but now we're in the clear, so we'll return to regular lengths next week.**

**And the story reached 500 follows and 40,000 views! Fucking crazy. Like every milestone lmao. I know it's super cliché, and everyone does it, but it's pretty weird being on the receiving end this time. **

**So I kinda forgot last chapter, but having a Beta is fucking awesome. GildedTruth, you do a great job man, you have my infinite thanks. 3**

**And on the note of Betas, I've become one! I haven't had an opportunity to edit a chapter yet, as it was only organised yesterday after I found and read the story. I really liked the idea behind it, and seeing as the Author's first language isn't English, I offered to help. I totally recommend checking it out. It's called 'KonoSuba: Blessings not Included' by falconpilot.**

**Sorry for the advertising, lol.**

**Anyway, that's all, so see you next week!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 4,534**

**Story: 71,544**


	13. Chapter 13

It had been a few days since our encounter with Vanir.

Darkness had made it through with little difficulty, to everyone but my own's amazement.

However, I suppose they didn't know that Vanir took enough of the damage to keep Darkness alive like I did. What damage Vanir didn't block, which was enough to cause serious injury, was quickly healed by our resident Arch Priest.

With Darkness healed, and after some time to recuperate, we decided to enjoy some time at the Guild.

"Satou Kazuma!" Sena exclaimed for the I-don't-even-fuckin-know-how-many-eth time, "In honor of your major contribution in ensuring the safety of the city, we offer you our thanks. Furthermore, we wish to formally apologize for the false accusation that was levelled against you,"

She took a moment to bow deeply, nearly to a 90-degree angle, in fact, and offered a letter.

I opened it to find it was an official letter of thanks for the Capital, along with a cheque of one and a half fucking _billion_ Eris for defeating the Destroyer and vanquishing Vanir.

And the best part was; I didn't have to give any of it to that Alderp prick! Lord Dustiness Ford, who I will love forever, paid the fee himself, as the reward for keeping his honour intact!

I am a fucking _billionaire_ motherfuckers!

So now I am Kazuma! Butcherer of Beldia; Slayer of the Shogun; Defeater of the Destroyer; and Vanquisher of Vanir!

And did I mention that I'm also a fucking billionaire? Because I am!

They should make T-shirts about me already. They'd make a killing from 'em.

"And to Dustiness Ford 'Darkness', the Capital awards a set of Crystilian Steel plate armour, forged by one of the greatest blacksmiths in the Capital, for your efforts that resulted in the defeat of Vanir, the Duke of Hell," Sena continued.

Darkness smiled graciously, and offered a thanks in return.

Then we celebrated.

* * *

After out celebrations we're complete, I met up with Vanir at Wiz's shop to 'begin' our partnership. I then, of course, told the girls about his survival and explained that he would do no harm, and was, in fact, going to be helping us.

His first successful creation is what I sat working at now, actually. A Kotatsu, perfect for the still cold weather.

**(A Kotatsu is a low table with a rug/blanket over the top, and a heater of some form below it)**

Fortunately, there existed magical stones in this world that generated heat when supplied with mana, making a perfect heat source for personal use.

I sat working, drawing up the design plan for a loom, something I hadn't realised this world still needed, while Megumin and Darkness sat on the opposite sides of the table to my right and left, playing their magical chess.

Aqua, however, had claimed am entire couch as her own, laying down on her front as she read through a book.

It was peaceful. While it was cold outside still, the indoors had become a comfortable warm and we all took the opportunity to get in some long-awaited rest.

Until someone knocked on the door, that is.

I never get any breaks, do I?

"It's open!" I call.

The door opened to reveal Sena once more.

"Come in, come in," I said, "It's cold out, so keep the door closed,"

She obliged, stepping inside and closing the door behind herself.

"Kazuma-san-" she began, but stopped as I put a hand up.

"Sit," I told her, gesturing to the table, "Whatever it is, you can be comfortable while you tell me,"

She hesitantly sat, and slowly maneuvered her legs beneath the rug. Her face showed surprise, and not a small amount of pleasure.

"Good, isn't it?" I asked rhetorically, "I plan to start selling them from Wiz's shop soon. Anyway, what was it you needed, Sena-chan?" I asked cheekily.

She cleared her throat, then began, "A large amount of Lizard Runners have been discovered outside town. They normally wouldn't be a problem, but their mating season recently began, so they're causing problems in their attempts to impress the queen. I was hoping you, as one of the best-known adventurers in town, could help us all with this. Many adventurers are fighting them already,"

"That would be a problem," I mused.

Lizard Runners were strange, as monsters went. Herbivorous, bipedal lizards, that weren't hostile to humans. They could run damn fast though, hence the name. A kick from one of these things would easily destroy any bones in vicinity.

"Say, Kazuma-san," Sena began, "If I may ask; what is your level? I imagine it's quite high, considering all the powerful monsters your party has defeated,"

"Hmm? Take a look," I said, taking my Adventurer's card and sliding it across the table.

"Th-thirty-three?" she stuttered.

"Whaaat?!" Megumin whined, "You're already past level 30? I'm still only at level 29,"

"Quit the whining you," Aqua teased, "Me and Darkness are at 26, you don't have to worry about anything,"

"But that's normal!" Megumin countered, "Damage dealing Jobs always have higher levels!"

"You h-have a level 26 healer?!" Sena stammered, looking between us all with awe.

"Yeah," I answered simply, "Aqua is good at what she does,"

Aqua preened.

"Everyone is the party is damn good at what they do, but they're all very specialised, so I pick up the slack with a versatile Job," I explained to Sena.

"I-I see. It seems to work well," she complimented.

I smiled at her, "That it does,"

"And, um, one more question; have any of you happened to have seen Mitsurugi Kyouya recently? He was declared missing a week ago, and because he has an obvious grudge against you, I fear he may be hiding to 'get back' at you,"

Ah, so this is finally coming up.

I shook my head, "No, I haven't seen him since the trial,"

"Neither," agreed Aqua as Megumin and Darkness shook their heads.

"Alright!" I said, climbing to my feet, "Let's go fight so lizards!"

"Woo," Aqua said sarcastically, lazily rolling off the couch.

I walked to the door and picked up my new bow. It was something of my own creation.

It turned out, as I assumed, that Vanir was the general with access to Alchemy, so I had him teach me the skills. There were only two; 'Transform' and 'Transmute' and they were often used in tandem. As I didn't have the points for both, I chose 'Transform'; the ability to change the shape and structure of an object without changing the elemental composition. I could change the _molecular_ composition though, to some degree. For example, I could mix a little graphite with some iron, without the need to smelt them, to make steel.

With my new talent, I constructed a tall compound bow, because they are just so much better than recurves.

As I was not yet at the ability to make fibreglass with my new magic, I used aluminium for the frame and limbs, which ended up pushing the draw weight up to about 20kg **(~50lbs)**, which, while higher than I would like, was still relatively easy to use, due to my high level.

I also moulded some aluminium arrows with steel tips, as standard wooden arrows would not survive repeated use from such a powerful weapon.

It's what I had spent the last week doing, in fact. Once I made my bow, I manufactured arrow after arrow after arrow. The process burnt through all the mana I had available after I'd done about 15 of them, so currently, I had 90 of these stronger arrows. Despite their strength, they only weighed 20 grams each, making them differ very little from slightly longer wooden arrows.

With the quiver, and 50 arrows within, it only weighed two kilos, and with the bow itself at two and a half kilos, it was a breeze to carry it all on my back.

"Come on, we've got a quest now, so let's get to it!" I told the girls, keen to try my new armament.

They followed obediently, quickly preparing themselves for combat in just a few minutes, and then we left, with Sena following.

We were waiting in the Guild hall as Darkness went to register us for the quest, when I spotted a familiar face.

"Hey Yunyun," I greeted as I walked over to her seat, "Have you decided on joining the party yet?"

She looked at me, obviously surprised by my sudden appearance, before opening her mouth hesitantly.

"You know what? Don't answer that. Before you decide, we should do a test quest, to see if we're compatible," I told her, "We, uh- We're just picking up a quest now, actually, to exterminate some of the Lizard Runners. If you're free, maybe you'd like to join us?" I asked with falsified uncertainty.

She smiled shyly, "Yeah, I'm free! I'd um, like to join you, yeah,"

I brightened, "Cool. Do you need to get ready or anything?"

She shook her head, "No, I carry my equipment everywhere," she explained.

"Smart,"

Her face flushed at the compliment, "Th-thank you,"

"Let's go meet up with the rest of the party and we can get going,"

She stood and followed me back to my waiting party.

"Hey guys," I greeted, "Yunyun's gonna be joining us for the quest, alright? Where's Sena?" I asked, noting her disappearance.

"Had other stuff to do," Megumin supplied.

I nodded in understanding, before looking at Darkness, "Got the quest?"

She proceeded to wave it at me.

"Cool, let's get going then,"

And so, our party plus one began walking for the town gates.

* * *

We were only a couple minutes out of town when I directed conversation to tactics.

"Alright, I've got a plan, let me know what you think," I began, "There's a big tree in the field right by where the Lizards currently are. That's where we'll set up. First, I'll take out the Queen Runner, that'll put them into a panic," I paused in thought.

"Yunyun, Aqua, do either of you have a spell that can attract enemies?"

"I do!" Aqua answered.

"Good. So Aqua, you cast that and attract them to the tree. They'll all funnel in close and Megumin can hit them with 'Explosion',"

Megumin nodded.

"Aqua, you can then get Megumin and yourself behind the tree for safety, while Darkness stands ten metres ahead to push them away from the tree. Yunyun, you cast AOE spells ahead-"

"Ay-oh-ee?"

"Right, sorry, 'Area-of-Effect' spells. Spells that'll hurt any enemies in an area, rather than targeting one monster in particular,"

She hummed in understanding.

"So you use the AOE's in front of Darkness to whittle them down as they approach and Aqua can keep Darkness healed for whenever she gets hit. You'll mainly be a deterrent, Darkness, while me and Yunyun take out as many as we can,"

Darkness nodded.

"From what I know, the Runners are fast, but they're not incredibly agile, so once they run past, we'll have enough time to set up for them while they turn around,"

They all nodded their understanding.

"So how's that sound?"

"Hey Kazuma?" Megumin asked, "How are you so good at making plans like this?"

I snickered, "I dunno, just am, I guess. It's not _that_ spectacular of a plan, but it should work pretty well,"

I looked ahead.

"And there's the tree. So everyone knows what they're doing?"

More nods.

"Then let's kill us some Runners,"

Once we reached the lone tree of the field, the runners were visible.

I took a running start and rapidly scaled the tree.

Using 'Far-Sight', a skill I had manufactured with illusion magic, I located the Queen Runner. Her large stature and frills made her quite easy to spot.

"I've got eyes on the Queen," I told the women below me, "Get yourselves ready," I said, drawing my bow.

"Wha? But they're like, a hundred metres away!" Yunyun exclaimed.

"Eh, more like eighty. I can hit the shot easy," I argued.

"But arrows can't get that far! Let alone stay lethal! There's no way you'll be able to kill the Queen!" she countered.

I smirked at her, drawing my arrow back, letting it settle into the bow's natural draw-weight valley.

"Watch me," and the arrow flew.

Yunyun watched the arrow soar away at speeds she could barely comprehend, let alone follow, so she simply looked to the target ahead, mouth open.

There was a loud screech and the Queen runner collapsed, an arrow having lodged itself in her brain.

Then chaos erupted.

"Aqua!"

"'Force Fire'!" she chanted and a white-blue flame erupted from her open palms.

The panicking runners spotted the flame, and immediately began a charge towards us.

"Megumin!"

I already had another arrow nocked, which I quickly drew and sent into the pack of accelerating lizards. One at the front of the pack fell to the ground face-first, dead, its body rolling with no way other way of distributing its momentum.

"'Explosion'!"

A wall of fire spontaneously appeared within the pack with the end of her spell, killing many, but also leaving plenty to continue their charge.

"Yunyun! Darkness!" I yelled, another arrow flying away, killing another runner.

They were already halfway by the time Yunyun finished her chant.

"'Spiritual Combustion'!"

A column of flame erupted ahead of the waiting Darkness.

More died, but they seemed never-ending.

And then, they were upon us.

I had been flinging out arrows as fast as I could, but now I put my bow away and dropped to the floor, instead drawing my sword.

They poured around, Darkness the origin of the spilt stood tall, like a reincarnation of Moses parting the Red Sea.

I dashed at the left wall and swung, my sword singing its deadly melody, carving through the torrent of flesh without resistance, the highly sharpened blade not impeded by the Lizards' combined armour.

I began casting from within my mind, and shock and fire and ice and earth joined the fray, mixing and matching with Yunyun's spells and my own weapon for the express purpose of killing as many reptiles as possible.

After what felt like an eternity, the ranks began to thin. We were reaching the end of the pack.

And then they passed.

I took a moment to survey the surroundings.

It was a fucking warzone.

Scorch marks, craters, bodies, and blood covered the entire earth in a large area around the tree.

There were well over a hundred dead Runners. Some with arrows sprouting from them, others in scorched pieces, burnt to a crisp, showing deep gash wounds, crushed by their brethren. There were so many bodies with so many differing causes of death that I can't be bothered to try and list them all.

I could feel blood and dirt caking my face, and a glance down concluded that it wasn't just my face that was covered.

I moved my left arm from the hilt of my sword and ran my arm across my face in a feeble attempt to clean it.

"Everyone good?! Darkness?" I yelled.

"I'm good!" Darkness replied, face flushed and looking fatigued.

"We're good too!" Aqua responded, peeking out from behind the tree.

I rushed over to her and found her attempting to hold a satisfied Megumin upright.

"Good. Aqua, can I distribute your mana while you heal Darkness?"

She nodded and quickly began casting.

I sheathed my sword and put my hands on Megumin and Aqua.

"Yunyun, get over here!" I called, having replenished Megumin's mana and life-force, "I'll replenish your mana for you!" I told her as I began to refill my own reserves.

"Wha- Will she be alright?" Yunyun questioned, motioning at Darkness.

I laughed, "Don't worry, she could do this a hundred times over. Now get here quick, we don't have much time,"

She hurried over, and I began siphoning mana to her from Aqua, rapidly filling her near depleted reserves.

With everyone stocked up, I drew my bow again and started firing precise shots into the mass of reptiles.

I reached my arm back for another arrow as they turned to face us head on, but found none.

I tossed the bow down behind me at the tree and drew my sword once more.

"Megumin!"

"'Explosion'!"

* * *

It took us an hour and a half to finish all the Runners.

An hour and a half of gruelling combat, with minute respites of near panicked reorganisation.

It was brutal, but now hundreds of Lizard Runners lay dead in a field, while the five of us walked free.

We had taken on an army, and come out unscathed.

I carried Megumin on my back, as she had fallen unconscious with her third 'Explosion', her body simply not able to keep up with the incredible magical and physical requirements.

I looked the worst off of the party, but I was unharmed. I was just covered in a combination of blood and dust, turning it into something of a black paste that my attempts to wipe it off had failed to reveal more than a square inch of pale skin beneath.

As we made it back to town, our passage attracted to the stares of townsfolk and adventurers combined.

I handed Megumin off to Darkness in a trade for the Quest sheet we had taken, before I split with the four women, them heading for our house while I went to the guild.

I pushed the doors apart with a foot, not having the strength required to push them open with my exhausted arms.

All eyes were immediately on me.

"K-K-Kazuam-san?" Luna said, being the one to break the silence, "A-are you alright?"

I laughed as I approached the counter, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fucking _exhausted_ though. Here," I said, handing the quest back to her, "You might want to take this quest down, 'cos we completed it,"

"Huh? Completed? But it's an extermination quest," she countered.

"Yeah, and we killed _all_ of them,"

"Eh?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Look, just send a scout out to check the fields where they were grazing or whatever the fuck they were doing there, and you'll see, like, a whole bunch of 'em. We'll cash in exactly what we've done tomorrow, 'cos right I'm gonna go sleep for fifteen hours. Later, Luna,"

"Uh, goodbye Kazuma-san,"

* * *

I woke relatively early the next morning.

It was only around four in the afternoon when we got home yesterday, and so once I got back from the guild, I bathed, and went straight to sleep, hence why I woke up early.

Knowing I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, I got out of bed. It took longer than I'd like to admit to finish this stage. Aching muscles made sure of that.

With a bowl of cereal for breakfast, I sat down at the kotatsu and began drawing up the schematics of my compound bow.

The first awake was someone I wasn't expecting.

Yunyun.

She walked into the main room, rubbing at her eyes sleepily.

"Morning Yunyun," I said to the tired girl, "Hungry?"

She nodded mutely.

I pointed towards the kitchen, "There's a bunch of food in the cupboard, and there's cutlery and bowls and stuff in the left draws,"

She nodded again and walked to the kitchen silently.

After a few minutes, she returned with a bowl of cereal herself and slowly sat at the kotatsu.

Her eyes widened at the unexpected warmth, "Oh," she mumbled.

"Good, isn't it?"

She nodded, and started on her breakfast.

I let her be, and returned to my blueprint.

"Kazuma-san," she mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"Do you… Would you still take me in your party?" she asked shyly.

I grinned at her and offered her a hand.

"Welcome to the party Yunyun. I hope you'll take good care of us,"

She took my hand and shook it, smile glowing.

"I will!"

Then Aqua arrived, yawning loudly.

"Morning Aqua," I turned to wave at her, but hissed as a wave of pain came from protesting muscles and joints.

"You okay?" she asked, concern apparent as she started towards me.

I smiled, rubbing where the pain was coming from, "Just a little stiff," I reassured.

She looked at me, unconvinced.

She walked around me and plopped herself down on the directly behind me. She raised her hands and put them on my shoulders and began to massage them.

Holy shit that feels good.

"Oh, okay. That, uh, that's really good," I complimented.

"'A little stiff'. Yeah right," she mocked, "If you'd just told me I would have helped you out,"

I sighed as her fingers worked away the tenseness of my shoulders and upper-back.

"Yeah, yeah. For real though; thanks Aqua, this seriously helps. How are you so good at massaging anyway?"

I felt her shrug, "Just something I picked up from back home,"

Huh. Weird skill to learn in heaven of all places.

"Meet our newest party member, by the way," I said, nodding to Yunyun.

"Finally convinced her to join then?" Aqua asked with an audible smile.

"Wha-"

"Yeah. Needed to use the bath again before deciding, I guess," I teased.

"Eh? I-I didn't-"

"It _is_ a good bath," Aqua confirmed, nodding, before breaking into a fit of giggles at seeing Yunyun's flushed face.

Yunyun pouted in response.

It's not very effective…

"You're gonna have to get used to banter Yunyun, or you'll end up as the butt of everyone's jokes, like this one," I said, jabbing a thumb at the woman behind me.

"Bold words for someone who's being taken care of by 'this one'," Aqua countered.

"Uh, please don't hit me?"

Yunyun laughed.

* * *

We had decided to take the day off. Considering how busy our day was yesterday, I think that that's valid.

We had all stopped by the guild to prove that we had killed all the Lizard Runners, but that only took us a couple of minutes.

After that, we all returned to relaxing at home. Or we tried to, at least, because then Vanir showed up.

He had some childish spat with Aqua before he turned to me, impatiently asking if I had any creation ready to make.

"I have several, actually," I told him, "Here. We'll do this one first," I said, handing him the finished blueprint of the compound bow.

In a world where archery is a tool for survival, this would reap the quickest rewards.

He examined the plans.

"Thou put pulleys… on a bow? Moi must admit, should it work, it would be very impressive…" he mused.

"Oh, it _does_ work. It's what I used all of yesterday," I told him with a smirk, grabbing the bow to show it off.

He took the bow from my offering hands and examined it, "Thou hast made it of metal, but it is much lighter than it look," he concluded.

"Yeah. Aluminium. It's too light and flexible for swords and other melee weapons, but for a bow-"

"It would be perfect,"

"Exactly. It's much more durable, you can also set the draw weight very precisely, and with how the pulleys are set, it sits at full draw much more comfortably. Don't dry-fire it though. The limbs store a significantly larger amount of energy, and dry-firing is quite a bit worse,"

He drew the bow back with easy, and his eyes widened as the bow reached the weight valley.

"See? A normal bow is much harder to hold at full draw because of its linear draw-weight curve, but the pulleys change the curve completely, making it harder to begin, but much easier to finish,"

"Moi is beginning to understand. Thou art quite brilliant, no?"

I grinned, "I suppose I am. So how about we get to making them? I already bought a bunch of aluminium; it's super cheap 'cos no-one wants it,"

"Yes, let us begin,"

* * *

We spent the morning creating bows and arrows.

Once I showed Vanir how to create one, and how it should be changed to adjust the draw-weight, he took off, and in the time it took me to create one more of the bows, he had made the other 38 of the decided 40 bows. Then we began working on arrows, which was slower (relatively) and more tedious, but after an hour we had 2000 arrows to sell.

Then we spent the next half hour carting all of it over to Wiz's shop, where it had been arranged that she would get 10% of profit for the use of her store, while Vanir and I got an equal split on what was left.

With the wares ready, I had Megumin, Darkness and Aqua go around town telling people I would begin selling 'the _new_ bow' at midday, while I did the same at the guild.

I didn't have Yunyun try to do it; she's too shy, so I had her go to Wiz's shop and help set up the weapons ready for purchase.

I also sent a letter with the most expensive courier to the Capital with an appeal for a patent.

The Dustiness Ford seal I had Darkness put on the letter should boost the processing speed.

The bows were set up just outside the store, with a target set just a small distance away.

By then, midday had arrived.

A crowd had already gathered outside, awaiting the demonstration.

"Hello everyone! Thank you for coming to the demonstration! I'll get right into it; _this_ is what I want to sell," I said, displaying my compound bow above my head.

"Yeah, it looks kinda strange, but it'll out-perform any bow with a similar draw-weight. Now, I can tell you're sceptical, so how's about a demonstration?"

I pointed at a female archer at the front of the crowd.

"You. I remember you from the battle of the Destroyer. You're a good shot. Would you mind helping my demonstration?"

She blinked, "Eh? Um, okay," she said as she stepped forward.

I smiled, "Thank you. What's the draw weight on your bow?"

"It's from nine to twelve kilograms,"

"Cool," I said, taking a bow with a similar weight, and two arrows, "Here," I said, handing her an arrow, "It's a little heavier than normal, but it's for consistency. Could you put this arrow into that target over there?"

She nodded, and nocked the arrow, drew it back, took aim, and released.

The arrow struck the target, a couple centimetres off the middle, but there were no markings, so that wasn't unexpected.

"Nice shot, now try it with my bow. Draw it, but don't fire it right away,"

She nodded and drew, before letting out a startled "Wha?" as she drew it back into the weight valley.

I grinned, "What my new friend here just discovered is the draw-weight valley. Because of the way the gears are shaped, at the end of the draw, the hold weight drops off significantly. So while this is needs about 12 kilograms of force to pull it all the way back, it only takes about three kilograms to hold it there," I told the audience, before turning back to the young archer, "Go on, let it fly,"

She obliged, and the arrow streaked across to the target at a significantly higher speed, hitting above the first by a few centimetres.

Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open as she glanced from the bow, to the target, and back again.

I walked to the target and pulled the small wooded panel off of it, showing an extra three centimetres of penetration on the first's five centimetres.

"Well," I said, showing off the differing arrows as the crowd murmured, "I think those are some pretty conclusive results. Would anyone else like to try?"

A dozen hands shot into the air.

I pointed at a bulkier man at the front and he stepped forward.

"What's your draw-weight pal?" I asked as Yunyun put another wooden panel on the target.

"Twenty kilograms," he said.

I nodded and handed him an arrow.

"Here, put this in the target, high or low, and you'll put the second one on the other, sound good?"

"Sounds good," he grinned, taking the arrow and nocking it immediately.

He fired, and it landed high.

I took my bow off my back.

"Here, you can use my personal bow, it's weighted at 20, like yours," I said, "Now test her out, get a feel for it before you put one low,"

He took a hold of it, and shifted it around in his hands, getting used to the weight distribution and string tension.

"It's real light. Is this even made of metal?" he asked.

"It is. They're made of aluminium, a metal that's much lighter and more flexible with steel. Not suitable for melee weapons, but excellent for bows, if you know how to distribute the force. So the bow ends up incredibly durable, without having to sacrifice much of its light-weight nature,"

The man nocked the arrow and pulled it back to full draw and whistled, "This valley is _something_," he laughed, "I feel like I could hold this forever!"

"Maybe," I laughed, "but that wouldn't be very entertaining to watch, so let's see what it can do,"

He grinned, and let the arrow fly.

Like with the first woman, the second arrow flew _much_ faster.

"By Eris that's fast!" he exclaimed.

I held out another arrow.

"Try it again, and tell me what you notice… apart from the speed, I mean,"

He obliged, quickly nocking it, drawing it, and firing.

It hit next to the second, below the first.

"So?" I questioned, "Notice anything?"

"It went back to the exact same spot, didn't it?"

"_Exactly_. Because the string is attached to the gears, there is a maximum draw distance, right behind the weight-valley, so every single time, your arrow is gonna shoot out with the same speed,"

I took my bow back from him and lifted it above my head.

"These bows are tougher, faster and more consistent. They're so much stronger, in fact, that wooden arrows couldn't keep up with repeated use, so I had to make some metal ones! Now, some of the more astute of you may have noticed these odd hooks on the string," I said, a few in the crowd nodding.

"Well they're there for a very specific reason,"

I lowered my bow to the floor and stood on the string, before pulling the bow upwards, I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a new, darker string.

Some eyes widened in understanding.

I lent down and put the loops on the ends of the new strings over the teardrop shaped hooks on either side. Then I lowered the bow, and lifted my foot off the string, this time lowering it over the new string so the old one was loose, and I took it off the hooks, leaving the bow with a new string.

"The bows can be restrung in seconds too! No more time wasted trying to keep the bow taut enough to restring it!"

"Now," I said, returning the bow to my back, "Today I have 40 bows for sale, varying between 10 and 20 kilogram draw-weights, and I'll have more available once the materials I need arrive. Each comes with 50 metal arrows, a backup string, _and_ a wrench to adjust the draw-weight by a couple kilograms either way, and I'm selling them for only 30,000 Eris **($300)**! So who's interested in a purchase?"

Then the chaos erupted.

* * *

I sold out in three minutes.

But walking out with half a million Eris for a few hours work was _very_ worthwhile.

It was later that Yunyun said something innocuous that spurred a change of plan.

She had taken another bath and commented that it was like 'our very own hot-spring', when Megumin and Aqua, being the highly indulgent women they were, had an idea. With the idea firmly cemented, they then demanded that we go to Alcanretia, the city of water and hot-springs for a short holiday.

So it was decided we would head for Alcanretia in the morning.

Come said morning, and Aqua, Yunyun and I were packed and ready to go, while Darkness and Megumin were only just getting out of bed.

"You guys get those two ready to go, I'll get us some tickets," I told them.

They agreed and so I left to get tickets. But not without a quick detour.

I stopped by Wiz's store to meet up with Vanir again.

I opened the door, the small bell above me chiming.

"Welcome!" Vanir greeted before spotting me, "Kazuma? Your active hours are like that of an undead," he said, shaking his head, "If thou art looking for the owner, she had been burned to a crisp by moi punishment beam inside-"

"Hey man, I'm fine _not_ knowing about the kinks you guys have,"

He glared at me, unamused.

"If moi keeps letting the fool purchase the things she does, we will be bankrupt even _with_ the production of thou creations," he explained.

"What'd she buy this time? Something else that explodes in your face when you use it?" I laughed.

"No. She purchased a box of magically compressing portable toilets that are ready once thou opens the cover. It also produces the sound of running water for privacy," he informed.

"That… sounds useful, so what's the catch?"

"The water sounds are too loud and attract monsters, and the water it produces to clean is too great, leading to flooding," he deadpanned.

I tried to stifle my laughter, but only ended up coughing my lungs out.

"Well good luck with her. And here, this is why I came here," I said, handing him the other completed diagrams of the steam engine, loom, and typewriter, "Look through them as you want, I'll properly explain them in a couple of days. I'm going for a short holiday to Alcanretia,"

"The hot-spring city? Say… Could thou take the foolish shop keep with thou?" he asked hopefully.

Why not?

"Eh, sure,"

So I went to the back room and picked up the unconscious woman, putting her on my back for ease of carrying.

I walked back into the main room to find Vanir studying the diagrams intently.

"Later Vanir. See you in a few days,"

"Mm, see thou then,"

With the mediocre goodbye complete, I left, now ready to purchase the tickets.

I found a carriage that was traveling to Alcanretia with five seats available at the front, and one more inside the carriage itself.

I transferred some of my life-force into Wiz to wake her up.

"Whu- Kazuma? How did I get here?" she asked.

"Uh, Vanir thought it'd be good if you came with us to Alcanretia for a holiday," I responded.

It wasn't a _lie_ per se.

She sighed, "That man is _too_ kind," she said, shaking her head fondly.

I let her down to the ground and handed her the carriage ticket.

"Here, you'll be in the carriage while my party will be up the front," I told her.

She smiled, "Thank you, see you again when we arrive Kazuma-san," she said kindly.

"Later Wiz," I responded as she climbed into the carriage.

I turned towards the path that lead home to see my party mates had finally arrived.

When they reached me, I explained that Wiz would be joining us, and that she was in the carriage while we were up the front.

By that time, we had to board, as the carriage was about to leave.

* * *

"Watch the pen," I told Megumin and Aqua as I rapidly twirled said pen between the fingers of my right hand. A menial skill that I had perfected in the past out of boredom.

"Are you watching?" I asked again, receiving determined nods in response.

I then took a coin in my left hand and flicked it high into the air. Their eyes immediately shifted to the rapidly spinning metal disk while I subtle slid the pen into my sleeve.

Aqua and Megumin followed the arc of the spinning coin, watching intently as it came down and landed heads in my now empty right hand.

Megumin noticed it first.

"Huh?! Where'd the pen go?!" she exclaimed.

"It was just there!" Aqua affirmed.

I laughed.

"The power of misdirection," I laughed as I started rolling the coin over my knuckles.

I was bored a lot, alright?

I flicked the coin to my other hand, and again, they watched it move as I slid the pen back out and began twirling it again.

"Wa- It's back!"

I laughed again.

But then I spotted something.

A dust cloud, right at the horizon.

"Hey, driver, there's a dust cloud heading our way, but the wind is still,"

He turned and spotted it too.

He hummed in thought.

"It's probably Hawkite Runners,"

What kind of a stupid fucking name is that?

"It's their mating season too, but we don't need to worry. Their mating ritual is to charge at hard objects and to dodge at the last second as a display of bravery. They're almost certainly targeting the rocks and such around us," the older man explained.

"I'd agree, but they're still aimed straight at us…"

He looked again, the distance already having shrunk significantly.

"They, uh," he gulped, "seem to be targeting this carriage specifically. Is anyone carrying adamantite or something?!" he asked, panic growing.

"Um," Darkness spoke up, "My armour contains adamantite,"

"They must be targeting that, then," I concluded, "They _dodge_ the hard objects, right? Is there a cliff or something nearby?"

"No cliffs! But there is some caverns just nearby!" he answered.

"Alright! Stop us and get everyone out of the carriage! Then take us there as fast as you can!"

The carriage braked rapidly, and as it came to a stop, I jumped out and opened the carriage door.

"Wiz! C'mon, we need your help!" I told her.

"Right!" she responded, immediately launching out of the carriage and jumping up to the front passenger section.

I followed her, but not before cutting the connecting rope that held the passenger cart to the front.

I jumped up onto the front carriage, and after getting secure, yelled at the driver, "Go! Go! Go! To the caverns!"

He obliged, and spurred the horses into a gallop.

As we tore away, the Hawkites followed us, and despite our great speed, they still gained on us.

I drew my bow.

"Yunyun! Help me! Just like the last Runners!" I told her as I began unleashing arrow after arrow at the closest runners.

"Got it!" she yelled back as she lifted herself to a kneeling position and began casting.

Bolts of lightning, arcs of fire and waves of ice streaked at the Hawkites, each spell killing or wounding multiple monsters.

But they ran on, and though the cavern was now in sight, they were still gaining.

"Wiz! Slow 'em down!"

"Okay! 'Bottomless Swamp'!"

The ground behind us, but in front of the Hawkites softened, turning into something like quicksand, and the monsters bolted right into it.

Many fells and got stuck, but they soon figured out how to get around.

Though it only bought us a few seconds, those seconds were enough.

The carriage slid to a stop very near the drop down into the cavern.

I was already moving, pulling Darkness with me off the carriage behind me.

"Aqua! Boost her luck!" I called to her, and she began casting immediately, "Megumin! Get 'Explosion' ready!" I yelled, and she too began chanting.

As I ran, dragging Darkness behind me, I heard Aqua shout, "'Blessing'!" and Darkness glowed briefly.

We ran to the edge, the Hawkites closing in on us.

"Go!" I shouted to Darkness, "Go to the edge and get down!"

"Okay!" she responded, her eyes full on anticipation.

Not trusting her to keep herself out of harm's way, I cast 'Bind' on her once she neared the edge. Ropes burst from my fingertips and homed in on Darkness, wrapping around her frame as she tripped and fell to the ground.

The Hawkites had arrived.

I watched as one by one, they sprinted at Darkness and willingly leapt over her to their demise.

Well, the fall wouldn't kill them, but it'd make it damn hard to get out when the explosion went off.

The last monster jumped over Darkness, so I bolted back to here, grabbed the ropes that surrounded her, and used them to hoist her onto my shoulder, then I started running back to the carriage.

"Megumin!" I screamed.

"'Explosion'!"

* * *

**My my, **_**three**_** explosions in one day, and ending off **_**two**_** consecutive chapters with her spell? Is Megumin turning into the star of the show?**

**So I decided not to have Gilded edit this one so I could have another day to do more writing, which is why this chapter is at nearly 7k rather than the 6k I normally do, as a reward to everyone for the last couple of weeks, where I skipped a week, and the next chapter was short too. But, it's not edited, so there are probably some mistakes, so let me know if you spot any, and I'll fix it up!**

**I really enjoyed writing this one. It was like, 90% or more original work, and I had fun writing all the scenes. The combat was exciting, the salesman part was enjoyable (I did a bunch of research into compound bows for this, and I think I represented them well), and the chase at the end quick but fun! But let me know what you guys thought of it.**

**Oh, I also recently got an upgrade to my internet, and it is **_**so**_** much better. Not good by normal standards, but much better, so I've started watching Twitch streamers a bunch, and one of them I've been watching heaps of. A guy called ImagineGG. He does Minecraft Hardcore streams and is pretty small (I'm his first and only sub), and he's staying in Korea, which is only 1 hour ahead by timezones, so the streams aren't at like, 2 in the morning like with people who are NA or EU. He streams most days (like 50% of days) and I'm at every one, so if you wanna stop by and say hi, you can catch me there!**

**Sorry for advertising again lmao.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you next week!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,751**

**Story: 78,295**


	14. Chapter 14

The sun was setting on our first day of travel, and what a day it had been.

With the chaos of the Hawkites successfully dealt with, our party encountered a very different type of chaos that stemmed from the attention we received from everyone else in the travel party.

Praise, thanks, and more was piled high onto our small group of six by nearly a hundred others.

"Come, eat more! Help yourself! This meat is of the highest quality!" a man offered.

I waved him off, having already eaten my fill and more, Aqua however, readily accepted.

"I had no idea that an Arch-Wizard that could use 'Explosion' was in the caravan!" a young adventurer gushed.

"And an Arch-Priest who could heal everyone without breaking a sweat!" another laughed.

Unfortunately, our sudden stop at the head of the caravan had caused some minor crashes further down the line. Those who had been harmed were all later healed by Aqua once we got back.

"And you," an adventurer pointed at me, "came up with such a brilliant plan so quickly! I heard you spotted them first, and already had the strategy falling from your mouth by the time you finished your warning!"

I laughed, "A bit of an exaggeration, but sure, I _do_ seem to have a knack for coming up with plans quickly. But seriously, we really don't need your guys' pay for this trip,"

"What are you saying? You're the guys who killed _all_ the Hawkites!" the adventurer countered.

"That's true," I admitted, "I mean, if you all really want us to have it instead, I suppose we can take some of it," I said, returning to my task.

Megumin and Darkness watched me closely as I slowly worked the dents and scratches from Darkness' armour.

"And what's with you two? What's so incredible about me fixing armour?"

"It's my armour," Darkness countered, "and it's cool to see it be repaired right in front of my eyes,"

"And it's impressive," Megumin continued, "You could probably make a living as a smith, if you wanted,"

I smiled, "Magic sure is a boon,"

Megumin nodded in agreement.

While we were sat around a small campfire, Aqua was at the main one, performing various tricks, to the delight of the audience.

She had also, for some reason, recruited Wiz and Yunyun as aids aides in her performance.

Her audience applauded and cheered at another successful trick.

It's so weird that she's so good at so many random things… though I guess I'm not too different, am I?

We stayed awake a while longer, talking, eating and drinking, before we eventually decided to get some sleep, so I lay down on a bedroll, and quickly fell into unconsciousness.

And I slept well, until I didn't.

I woke suddenly, and for no apparent reason.

But then I realised why; my 'Detect Enemy' skill was going haywire.

I reached to my left and started roughly shaking Aqua's shoulder.

"Wha?" she mumbled wearily as her eyes began to open.

"Wake up!" I whispered as loudly as I dared, "We're surrounded by enemies!"

"Huh?!" she whispered back, evidently still waking.

It was then that the adventurer who was on guard shouted, "Everyone up! We've got enemies incoming!" he warned.

With the cover of stealth gone, I stood and took out a torch, quickly lighting it with magic to get a look at the monsters that approached.

They were humanoid, but their movements were too stiff.

I raised the torch higher to shed more light upon them.

I looked at the closest one. It looked human, but further inspection revealed grey skin and missing limbs. Rotting flesh filled with cuts and holes, hair missing in clumps, and the stench of decay served as information enough to come to the conclusion that they were zombies of some kind.

"They're undead!" I shouted to the rousing adventurers in warning.

"Undead?!" Aqua exclaimed as she climbed to her feet, "Trying to attack us while we slept, how dare you! 'Turn Undead'!" she chanted, the spell flying from her outstretched hands and vaporising a few zombies within the vicinity.

She immediately began hunting down zombies, purifying each one she came across, and within minutes, the 'threat' was dealt with.

More praise and thanks were directed at my party, but before long, the excitement died down and everyone returned to sleep.

* * *

"Thank you all for your help! Enjoy your vacation!" the leader of the caravan said cheerily to our party as we finally arrived at our destination.

As a parting gift, he gave us each a coupon for what was apparently the largest hotel in the city.

"We're finally here!" cheered Aqua as she danced about in elation, "Alcanretia! The city of water, and hot springs!"

The city itself was cut into a mountain and lay next to a range of beautiful lakes. The mountain, which was definitely volcanic, was pockmarked with hot springs, so water was transported from the lakes to the springs for easy heating.

The buildings all displayed a base colour of blue, but each carried a unique twist to its colouration, giving the area a bright and vibrant feeling.

Another thing of note was that while the Demon King army rampaged around the known world, this city remained untouched.

Some say that the army already attempted an invasion, but with its failure, it wasn't attempted again.

Others claim that the goddess of water herself, Aqua-sama, protected the city and its inhabitants from the demonic fighters.

But the widely accepted theory was that the Demon King simply wanted _nothing_ to do with the deranged cultists that made up the majority of the citizens.

"Welcome to Alcanretia! Are you here for sightseeing?" A local woman began, "To join the cult? To adventure? For baptism? If you are looking for a job, please come to the Axis cult! We have an opening right now to explain how wonderful the Axis cult is, the pay is _very _appealing. If you take the job, you'll also get the privilege of calling yourself an Axis cultist! Come, come, join us!" she exclaimed.

She turned to face Aqua and gasped, "What beautiful blue hair! Is it natural?" she asked.

"Why yes," Aqua affirmed with a smile, "it _is_ natural,"

"You're so lucky! I wish I had such gorgeous hair!" the woman gushed.

Aqua thanked her bashfully, unprepared for the sudden praise.

"And no," I told the woman, "We're not here to join, she's already a priest of the cult," I said, gesturing at Aqua.

"Ah! I see! Farewell comrades!" she told us, "Enjoy your stay!"

With the woman having vanished into the crowd, we continued walking into the town.

"Hey," I whispered to Aqua, "Make sure you don't reveal that you're actually a goddess,"

"I know that," she countered, "I'm not dumb,"

"I know you're not," I lied, "Just thought it'd be safer to remind you anyway,"

She nodded in understanding.

"I'm so excited," she nearly squealed, "This is the main base of the Axis Cult! I can't wait to look around!"

No wonder she wanted to come here, nearly everyone here worships her.

"I'm sure you are," I laughed, "Let's head to the hotel first though. You can go explore _after_ we know where we're sleeping,"

She pouted at me, "Aww," she whined, stretching the syllable, "But I wanted to see the church _now_," she mock complained.

I rolled my eyes.

We arrived at the hotel shortly after, it being very close to the city entrance.

"Welcome to the Star Spring Hotel!" the receptionist greeted when we entered, "Are you looking to stay?"

"Yes," I told her, presenting the coupons, "We have these for here. What do they get us?"

She examined the coupons.

"Oh my," she exclaimed, "These give each of you access to the Royal Suite! All expenses are covered with this coupon for our most expensive rooms!"

I whistled.

Those were some good fucking coupons.

We allowed the staff to take our bags from us and direct us to our rooms.

Wiz decided to rest in her room, as being in proximity to Aqua for such an extended period of time had left her feeling weak.

"Now I can go visit the church!" Aqua exclaimed.

I looked at Megumin, and she met my gaze. I glanced at Aqua, then back to her, silently asking if she could babysit the overeager woman.

To my relief, she nodded.

"I'll come with you, Aqua," Megumin said, "You can show me what it's like,"

"Yeah!" Aqua agreed eagerly, and off they went.

I looked to Darkness and Yunyun, "What about you guys? Up for seeing the sights?" I asked.

"I'm going to look around the hotel for a while," answered Yunyun, "See if I can use one of the hot springs. I'm all achy from the ride," she explained.

"Smart," I laughed, "How about you, Darkness? I was thinking of looking around and coming back in time for dinner,"

Darkness nodded, "That sounds like a good idea," she answered, "I don't know cities, apart from Axel, very well,"

We exited the hotel, and began our exploration.

"Excuse me sir!" a stall owner said to me, "Try my Arcane bun, made from all-natural ingredients harvested by the elves! It's much better than all the cheap stuff you get around here," he claimed.

The stall owner was an elf. Tall and handsome, with pale skin and green hair, long, pointed ears visible.

"Oi! Don't get cocky jackass!" came a new voice.

A very short, but wide man, likely a dwarf, with a long and full beard.

"Just 'cos it's expensive don't mean it's good! Here sir, try my special dwarven meat bun! It's full to the brim with high quality meat, and will remain good for ages, a specialty that grants it a great value!"

Something's off.

The dwarf's beard. There's no way any baker worth his bread would have a beard like that. Too unsanitary. The colour was also ever so slightly darker than the brown hair on the top of his head.

It was fake.

I looked deep into his store. There was a door on the left side at the back.

But that would lead into…

The elf's shop.

I looked back at the elf, examining him closely.

His ear had a small line across them. No, both ears had it. Fake? Probably.

"An elf and a dwarf!" Darkness exclaimed quietly, "Hey Kazuma, there are elves and dwarves here! They look just like the way I heard in stories when I was little,"

Ah. Just like the stories, huh?

"So it would seem," I said, glancing between them.

"Look what you did!" The elf exclaimed, "The customer is confused. He is just here to look around, but is now at a loss because you pressured him. Back off, lowly dwarf," he ordered haughtily.

They were putting on a show.

"Stop the bullshit! The customer wants to browse my wares, he is troubled because you are bothering him! He wants to buy my goods, so scram, you pale green elf!"

"Hey, don't fight!" Darkness exclaimed in a panic, "I'll, uh, buy from both stores!"

The elf and dwarf smiled.

I put an arm in front of her as she moved forward.

"No, we will not,"

The smiles dropped, being replaced with confusion.

"We will not be purchasing anything from _liars_ who take advantage of their customers' kind hearts," I said, expression dark, as they're faces morphed into shock, "Nice _beard_. Nice _ears_. Look like they're _right out of the stories_, wouldn't you say?"

"K-Kazuma?!"

I turned on my heel, grabbed Darkness's hand, and began walking away, dragging her with me.

"W-wait! Sir!" the dwarf began, pulling the false beard off, much to Darkness's shock.

"W-we didn't mean it like that!" the elf continued, pulling off the fake ears to reveal very human looking ones beneath.

"They were f-fake?!"

I rounded on the liars.

"Bullshit! That's exactly what it was for, wasn't it?!" I countered.

They looked away guiltily.

"_Liars_ don't get past me, so you can both fuck right off," I told them, turning away once more, "C'mon Darkness, we're taking our business elsewhere,"

Her face hardened, and she followed me away.

* * *

I bit into the kebab I had just purchased as Darkness examined her own.

We walked the streets aimlessly, admiring the clean and beautiful city.

A young girl walked the road ahead of us, carrying a large crate, so I moved to the side to let her pass. However, as she passed, she lost her balance and dropped her crate to the ground, apples spilling from the open container and rolling across the ground.

Darkness and I stopped, and bent down to help the young girl retrieve her lost fruit.

When it was all returned, she looked at us with a bright smile, "Thank you very much! You've both been a big help!" she said cheerfully.

"It was nothing," Darkness returned, "Anyone would have helped,"

"Even so, please allow me to repay your kindness! There's a café run by the Axis Cult just up ahead, let me buy you a drink!"

A girl this young is a recruiter?

"No thank you," I told her, "We've already got other plans,"

I stood and turned, pulling Darkness with me, until the girl grasped my cloak.

"Wait! I may not look it, but I'm great at fortune-telling! If you come with me I'll tell you your fortune, free of charge!" she pleaded.

"No," I rebuked immediately, "Let go of my clothing,"

I shook her hand off my cloak, but then she dived at me, wrapping her arms around my mid-section, making me stumble, but remain standing.

"The results are in! If you continue on this path, great misfortune will befall you!"

"Great misfortune is already befalling me!"

"You can avoid this misfortune by joining the Axis Cult!"

I rolled my eyes, and pried her hands from my chest.

"Look girl, I won't join your cult; I'm a nihilist," I told her.

"Nihilist?" she questioned.

I bent down so my eyes were level with hers.

"Nothing matters. Everyone dies and life has no meaning. All religion is false. We will all be lost to the sands of time, dead and forgotten," I said quietly, staring into her eyes.

She looked frightened as she pulled he arms from my grasps, turned tail, and scampered away.

I sighed.

"Well that was a pain," I said.

"She was… adamant," Darkness continued.

I nodded in agreement.

We began walking again, before a thin woman and burly man made an appearance from an alleyway.

The woman screamed.

"Save me! You two over there, please help me! This man who is probably an Eris devotee wants to drag me to a deserted corner!"

Oh my fucking god these people.

The burly man cackled, "Do you happen to be an Axis cultist? Haha! If I see a strong and handsome Axis cultist, I would definitely run away. Since you are not, I will proceed hesitantly! If you want to stop me who had been blessed by the dark goddess Eris, you will regret it!"

I slammed my palm into my face with a large amount of force.

"Fuck both of you! Your religions are false! Life is meaningless!" I shouted at them.

Their gaping mouths were quite amusing to see as I dragged Darkness away.

To escape the rampant cultists we entered a store.

"Congratulations! You're the one millionth customer to enter! You'll have to join the Axis Cult as a formality, but we'll give you this high value memento!"

Oh my _god_. Fuck off already!

I pointedly ignored the store employee and went further into the shop.

A nearby girl hummed to herself as she studied me.

"Oh! Long time, no see!" see exclaimed, seemingly coming to a realisation, "How have you been? We were in the same class at school, remember?" she laughed lightly, "Though I guess it's not surprising you don't recognise me. I've changed a lot since joining the Axis Cult,"

I looked at her.

"Oh, you mean with Mr. Satou?" I asked.

"Yeah!" she answered quickly, smiling.

"Really? That's funny, because last time I checked, _I_ was Mr. Satou," her smile dropped, "you lying whore. Now fuck off. I'm not joining your _stupid_ fucking cult, so tell all your _buddies_ to 'leave me the fuck alone'," I finished.

I'm going to stab one of these fuckers real fucking soon if they keep this shit up.

I pulled Darkness along behind me, out of the store and back onto the street and we turning into an alleyway to avoid more of the cultists.

A little girl ran along the path in our direction, no older than ten years old.

Her foot caught on the path, and her eyes widened as she pitched forward.

I 'Dash'ed forward, and managed to catch her before she landed on her face by grabbing a hold of her small shoulders.

She pulled herself upright, nearly overcompensating and falling backwards, but then steadied herself.

"Th-thank you," she stuttered, breathless, "Wh-what's your name mister?"

I crouched down, "I'm Kazuma, and this is my friend Darkness. Are you alright? Nearly had a bad fall there,"

"Ka-za-ma? Dar-ku-ness? How do you spell those? Could you show me?" she asked, presenting a sheet of paper she had been carrying.

'Axis Cult Registration Form' it read.

I breathed in and out deeply through my nose.

"Look kid," I said darkly, "I recommend never doing this again, because if you do this with someone less forgiving than I am, they might hurt you. Someone who _wants_ to join the Cult _will_, someone who _doesn't_, _won't_, and you can't change their decision, so just leave them be, or they just might get _angry,_"

She nodded dumbly, and ran away, vanishing onto the streets.

"I hate this fucking city,"

* * *

"Welcome to the Axis Church! I don't recognise you, are you here to sign up? To pray?" asked a priest at the entrance to the Axis Cult's main church who swept the floors.

"I'm looking for a blue-haired Arch Priest. She said she was coming here, have you seen her?" I asked.

Her face showed recognition, "Yes, I have, and indeed she is here. The other priests are currently busy with other tasks, so she has graciously taken over the confession booth,"

"Thank you. Darkness, you try find Megumin, I'll get Aqua," I told my companion.

We parted, Darkness to explore the church, while I bee-lined for the confession booth.

Seeing as I wouldn't really be able to call her name aloud, I slipped into the other side of the booth.

"Welcome," Aqua's voice said kindly, "Come, confess your sins. The goddess will listen, and forgive your sins, as she is kind and fair,"

I snickered.

"And humble too, I guess?"

"Eh? Kazuma?!" Aqua gasped, opening the divider.

"Yo. Your modesty is truly _inspiring_,"

Her face flushed.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" she said, attempting to change the subject.

I allowed it, "Me and Darkness are finished exploring. Your followers ruined it for us, unfortunately,"

"Huh?! What did they do?" she exclaimed.

"They're very…" I paused, searching for a word, "_Insistent_. They kept trying to coerce us into joining your following. Even when I told them I wasn't interested in joining - and I mean, I've got you, so why would I? – they still kept trying to make me join,"

"Th-they were?" she gaped.

"Yeah. I mean, considering how _you_ are, shouldn't they all be about kindness and compassion?"

Her face flushed at the indirect compliment

"Uh... Y-yeah, something like that,"

I shook my head, "Anyway, we were gonna head back to the hotel, get some dinner, then enjoy the hot springs. You gonna be here much longer?"

"Hot springs? Ah, no! I was just finishing, actually!" she answered hurriedly.

"Cool, wanna get going then?" I asked, "Oh, and here's Megumin and Darkness. Good timing,"

"Yeah, let's get some food, I'm starving!"

* * *

"Ah, welcome back everyone!" Wiz greeted as we entered the large main room, playing a board game with Yunyun, "I've already been to the hot springs, and they're excellent! The staff told me the mixed bath was larger, so I decided to go there! There was no-one else there, like I had booked it for myself, it was great!"

I laughed, "Sounds awesome. We're gonna check it out after dinner. How 'bout you Yunyun? How was your day?"

"The hot springs were great!" she returned, "But when I went sightseeing, those cultists kept pressuring me to join, so I came back to the hotel,"

"Ah, unlucky. We had the same problem. You guys hungry?"

With their agreement, we went to the dining room of the hotel, where we swapped stories, jokes, and banter, all the while enjoying the grand selection of foods that the hotel had to offer.

With stomachs full and spirits high, we left for the hot springs.

The mixed one, mind you. Not because I'm some raging pervert, I don't really care about seeing them if I don't get to use them after. I did it because Megumin and Aqua's reactions will be fucking hilarious.

Plus, bathing together is rather intimate, strengthens pre-built trust like crazy, and should earn me some _huge _affection points.

We arrived at the hot spring Wiz had been in, and entered the gendered changing rooms.

I removed my clothing and wrapped a towel around my lower body.

I was the first out of the changing rooms. I let out a sigh as I slowly slipped into the heated water, enjoying the sensation.

Darkness came out second, a towel wrapped around her body. She spotted me in the water, and nearly stumbled, but caught herself, and continued to the edge, sliding herself into the spring.

Just a couple seconds later, Megumin and Aqua exited, lightly bickering.

They turned their heads to the hot spring, and immediately froze.

Their faces went red as they clutched protectively at the towels surrounding their figures.

I blinked in 'confusion'.

"What?" I asked, "Is there something on my face?"

"N-n-no," Megumin stammered, attempting to hide behind Aqua.

"W-we weren't e-expecting it t-to be m-mixed," Aqua stuttered, which Megumin vigorously nodded to.

"Huh? But I got directions from Wiz for the mixed bath. She said, it was bigger, remember?" I explained. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I propped myself up with my elbows on the ground behind me, exposing my chest, "Whatever. Look, just get in the water, it's real nice, and you're wasting time just standing there,"

"R-right," Aqua said, unable to tear her eyes from my midsection, Megumin in a similar situation.

She started taking shaky steps towards the water, Megumin trailing behind her.

They reached the edge, and Aqua's eyes darted between me, and the water in front of her.

"D-don't look!" she demanded.

I raised an eyebrow, before rolling my eyes and turning my head away from the bashful women.

After a few seconds of splashing sounds, they quieted.

"Can I turn back now?" I asked.

"Y-yes," Megumin answered, and I turned back, to see them both sitting with the water up past their shoulders.

I couldn't help but snicker.

"God, you two are so shy. It's hilarious," I told them, Darkness giggling in agreement.

Their faces went red again as they pouted up a storm.

"You guys need to relax. Look, Aqua, turn around and put your arms up on the edge, I'll repay what you did for me the other day," I said, crossing the shallow water to the other side of the pool where the three women sat.

She looked confused, but complied.

I knelt behind her and lifted my hands up onto her shoulders, beginning to massage the soft skin like she had for me.

She gasped at the sudden contact, but relaxed as she realised my intent.

"Y-you don't have to repay me for this!" she gasped, the heated water lapping at her pale skin making my job of making her feel good significantly easier.

"Yeah, but I _want_ to," I said, pushing at a particular knot between her shoulders.

She tried, and failed, to supress a mewl.

She tensed at the noise that escaped, her face blushing to a degree that red was visible on her ears.

I laughed.

"Just _relax_ and _enjoy_. You can trust me Aqua," I told her kindly.

She eventually did as I asked, letting her legs float behind her as I worked on more of her back.

Once I had finished, she sighed deeply, and turned to look at me with bleary eyes.

"You're really good at that, you know?"

I laughed.

Megumin poked at my arm, but looked away once I turned my attention to her.

"M-me to," she said.

I smiled at her, "You want one too?" she nodded, "Then of _course_ my lady!" I exclaimed with mock formality.

She giggled, before turning over and assuming the same position that Aqua had been in.

I massaged her like I did Aqua, locating and relieving knots in the muscle.

There was a distinct difference between Aqua and Megumin's bodies.

To the touch I mean.

Aqua was softer and smoother, but with Megumin I felt as though I was in contact with everything, not just the skin.

Within a few minutes, Megumin's massage was finished, and Darkness had bid us goodnight, choosing to return to our room early.

Now that my position wasn't governed by the massaging, I moved back to the edge of the pool, now closely between Megumin and Aqua.

"Seriously," I said, lifting my arms and laying them flat against the ground behind me, coincidently behind the two women, "You guys really need to relax more. We're only here for a few days, so we've gotta enjoy it while we can," I said, before yawning.

"Man, I could fall asleep in here," I said quietly.

"Yeah," Aqua agreed with a yawn of her own, her back stretching excessively with the large yawn.

She returned to a normal position, and 'subtly' pressed against my side.

Megumin, having seen what Aqua did, mimicked it, but after seeing no negative reaction from myself, also rested her head against my shoulder.

Aqua spotted this however, and was quick to do the same.

Neither were brave enough to put their hands on me unfortunately. It would have been easy to have an 'accidental' touch of something important had they done so, but alas, they were still too shy.

Whatever, this is still going _much_ smoother than I had ever expected.

It was almost _too_ easy.

* * *

**Sorry for another shorter chapter guys, my work hours got upped this week. I have remade my schedule somewhat though, so normal chapters should resume.**

**Anyway, not much else to say this chapter, hope you guys enjoy! Oh, there will be a surprise next week, though, so look forward to that! I'll see you then!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 4,427**

**Story: 82,722**


	15. Chapter 15

"The city's crisis appears to be quite dangerous," Aqua said as we ate breakfast.

The crisis is dangerous?

Yeah? No fucking shit. What're you gonna tell me next, the secrets are hidden? Water is wet, maybe?

"What crisis?" I asked instead.

"The water quality is dropping. Well, more like 'becoming poisonous'," she answered.

"Seriously? That can't be good for the 'City of Water'," I returned, "What kind of poisonous?"

"Strangely, it seems to only be the hot springs, and only some of them. People are coming out feeling sick or with rashes. Some have even fainted," she said.

Just the hot springs?

"Sounds like sabotage to me. I could understand if the same were happening with the drinking water, but it's just the springs? That's incredibly unlikely," I considered.

Aqua nodded her head, "I was thinking something similar,"

"What can we do though? I mean, _you_ could purify it, but if someone is poisoning it intentionally, they'll just do it again once you leave,"

She chuckled guiltily.

"I've actually already tried that. But then the Cultists got mad at me because it became pure water instead of just destroying the poison,"

I snickered.

She pouted.

"It's not _my_ fault!" she claimed, "I turn every water based liquid into pure water just by touching it! Look!"

With that, she leant forward and dipped her left index finger into my coffee, where it immediately changed from the rich brown to completely transparent.

I blinked.

"I _was_ going to drink that,"

"Eh? Er… Sorry Kazuma-san,"

I waved her off, "Don't worry about it. So how pure does it become? Is it like, distilled water?"

"Even purer," she said proudly, "It also become Holy Water, 'cos, y'know, I'm a goddess,"

It was then that the rest of the party, that being Megumin, Darkness, Yunyun, and Wiz, arrived at the dining hall, and we switched to a safer topic.

* * *

With breakfast finished, I decided to do some reading.

While I had familiarised myself with essential information early on, like that of monsters and men, I didn't have as much as I wanted.

So I went to the hotel's library, and took out a history book, where I began searching for information that had intrigued me for some time.

That is, the lowest value coin, at 1 Eris, was made of bronze.

While back on earth, it had a decently high value, being ranked after gold and silver, but nothing more. But in _this _world, it was ordered differently.

Platinum sat at the top, worth 100,000 Eris by itself, followed by gold, worth 10,000. Each coin was worth an order of magnitude lower than the one before it. After gold came silver, then copper, then a dull brass, and finally, bronze, worth only a single Eris.

Long ago the 1 Eris coins were made of a dull and dark iron, unrefined and barely smelted, in an age where the iron could not be forged into the weapons of today.

As such, bronze was the go-to weapon material, and it filled everyone's desires. Eventually, with the growth of the economy, the single Eris coin was phased out, nothing being worth a measly 1 Eris. It was much easier to split a 10 Eris copper coin down the middle than it was to carry five iron coins.

Then the Demon King army appeared.

The bronze weapons adventurers had favoured for centuries suddenly lost their worth as they discovered that they could not be refined and sharpened enough to cut through the thick armour of the Demon King army's monstrous minions.

Society panicked as their weapons suddenly became obsolete, every smith scrambling to find the material that would be the one to finally cut through the monsters' hide, as all the while, the Demon King army pillaged and plundered.

Village and cities alike were razed to the ground, hundreds of millions of Eris being lost with the people who owned them.

The economy was plummeting, and hope was diminishing, but then one blacksmith by the name of Hagane Steel made a discovery.

He had, out of frustration, tossed some old iron coins to his furnace, and with nothing better to do, he began to work them.

The problem with iron had always been its high melting point, making it incredibly hard to work, so it had been ignored for bronze, despite its significant strength.

As the coins heated, still far from melting, in his efforts to increase the coal in his furnace, Hagane tripped, and though no coal landed in the furnace, the interior was coated in the dust.

As he peered within the furnace at the now coal dust-covered coins, you can imagine his surprise when instead of being ruined, the coins began to _melt_.

You see, at around 1200 degrees Celsius, the temperature Hagane had managed to get his coins above, iron begins to absorb carbon, which is what coal is made of. He had made it past this threshold unknowingly, but he was still nearly 400 degrees from the melting point of iron, which is where the carbon absorption comes into play.

When carbon is absorbed into iron, the melting temperature drops significantly, _below_ the absorption temperature, in fact.

Hagane marvelled at the melting iron, despite knowing his furnace wasn't hot enough to melt it, so he tried to recreate it. He gathered as many coins as he could find, a few dozen, and tossed them in.

Once more, he coated the coins in coal dust, and like before, they melted.

With the metal liquefied, Hagane could now work.

He produced a simple dagger, as that was the largest thing he could create with his limited resources.

He then tested it. He sharpened it, struck it, and pit it against a bronze counterpart directly. I resulted with a sharper, stronger and _lighter_ weapon that could beat its bronze counterparts in every front.

He brought his discovery straight to the royal family. He displayed its strength, its workability, the forging process, everything, and in his name, the miracle metal Steel was discovered.

A complete recall was made of every iron coin that could be found, and smiths worldwide were taught how to create steel.

Bronze weapons were discarded in an instant for the stronger, sharper, lighter steel weapons, and humanity finally began to fight back against the Demon King army.

However, it had come too late. Countless lives were lost, and the economy was at the lowest it had been in centuries. The 10 Eris copper coins were of too high a value for small transactions, so the price of food skyrocketed and poverty increased with every village taken by the Demon King army.

The kingdoms realised this quickly, but with all the iron coins having been turned to weapons, they had no 1 Eris coins to redistribute, so instead, they took the discarded tools and smelted them down to make a brand new coin.

As such, the bronze 1 Eris coins was born, the face of Hagane Steel stamped onto each and every one, with Eris's face upon the other.

It served as a reminder, of sorts.

Take heed, enemies of mankind, it said. Man lived with luck on their side, and they would not be so easily defeated.

* * *

I had decided to take a bath in the hot spring before engaging in any of my other tasks.

I approached the mixed bath we had used the night before, but stopped when I heard speaking within.

"That damned cult will finally be destroyed," said a male voice with a vicious tone, "The poisoning of their secret hot spring is complete, and the progress with the more popular ones are proceeding smoothly. Now we just have to wait. It should only take a few decades, nothing too extreme,"

Looks like I found the culprit, and he was some kind of long-living species, as was whoever he was speaking to.

"Hans, would you stop reporting all this to me? You _know_ I'm not involved. I'm only here for the hot springs' healing," replied a feminine voice to the newly named 'Hans'.

"Don't be like that Wolbach," he whined, "This is a great opportunity to destroy the cult, and you _know_ we wouldn't be able to do it head on. I'll meet with you to report periodically, so you just stay in the hotel and enjoy the waters while you can,"

Hmm. Sounds as though they are _both_ generals of the Demon King army. I'd better go in before they discover me loitering here.

And 'Wolbach'. That sounds familiar, but I don't know where from.

I quickly stripped and wrapped a towel around my waist before opening the door to the spring.

It startled both of them, but they did a good job hiding it.

A beautiful woman, Wolbach, sat in the water, little of her naked figure covered with a towel. Short, dark red hair, long pointed ears, glowing golden eyes, and a strange, gem-like protrusion on her forehead only managed to enhance her stunning face, and with a well-proportioned body to boot, she was truly gorgeous.

The man, Hans, stood by the water's edge, towel around his waist like mine was. He was tall, with a well-muscled upper body and chiselled face. Brown, swept-back hair covered the top of his head, while a carefully trimmed beard covered his chin, drawing focus to the startling purple irises embedded in his face.

Interestingly enough, he was also completely dry, obviously not having touched the water.

They made for quite the striking pair, and, if my Detect Danger skill was correct, they were also incredibly powerful.

They, in turn, took in my appearance, eyes being drawn to the numerous, though thin, scars dotting my chest.

While Aqua was a great healer, she wasn't perfect, and not all wounds required her healing, so some marks still remained from my… less than intelligent moments.

I nodded to them, and slipped into the water as Hans knelt down and whispered to Wolbach.

"Did hear what we said?" he asked, though my skill enhanced senses still detected it.

"I… don't think so. He doesn't look suspicious or anything," she returned at equal volume.

"I agree," he continued before standing back up, "Alright," he said at a more normal volume, "I must go now, I have things to attend to,"

She nodded to him and he turned and walked out, still yet to touch the water.

With Hans gone, Wolbach turned to me.

"You… don't seem to be a resident. Are you here for vacation?" she asked.

I laughed, "To some degree. I'm an adventurer by trade, and my party-mates insisted we come here for a break. And I must admit, the springs certainly are good,"

She giggled, "They are. But you seem so young, why do you need to recuperate with the waters?"

I groaned, "A lot of things," I began, "My party always seems to be sucked into trouble," I elaborated, "What about you miss?"

She hummed aloud, "I was fighting my other half, but I couldn't completely snatch my powers back," she began nigh ironically, as though telling a joke, "so now I'm using the hot springs to recuperate," she said with a smile.

"You're quite good with stories, aren't you?" I laughed, not believing it was false for a moment, "I think a mage in my team would believe you, if you told her that," I said with a grin, "so be careful with those tales of yours,"

She grinned back, "Is your party-mate a Crimson Demon clan member, by any chance?" she laughed, before she turned more serious, "I wonder how that Crimson Demon girl is going? It has been so long since I taught her 'Explosion',"

That's dangerous. She's the one who convinced Megumin to use 'Explosion' exclusively then? She is truly powerful. And something else, too.

She sighed, oblivious to my musings, "I wouldn't need these baths if I could find my other half, though it won't be so easy to find her,"

"Maybe, but I'd say the hot springs are a whole lot more enjoyable," I countered.

"True," she admitted, "They almost make living here worthwhile,"

I groaned, "The cultists?" she nodded, "By the gods, they're so annoying," I said, looking back to her.

Oh. Now I remember who you are. Time to have a bit of fun

"I swear, if I found that goddess of theirs, I'd have _words_ for her," I continued.

She giggled, "And how would you spot this goddess?" she returned.

I locked eyes with her, "Oh, I have my ways, _Wolbach_,"

After all, I had experience with goddess's. Recognising the one of Sloth and Violence wasn't a difficult task.

Her eyes widened as her jaw loosed in a perfect display of surprise.

I smirked as I stood and climbed out of the water, "Goodbye my lady, maybe we'll see each other again," I said, giving her a small bow as I left her within the water in a state of shock.

* * *

After I returned, I was immediately recruited into baby-sitting Megumin with Wiz, so she could cast her 'Explosion'.

We were nearing the exit to the city when Wiz stopped suddenly.

"That man looks familiar…" she said.

I followed her line of sight.

It was Hans.

"Don't worry about it," I said rather forcefully, taking her arm and dragging her back onto the path we had been following.

"Huh? But I'm sure I've seen him before," she argued.

"It's Hans," I told her after I leant in close to her ear, so that Megumin wouldn't hear me.

Her eyes widened in realisation, before she swallowed, and nodded to me, now wilfully following.

Megumin, thankfully, thought nothing of the incident. She did, however, have other questions for Wiz.

"Hey Wiz," she began upon exiting the city, "Was there anyone else in the Demon King army who could use 'Explosion'? Maybe a busty red-head woman?" she asked.

Wolbach.

Wiz hummed in thought, before shaking her head, "No, but when I left the main castle, there were only six generals, and now there are eight, so it could be one of those two,"

"I see," she said thoughtfully.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked in return, "Do you have a name maybe?"

"No," she answered, shaking her head, "She never told me her name. I wanted to know because that's the woman who showed me the strength of magic, and set me on the Path of Explosions,"

"Oh, neat," I said simply, before a ping of my 'Detect Enemy' went off.

"Heads up," I warned, "There are lots of enemies around here… but they don't seem to be approaching," I finished with confusion.

"The monsters around Alcanretia are notoriously passive. I heard they tend to shy away from Axis cultists," she explained, "Plus, I _am_ a lich, so they would avoid me instinctively,"

I snorted, "Yeah, just _might _be that,"

She giggled, "Might be,"

Megumin sighed, "Might as well just use it here then. I wanted to use it on a whole heap of monsters and maybe catch up to Kazuma, but if they're all just hiding…"

She lifted her staff in preparation, and after a short incantation-

"'Explosion'!"

-was released.

The blast was smaller than normal, with the surrounding trees left (mostly) still standing.

Megumin began to collapse, but I caught her, my arms going under her armpits. I would have simply carried her on my back, but I had my bow with me, so that would make for uncomfortable travel for both parties.

Instead I transferred some of my mana and life-force over, enough that she could stand by herself.

She let out a breath, turning to face me, "Thanks, Kazuma,"

"No pro-"

'Detect Enemy' screamed at me.

Without hesitation, I pulled the bow from my back, drawing an arrow with it. I had the arrow nocked, and drawn before I had even aimed at the supposed enemy.

Suddenly, there was a roar, and a black panther/sabre-tooth tiger hybrid leapt from the underbrush only metres away.

The rookie-killer then used its face to greet my arrow.

I took a step left as the monster's momentum carried its corpse through the space my body had just occupied.

"Well," I huffed, as though we hadn't all just nearly been slaughtered, "That was something,"

The women looked at me in disbelief.

* * *

We returned to find the streets bustling with activity.

"What's going on?" Megumin asked, "Some kind of special event?"

"It _is_ a tourist city, so maybe," Wiz agreed.

Curious, we wove through the crowd, only to find Aqua at the centre, standing on a small crate, a megaphone in hand, with Darkness and Yunyun at her side, both looking positively mortified.

The fuck is this girl doing now?

The two women with me seemed to have similar thoughts, judging by their expressions.

"Go back to the hotel you two," I said with a sigh, "I'll deal with her,"

They nodded gratefully before disappearing into the crowd.

"My beloved Axis cultists!" Aqua yelled into her megaphone, "Right now, the Demon King army are conducting destructive attacks on this city!"

The women to either side of her lowered their heads, looking as though they wanted nothing more than to disappear that instant.

"They're attempting to poison the city's hot springs! I have already confirmed that many of the hot springs have been hit!" Aqua continued.

"What do you mean?" a civilian challenged, "I used that hot spring right there this morning, and it was fine!"

Aqua nodded in agreement, to the confusion of many, "That is because I have gone through and systematically purified all of the hot springs to destroy any toxins within them!" she exclaimed proudly, "But don't let you're guard down, as they could poison them again! I ask that no-one use the hot springs for the time being until the problem is resolved!" she requested.

"Uh, Miss Priest," an older man began, "This is the _city_ of hot springs. If none use our hot springs, how will we provide for ourselves?" he asked.

"Right!" a younger man agreed, "Why would the Demon King even poison a place like this?" he countered.

"They plan to destroy the economy in an attempt to bring the Axis Cult to its knees!" she declared, "They fear us, so they would use underhanded tactics to destroy us! But we will not bend, we will not bow! The Demon King shall forever fear the strength of the Axis Cult, and he will know we are not so easily tamed!"

I let out a low whistle.

Quite the speech.

"Hey!" screamed a menacing looking man, "You! What did you do to my hot spring?! It's all just warm water now!"

"Yeah! That's her!" yelled another man, "She's been ruining all the hot springs!" he claimed.

"I haven't been ruining them!" she shrieked back, "I was clearing all the springs of poison! I did it to protect the Axis Cult and its customers!"

"Bullshit!" the second man yelled, "There's no way you could have purified all the springs by yourself in such a short time without anyone seeing you! You must have suck in when they were closed!"

Aqua's face flushed a little, "I-I admit I did sneak in, but I did it because if anyone saw my purification, my identity would be exposed!"

Uh-oh. Time for you to stop Aqua.

I immediately began pushing for the front of the crowd.

"Oh?" the first man asked smugly, "And what _is_ your identity?"

I reached the front of the crowd as Aqua began to panic, where I then used my magic to dump litres and litres of water vapour into the air, completely obscuring the crowd's focal point.

The harmless smoke-like substance caused people to panic, each scrambling away from the cloud, giving me enough time to grab Aqua's wrist and began pulling her in the opposite direction.

"Darkness! Yunyun!" I said as loudly as I dared, "Time to go!"

They nodded, relief colouring their features as they followed after me at a run.

"K-Kazuma?! What are you doing here?!" Aqua half-yelled.

"Saving your ass!" I returned, "The hell were you thinking? Were you trying to start a riot?"

"No!" she hurriedly denied, "I just wanted to protect my followers!"

I groaned, "I get _that_, but there are a _lot_ of better ways you could have gone about it!" I countered, "C'mon, we'll meet up with Megumin and Wiz back at the hotel and then figure out what to do next,"

"O-okay!" she huffed, already tiring from the fast pace.

* * *

"We're not going to be dealing with this ourselves," I declared, "We're here on _holiday_, so we'll hand this over to the city guards and Adventurers' Guild to resolve,"

Aqua gritted her teeth, obviously wishing the deal with the threat to her following personally, but nodded regardless, accepting my leadership.

"Okay," she huffed, "Then we just need to figure out who the culprit is, then we can give them the information to get them arrested!"

I shook my head, "I already know who it is,"

Cue noises of surprise from all but Wiz.

"H-how do you know, Kazuma-san?" asked Yunyun timidly.

"I found out by accident. When I went to the hot spring this morning, I found a man boasting to himself," I decided to leave out Wolbach to keep Megumin out of the way, "about how he had poisoned the hot springs, and that 'that damned cult will finally be destroyed,'" I recited, "and with Wiz's help, I confirmed who it was,"

The women looked to me in anticipation.

"The culprit is Hans, general of the Demon King army,"

Yunyun, Darkness, and Megumin gasped, and Aqua sucked in a breath through her teeth, while Wiz nodded solemnly.

"From what I can tell with my skills, he's extremely powerful, much more so than Beldia was, so this is _not_ a fight we should take," I instructed firmly, "Wiz? What else can you tell us about Hans?"

"Not much, unfortunately. He was always very secretive, despite his impressive power, and was very good at infiltration," she explained.

I nodded, picking up where she left off, "He's a tall, buff man. Tanned skin with brown spikey hair and purple eyes. I don't know what he wears though, as I only saw him at the hot spring and only for a second later today. But, for some reason, he never got in the hot spring, and he was completely dry, so maybe he doesn't like water, just like Beldia,"

Aqua's eyes gleamed.

"But as I said; _we_ will not be interfering," Aqua sighed, "What we need now is evidence. We may be accomplished adventurers, but our word is not enough to convict a man. Have you guys got any ideas?"

"I do!" Aqua said, "We can use the plan I had to discover who it was! I was going to submit a survey to the hot spring owners to see which customers visit the most springs,"

I nodded.

"That, along with our warning, should be enough to put up a warrant for his arrest,"

Nods were shared among the five.

"Alright then," I said, drawing their attention back to myself, "Let's get to it,"

* * *

"So, surveys say the most common visitor is a," I paused to stifle my laughter, "girl with blue hair and eyes, wearing a purple hagoromo,"

I turned to Aqua.

"When did you join the Demon King army Aqua?"

She slapped my arm and took the survey from my hands, glaring at me.

"Here. Second most common was a tanned man with brown hair and purple eyes. Just as you suspected Kazuma,"

I nodded, "Let's take this to the guild. This, and my word, should be enough,"

After a short walk, we arrived at the, thankfully close, Adventurers' Guild.

"Hello miss," I said to the receptionist with a kind smile, "Do you have some time?"

She looked up from the papers before her and blinked, before nodding, "Sure. What do you need sir?"

"I'm here to have an arrest warrant issued for a man,"

"Eh? What for?"

I looked around at the partially filled hall before speaking once more, "Could we take this somewhere more private? This is a very dangerous matter,"

She nodded slowly, before opening a gate and beckoning me through it.

I turned to my companions, "Darkness, you're with me. Rest of you, sit tight. This shouldn't take too long,"

Darkness followed me through the gate dutifully.

The Guild employee led us to a small room. It looked somewhat alike to an interrogation room. A metal table, bolted to the floor in the middle, and two chairs on either side of it.

She sat on the other side of the table while Darkness and I took the closer ones.

"This man," I began, handing her a portrait Aqua had drawn of Hans, quite a good one too, "has been poisoning hot springs throughout the city," I paused to let her digest the information, "My priest, the girl with the blue hair, has since visited every hot spring in the city, purifying each of them in order to prevent anyone from being poisoned. We conducted a survey of the hot spring owners to see the most common customers, and as you can see, after my priest, is the man in the portrait,"

I handed her the compiled survey, and she looked it over.

"This… is suspicious. We've had reports of people getting sick after using hot springs, and poisonings would explain it," she began, before looking from the surveys back to me, "but this is not enough evidence to convict this man," she explained.

I nodded, "I had thought so. I _know_ who he is, and his identity is incriminating in its own right,"

"And _who_ is he?" she asked.

"Firstly, I can only give you my word that it is the truth, so I'll have to prove to you that my word is evidence enough. Here,"

I handed across my Adventurers' Card.

"Satou Kazuma-san" she read quietly, glancing up at me to confirm the portrait displayed on it, before her eyes went wide.

"Wait! Satou Kazuma?! You're _the_ Satou Kazuma?!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

I lowered my head, "At your service,"

"You… you, you slew a Demon King general!" she said, barely containing her excitement, "You stopped the Destroyer! You're really _that_ Satou Kazuma?!"

I laughed lightly, "That's me. And it was _two_ of the Demon Kin generals, actually. I slew another just a week ago,"

"A-another one?!" she asked, looking star-struck.

"Aha, yeah. Vanir, the Duke of Hell," I answered, a little surprised by the adoration in her eyes.

"W-wow! You're incredible Satou-sama! And you're all the way up to level thirty-four!"

Oh? I had levelled? I hadn't noticed. Probably from all those Runners.

"I-I just wanted to say," the employee stammered, "it's an honour to meet you, Satou-sama,"

"That's very kind of you, but I'm really nothing special. I just do what I've got to do," I answered with a hint of bashfulness, "But onto business,"

"Eh? R-right!" she stammered, stopping to breathe deeply and collect herself, "So who is he Satou-sama?"

"This is Hans, another general of the Demon King army,"

She gasped, "And he's trying to poison the springs?" she asked.

I nodded in confirmation, "I managed to listen in on him gloating to himself about how he had been poisoning the pools, so my priest went and purified all of them. We couldn't have anyone being hurt,"

She looked at me with a mild blush to her cheeks, before she shook herself out of it and looked at me ruefully.

"I'm sorry Satou-sama, I really am, but your word still isn't enough evidence," she explained with sorrow, "I believe you! I really do! But it just won't hold up in court! The Guild can't be caught taking sides in this kind of altercations,"

I smiled at her, "Don't worry, I've got everything you should need,"

"Y-you do?"

"Darkness? Show her your pendant,"

"Eh? Alright Kazuma," Darkness answered.

She lifted her head to expose a thin chain around her neck, which she grabbed, pulling a pendant out into the light.

"T-the Dustiness Ford seal?!" the Guild woman squealed.

"Yep. That should be good right? A first class adventurer, and a high class noble, both willing to give testaments,"

"Y-yes!" she stammered, "That will be enough! I will go set up and distribute the warrant immediately!"

She stood quickly, and made her way to the exit before I caught her arm.

I looked to her name tag quickly to find her name.

"Miss Sola-" Oh the irony, "_please_ be careful,"

She gulped and flushed again.

"Hans is _incredibly _dangerous. If you don't take the necessary precautions, a lot of people could get hurt," I told her, worry clear in my eyes.

She nodded, shaking now present in her arms, "I u-understand Satou-sama. I will be careful. And, um," she flushed deeply, "I know this isn't exactly appropriate, but could I please have your autograph?" she said, presenting a small notebook and pen.

I snickered, and she looked away, embarrassed.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't-" she stammered.

"It's fine," I insisted, taking the notebook, "I was just surprised. I've never had anyone ask for an autograph before,"

"R-really? B-but you're so famous!" she returned.

"I am?" I asked, legitimately confused, opening the notebook.

"Y-yes! Everyone is always talking about your great endeavours! You're really popular here in Alcanretia," she explained.

Oh my. I hadn't expected my influence to spread so far so quickly. Though I suppose I _had_ defeated a number of global threats.

"I had no idea," I laughed, finishing up with a signature on her notebook, "Well, please keep the fact that I'm here a secret Miss Sola. I'm here on holiday, after all,"

"O-of course, Satou-sama!" she said, taking the notebook back and reading what I had written.

'To Miss Sola,

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up against your enemies.

It takes a great deal more to stand up to your heroes.

Keep fighting the good fight.

\- Satou Kazuma'

She flushed deeply as she read, before stuttering out a thanks and disappearing out the door.

Darkness looked at me, disbelief on her face.

"Well," I said, as though nothing particularly strange had happened, "That was something,"

* * *

We grouped up with the rest of the party.

The Guild told us they would keep us informed as to the progress of the arrest, and so, with our mission complete, we returned to our hotel, and took the day to relax within its walls, chatting, eating, and playing. We enjoyed ourselves until evening.

Then someone began knocking on the door frantically.

"Satou-sama! Satou-sama!" I heard through the door.

I rushed over and pulled it open, revealing an out of breath Sola.

"Satou-sama!" she repeated, "The hot springs! Poisonous water is flowing out of the hot springs all over the city!"

'Too easy'.

Me and my big fucking mouth.

* * *

**Hullo again!**

**This chapter is a bit shorter, but only because it was too perfect of a spot to finish.**

**So, the surprise I talked about last week. I've just published the first chapter of a new story! It's a story I've slowly been working on for the last 5 or 6 weeks, as this story remains as my focus. **

**The story itself is something pretty different. It's a crossover between Titanfall 2 and Halo 4, set in third person, as opposed to the first of this one. There are a few crossovers between Halo and Titanfall already, but none were what I was looking for, so I took to writing it myself.**

**The main characters of Titanfall 2, at the end of the campaign, are thrust into the campaign of Halo 4! I plan to cover the entirety of Halo 4, and probably continue onto Halo 5, and maybe even Infinite (after it comes out lol).**

**I'll explain more about how I wanted to write the story and why in an Authors Note at the beginning of it, so if you'd like, you look at that there, and maybe while you're there, have a read!**

**I'll see how it goes, and if it becomes popular, I'll put up a poll about how I should spend my time between the stories, but don't worry, it won't ever get priority over this one.**

**Back to **_**this**_** story though. I **_**really**_** liked the expansion of lore I did in this chapter. I've had it in my mind to introduce it, but I couldn't find a good point to put it in.**

**And also, Hagane is Japanese for steel, so there's a little Easter egg for ya! And I chose Sola, because, well, Luna. **

**Original, I know. **

**Stop judging me.**

**Oh, and another issue I found was that Fanfiction was including all the spelling edits that GildedTruth was making for me, like, the incorrect **_**and**_** the correct. By the time you're reading this, it **_**should **_**all be fixed.**

**Anyway, see you all net week!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 5,160**

**Story: 87,882**

**P.S. 700 Follows! Woohoo!**


	16. Chapter 16

**WARNING! This chapter contains minor spoilers for the just releasing movie! If you don't want it to be spoiled, you should be able to watch the movie in a few hours from when this is posted. The spoilers are very minor however, and most of it is already covered in the trailers, but still.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

It was the morning after Sola had told us of the contamination.

Aqua had, after learning of the danger, left and purified every hot spring in the city a second time, though now with a much more positive reception from the owners of said springs.

Aqua entered the main room looking exhausted, but determined.

"It must have been a test run," I speculated as we ate a tense breakfast, "All the poisoned water came out at once, before stopping. Hans must have gotten to the main water, and poisoned some as it left,"

"Yeah," Aqua agreed with a yawn.

"The water source should be heavily guarded though, right?" Yunyun asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Wiz confirmed, "I don't know how he managed to infiltrate such a place,"

"Then we should investigate," I proposed, "Word of the Guild should get us in, and as far as I know, we're the strongest group of people in 50 kilometres, so there seems to be no better people to await his next attempt,"

"We're getting involved?" Megumin asked.

I sighed, "It would seem we have to. Hans is both powerful, and smart. Not an easy combination to deal with. We may be the only one who _can _get involved and not lose our lives," I answered.

This Hans guy was pissing me off too. He couldn't just fuck off when he knew he was discovered, nor could he just openly attack and give us lots of cannon fodder while we took him out safely, _no-oo_, the bitch had to be _smart_.

I turned to face the newest member of our party.

"Yunyun, you don't have to come with us. It will be _very_ dangerous if we end up fighting him, and I can't guarantee we'll make it out of it alive. No one will think poorly of you if you decide to sit it out," I told her, confident that she would refuse my offer.

Her eyes widened and she hurried to show her support for us, "No! I… I won't stay behind! I'll fight with everyone so we all come back safe!" she exclaimed with determination.

I smiled at her, "Then we'll all be counting on you Yunyun, but don't forget to count on us too. We're all in this together,"

She clenched his fists and nodded her head firmly.

"Right then all. Let's go do some investigating,"

* * *

Just past the main headquarters of the Axis Cult, the large church I had found Aqua in just a couple days earlier, was the water source.

A large, pristine lake, hidden within the folds of the mountain was located just behind them.

It was a sight to behold.

"Sorry sir, no one may go further than this point," one of the two guards told me.

"Huh? Oh right, sorry, my mistake. Here," I said, handing him the note I had Sola write for me, having forgotten that I needed to give it to them first.

"Ah, Satou-san. My apologise. We were told someone from the Guild was coming. I didn't expect it to be _you_ though. Anyway, go on through, and good luck to you sir," he responded, shortly after reading the letter.

"No problem," I returned, "You were just doing your job. Keep your eyes peeled gentlemen. This man has proven he's elusive when he wants to be,"

"Yes sir, Satou-san!" responded the second guard, "You can count on us,"

I smiled, "Then I'll leave you to your post. Goodbye gentlemen,"

"Goodbye Satou-san," they replied in unison.

"Oh, Satou-san," the first guard began, "I nearly forgot, but the manager is already here to investigate, and said no one else should come in behind him. I'm letting you and your party through because, well, you're _Satou Kazuma_, and you've got confirmation from the guild,"

Hans is quick.

"I see. Thank you for telling me. I'll join up with him immediately and we can begin our efforts together," I responded.

The party was ushered through the gates and we began trekking to the water.

Once out of earshot I turned to my party.

"Hans is already here. He's disguised as a manager or something. Be on your guard everyone," I warned.

Sounds of agreement were made, and weapons prepared, ready for a quick drawing when the time came.

Not long after, the sounds of a scuffle were heard. Dust and dirt being kicked up, growls, and blows were heard, caused by whatever was fighting.

We rushed to the sound, and after breaking through the tree line we discovered only the remnants of the battle.

A Rookie Killer. Or what was once a Rookie Killer. All that remained now was the dark fur skin and large sabre teeth.

"Geez. It looks like it was melted away," Aqua observed.

I had to agree. Patches of missing fur and other corrosive damage fortified her assumption.

"It looks like Hans fights with a powerful acid of some sort. When we engage, _do not_, under _any_ circumstances, let it touch you, or you might end up like that thing," I told my party, waving an arm at the collection of skin.

We continued towards the sources. Even if it wasn't visible, we wouldn't lose our way.

Six pipes diverted the lake's water reserves to different parts of the city. All we had to do to get to the source was follow the pipes.

We finally reached one of the major springs, only to find the water completely black.

Aqua gasped and rushed forward and plunged her hand into the scalding water.

"Ow! Hot! Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot!" she screamed, for some reason not removing her hand.

"Take your hand out you moron!" I said, rushing forward and immediately attempting to cool the water with ice magic.

"No! I need to purify it!"

She is astoundingly stubborn.

The water slowly diluted, returning to its natural clear state, instead of the poisonous black.

With the purification complete, Aqua retracted her hand and cradled it, wary of the burnt skin.

"'Heal'!" she cast upon herself, her hand changing from the ugly pink to a normal pale colour.

"He's already poisoning them. We need to move quickly," I ordered.

"Kazuma! Even though I purified this, I can't get what's already in the tunnels!" Aqua said in a panic.

"We can worry about that when it comes through the other side. The priority is stopping Hans from poisoning any more springs," I returned.

She nodded, and the party took off at a run for the next source.

* * *

We found three more poisoned springs, all of which Aqua purified. On the way to the fifth, I spotted him.

Hans was bent over the spring, though I couldn't see what he was doing, and he was unfortunately still out of bow range.

"He's there!" I warned the party, "Get ready!"

Hans turned his head and spotted us approaching. He immediately stood and began walking towards us with a calm gait.

"What are you doing here?" he called once we were close enough, "This place is off limits to all but the manager, so how'd you all get in?"

I slowed and came to a stop, some 15 metres between him and my party.

"Yunyun!" I ordered.

"'Sabre of Light'!" she cast.

A narrow beam appeared in front of Hans, and bisected him from left shoulder to opposite hip.

His upper body began sliding down the slope of his lower body, before it stopped, and slid back into place, the diagonal cut disappearing as his skin reformed.

"Wha? What's the big idea; attacking on sight?!" he yelled, outraged, waiting for an answer.

"Megumin!" I instead instructed.

"'Detonate'!" she cast, and the small explosion went off right by his bellybutton.

His insides were blown backwards, despite the force only being sufficient to knock a man down.

But they weren't really insides. It was black and gelatinous, looking more like jelly than anything else.

Wiz gasped, "A black poison slime! He must be a black poison slime!"

Fuck.

Essentially immune to physical attacks, incredibly resilient to magical attacks, poisonous and acidic enough to kill a normal man with just a touch, black poison slimes were an absolute _bitch_ to deal with. And this is disregarding their high intelligence and ability to shapeshift.

"Wiz?!" Hans screamed in surprise, "You're _helping_ these adventurers?! You're supposed to stay neutral!"

"On the condition that no civilians get hurt! So what ever happened to the springs' manager?" she asked rhetorically, her face hardening.

He was a slime. If he had gotten close enough to mimic his appearance to get in, he had surely devoured the poor man.

His face paled.

"'Cursed Crystal Prison'!" Wiz chanted, her spell creating a deep purple, translucent framework of a hexagonal prism around Hans left arm.

It froze solid instantaneously, a tendril of ice spearing from it and into the ground, sticking him in place.

He looked down at the frozen limb and scowled.

He lifted up his opposite arm and brought it down onto it, and watched as it shattered.

"Bah! All I need do is poison the last spring and this city will die!"

Hans began running, his arm regrowing from the slime within instantaneously.

"Wiz! Stop him!"

"'Cursed Crystal Prison'!" she cast again, this time at his legs.

They froze entirely, trapping him in place only a few metres from the water's edge.

He gave a bark of laughter, "You think this can stop me?!" he retorted, before he grabbed his left arm with his right, and tore it off, before tossing it to the water.

My arrow was ready, catching it from the air and pushing it beyond the spring.

He turned back with a look of surprise to see me with my bow out.

He scowled again and threw another limb, which I easily pulled from its path with another arrow.

"What is this ungodly accuracy?!" he screamed in frustration.

Hans didn't stop, throwing body parts at the water as fast as he could. Fortunately, 'Snipe' with my luck stat was basically cheating, and not a single arrow missed, and none of his slime made it to the water.

Until I ran out of arrows.

The hand fell through the air and landed in the water, and a dark cloud immediately spread from it.

Aqua gasped and ran for the water, plunging her hand in once more to purify the water, disregarding the near boiling temperatures in order to protect her followers.

Her purifying wasn't fast enough however, and it soon approached the pipe.

"Yunyun! Cut off the pipe!"

"'Sabre of Light'!" she cast once more, before gasping, "I can't! The pipe is too strong!"

Fuck, "Wiz!"

She cast the same spell, but her incredible strength and level allowed the spell to cut through the pipe without difficulty.

Hans saw our efforts and growled.

"You think your cheap tricks are good enough? You think you have power alone to fight me, 'Ice Witch'?! I'll show you what I'm capable of!"

And with his declaration, he dissolved, his physical body being replaced with a black slime that grew and grew, becoming larger than a house.

May Eris save us.

"If only he weren't poisonous!" Darkness said, breathing heavy, "He would make such a perfect pet!"

This girl is fucking mental.

"Wiz! Can you freeze him?!" I yelled quickly.

"No! At this size, there's too much protection to get within!" she responded just as fast.

"So it would work if he were in smaller pieces?"

"Yes! I can do that!"

"Go! We need to get away from him!" I instructed, and everyone turned on their heel and sprinted away, following my lead.

When we were a suitable distance, I turned to the smallest of the group, "You know what to do Megumin!"

"Light in the end of the corners of the world;  
Come together as I call upon the crimson realm;  
My ultimate destruction magic!

'Explosion'!"

Hans erupted in a beautiful wall of fire.

"O gods above, heed my words;  
May crystal and Winter unite in frozen glory;

'Final Freeze'!"

The falling pieces of Hans-debris were caught in Wiz's spell, and froze in the air. The crystalline piece caught the fire of Megumin's explosion, bending and redirecting it, making it appear like a glorious firework.

Wiz collapsed, alongside Megumin, both of their magical reserves having been depleted.

"Thank goodness I had enough mana for that spell," Wiz said with relief.

"And yet it was not enough!"

Hans reappeared, his size having been reduced to a basketball sized, jellyfish shaped slime.

"I'll devour you all, then this entire town!"

Megumin and Wiz were out of action, Aqua was busy with the spring, and Yunyun's attacks were ineffective against the slime.

But I wasn't worried.

I strode towards Hans slowly, reciting the words that appeared within my mind.

"Of time and luck;  
Of eternity and fortune;  
May the gods above guide me;  
By Their strength and my will;  
Ye shall be shown infinite entropy!

'Rend'"

Hans fell apart as the remainder of the slime disintegrated, and he was defeated.

* * *

"Kazuma-san!" Yunyun addressed.

We were back in our mansion in Axel, after having spent another day and a half traveling.

The people of Alcanretia bid us farewell once Aqua purified all the water that had left the pipes, though still managed to complain about it no longer being the mineral infused water they had used for their hot springs.

They changed their tune rather quickly when I explained that it was pure holy water that could heal wounds and repel undead.

I still find it rather ironic that our 'holiday' consisted of fighting our most powerful enemy yet.

"Yeah?" I finally responded.

With a red face, she answered, "I… I want to have your child!"

Oh.

I looked at her and blinked.

"Why?"

This was very different from anything I'd ever seen from Yunyun in the past, that's for sure. It was _much_ too forward, so something was wrong.

"_What?!_" screamed Megumin, her face going red with embarrassment and outrage as she sprang to her feet, "You _can't!_"

"I-I _need_ to!" Yunyun responded, forcing out the words.

"What reason would you _need_ to bear Kazuma's ch-ch-children?" Aqua stuttered, her face also burning.

"Yeah. You're never this forward Yunyun," I observed calmly, "What's wrong?"

She stopped and took a deep breath.

"The Crimson Demon clan is going to die,"

* * *

"We're going to die?" Megumin asked seriously.

"Er, no, sorry. I worded that badly. The Demon King army plans to invade the clan village," Yunyun explained.

Megumin sucked in a shuddering breath.

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"I just got this letter," she began, handing it to me, "It's from my father, the village chief,"

'Yunyun' it read.

'By the time this letter reaches you, I will have most likely passed from this world. The Demon King army feared our strength, so they have planned a major offense to wipe us out. They have already set up a large military base, one we cannot destroy, not far from the village.

If only that were the worst of it. One of the Demon King's general is coming, one with an incredibly high magical resistance and further reinforcements.

Their military force is too powerful for us to destroy, but I'll be _damned_ if I let them take us without a fight.

I am the chief of the Crimson Demon clan, and I will drag that general down with me to the grave.

My beloved daughter, as long as you live, the Crimson Demons will live on through you. I entrust the position of chief to you. As the last of our kind, do not let our bloodline die out,'

Well that sucks.

"What?" Megumin exclaimed as I read it aloud, "I'm still alive! What's all this 'last of our kind' stuff?!"

"There's another page, Kazuma-san," Yunyun told me, "Please continue,"

So there was, though the handwriting was significantly different.

'The village scryer foresaw the attack of the Demon King army and visage of despair for the village of the Crimson Demons.

However, she also saw a glimmer of hope.

The lone survivor, Yunyun,'

"Again with the 'only survivor'!"

"Shut-up Megumin!"

'became focused upon defeating the Demon King who had taken the lives of her clansmen.

Later, within the town of beginnings, she found a strange man. A man of many hidden strengths who fought with his luck and his wit. A man who would become her husband.

Yunyun stayed beside him, fought beside him, and lost beside him. T'was a difficult life, but Yunyun found happiness.

After what felt to be no time at all, the son of the Crimson Demon and her husband began to follow in the footsteps of his father.

He became an adventurer. Unbeknownst to him and his parents, he would go on a mighty journey, face many challenges, and eventually, he would be the one to slay the Demon King.'

Megumin, Aqua, and Darkness looked on in shocked silence.

In their silence, Yunyun spoke up, "That is why I nee-"

"Uh, actually," I began, cutting her off, "It says here 'The Legend of the Crimson Demon Hero – Chapter 1, by Arue',"

Yunyun's face one more became enflamed as she snatched the second page from my hand and crumpled it up.

"Arue you idiot!" she wailed.

"So…" I began, "It's fiction?"

"Yeah," Megumin answered, "Arue is a friend of ours who wanted to become an author,"

"Just a story?" Aqua asked, "Wait, what about the first letter, from Yunyun's dad?"

"That's… probably true," Megumin answered hesitantly, "The Crimson Demons have been a thorn in the Demon King's side for a very long time. It was always going to happen eventually,"

"So much for a break," I muttered, "C'mon everyone, pack what you need! We leave for the Crimson Demon village as soon as possible!"

Darkness, Aqua, and Megumin went off and began packing what they would need.

"Wha-? Kazuma-san? Y-you don't have to do that!" Yunyun tried to argue.

"Yunyun, stop. Accept the help, 'cos you're getting it no matter what, okay? We protect our party, and everything they love," I told her with determination.

Yunyun flushed a little once more, "Th-thank you Kazuma-san!"

"Just Kazuma is fine," I told her, "Now get packing,"

"Uh, actually," Aqua began, as she stepped back into the main room with Darkness and Megumin in tow, "we never had time to _un_pack,"

That makes things quicker.

* * *

Wiz, who had been to the Crimson Demon village before, was able to send us there via her 'Teleport' spell, making the journey a whole lot faster.

A flash of light later, and we were on a road surrounded by thick forest.

"Where did that dumb lich send us?" Aqua asked, "This doesn't exactly look like a village,"

"We're very close!" Yunyun answered, "Only an hour's walk at most! Wiz-san is very impressive!"

"Then let's get going. Which way?" I asked.

Megumin and Yunyun pointed in the way we were facing, and we began our trek, though it wasn't long before the two Crimson Demon girls began bickering.

"What's the use of 'Explosion'?!" Yunyun asked, "It's too powerful for dungeons and you might hurt your allies even when outside! Even the best of mages can't use it twice in a row!"

Megumin gasped "How dare you! You said something even worse than making fun of my name! I challenge you to a duel!"

"Please don't"

"I accept!" Yunyun declared readily, "I will not lose to Megumin anymore!"

Megumin turned to me, "Kazuma, let me tell you Yunyun's secret. Every Crimson Demon is born with a tattoo-like birthmark. The placement is different for everyone, but Yunyun's one is-"

"Stop stop stop!" Yunyun cried, "Don't tell him! How do you even know where it is?!"

"Quiet," I ordered, and they immediately silenced.

"-way! I hear human voices over there!" came a loud and shrill voice.

I turned to my party, "Hide!" I instructed in a whisper, "Into the trees!"

They scrambled off the path to hide behind the thick trees on either side of the road.

An armoured monster walked along the road, scanning thoroughly to either side. It had sharp ears, a singular horn on its head, and near black skin, with a thickly muscled torso.

Three other monsters, with very similar followed behind him.

The one at the front stopped and turned back to the group, "They were here recently," he declared, "I can still smell them,"

I activated all my 'Incognito' skills and left the cover of the trees, slowly making my way behind them.

I took a breath and prepared myself, then I struck.

My large katana carved straight through the first monster, neatly bisecting it.

"Yunyun! Megumin!"

My pulled back on my sword, bringing it down into another deadly arc into the head of the left-most monster, killing it instantly.

"'Sabre of Light'!"

"'Detonate'!"

The right-most monster was spilt down the middle by a wave of light, while the centre one was pushed forward by a small blast. I took advantage of its surprise, and swiftly decapitated it.

With the threat (rapidly) dealt with, the women stepped out from the tree cover.

I flicked my sword to the right sharply, the dark blood flinging off the blade smoothly, before I then returned the weapon to its sheath.

"Bravo!" declared a male voice, "Excellent work!"

Four young men, older than I, dressed in black garbs, appeared from thin air.

Some wore robes, others jackets. One wore gloves, and two held wands. They varied in appearance greatly, despite it all being black.

Another universal feature though, was their scarlet eyes.

Crimson Demons.

I let go of my sword's grip, now at ease.

"Is that Buzucoily?" Megumin asked, "Son of the shoe maker? Long time, no see!"

Gods, the names are just getting weirder.

"Megumin?" the addressed man returned, "and Yunyun? What are you two doing back?"

"We heard of the Demon King army's plans to attack, so we came back to help!" Yunyun answered.

"I see!" he responded cheerily, "That's what we've been doing! We are an Anti-Demon King army guerrilla unit! Now who are these people? Your adventuring comrades?"

Megumin nodded.

He turned to us, "I am Buzucoily! Son of the number one shoe shop owner of the Crimson Demons. I'm an Archwizard that wields advanced magics!"

"Well met Buzucoily," I returned, "I'm Satou Kazuma, a 'Ranger' class adventurer, slayer of… well, a lot, actually," I finished with a small bow.

"Ohoh!" he and his allies said.

"Awesome!" Buzucoily continued, "Most people have weird reactions when we introduce ourselves! I never thought I'd see an outsider respond in kind! And who are you two?" he asked, waving to Aqua and Darkness.

Aqua stepped forward gleefully.

"I am Aqua! A divine worshipped by the masses! I shall be the one to defeat the Demon King himself!"

"Amazing," the four men responded, completely disbelievingly.

"Wait, hey! Why doesn't anyone believe me?!"

The eyes of the guerrilla unit shifted to Darkness.

"I…" she began bashfully, "I am Dustiness Ford Lala…ti…na, for the town of Axel," she finished, trailing off.

"She normally goes by Darkness," I explained, "Her family is very powerful, so she uses a moniker so that she may make a legacy for herself,"

Darkness glared at me with a red face as the Crimson Demons praised her for her bravery and independence.

It was great fun watching her panic, trying to respond.

"Megumin and Yunyun," Buzucoily began, "I am glad you have found such wonderous comrades, Come! We are still some ways from the village, so we shall send you there with 'Teleport'!"

A short chant, and a bright flash later, and we arrived in the Crimson Demon village.

* * *

"Welcome to the Crimson Demon village, outsiders! Megumin and Yunyun, it is good to see you back home," Buzucoily finished kindly.

He and his allies took a step away.

"Goodbye then!" he said, and after a short chant, they vanished from sight.

"Those guys were cool," I said, "Though they need to improve their invisibility,"

I heard a gasp from where they stood, cloaked by their magic.

Aqua glared in the direction of here they had stood.

"They have turned invisible using light refraction. It will turn everything within a couple of metres invisible, but if you get close enough, you'll be able to see them again.

Suddenly, Aqua charged them, cackling madly as they dashed away.

After a couple minutes, Aqua returned, huffing, "Even with my high stats, I couldn't catch them. Those guys are something,"

I snickered.

"They must have used body strengthening magic. I don't think a bunch of NEETs have that kind of stamina normally," Yunyun stated.

"NEETs? They seemed pretty active to me, especially as part of the Anti-Demon army guerrilla unit," Darkness countered.

"They refuse to leave their parents or find a job," Megumin explained, "If they became adventurers. They would be in very high demand, but they just do nothing all day, every day. They claim to be the guerrilla unit so that people don't think they're NEETs, but they are,"

"All members of the Crimson Demons can learn advanced magic," Yunyun continued, "In fact, everyone but the children in the village are Archwizards. We master all kinds of spells with the skill points we earn. This is common sense here…" she trailed off, looking at Megumin.

Residents of the village walked around casually, uncaringly. Maybe the threat of the Demon King was a fictional one.

"Eh? This griffon statue looks so realistic," Aqua praised, looking to the life-sized figure displayed on a pedestal, "Is it the work of a famous sculptor?" she asked.

Megumin shook her head, "A griffon wandered into town one day and got petrified with magic. It looks cool, so it was kept as an attraction. Now it's kinda just a meeting place,"

Aqua stepped forward and lay a hand on the stone monster.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Curing abnormal statuses," she answered, "I've never seen a live griffon before,"

"No!" shouted my party.

* * *

Within the small mansion (small when compared to our own, at least) in the centre of town, we met with the Village Chief **(they don't actually give him a name ¯\\_(****ツ****)_/¯ )**, Yunyun's father.

He laughed bashfully, "That was just a letter to tell my daughter how I was doing," he explained, "Though I admit, I got a little carried away,"

I stared at him, deadpan.

"'By the time this letter reaches you,'" I recited, "'I will have most likely passed from this world,'"

"That's the standard greeting among the Crimson Demons," he explained.

These fucking people.

"Didn't you learn that in school?" he asked Yunyun, "Ah, right. You and Megumin graduated early, so you probably weren't taught that,"

"And the part about the base you couldn't destroy?" Darkness asked.

"Ah, that? Those Demon King army guys built a very extravagant base. We can't decide on whether we should destroy it, or keep it as an attraction," he answered.

I hate these people. Why can't anyone on this planet be _normal?_

"What about the Army general, then?" Aqua asked.

"Oh yes. As I said in the letter, they have high magical resistance. In fact, they should be here soon. Wanna come watch?" he asked.

I can't tell if he's just insane, or incredibly powerful.

Both? Yeah, probably both.

"Demon King army alert!" came a broadcast, accompanied by tolling bells, "Everyone free, please gather at the Griffon Statue. They number near a thousand!"

"A thousand?!" Darkness exclaimed in shock, while everyone else remained stoic.

"Well," I began, "Can we deal with them quickly?" I asked, "I want to look around more,"

* * *

Sure enough, they had exactly a thousand troops. Two columns and five rows of 10x10 squares of troops.

"Hey Chief," I began, "Wanna see what the top spell can do?"

Megumin's eyes lit up, "I can use it?!"

The Chief eyed her in confusion, "I suppose, though they are still out of range," he offered.

"Go ahead then," I told Megumin with a grin.

She strode to the front of the lines confidently and lifted her staff.

"Crimson-black blaze, king of myriad worlds;  
though I promulgate the laws of nature;  
I am the alias of destruction incarnate;  
in accordance with the principles of all creation;  
Let the hammer of eternity descend unto me!

'Explosion'!"

The epitome of magic erupted from the centre of their ranks.

I let out a low whistle as I observed the damage, before catching her as she began to fall.

"I'd say you got… three… three hundred fifty? Nice explosion Megumin,"

"Nice explosion," she returned, exhausted.

I shifted her onto my back, and carried her back towards the slack jawed clansmen.

"Well?" I questioned them, "Have at them!"

They cheered, and moments later a large assortment of powerful spells flew towards the surviving enemies.

The fifty clansmen who had come for the battle decimated the remaining enemy forces within minutes, and they were forced to retreat.

* * *

It was just our original party that remained as we approached Megumin's old home.

Yunyun had run off to find and punish their friend Arue.

It was a small wooden cottage. It looked more run down than the other nearby buildings, but looked as though it had undergone recent repairs.

I knocked on the door, Megumin still resting on my back.

After a moment, the door opened gently, swinging open silently to reveal a young girl who looked very similar to Megumin, and perhaps identical to her younger self.

"Oh, Megumin's little sister?" Darkness asked rhetorically, "So cute!" she said with a smile.

"She's like a mini-Megumin!" Aqua squealed, "Hey mini-Megumin, want some sweets?" she asked, drawing some candies out from… somewhere.

"Komekko," Megumin greeted, "I'm home. Have you been a good girl?"

Her eyes widened as she looked up at Megumin, who was peaking over my shoulder.

"Ma! Pa! Onee-chan brought a boy home!"

I could feel Megumin's face heating up as I snickered.

* * *

"Now watch closely," Aqua instructed Megumin's younger sister, Komekko, and Darkness beside her, "This cup I put down will move around all by itself,"

True to her word, the metal cup slid across the table in lazy circles, despite her hands being under the table.

"Amazing! Amazing!" Komekko declared, "How'd you do that?! Miss blue hair, how did you do that?!" she asked, comically surprised.

"It's a magnet!" Darkness declared, nearly as excited as the five year old, "It must be! You're moving a magnet under the table, aren't you, Aqua?"

Despite her confident answer, she didn't check, and as such, didn't see Aqua's hands resting on her knees, rather than under the table.

Water magic, probably.

A throat cleared by me, drawing my attention back to Megumin's parents.

Her father, Hyoizaburo, looked at me sternly. He was a mid-thirties with black hair, the universal red eyes, wearing something akin to a pilot cap.

Her mother, Yuiyui, was a beautiful woman a similar age to her husband, though perhaps a little younger. She sat calmly, with a kind smile upon a young face.

"Thank you for taking care of our daughter," Hyoizaburo said with gratitude.

I hummed in thought, "I don't know. I think it's more of _her_ taking care of _us_," I responded with a grin.

Hyoizaburo shared my grin while Yuiyui giggled.

"Our daughter has troubled you so much," Yuiyui began, "Truly Kazuma-san, thank you so very much. She has told us so much about you in her letters,"

"It's not _all_ bad, is it?" I laughed.

"No, no," she assured, "Megumin has had nothing but praise for you,"

I doubt Megumin would be happy about us discussing these things, fortunately, she had dropped into her be as soon as she got to it, and had been sleeping since then.

Hyoizaburo sighed, "Which is why I must ask: What is your relationship with our daughter?"

I widened my eyes and glanced at the still playing Aqua and co before looking back.

I looked down, sighed, took a deep breath, and began "I… I care for her a lot. She's _really_ important to me," I admitted.

They looked pleased, if unsurprised.

"I uh… I know she feels the same way too," I continued, "but we aren't together,"

Hyoizaburo snorted, "Not _yet_," he muttered.

"Well why not?" Yuiyui asked, "If you know she cares for you, why haven't you confessed?"

"I want her to confess to me," I told them, "Not because of, like, my ego, or arrogance, or anything," I hurriedly explained upon seeing Hyoizaburo's angering face, before taking another breath, "I think it's important. I've never really had a problem expressing my feelings, or in confidence, or anything like that. Megumin's different though. She's incredibly brave, but I've seen her have trouble with confidence. I thought that if she confessed to me, and I immediately accepted, it'd really help her,"

I looked them in the eyes.

"That's what I really want. I want to help her. I want to make her happy," I told them firmly.

I cleared my throat and lifted some mana to my skin to simulate a blush as I looked away.

"Don't tell her I said that,"

They looked to each other and grinned ear to ear.

"And um, please don't try to push her. I want it to be entirely her choice to do it, not someone else's,"

"I understand Kazuma-san," Yuiyui answered before she leant forward and clasped one of my hands in hers, "And though she may take a while, welcome to the family Kazuma-san,"

I let out breathy laugh and rubbed at my eyes with my other hand while sniffling.

I took some more deep breaths before I smiled to her and Hyoizaburo.

"Thank you. Thank you so much,"

Hyoizaburo stepped across and clapped a hand down onto my shoulder.

"Welcome to the family," he echoed.

I smiled and nodded.

"Oh," I exclaimed, "I nearly forgot. I have a gift for you," I said as I stood.

"A gift?" he asked.

"You didn't have to do that Kazuma-san" his wife continued.

"I _wanted_ to though," I countered, grabbing the bags of expensive foods I had gotten, "Here,"

Yuiyui gasped as she looked within, "This will make an excellent dinner! Thank you, Kazuma-san,"

"Food?!" Komekko exclaimed as she rushed to the room we were in, "You brought food, Onii-san?!"

Yuiyui giggled as Komekko plunged her hands into a bag and grabbed two small buns.

"I'll make us all some tea," Yuiyui said as she stood and moved to the kitchen.

Komekko stuffed one of the buns into her mouth, looking at me intently. She swallowed her current mouthful, before offering the other bun to me.

"For you," she said shyly, "It tastes good,"

"Thank you," I said as I took the bun graciously, and rubbed her hair softly smiling all the while. Then I removed my hand from her and tore off about a third of the bun, and handed it back to her.

"Here," I told her, "I think you're hungrier than I am, aren't you?" I asked with a grin.

She smiled brightly as she took it, "Thanks Onii-chan!" She said before stuffing what was left into her mouth.

I laughed as she hummed in delight and ran back to Darkness and Aqua, biting into my own piece a little more carefully.

"By the way," Yuiyui began as she returned with tea for myself, her husband, and herself on a small platter, "I hope this isn't too rude, but I heard you ended up with a huge debt. Did you manage to pay that off?"

"Debt?" I asked, confused, "Oh, you mean from the governor? Yeah I sorted that out a while ago. I _could_ have paid it off, but as I'm sure Megumin explained in her letters, I didn't want to,"

"A governor?" Yuiyui asked.

"No, Megumin never explained what the cause of the debt was," Hyoizaburo said, "What happened? Why didn't you want to pay it?"

"Ah, it's a long story. How's about I tell it over dinner instead?" I offered.

"That sounds great," Yuiyui agreed,

"I know this sounds harsh," Hyoizaburo began, "But what's to stop you from getting into debt again? Will you be able to provide for our daughter?" he asked.

I laughed, "I doubt that'll _ever_ be a problem. I could retire now and live a life of luxury with my party _and_ your family, no problem,"

"Truly?" Hyoizaburo asked.

"How… How much do you have, Kazuma-san?" his wife asked uncertainly.

I hummed in thought, "I think… Around two billion Eris?"

Their jaws dropped delightfully.

"Two…"

"Billion?!" they screamed together.

I couldn't contain my laughter.

* * *

**So we're done with anime stuff, and into movie territory!**

**I enjoyed this chapter. It had all the good stuff. Combat, new skills, cool (if I do say so myself) chants for said spells, fluffy stuff, new characters; all that good shit!**

**I had a lot of fun writing this, because now **_**I'm**_** in unfamiliar territory. I don't plan what I write ahead by any significant amount, and I haven't read very much further than what you've read. But I think it suits what I'm doing well. I feel that it helps me get more realistic reactions from the situations he's put into.**

**And the story also just became the **_**third **_**most popular Konosuba fic on Fanfiction, and it's absolutely insane. Thank you to everyone who's stopped by. Read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, whatever. Thank you.**

**I'll see you again next week! Thanks for reading!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic.**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,094**

**Story: 93,936**


	17. Chapter 17

"So it all started when the Destroyer was spotted," I began, taking a sip of wine, "The town went into a panic pretty quickly,"

"I can imagine," Yuiyui commented.

"Right? So this gigantic death machine was headed straight for the town. Too big to block, too fast to climb, and shielded against magic. The Adventurers' Guild had no idea what to do, and started taking suggestions from the adventurers. Every plan, unfortunately, had already been tried, or obviously wouldn't work. But _I _had an idea," I said, looking around to the enraptured audience.

"Y'see, I've got something of an informant within the Demon King army, that'll be important later, and they said Aqua here," I continued pointing at Aqua, "Was powerful enough to break a magical barrier sustained by three of the Demon King's generals. And if she's powerful enough to do _that_, breaking the Destroyer's barrier should be no problem,"

Yuiyui and Hyoizaburo nodded, following my recount easily.

"Once the barrier was down, we could hit it with powerful spells to stop it, and your daughter, as we'll as another veteran adventurer had access to 'Explosion'. It all went off without a hitch. Shield came down, and the 'Explosion's took its legs off, but then it blared out a warning. Because it couldn't move, it would overheat and explode. I lead a team of adventurers aboard it, and managed to find the core; a coronate gem,"

Yuiyui gasped, understanding the power contained within the small stones.

"We didn't have any way to get rid of it, except one. The vet adventurer could use 'Teleport', but she could only send it away randomly with the mana she had left. Turns out, the stone landed in the mansion of one Alexei Alderp, a governor in the Capital. Fortunately, no one was hurt, as he had sent his staff away for the day, and he was safely within his basement,"

Hyoizaburo furrowed his eyebrows at the suspicious behaviour, but stayed silent.

"But Alderp decided he didn't like me, despite it being due to random chance, and used his power to have me arrested for treason,"

"Treason?!" the couple exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yeah. I was about to get out of it, when I accidentally revealed my informant in the Demon King army, and they used that as an excuse to take me to court. I won the court case pretty thoroughly, but then Aqua detected some Demonic magic, and suddenly the judge decided that the best option would be to follow Alderp's instructions and give me the death penalty,"

Yuiyui gasped in shock, while Hyoizaburo shook in anger.

"Fortunately, Darkness is part of a noble family, and was able to convince the judge to postpone the ruling. That's where the debt came in. As I had been pardoned for the time being, I'd have to pay for the repairs to his mansion, some billion Eris. I _could_ have covered it reasonably quickly, but I wasn't exactly interested in giving the bastard any of my money,"

Hyoizaburo nodded firmly, seemingly in agreement with my decision.

"Later on, I helped Darkness' father keep the honour of his name intact, and in return he would give me a cash gift. I won't say how I did that, 'cos that would just degrade his name, especially considering he ended up paying for Alderp's mansion in full. It was later that we ran into Vanir, a Duke of Hell and one of the Demon King's generals. We eventually managed to defeat him, and I was excused of my 'crime', and was rewarded with one and a half billion Eris for defeating Vanir and the Destroyer,"

"Wow," commented Yuiyui.

"Quite the tale," Hyoizaburo agreed.

I laughed, "Yeah. We end up in a lot of weird situations,"

Yuiyui smiled. "Would you like to stay the night, Kazuma-san? You've come all this way, and we'd be happy to have you all stay,"

"It might be a little cramped," Hyoizaburo continued, "but you can stay here as much as you want. I know adventurers often have difficulty finding housing,"

"Yeah. We were really lucky to get our hands on our mansion,"

"M-mansion?!"

I laughed, "That's another story. This one started when we found the real estate agent in the magic shop,"

* * *

"Alright Kazuma-san," Yuiyui began, after deciding that I would be sleeping with Megumin in her room, "Hyoizaburo, Komekko and I are all deep sleepers, so we won't wake up even if it gets a little loud," she hinted as she pushed me towards Megumin's room.

"I already said I wouldn't be initiating anything, remember?" I replied in exasperation.

"I know, I know," she returned, "If anything _does_ happen, make sure you take responsibility!" she said as I was pushed through the doorframe.

She closed the door behind me, but not without the parting remark of "Enjoy yourselves!"

"'Lock'!" I heard from the other side of the wooden door as the doorknob clicked.

She was really pulling all the stops, huh?

It was a small room. Rather plain too. Though I suppose it meant there was nothing to distract from the visual delight that was a soundly sleeping Megumin.

She lay beneath a single pink blanket, her limbs splayed in all directions, wearing simple sleeping clothes. Her beautiful face was only enhanced by the natural, relaxed, and innocent expression worn only when asleep. Pale and smooth skin caught the moonlight from the window, giving her a near ethereal glow, while in contrast, her midnight hair fanned behind her across her pillow.

In a word, she was gorgeous.

She was… Wow. Just wow. It was so different to the incredible beauty of nudity, but perhaps more impactful, despite its simple and innocent nature.

There was no other bedding, meaning I'd have to share the rather small bed with Megumin. Which meant I had to move her.

I first removed my excess clothing. I didn't have my sleeping clothes, unfortunately, and oversight on my part, though I hadn't expected Yuiyui to lock me in here.

Boots, socks, and cloak came off, along with belt and sheath, leaving me in just pants and shirt.

I lifted the blanket off her and out of the way, before carefully sliding a hand under her shoulders, and the other beneath her thighs.

She stirred, but didn't wake as I began moving her away from the edge and towards the wall.

I began getting in beside her, wincing as my grip slipped and I fell the last few centimetres, shaking the bed lightly.

Megumin opened her eyes slowly, glancing at me blearily, "Kazuma?" she mumbled, her exhaustion still evident.

I smiled at her in the darkness, getting into bed proper, "It's okay. Go back to sleep," I told her as I dragged the blanket back over us.

She groaned lightly and shuffled, gripping my shirt in her hands as she pulled herself closer, until she was pressed against my side, laying her head down on my shoulder, my arm having gone behind her to stabilise myself when I had grabbed the blanket.

She reached her right arm across my torso subconsciously, and I responded in kind, curling my arm behind her back and resting my hand on her slender waist.

She sighed, hugging me tightly as she fell back into slumber.

I sighed as I got comfortable.

The warmth of another while you slept was a comfort one should not underestimate. I followed Megumin's example, and fell into dreamless sleep.

* * *

I woke at sunrise. A habit I wasn't sure I was happy about having picked up.

Despite waking, I was content to wait. It was warm, and I had a beautiful girl in my arms. What reason was there to change that?

Megumin woke a little later, maybe half an hour from when I woke.

She yawned adorably before pulling the arm she had around me back to rub at her eyes, then returned it.

She looked around blearily in the early morning light, before letting out a strangled gasp as she figured out her position. Her hands gripped into fists as she began panicking, her breathing turning short and sharp.

I groaned lightly, pretending to still be asleep, and pulled her closer.

She let out a startled, but quiet 'eep' as she was forced into closer proximity, before she hesitantly lowered her burning face back onto my shoulder, her rapid heartbeat noticeable from her proximity.

I let Megumin enjoy the position before I started to get bored of just laying.

I yawned, and 'woke', carefully extracting my arm from beneath her head. I removed the arm across my torso, and stroked Megumin's hair, who was now poorly pretending to still be asleep.

I dressed quietly, Megumin watching closely, though I didn't let her know that I was aware.

I stopped at the door. It was still locked, obviously, so I'd have to get creative.

I _could_ get out the window, but not quietly enough that Megumin could reasonably remain 'asleep'. Instead, I opted to use 'Transform' to shirt the lock.

The door now unlocked, I opened it quietly and stepped out into the hall. I closed the door behind me, and left the house to look for some food.

I found a food stall, and ordered a kebab, before finding a place to sit and eat.

There weren't many people awake yet, so I simply observed the shops and buildings around me while I ate.

Fuck me this was a good kebab.

I finished, and bought three more, before heading back to Megumin's house.

I entered the building quietly, happy to get out of the early morning cold, and walked back to the living room.

Aqua had woken, it seemed, and she sat at the dining table, doodling on a sheet of paper.

"Morning," I greeted, "Kebab?"

She blinked at me, "Good morning Kazuma," she yawned, accepting the kebab hungrily. "Thank you for the food!"

I looked at her drawing. It was a beautiful floral pattern, sketched roughly, but precisely.

"You're really good at that, you know," I told her.

"This?" she returned gesturing at the page with full hands, "It's nothing. Just time wasting, is all,"

She was a strange girl, that's for certain.

We spent the next while playing simple games on the back of the paper while we waited for everyone else to wake.

"Morning Megumin," I greeted as she entered.

"G-good morning, K-Kazuma," she stammered back, her face already red.

"Hungry?" I asked, offering her the last kebab. Darkness was already enjoying hers.

She stood stiff, then swallowed and accepted it, sitting in another chair opposite me. She began eating quietly, stealing glances at me every few seconds, her cheeks never losing their red tinge.

Waking up beside me must have had a greater impact on her than I first thought.

"So," I began, "What are we gonna do today? Sightseeing?" I asked.

Megumin swallowed her mouthful and glanced at me, before looking away in embarrassment.

"Y-yes," she stammered, "That's what I w-was thinking,"

"Not me," Darkness injected, "I heard there are some excellent blacksmiths here, so I'm going to go visit them,"

I nodded, "Just Megumin, Aqua, and I then, unless Yunyun wants to join,"

"Great!" Aqua cheered, "I've heard that the Crimson Demons have lots of sightseeing attractions!"

"Then we'll get going as soon as you're finished, Megumin," I said.

"Y-yes," she stammered, going back to her kebab.

* * *

"What is this?" I asked, biting back my laughter.

"This is the Holy Relic of the city," Megumin said seriously.

"It's a cat-girl wearing a fucking school swimsuit," I managed, barking a laugh.

The 'Relic' sat within a shrine-like building, sitting in the centre as though in deep reverence.

"Long ago, our ancestors saved a traveller from monsters," Megumin explained, "In return, we were gifted this holy relic. It was of more importance to the traveller than his own life," she continued, "We don't recognise the goddess, but great things may come should we pray to her. I hear the shrine was built to the traveller's description, too,"

I couldn't breathe. I was trying so hard to keep my laughter silent, that my lungs were empty. Any breath that I managed came out less than a second later as I struggled to remain standing.

Oh my fucking _god_. This is some of the stupidest shit I've ever seen.

"Kazuma, Kazuma,"

"Yes, I'm Kazuma,"

"It bothers me that this… _Statue_, is being treated better than I am," Aqua said flatly.

"You realise that you sent that traveller, right? You should probably apologise to the village chief for it," I countered.

Aqua glared at me lightly, while Megumin looked on in confusion, but then dragged us along to the next attraction.

"This is the Holy Sword. It is said to grant immense power to whoever pulls it from the stone," Megumin explained.

It was some King Arthur shit.

"Can we have a go then?" I asked.

"Sure," Megumin answered, "You'll need to pay the old blacksmith the challenge fee first, then you can try, but you only get one go,"

I raised an eyebrow, "I have to pay a fee?"

"The old blacksmith made the sword to attract tourists, then put a spell on it so that it would only come free with the ten thousandth pull. There have only been a hundred or so, so far, so it's not worth it," she explained.

"I can probably break the seal with my magic," Aqua mused, "Can I take the sword with me?"

"Please don't!"

* * *

"This is the Wishing Well," Megumin said, having successfully managed to prevent Aqua from stealing a major tourist attraction, "The legend of this well says that should throw offerings into the water, such as axes or coins, you can summon the goddess of wealth to help you in your time of need. To this day, people still toss things into the water,"

"It's a scam, isn't it?"

"No! If it weren't for the kind who clears the waters periodically, it would be more steel than water,"

"And what does he do with the stuff he clears out?"

"He recycles them into new weapons and armour, of course,"

It's a scam.

I sighed, "Whatever. Off to the next place? Wait, where's Aqua?"

A ripple came from the water, and Aqua's head emerged, remarkably, still dry.

"What are you doing in the pond?!" I exclaimed.

"People throw their coins in, right? I dove down and collected some. Hey Megumin, when it's tourist season, I'll let you hire me as the goddess of this fountain," Aqua declared.

"Yeah?" I challenged, drawing one of the hidden throwing knives I had purchased a while ago, "Will you accept my offering?" I asked, tossing the blade up into the air, spinning end over end.

"Okay! Okay! I'm getting out!"

Megumin sighed, "Let's go to the next one,"

This one was strange. It was an entrance, leading into the earth, with no aesthetic appeal.

"This is the underground facility that seals 'the weapon that could destroy the world'. No one knows when it appeared, or how. I heard the mysterious facility was built at the same time," Megumin said, pointing at a large concrete factory-like building a short ways away.

"What do you mean, 'mysterious facility'?" I asked.

"I mean it literally. Even after going inside and investigating, we don't know who built it, what its purpose is, or even _how_ it was built,"

"'The weapon that could destroy the world'," Aqua muttered, "That sounds scary,"

Megumin nodded, "It's a good thing that the Crimson Demons are excellent magicians. The seal on the weapon will not be broken easily,"

"Are there any other crazy things sealed away in this town?" I asked sarcastically.

"You came too late," Megumin answered, "The 'Tomb of the Evil god', and the place where the 'unknown goddess was sealed' used to be here, but something happened and the seals were broken,"

"Wha- Shouldn't you be worried about the 'weapon that could destroy the world' if the other seals were broken?!" I exclaimed.

She shook her head, "No. To break that seal, you must solve a riddle and input the answer. However, the riddle is written in an ancient language that no one speaks, so it isn't a problem," she explained, "Now come on, there's a I wanna go to,"

We arrived at what appeared to be the tailor shop.

We stepped into the small store.

"Welcome," came the grizzled voice of the shop keep, "Megumin? Are these outsiders?" he asked, staring at Aqua and I suspiciously.

Aqua hid behind me to escape the shop keep's gaze.

"Yes," Megumin answered, "They are part of my adventurer party,"

"I see," he muttered, before standing and flourishing his cloak around his shoulders, a boisterous smile coming to his lips.

"I am Chekera!" he declared, "Archwizard that wields advanced magics! Shop owner of the number one tailor shop in the Crimson Demon clan!" He laughed heartily, "Once again, welcome to my shop! Aha, how long has it been since I've been able to introduce myself properly? 'Tis great to see outsiders once again!"

Was it some kind of… stress relief?

"I'm Aqua!" declared the woman, now less fearful, "And this is Kazuma! So this is the number one tailor in the village? Impressive!"

He grinned, "It is the only one, so yes,"

I snickered.

"There is but one of each store type in the village. Our numbers are not great, yes? So competition is a foolish endeavour," he explained, "So Miss Megumin, what can I get for you today?"

"I want to buy a spare robe," Megumin said, "One like this one, if you have some,"

He squinted at the robe, "Yes. I have a dozen that was recently dyed. How many would you like?"

"I will take all of them,"

"All? I suppose Megumin is a rich adventurer now, hmm? Alright, I will start cutting them to size once the payment is made. It will be 60 thousand Eris **(600 USD)**,"

Megumin looked at me and gave me her best puppy-dog eyes.

I raised an eyebrow, and she pouted harder.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but retrieved the money and handed it to the shop keep.

"Thank you very much! The robes will be delivered to your house upon completion!" he said, taking the robes from the laundry pole.

A laundry pole that was actually a high powered rifle.

Holy fuck is that a Hécate II?!

That thing can shoot through cement buildings! It's designed to kill _tanks_! And this dude's using to hang fucking _clothes_!

"Do you… know what it is Kazuma?" Megumin asked, noticing my incredulous stare.

"Do you, customer?" the shop keep echoed, "This laundry pole has been in my family for generations. It has never rusted, so we treat it as a great treasure,"

"Yeah, I know what it is. It's like a bow, with unique projectiles that fire themselves. It's probably powerful enough to damage the Destroyer,"

Megumin and the shop keep looked astounded.

"You don't have to worry about anything though. The ammunition it requires will likely never be seen again,"

"I… I see,"

This town is _so_ fucked.

* * *

"Didn't I say I wanted to go somewhere romantic?" Aqua complained as we sat atop a small grassy hill that overlooked the town.

"It _is_ a romantic spot," Megumin argued, "It's known as 'hill of the demon god'. Legends say that if you confess here, and become a couple, you may not part, or you shall receive the wrath of the demon god,"

"That's not romantic at all!" Aqua whined.

They continued to bicker as I looked at the town.

The griffon statue, the cat-girl shrine, the tailer, Yunyun's house, Megumin's house, th-

Wait a minute, what was that movement by Megumin's house?

I used illusion magic to magnify it, and I could make out the shapes of monsters sneaking around the building.

The alarm hadn't been raised, so they had made it in undetected.

"Time to go," I said firmly.

"What? Why?" Aqua asked.

"Demon King army," I said, pointing to Megumin's house, "They've snuck in by your house, Megumin,"

Megumin sighed, "They really are relentless. I don't get why they keep trying even though we destroy them all whenever they try. Come, let us stop them once more," she said, her speech slipping into the Crimson Demon's typical Chuuni way of speaking.

"Lead the way," I said, letting Megumin take the lead.

* * *

"What is with this woman?!" asked one of the monsters, "Where did she come from? What do you want?"

"Sylvia-sama!" came another, "She lacks any means of offense, yet did not try to escape! It must be a trap! We should retreat while we can!"

"You shall not pass!" Darkness declared, "You will have to defeat me if you wish to proceed, but I will not be taken out by some lowly monsters!"

I used my 'Earth-manipulation' along with a strong kick to knock down the wooden fence that obscured them from view.

There were four of those dark skinned monsters we had seen outside the town, plus a tall, beautiful woman in a flowing red dress.

Tanned skin, a full figure, long dark hair that slowly blended to red, and purple eyes gave her a very exotic look.

She was almost certainly the general with high magical resistance we had heard about.

"You're a general right?" I asked, "I've slain three of you already. If you stay, I'll make it four," I declared.

She turned and observed us, before gnashed her teeth, before ordering her minions.

"Retreat! We cannot fight them quietly, so flee!" she declared, before turning and leading the charge perpendicular to our approach, away from the village.

Aqua went to follow, but I stopped her.

"Don't. That's the general there. We're not prepared, and Darkness is already tired out," I turned to the woman in question, "Good job holding them off Darkness,"

She waved me off, "It was nothing. The minions weren't terribly strong, and that woman didn't try to attack, either,"

* * *

We ate dinner at Megumin's house once more, and I was again appointed to sleep with Megumin.

Once it was late enough, Yuiyui and Hyoizaburo ushered us into her room, and locked the door behind us.

I blinked at the confused Megumin.

"A bit pushy, aren't they?"

She giggled, and nodded shyly.

She looked to the bed, her cheeks going red once more.

I yawned, and started taking off my extra clothing.

Megumin yelped, "W-w-what are you d-doing?!" she exclaimed.

"Huh? Getting ready for bed?" I returned with a confused look.

Her face grew darker, and she looked away.

I climbed on the bed, and looked back at her, "Well? You coming?"

"Y-yes!" she hurriedly claimed, before she removed her cloak and other less comfortable clothing.

I patted the spot beside me on the bed as she slowly approached.

She hesitantly climbed on, her face burning. She carefully lay down beside me, in the same position we had been in the night before, just on opposite sides.

Megumin cautiously reached her arm across my torso, but stopped about halfway and began to retract it. I grabbed her wrist and pulled it the rest of the way across as she let out a startled yelp. I turned my head, and looked into her wide, scarlet eyes, her hot breath on my face.

I reached up and stroked her hair with my right hand, smiling at her.

"Goodnight Megumin," I whispered.

Her heart beat fluttered against my skin, "G-goodnight," she managed in return.

I shut my eyes, turning my head back upward as she continued to look at me.

She watched me intently for a while, and seemingly having decided I was asleep, cuddled closer and gripped me tightly.

"Goodnight Kazuma," she whispered.

* * *

"Demon King army alert! Demon King army alert!" screamed the alarm.

It was near midnight, I guessed.

I had woken immediately with the alarm, though Megumin was slower to react, still holding me close, but waking slowly.

"The Demon King army has infiltrated the village!" came the alarm.

Megumin groaned as she woke, "What's going on?" she asked upon seeing me.

"Demon King army is attacking. _Again_," I responded as I got out of the small bed.

It really _was_ starting to get annoying.

Yuiyui opened the door, looking regretful for having to disturb us.

"We'll see you out there," I told her as I started putting on my boots.

She nodded, and ran outside.

A minute later, and Megumin and I followed.

The general from earlier, who'd been referred to as Sylvia, was the only one still standing, but was adorned in small wounds.

"Would you _fuck off_ already?!" I shouted at her.

"_You_," she observed.

"Me," I agreed.

"You say you've slain three of my fellow generals. Who are you?" she returned with suspicion.

"I'm Satou Kazuma, and I shall likely be your killer," I answered.

She licked her lips, "You're bold. I like that. You claim that three are dead, yet we only know Beldia-san was slain,"

"Vanir was killed two weeks ago, and Hans less than a week ago," I returned.

"Communications did stop around then," she mumbled, before looking back to me with a hungry smile, "You're very… _powerful_ then, aren't you?"

She was really starting to annoy me.

I stepped forward, and readied my katana.

Then I woke up.

What the fuck?

I sucked in a breath and looked around.

I was in the entrance to the underground facility. The one with the superweapon, whatever it was. And with me was Sylvia, with my sword to Aqua's throat.

Aqua looked at me with wide, terrified eyes.

_What the fuck?!_

"Satou Kazuma," Sylvia began, "I've heard of you before. A powerful adventurer with intellect beyond words,"

"How did I get here?"

"You walked right into my magical trap," she explained smugly, "You have one minute to get that door open, or your Priest dies,"

Fuck.

I didn't have anything to fight her, and even if she tried, she'd just kill Aqua.

"Hurry~," she sang, "Clock's ticking~,"

Aqua quivered behind the blade.

Fuck it. This door needs to open.

"Where's the riddle thing?" I asked, and she pointed to the right side of the large doors.

It was written in English.

Thank fucking god.

'The Konami Code' was all it said, with a small panel of symbols beside it.

_Thank fucking god._

Relief flooded through me.

"I can open it," I told Sylvia.

She grinned viciously and stepped forward, dragging Aqua with her, "Well then? Do it!"

I started inputting the code.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.

The gigantic doors rumbled, and started sliding apart.

Sylvia grinned, and dropped Aqua to the floor, holding my sword by her side as she watched the doors open.

"Well done," she commended, "Had you taken much longer, those Crimson-"

Her words were cut off as my roundhouse kick connected with the back of her neck.

My sword fell from her grasp as she let out a pained screech and fell down the stairs through the door.

I dashed across, and punched the code in once more, and the doors rumbled shut, trapping the woman within them.

Aqua let free a sob, and dived at me, wrapping her arms around me as she cried freely.

"Thank you Kazuma!" she wailed, "I-I-I was s-so scared!"

"It's okay," I comforted, holding her tightly, "Everything's okay,"

She continued to cry into my shoulder until the Darkness, Megumin and Yunyun arrived, the rest of the Crimson Demons following close behind.

"Kazuma!" Darkness screamed, "Where's the general?!"

"Locked in there," I said, pointing at the closed doors.

Darkness let out a sigh of relief.

"In there?!" Yunyun shrieked, "In there is the Mage Killer! And Sylvia is a chimera!"

The fight's not over yet then. Not by a long shot.

"Everyone get out!" I barked, and they all turned tail, having heard Yunyun's declaration.

We had just gotten some distance from it when the ground rumbled. I turned back, and tearing through the earth, was Sylvia.

Her body had transformed. She no longer had legs; they had been replaced with a metallic snake-like body, many times her own length.

She cackled as she spotted me, "You have guts, boy! You think I came here to steal the weapon?! I came to _absorb_ it!" she screamed.

God I hate the chimeras of this world. Able to absorb just about anything they touched, and become stronger from it.

And now she had fused with the Mage Killer, a weapon completely immune to magical attacks.

"W-what do we do Kazuma-san?!" Yunyun cried.

"I don't know! How did you stop it before?" I shot back.

"Our ancestors used another weapon, but it's also sealed down there," Megumin said, "And no one knows how to use it!"

"There's an instruction manual with it!' Yunyun continued, "But it's written in the same ancient language that no one can read!"

"I can!" I told them, before turning to the rest of the group.

"Crimson Demons!" I yelled, "I know how to stop her! But I need you to keep her distracted so I can retrieve the weapon within the facility!"

"Aye!" called the village chief, "We can keep the beast occupied! Can't we?!"

The Crimson Demons cheered, and began rushing in different directions, ready to irritate the Lamia look alike.

Sylvia, by this time, had reached the village, and was doing her damnedest to destroy it; crushing buildings beneath her giant snake body, and breathing fire upon others.

I rushed past her, Aqua following behind me. We rushed down the steps into the underground facility.

I punched the code in, and rushed down the stairs as the doors rumbled open.

We were met with a pile of different magical tools.

"Kazuma, Kazuma!" Aqua cried with excitement, "It's a Gameboy!" she declared, holding up the ancient console.

Oh.

"That's not important right now! We need to find the weapon and the manual!" I called back, digging through the… Gameboy cartridges.

"I think I found the manual!" she called back, handing me a large book.

I opened it, and it was written in English, and appeared to be a Diary.

I skimmed through it, until near the end, I found what I was looking for.

'I modelled the weapon after the giant rifle they used in that anime, the one used by the blue haired girl. I think the gun was called Hekate?

Whatever. It compresses mana, then expels it out-'

The laundry post!

"I know where it is! Let's go!" I ordered.

"Right!" Aqua answered, running after me as I took off.

We made it out, and I sprinted for the tailors.

I looked to the side as I ran, observing the Crimson Demons. They were in small parties, striking Sylvia with spells before teleporting away when she came to retaliate.

I arrived at the store, and kicked the door in, sprinted in, and pulled the gigantic anti-material rifle off the wall it was attached to.

I ran back outside, Aqua dodging to the side as I approached the door.

I sprinted to the open, where I could get a free line-of-sight onto Sylvia. I lifted up the massive weapon, and pointed it at the chimera. I rested the stock against my shoulder as I crouched, aimed the weapon for Sylvia's midsection, took a breath, and pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

"Huh?"

I pulled it again, but still, no result.

"Fuck! It's not working!"

I looked the weapon over, and spotted a gauge, not unlike a car's fuel gauge. The needle sat firmly on 'Empty'.

I needed to fill it up with mana.

I started creating fire with my magic. As soon as a flame appeared, it was immediately dragged into the rifle, and disappeared from sight.

I did this for nearly ten seconds, and found that the gauge had ticked up by one notch.

One of maybe fifty.

It would take nearly ten minutes to fill this thing up.

"Aqua!" I called to the woman, who watched on anxiously, "Cast as much magic on this as you can!"

"O-okay!" she responded, immediately casting different spells upon it.

It ticked up faster, but still nowhere near fast enough. I did, however, know of a spell that should be able to fill it. I also knew the only girl who _could_ cast it.

The Crimson Demons were still distracting Sylvia, but they were slowing, while in contrast, she was speeding up, likely as she became accustomed to her new body.

I sprinted full pelt to where I could just see Megumin, standing with Darkness, Yunyun, and a couple others.

"Megumin!" I screamed once I was close enough, "Hit me with 'Explosion'!"

"W-what?!" she shrieked back.

"Just do it! Trust me!" I responded.

She looked worried, but resolute, as she began chanting.

It was then that the Demon King's general appeared.

"Stay back Sylvia!" Yunyun declared, stepping to the front as Megumin quietly chanted, "I am Yunyun!" she declared, "An Arch Wizard, and user of incredible magic!"

She took a step towards the behemoth.

"I am the number one mage of all Crimson Demons! The heir of the village!" she declared.

"And what can a puny mage like you do to me?" Sylvia asked with a smirk.

"I will use the accursed spell! The spell passed down through generations from chieftain to chieftain! The ultimate of taboo magic!"

Sylvia barked a laugh, "Even the top tier 'Explosion', and 'Implosion' spells cannot scratch me now. What can you _possibly_ do?"

Yunyun grinned at her, "Stall," she answered.

"'Explosion'!" Megumin cast, the spell flying towards me at a blistering pace, before abruptly vanishing as it was dragged into the magic rifle.

Yunyun turned back to another Crimson Demon, her air of confidence dissipating, "Get us out!" she shouted.

"'Teleport'!" cast the mage, and the ground vanished.

Sylvia roared in outrage.

"_Those fucking mages._ I'm going to kill every last one of you!" she roared.

She turned to face me, her face contorting in rage.

In response, I pointed the rifle at her again, and smirked.

"Boom,"

A beam of light appeared between us instantly. A bridge of magic power. A moment late, and it was gone, and with it, Sylvia, her body vanishing instantaneously.

* * *

The Crimson Demon village, which had been ravaged to a point near complete destruction was being rebuilt at a frightening speed.

"What the fuck?"

Debris was blown away with magical wind, dozens of golems, created from pure stone, walked around, rebuilding structures and carrying away rubble.

"Hey, uh, Megumin? How long do you think it'll take to rebuild the village?" I asked.

"Hmm? I don't know… Three days, maybe?"

Three days?!

"Seriously? You guys can repair it all that fast?!" I exclaimed in shock.

Megumin tilted her head in confusion, "Is it fast? I don't know how fast outsiders' construction is, so I can't really compare,"

"I… I guess not,"

"Ah! Megumin! Kazuma!" came Yunyun's voice, "Are you ready to head home?"

"Just about," I answered, "Just waiting on Aqua and Darkness to get here. Say, did you meet up with the Arue girl?"

Yunyun's eyes darkened, "Oh yes," she began, "We had a few words, to say the least. I was _not_ happy with her," she said.

Ah, there's Aqua and Darkness… Wait, what is she carrying?

"Oi! Did you keep that Gameboy?!"

* * *

A knocking came from the front door of our mansion.

"Do I never get any breaks?!" I half wailed before standing and walking to the door.

I opened it, and was greeted with an older man, roughly 50 by my eyes, dressed in a butlers' garb.

He blinked, before his face brightened in recognition, "Ah! You are Satou Kazuma-sama, yes? The owner of this mansion?"

I nodded, "Yeah, that's me. How can I help you sir?"

"Well Kazuma-sama," he began, "I have a letter for you," he said, extending the enveloped paper.

'Detect Danger' and 'Detect Trap' were silent, so I took the paper from his hand, and opened it.

'To the adventurer Satou Kazuma' it read, 'The adventurer who has defeated many of the Demon King's generals. I have read of your marvellous accomplishments, and hope to meet you in person. May I enjoy a meal together with you?

Iris Belzerg, Princess of Belzerg,'

Oh.

"Guess I'll have to learn proper etiquette," I whined.

* * *

**100,000 words. Wow.**

**First off, thanks to everyone who stopped by to read! I hope you enjoyed!**

**And with this chapter, all of the fifth light novel is done! I did skip a few parts, as they didn't work with what I wanted to write, so the movie will still have a bunch of stuff you haven't seen yet. And I've definitely gotta recommend it, like, read the book? Oh man, the end is **_**soooo**_** cute. You've **_**gotta**_** see it.**

**I've also decided that I'm going to take a break from writing this. Not a long one, just two, maybe three weeks. As I've been writing, I've been finding it harder and harder to keep the motivation to reach my writing goals, so to prevent myself from completely burning out, I think I need to take a break. I love this story. I love that so many of you love reading it. I love all the reviews that I get from you guys. It's awesome, and I don't want that to stop happening. **

**So yeah, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I really enjoyed writing Megumin in this! Bashful Megumin is just the cutest. And don't you worry, Aqua fans; our lovely goddess while be getting some fluff soon enough.**

**That's all for this chapter, I'll see you all in the next one!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic.**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 6,064**

**Story: 100,000**


	18. Chapter 18

The week of waiting for Princess Iris' arrival was surprisingly short. The etiquette training I had paid for was unsurprisingly dull; most of it was just formal speech, but bumped up a notch. I likely could have just winged it, and would have been fine, though having the extra knowledge couldn't hurt.

After defeating both Hans and Sylvia, my level had skyrocketed again, from 34 up to 43. With 15 of my 18 newly acquired skill points, I unlocked the skill I had been wanting for some time: 'Transmutation'.

Though with access to my new skill, a major flaw quickly became apparent. My mana capacity was severely limited, and I could barely transmute 100 grams of matter from one element to another _similar_ element, let alone complex structures and organic compounds.

It seemed that the larger the change, the more mana was required for a set mass, and as the densest material I had in decent supply was gold, atomic number 79, which was much too far from uranium, atomic number 92, and as such, I would not be able to make any form of nuclear devices for the time being. Besides, even if I _was_ capable of creating it, I didn't have enough of the necessary knowledge to apply it in a meaningful way. I knew the basics, not the statistics.

Fortunately, a subskill of 'Transmutation' seemed to be the ability to manipulate the chemical structure of a compound without having to change the elements of what was already available. This left uranium still unattainable, but simple organic compounds, such as the hydrocarbon line, feasible. I'd just have to acquire the necessary materials before attempting to create it, or end up killing myself from mana exhaustion.

Fortunately, hydrocarbons, as the name suggests, are only formed by hydrogen and carbon; two of the most prevalent elements in the world. So with a bucket of water and a large chunk of graphite, I began to work, and with the help of Vanir, I was able to manufacture and collect a small amount of liquid butane.

Unfortunately, my chemical knowledge was beyond the scope of Vanir's understanding, and so I could not teach him to create it himself. He could, however, create the casings for distributing and using the butane, in the form of simple, refillable, steel lighters.

They sold incredibly well. The ability to generate a flame with little effort and no magic quickly became viewed as a necessity among adventurers, and was nearly as popular among the mostly non-magical public. When it was revealed that a very limited amount could be created at a time, the offered price shot up, until I ended up selling the last of fifty lighters I had available for 16 million Eris **(160,000 USD)**.

So now it seemed a massive income was dependent on my mana supply, which was much more limited than I would like to admit. I had spent a few of my additional points on increasing my capacity already, but the one I had my eye on was still out of reach. 'One with the World', an Arch Priest skill; _Doubles mana capacity and mana capacity increases indefinitely_.

Aside from my money making and new training, life hadn't changed much. Though with the meeting with the princess coming ever closer, Darkness had been acting more and more anxiously, but with Megumin and Aqua attending with us, she had grounds for said worry. I didn't think there'd be any problem, however, as I had faith in them. Or at least, I had faith in their desire to please me.

But today was the day. We were to meet the princess in just an hour.

I wore a black tuxedo with a green undershirt and a black, silk tie. Not a bowtie, mind you; fuck that shit. I had done little with my hair; washing it, but leaving it mostly unkempt. The suit had been tailored to me, so it fit well, and as the tailor himself was used to dealing adventurers, the joints were made of some form of elastic fabric which allowed a near full degree of motion unimpeded. I was personally very happy with the outcome, and if Megumin and Aqua's stares were any indication, they were too.

On the topic of apparel and women, my companions were all looking very good as well.

Aqua wore a pure white with golden trim, strapless dress that conformed to her figure until the waist, where it flared outward slightly, stopping just below the knee, along with a pair of long white gloves that stopped above her biceps, showing off the smooth and pale skin of her shoulders and upper back. The bright smile she wore with it was able to outshine both of the bright colours of her dress while her bright blue hair flowed down her back in waves.

Megumin wore a similar dress. It was, however, a not-quite-black dark grey, slightly looser around her less developed body, held up by spaghetti straps, and ended in light frills around her knees. The simplicity was not able to detract from her beauty; the dark colour matched to her hair and brought focus to her vibrant crimson eyes, while the more modest shape highlighted her youthful innocence.

Darkness' dress differed quite greatly. It covered her shoulders, and extended down to her ankles. Her dress was a very pale, nearly white, pink, with frills at her collar, cuffs, and from her waist, down to her feet. The majority of her golden hair fell down her back, but a thick braid fell over her shoulder, between her breasts, over her crossed arms, and ended with a pale bow above her hips.

The three women looked so different from how they normally did, but all looked gorgeous none the less. While Aqua maintained her positive and confident personality, Darkness and Megumin were obviously less comfortable in their formal attire, and as such, stood slightly behind, willing to follow Aqua and I.

Aqua took advantage of Megumin's hesitation, and stepped in close beside me, but was still too nervous to initiate any contact.

Yunyun, never good with social activities, and too nervous to be seen in a dress, had decided not to attend, and instead waited at home.

We stopped as we arrived outside the Dustiness Ford mansion, and I could hear Darkness taking deep breaths rapidly behind me.

I turned around and put a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes darted up to meet mine, and I smiled to her.

"Relax," I told her, "It'll all go fine. Promise."

She took another deep breath, before nodding slowly.

"You two," I said, turning to the other women, "No explosions," I pointed at Megumin, "and no tricks," I pointed at Aqua, "under _any_ circumstances. Got it?"

Aqua pouted, "We _know_," she said, "You don't need to tell us."

"I want to hear you say it."

She rolled her eyes. "No tricks."

I turned to Megumin, "And?"

"No explosions," she grumbled.

"Good. Thank you," I said with a nod, "This is the princess of the entire _nation_. We need to be on our absolute best behaviour here. Everybody ready?" Nods all around, "Then let's go."

Even from outside, I could see the number of butlers and maids had increased. A show of importance, either directed at the princess from the Dustiness family, or from the princess directed to the public. One of them, an older man, stood alert at the door, and upon seeing us, waved us forward.

"Lady Lalatina, and esteemed guests," he said, "The princess is not yet prepared for your meeting. Please follow me." He turned on his heel and held the door open for us to pass through, then strode off, leading us to a small waiting room. "Please wait here," he said, "I will inform the princess of your arrival." He stepped through the door, and disappeared into the hallway.

After a minute, a maid opened the door. "The princess will see you now," she said, and quickly stepped into the hallway and began leading us away.

We arrived at the dinning hall, the floor covered in a red carpet, with a long table through the middle. Candles lit up the room, displaying the expensive looking meals adorning the table, while servants stood ready on either side.

At the head of the table sat the princess. She was young, 12 or 13 at oldest, but sat with a regality that betrayed her youthful appearance. Her dress was in two parts. It was white and trimmed with gold, similar to Aqua's dress, and the upper portion was held close to the skin of her upper body, covering her shoulders with sleeves reaching down to her wrists, leaving a triangular shape of exposed skin with the other part. The lower portion covered the rest of her small body, keeping close to the skin until it began to flare under the bust in overlapping frills, down below my line of sight. She had long, golden hair, with a single braid falling down her front, and curious blue eyes that watched us intently as we entered.

She was _totally_ adorable.

To either side of the princess stood a woman. On her right, a pale woman wearing a dark dress. She was unarmed, unlike the woman on the princess' left. This woman had short hair, and instead of wearing a dress, wore a white suit, carrying a thin sword on her left hip.

I glanced around the room, and noticed all the housekeep present were female. I suppose it was rather inappropriate for the young, beautiful princess to constantly be in the presence of male warriors.

Darkness took a couple steps ahead, and curtsied to the princess, before speaking.

"Greetings Princess Iris," Darkness began formally, "These are my friends, and my adventuring comrades."

Aqua stepped forward, and executed a flawless curtsy. "I am the Archpriest, Aqua," she introduced, "Pleased to meet you, Princess Iris."

The princess smiled politely, and nodded to her.

Megumin stepped forward next, giving her best attempt at a curtsy, like the other two before her had. "H-hello Princess," she stammered, before taking a slow breath, "I am the Archwizard, Megumin!" she declared proudly, having regained some of her normal confidence.

"And I'm Satou Kazuma," I said, giving the princess a formal bow, "the leader of our party. It's an honour to meet you, Princess Iris."

I smiled kindly as I spoke, and the princess returned it.

The woman in white beside the princess stepped forward slightly, a scowl in place. "Lower you head, plebeian," she commanded, "You will not meet the princess' eyes. You are beneath her."

Ah. One of _these_ people.

I stared at the woman for a couple seconds, enough for the atmosphere to become tense.

"I see," I said calmly, "My apologise."

The princess tugged at the woman's sleeve, and began to whisper into her ear after she bent down.

The suited woman stood again, and spoke.

"Now then, please sit. Let us dine, and tell us of your adventures, the princess said."

Oh. She's conveying messages. The princess seems a lot shyer than she should be, considering her position and the undoubtedly numerous times she would have had to speak in public.

We sat and collected meals for ourselves, while the princess whispered to her suited bodyguard again.

"Are you the one the magic swordsman, Mitsurugi, mentioned? I wish to hear of how you defeated him, the princess askes."

Oh shit. I forgot about that asshole. Was he famous over in the Capital too?

"Mitsurugi? Oh, say, has he been found yet? He went missing a while ago, didn't he?" I asked in return.

The suited woman pulled her lips taut. "No. Nothing has been heard of him yet," she answered curtly.

I scratched at the back of my neck. "Really weird that he just kinda…" I waved my arms around, as though searching for an explanation, "up 'n vanished. Well, it's not like he went and joined the Demon King, right?"

The princess' eyes widened for a moment, before she pursed he lips, and shared a look with the suited woman.

Oh wow, it was really easy to make her doubt him. I thought I'd have to do more than that.

I cleared my throat. "Uh, anyway, I defeated him by using hand-to-hand combat. I had trained in martial arts when I was young, so it wasn't all that hard to take him down, even with his high level. Hell, even defeating those toads was harder," I said simply, leaving the progression of the conversation up to the young girl's curiosity.

Sure enough, she tilted her head slightly in confusion, and tugged on her body guard's sleeve.

"Toads?" she asked in her charge's stead.

"Ah, now _that's_ an interesting story."

* * *

"and do you know who visited the most hot springs?" I asked rhetorically, holding back a laugh. "Her!" I pointed at Aqua, "And they all thought she was some kind of villain, 'cos when she purified the water, she also removed all the minerals and stuff that they wanted," I laughed.

"K-Kazuma! You d-didn't need to tell her that!" Aqua protested, a pout on her face.

I ignored her, and she continued to whine as the princess giggled.

"Fortunately, I managed to explain that to the Guild, and with some help from Lalatina's name, convinced the Guild to issue an arrest warrant. _Un_fortunately, that just spurred Hans into action. The next day the hot springs started filling with poison, so our party ventured to the city's main water supply, where we found Hans, and I already told you about that."

The princess' eyes shone as she whispered excitedly to her body guard.

"How exceptional!" she complemented, "Since you seem to constantly be bettering yourself, both the princess and I would like to know, how does a man like you spend his days?"

"Training," I answered simply, "While levelling up more would make me faster and stronger, it would be meaningless if I couldn't use it properly. With all the powerful enemies we have defeated, my level has surpassed my skill, so I've been working to flip that balance. Oh, and I spend a good bit of time creating things to sell."

The princess tiled her head quizzically, but before she could gather her guard's attention, the suited woman spoke.

"If I may ask, what did you do before you became an adventurer?" she said, a little unsure.

I gave a strained looking smile, "Nothing interesting, unfortunately. I was a student up until about a year ago, where, if I wanted to live, I had to become an adventurer."

The body guard grimaced, as the princess looked to me with sympathy.

"I'm sorry," the body guard said, "I have pried too far."

I waved off her apology, "It's fine," I told her, "I'm used to this new life now, and I enjoy it more than what I had before."

The princess whispered to her guard.

"I'm glad," she recites, "With all you have managed to achieve, it has me very curious of what skills you have. I admit, I'm also curious. If you wouldn't mind, would we be able to view it? The princess said."

"I don't see why not, but please keep the information private," I asked, extracting my Adventurer's Card and passing it to the suited woman as she stepped closer.

"Your high level makes sense," admitted the woman, "but your class… Ranger, the second weakest. Did you truly defeat Mitsurugi-san?"

"Of course. Do you doubt my honesty?" I asked with a hint of hostility.

"I… _No_, that- um- That was not my intention," she stammered, dropping into a low bow, "Please accept my apology Kazuma-san, it's just that the Adventurer class line does not garner much respect."

"It's alright. That's understandable." I returned. "I chose it for a reason, actually. Have a look at my skills, and you may see why."

She looked down at the card again, and began studying it with the princess.

"'Martial Artist'… Ah, that would explain does explain how you defeated Mitsurugi, as you said," She observed, "'Element Manipulation', 'First Strike', 'Hide'… These… These are some very versatile skills. I think I understand your choice in class, Kazuma-sama. Wait, 'Transmutaion'? I have never heard of that skill, what is it? And 'Drain Touch'? You have an undead skill?"

I smiled, "Perks of my class. I can learn the skills of any other class, even undead ones, so long as I understand how it works, and I have seen them in use. I learnt about how 'Drain Touch' worked pretty quickly when it was being used on me," I laughed. "'Transmutation' is one of two spells that I learnt when fighting against the Duke of Hell, Vanir. They're part of a dead class of magic, known as Alchemy."

The woman in black beside the princess froze, and began paying rapt attention.

"What 'Transmutation' does is," I continued, "well, it's hard to explain without a pretty significant scientific understanding, so it would be easier to show you. Do you have a gold coin on you, by any chance?"

The princess and her guards looked curious, before handed me a gold coin.

The coin, made from near pure gold, weighed around 30 grams, easily within what I was capable of transmuting, especially considering platinum, the element I planned to change it to, was only a single proton different.

I used my magic, and the surface of the coin shimmered slightly, then began changing colour, from metallic yellow, to silver. I decided to make the transformation flashy. Once I finished, I snapped my fingers, generating a spark with my magic, and igniting the hydrogen atoms that had been ejected from the gold during the transmutation with a small flash.

The princess and her guards jumped slightly in surprise, but otherwise didn't react, before gaping at the newly created wealth.

The woman in black rushed forward, and took the outstretched coin.

"'Appraisal'!" she cast, before gasping, "Your highness! The coin is platinum! It still carries the magic seal of a gold coin, and the value, but other than that, it is identical to a platinum coin!"

Oh, they have them enchanted in some way. I guess to prevent counterfeits. Smart.

The princess took it from her, inspecting it in wonder.

"'Transmutation' allows me to change the material of an object into another. In this case, from gold to platinum," I explained. "It doesn't let me make something from nothing however. That flash you saw was me igniting the left over mass, as platinum is smaller than gold."

"Was the flash necessary for the spell then?" the woman in black, who I concluded was a mage, asked.

"Uh, no," I admitted, "I just did it 'cos it looked cool."

The princess giggled, still looking at the coin in amazement.

The meeting continued. We ate more, told more stories, and generally had an enjoyable experience. The princess was becoming less shy the more I spoke, I could see, but was yet to say anything without having it told through her bodyguard.

Eventually, we reached the end of the princess' assigned time, and we all prepared to leave.

The princess took a small step forward, and bowed lightly. "Thank you very much for coming," she said quietly, a shy smile on her face, "Will you please tell me more stories in the future?"

I smiled. "Of course," I answered, to which she beamed. "It was a pleasure meeting with you, your Highness. I look forward to our next meeting."

With the goodbyes complete, the mage began the chant for the 'Teleport' spell.

The princess looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean?" she asked, leaning forward and grabbing a hold of my arm.

"'Teleport'!"

The world flashed white, and we appeared in a gigantic room, with servants lining the walls.

The princess grinned at me. "Didn't you say you would tell me more of your adventures?"

…

I like this girl.

* * *

**Hey all! Thank you all so much for your patience, and sorry this chapter's so short. My work hours got upped, and I got sick for a while there, but now I'm doing better, and back into writing!**

**As you know, last chapter got the story to 100l words, but it **_**also**_** got it to 1,000 follows **_**and **_**100k views! That's just like, so many zeros. I've also had a lot of support since putting it on AO3! Thank you all for coming to read, and I hope you enjoyed!**

**So I've put a poll up on my profile, as I've decided that I should have a consistent upload schedule for my other fic, because I really enjoy writing it. Because of the current results, I'm going to write a chapter for that next week, rather than another chapter for this. Sorry again guys, but writing that one really helps with my motivation to write more, for both that fic, and this one.**

**And to the Guest reviewer, this story is **_**absolutely **_**not dead. I have no plans to ever just stop writing this, hell, I don't even have plans to **_**finish**_** it. I want to write my take on **_**all**_** of the source material until I'm up to date, and when more comes out, write for that as well! Even if, at some point, I decided that I'm not up to continue this, it won't die. I'll put it up to adoption, and give it to whoever I think can continue it the best.**

**Oh, I also had an idea for a My Hero Academia fic which I wrote a hundred or so words for, when the idea came. I won't tell you guys what it's about, 'cos I don't think it's been done in the fandom yet, and I don't want anyone to steal it. Let me know if you're interested, and I might commit a little time (outside of what I normally spend writing) to try get a first chapter done.**

**Anyway, thanks for stopping by once again, and I'll see you all in two weeks! For real this time!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic.**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 3,329**

**Story: 103,329**


	19. Chapter 19

"Do you ever wonder how people discovered spells? Y'know, like, when people were first discovering magic," I asked.

The princess looked at me quizzically.

"I mean, like, if they didn't have adventurer's cards to learn spells with, how did they discover them? Did people just chant random words until something exploded?"

"I don't know," Iris said, joining me in lying atop her bed, "C'mon, let's go do something fun," she whined.

I turned my head to look at her, "Oh? What did you have in mind? Does it involve chanting random words until something explodes?"

She rolled her eyes at me, ignoring my final question. "Can you teach me that coin roll-y thing?"

"I don't see why not, so long as you don't figure out how to blow someone up with it." I responded.

"I'm not _you_, Onii-san," she bit back.

I snickered, pulled out a coin, and started to teach her.

After my impromptu-abduction, curtesy of the princess, I had been welcomed within the palace as a guest of honour.

The princess was almost always under scrutiny, and had many expectations she had to uphold as a member of the royal family. She had never had the time to simply enjoy herself as girls her age should, and that had left her felling starved of entertainment.

According to her, this had changed with my stories and informal inflection. It'd been a breath of fresh air from the prim and proper meetings and lessons that filled most of her days. And so she asked me to stay. Asked me to tell her more stories, and fill her free time with the fun she had missed out on.

I had, as a sucker for cute little girls, agreed immediately. Besides, who was I to not follow a request of the princess of the nation? Someone not interested in earning the ire of the Royal Family, that's who.

Upon my agreement, she had quickly requested (demanded) that I call her by her given name, without honorific, nor title. I agreed, on the condition that she do the same for me.

It was late in the day that she started to look guilty.

"Iris?" I had asked her, "Are you okay? What's the problem?"

"I…" she began hesitantly, "I had a lot of fun today. Thank you for that. But I've taken the day from you, so I'll have you sent home tomorrow."

She didn't want me to go, I could see, but felt she had taken too much of my time to ask for more. I didn't want to go either. She was a lot of fun to be with, and any positive standing I could get with the Royal Family would be _huge_. She wouldn't let me stay if I asked though, she had already decided that she was wasting my time, and would only take any request I made as an attempt to please her.

I'd just have to convince her otherwise.

When night fell, we were escorted back to our rooms to sleep. I however, had another plan.

A few minutes later, and I knocked on Iris' window. She sat up rapidly, her eyes darting to the window. She spotted me, and scampered over, opening the window as quietly as she could.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed in a whisper.

"Oh, you know, just hanging out," I replied with a grin.

"We're on the fourth floor!"

"Like I said; hanging out." I held a hand out to her, "Follow me."

She paused and looked around her room quickly, before she hesitantly took my offered hand.

I pulled her slowly onto the window sill, and carefully climbed over the lip onto the roof, directing her to do the same, while supporting her with a firm grip on her hand so she couldn't fall.

She clambered up easily, and followed me along the tiles to the little camp of bedding and pillows I had created on a flat area of the roof.

"You ever been stargazing?" she tilted her head, then shook it. "Look up."

Her head went back, and she gasped.

The stars of this world, as far as I could tell, were nearly identical to that of Earth, except here, the view was not sullied by pollution of gasses nor light, and the bright bands of stars that made the Milky-Way was on clear display.

I guided her down onto her back, and lay beside her, observing the sky.

"How many do you think there are?" I asked.

"I… I don't know. Thousands." She concluded.

"You think so? Take this."

I handed her a device I had created with Vanir. A telescope with both mechanical and magical zoom. It could zoom to nearly 500 times what was seen with the naked eye, and 10 times what a normal telescope of the same size could. It also stabilised itself magically, so even at those massive zoom levels, it would remain on target even without being braced.

She took it, and looked through it at its based zoom level of 20 times, observing the stars in much higher detail.

"See that dark patch over there?" I said, pointing at the area, "What do you see there?"

"Nothing. There aren't any stars there," she told me.

"Tell it to zoom."

"Zoom." A moment later, she gasped again. "It's full… It's full of stars!" She took the telescope from her eye, and looked at me, the largest smile I'd seen, full of joy and wonder, adorning her face.

"How many stars do you think there are now?"

"Millions! Billions! Too many to count!"

I laughed, "Right? Now, do you know what a star _is_?"

She put the scope down beside her carefully, and looked to me fully. "A star is… a star. A bright point in the night sky, isn't it?"

"They're much more than that. But first, do you know how the planets and the sun work?"

She nodded, "Our planet is a ball that spins to face toward and away from the sun, as well as all the way around. That's what makes days and years, right?"

"Exactly. There are a lot of other planets that spin around the sun like we do, both closer and farther away than where we are. We spin around the sun from 150 _million_ kilometres away."

Her jaw dropped. "That far?"

I nodded. "That far. Now stars, they're actually suns, just like ours. Smaller and larger, brighter and darker, so far away that we only see them as a point in the sky. They have planets that spin around them, just like ours does, but they're so far that we'd never see them."

She looked back to the sky, eyes wide with wonder, struggling to comprehend the scale of the universe.

"How far away are they?"

"You see that bright one there?" I pointed at a star, and waited for her nod. "That's the closest star; Alpha Centauri. It's over four trillion kilometres away."

She gaped at me, sitting silently for a moment in contemplation. "How do you know all this?" she asked.

I smiled to her. "Where I came from, before I became an adventurer, there was basically no one who could use magic, so instead of studying it, we studied our world, and we studied what was beyond our world. We prized knowledge above nearly everything, and many dedicated their lives to learning more. That knowledge was passed down to the next generation, so then they could use it to find new knowledge."

"Wow. That sounds incredible."

"It was, and yet, it was our downfall."

"How could knowledge harm you?"

"Our desire for learning became a desire for more. It became greed, and that greed became hatred; hatred for one another. We had learnt so much, including how to harm. And that hatred, fuelled by greed, pushed us to conflict. We destroyed each other, and the land we lived upon, for nothing more than greed. I don't know what's happened in the last while, I left while I could, but I doubt things have improved since I left."

Iris wrapped her hands around mine and held it tight. "I'm sorry," she told me, "I shouldn't have asked that."

"It's okay," I assured her, "It was a difficult transition, but I'm enjoying my life here more than I enjoyed my last one. I've made many friends, and have many stories to tell, if you'd like to hear more of them." I said, turning to look at her.

She took a deep breath.

I gave her an encouraging smile.

"I want to," she whispered, "I want you to stay Onii-san."

* * *

I had been here nearly a week now, and my influences on Iris were only becoming more apparent. Gone was the timid and straightforward girl she was when we had first met; now she was witty and at times, sarcastic, unafraid to fight dirty in battles of swords, or battles of words.

"Good!" I cheered as the wooden training sword was wrenched from my grasp through a disarming manoeuvre, "But not good enough," I continued, tapping a finger of my left hand against her throat. "I could have had a knife, or used magic, and you'd be dead."

Iris grumbled, and lowered her own training sword, taking a step back, and lifting her sword to a ready position.

"What did you do wrong?" I asked.

"I over-committed," she said, "Got too close."

"Not quite. It wouldn't be too close if you carried a knife of your own, but with just that sword, you need to keep them at the edge of your reach, or you're giving them the advantage."

Iris nodded, accepting the criticism easily, then grinning widely. "I'll beat you this time Onii-san!" she declared.

I laughed, "What, like the last eight times?"

She pouted and huffed. "It's not like you go easy on me."

I raised an eyebrow. "What was the first thing I taught you?"

"Not to chant random words until something blows up?"

"Combat related."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't go easy, unless you're fooling someone into over confidence."

"Right. Are you a fool?"

She poked her tongue out at me, and instead of answering, attacked.

She was relentless in her barrage, but no strikes connected, either getting blocked, dodged, or parried. She kept pushing forward, slowly pushing me backwards. As I took another step back, she dropped into a sweeping kick, in an aim to take my leg out from under me whilst one was still in the air.

I didn't bother to dodge. She may have incredible strength from her high level, but she didn't have nearly enough to best me. I tensed my leg, ready to weather the blow, and prepared a counter attack.

He kick connected, and I lifted my sword, only my foot, which I had unknowingly placed on top of some loose bedding, slid smoothly along the marble flooring.

I fell to the floor, and made to stand immediately, but found a wooden sword at my throat, blocking my ascent.

Iris grinned down at me. "I told you I'd win this time," she said, before lowering her sword and offering a hand.

"So you did." I grinned back, and took the offered hand, standing with her assistance. "You planned this from the start, didn't you?"

When she had left her bed, she had let the bedding fall to the floor and left it there, while normally she would have stopped to tidy it. I hadn't thought much of it then, thinking it to just be enthusiasm and excitement for our training, nor had I taken the obstacle it presented into consideration, as we had started over a dozen metres away. Over the last half hour of training, she had slowly been moving us towards it, and had finally capitalised on it.

Iris grinned wider at my accusation.

"Guess I'm the fool, huh?" I said, rubbing a hand through her hair. "That was _very_ clever of you."

She pushed her head into the contact, and preened at the compliment.

"C'mon, let's take a break before your classes start."

"Okay!"

* * *

It was nearing noon. Iris still had another 3 hours before her lessons completed, and I had nothing to do, so I just relaxed in bed.

A knock at the door.

"Come in," I said, turning to face my guest. "Darkness? What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? I'm here to bring you home, of course!" she retorted, "Seriously, how long were you planning on staying?! This in the _royal place_. You can't keep troubling them with this!" she declared.

Behind Darkness, just outside the doorframe with Aqua and Megumin, I could see Claire, the princess' white suited guard. She had quite openly (to me at least) despised me, and that hatred had only grown as I 'corrupted' the princess with 'uncouth tactics unbefitting of her position as a noble royalty'.

It seemed that her hatred for me had finally outgrown her desire to follow Iris' wishes, and she was taking it into her own hands to evict me, hence the arrival of Darkness, in a pitiful attempt to shift, or at least divide, the blame of my absence. She had the authority to do so, as well, as the princess was still viewed as too young to lead, a large degree of authority was placed in her bodyguard.

"Megumin was so worried that you'd gotten into trouble that she couldn't sleep!" Darkness continued.

"Wha- I wasn't that worried!" Megumin quickly denied, "I just decided to stay up a few nights! It had nothing to do with Kazuma!" she protested.

"It's not like I've just been lounging around the whole time," I returned, "I've been looking after the princess."

"Acting as a playmate is _hardly_ an official position," Claire sniped.

I levelled a flat look at her.

"First; not acting. I don't feel the need to change the way I act around the princess, unlike many, a fact I'm aware she appreciates. Second; it's not just play. I've been teaching her many things in the time we spend together, and she's taken to it quickly, as the best way to teach is when your student _wants_ to learn. Besides, why not hire me as a teacher? I'd have an official position that way."

Claire sneered. "You would do well to keep your _teachings_ away from the princess."

I opened my mouth to retort, but Darkness cut me off.

"Kazuma! You are a _guest_. Besides, Claire-san told me you had been teaching the princess underhanded tactics! Adventurers can get away with it, but royalty and knights have honour to uphold!" she said.

"_Honour_," I spat, "If you teach the princess to fight with honour, you are teaching her to _die_. If you teach her to lead with honour, you teacher her to lead those beneath to their deaths. Who would fight, should she be dead? Who would lead, should she be dead? Tell me _Claire_, would you instruct the princess to die?"

Claire growled.

"Please stop!" Iris begged, having appeared behind the group in the hallway. She must have escaped from her classes early.

"Princess Iris!" Darkness pleaded, "Kazuma is quite famous in Axel. People will worry if he goes missing. Can you please let him come back?"

Iris' face saddened, and after a moment she nodded. "You are right. I'm sorry for being so selfish. But please, if you are to leave, can I host a farewell dinner party?"

* * *

Dinner was going well.

Darkness was more or less being harassed by nobles trying to get in her pants, while Aqua and Megumin conversed with young noble women, leaving me on my lonesome.

Iris walked over, a small smile on her face.

"Ah yes! My lovely little sister has come to save me from boredom!" I mock cheered.

She giggled quietly, and took a seat beside me.

"From tomorrow onwards, the castle is going to be quiet. I'm sure Claire and Rain," the mage in black, "will be pleased, but I'm going to miss you." Iris said, sighing softly.

"They really don't like me, did they?"

She shook her head, a smile on her lips.

"No, they don't. This last week; it will always be a precious memory to me. I really envy Lalatina. She must be having fun every day."

She was quiet for a moment.

"I want to be an adventurer like Onii-san and Lalatina," she declared, "Everyone born to the royal family has a high potential for using magic, right? I probably can't be a crusader like Lalatina, but what about a mage or priest? Or maybe even a thief? I could be like the Chivalrous Thief that roams that the Capital can't stop talking about!"

Ah, the Chivalrous Thief. Some Robbin Hood wannabe. Stealing from nobles with bad reputations, only for large sums of money to _mysteriously_ be donated to churches and orphanaged the very next day. I'd say they were a bad thief, having developed a reputation, but no evidence has yet been discovered, and they remain a complete unknown.

"Do you think Claire would be mad if I said I wanted to be a thief?" Iris continued.

"Definitely," I laughed, "but when has that stopped _me_?"

"And you act like you don't know why she hates you," she giggled.

"The Chivalrous Thief is kind of a problem for nobles huh?" Iris nodded, confused, "And nobody's even seen them, so if someone were to say, catch them, they'd look pretty good, right? That, along with the princess' approval, would make for a pretty good résumé to become the princess' personal bodyguard, wouldn't it?"

Her eyes widened, before a large smile bloomed, "It would."

"Then it's decided," I said loudly, standing, "Oi Lalatina!" I called, "We're gonna catch the Chivalrous Thief!"

"Wh-what?" she stammered, "Why?"

I grinned, "I'm sure someone strong enough to capture the notorious Chivalrous Thief would make for an excellent royal bodyguard. Wouldn't you agree, Claire?"

Claire scoffed, "If such a person exists."

"Splendid!" a noble behind Darkness cheered, "That Chivalrous Thief is a menace! Not that he would target me, of course." The other nobles were quick to agree.

Subtle.

"Then you can stay in the house of the noble you believe would be targeted, and stay there until they strike. Who do you wish to stay with?"

I looked through the nobles, and grinned.

* * *

"You chose me without hesitation." Alderp growled.

"Yep."

"You _know_ how that affects my reputation, don't you?"

"Yep."

"I should have you _executed_ for this insult."

"You tried that already. If it's so bad for your reputation, should I go to the house of another noble? I can do so, just say the word."

Alderp stayed quiet.

"Would it kill you to not get into trouble for once?" Aqua whined.

"_Me?_ Shouldn't I be telling _you_ that?"

Aqua raised a hand to her mouth, acting affronted. "What an accusation! I'm hurt, Kazuma! Shocked and hurt!"

"We have permission from the royal family to stay as long as we like, so… Dibs on the biggest room!"

"No fair!" Aqua protested, "I want the one nearest the dining room then!"

"Top floor!" Megumin demanded.

Darkness grimaced, then bowed to Alderp slightly. "I'm very sorry for their behaviour," she told him.

"It's ah, fine. Lady Dustiness must have it hard," he said sympathetically.

After taking the possessions of mine that Darkness had brought from Axel to my room, I scouted out the house, looking to find any faults in the building' security that the Thief was likely to take advantage of.

There were many. Just by observing the guards, I quickly found a hole in their rotations that would give plenty of time for the Thief to get in. Furthermore, the kitchen windows were worn down, and would be easy to get in through. It seemed Alderp was stingy in his repair costs.

If it were me trying to break in, that's where I would strike.

If I wanted the Thief caught, I'd need to be awake, which meant I'd need to stay awake overnight.

That was gonna suck.

* * *

That sucked.

I woke mid-afternoon.

Forcibly reversing your sleep cycle was ass.

Nothing had happened through the night, so I'd just been bored out of my mind the entire time.

The second night, there was nothing either.

It was midnight of the third night when I sensed someone approaching the window from outside. The Thief was here.

I activated all my hiding related skills, and sat quietly, waiting for the Thief to enter the building where they could not easily escape.

The window was eased open, and a figure clad in dark cloth slipped through it. They were small in stature, with light swept back hair. I couldn't make out much else in the dark.

"To not have such poor sentries," the figure whispered to themselves, "How arrogant. 'Detect Treasure'."

Definitely the Thief.

They silently stepped past the alcove I hid in, then I attacked. I 'Dash'ed forward and tackled them to the ground, the Thief letting out a startled gasp. It was a woman, I noted. She reacted admirably, reaching for a dagger on her left hip, but I grabbed the wrist and pulled the arm behind her back.

We hit the floor and the Thief grunted as I pinned her to the floor. I took her dagger quickly, and pressed it to the back of her neck.

"Don't move," I instructed forcefully.

"Huh? Kazuma?!" the Thief said quietly.

That voice is familiar.

"It's me! Chris!"

She turned her head to the side, and sure enough, Chris lay beneath me.

"Chris?!" I hissed, incredulous, "You're the Chivalrous Thief?"

"Yes! I am, okay? Now please let me go!"

I shook my head and stood, releasing her and offering a hand. She rolled over and took it, and I pulled her to her feet.

"If this is the kinda play you like, you coulda just asked, you know. I don't judge."

Even in the near pitch black, I could see her cheeks darken.

"But seriously, you're the Chivalrous Thief? That's not a great example you're setting, for someone who lives up top," I said, referring to her divinity subtly.

"Look, there is a _reason_, y'know? I've been hunting down the Divine Relics that have been left behind."

Ah.

"From the ones sent over?"

She nodded.

"I thought they were restricted to the one who brought it along. Like, Mitsurugi's sword, Gram, I think? That just became a regular sword when someone else tried to use it. DO you know what happened to him, by the way?"

"He died. I don't know how though. I only handle the ones who are sent over, not those coming back. I um, made an exception for you, though," she admitted sheepishly.

Of course, I knew this already. I had asked about her duties when we had talked in the past, as well as knowing the means behind a death was to be kept confidential. There was no way she could have known I killed him, so I needed to play along.

"But you're mostly right about the exclusivity of the Relics. Even if they're not wielded by their owner, they are often very powerful. Like, one item was a piece of jewellery that allowed the owner to switch bodies with someone when they said an incantation. If you knew the incantation, you'd be able to switch bodies still, but it would only be temporary. Even without knowing it, it still increases mana capacity greatly," she explained.

"And even though the chances of getting the incantation right is close to null, there _is_ a chance. That's the problem, right?"

She grinned, and gave me a thumbs up. "Got it in one." She sighed. "I need your help Kazuma-san. I know there's at least two Relics in the Royal Palace, but I don't have the skills to get in there by myself."

* * *

"Mother _fucker_!" I shouted as magical ropes wrapped around me, tying my limbs together. Chris quickly slipped back out of the window and bolted away.

A few moments later, I heard hurried steps coming down the stairs, then towards me.

"K-Kazuma!" Aqua stammered as she entered the room, "What happened?!" she asked in alarm.

"The Thief! Get these ropes off me!"

"R-Right! 'Spell Break'!"

The ropes vanished in an instant, and I hurriedly stood, and bolted to the window, peered around for a moment, then slammed my hand down onto the desk.

It was at that time that the others arrived. Megumin in the lead, with Darkness close behind, and Alderp a few steps behind her.

"What's going on?" Megumin asked.

"It was the Chivalrous Thief," I told her, "He escaped. We need to meet with the princess as soon as we can. He's incredibly dangerous."

* * *

We were at the castle at dawn.

"I see," Claire began smugly, "Despite your confidence, you let the Thief slip through your fingers."

"You don't seem to understand how serious this is. Please let me make my report."

She sneered, but nodded.

"He had a similar build to mine, but a bit shorter, with light hair, wearing dark clothing. He was completely silent in our fight, until he cast Bind on me, and even then, it was just in a whisper. His face was almost hidden behind a mask, except for his mouth, and the entire time, he had _smirk_ on his face. He was _playing_ with me," I snarled.

I turned to face the princess directly.

"Princess Iris. He is _very_ fast, and _very_ dangerous. If you plan on dealing with him, you need to be very careful."

"I understand Kazuma-san," Iris replied, "Thank you for the detailed report. We'll be sure to use your information to aid in the search."

I grimaced, "I wish I could tell you more, but it was too dark to make out finer details."

"You've given us plenty." She smiled. "Th-"

"Demon King army raid!" The announcement echoed through the streets of the entire Capital. "A large group of the Demon King's army has been detected to the north! Knights Corps, prepare to engage! We ask that all high levelled adventurers assist in the battle!"

I looked to my party, and they returned resolute nods.

"To the north gate!" I instructed, and we ran.

It was fortunate that I had everyone wear their adventuring gear. I had thought that arriving in gear designed for combat would assist with our image as guards.

We arrived at the gates as one of the first groups. A squadron of knights wait at the doors, issuing instructions and preparing for combat.

"Adventurers this way!" called a man to the left. "There are no specific instructions, as you've not been trained in group manoeuvres, so you'll be acting independently from the Knight Corps. I will inspect everyone's Adventurer's Card before the battle, and we will provide rewards based on how many monsters you slay!"

He had no armour, nor weapon. He was likely the Guild's representative.

My party was first in queue, myself in the lead. I handed my card to the man from the Guild.

"Satou- Wait, _Satou Kazuma_?!" he exclaimed, "The one who-"

"Yeah, uh, that's me. Keep it quick though yeah? Lots of other people waiting."

"R-right. Thank you very much for coming sir!"

A moment later, the rest of my party was through, and we waited by the gates with the Knight Corps.

A few minutes later, the soft murmuring of adventurers and knights rose in volume. I turned back towards the city, and could see a small entourage of nobles, along with the princess herself. It seemed they'd come to raise morale.

"Demon King army subjugation group; move out!" declared a knight, and the gates began to open.

I locked eyes with Iris. I grinned, and lifted my first two fingers to my head, before flicking them out in a small salute. Iris smiled back, eyes full of anticipation. I certainly wasn't going to let her down.

It was Megumin who began the battle, letting loose a devastating 'Explosion' in the midst of their ranks, scorching the earth and sky with magical fire.

Our forces cheered, and after a moment to replenish some of Megumin's magic, we joined their charge, quickly coming to the front of it.

Two walls of flesh collided, and we began our slaughter. The ripping of muscle, the burning of skin, and the screams of agony were our symphony of death, as together, our party carved a bloody path into their ranks.

While they were primarily undead, which Aqua could exterminate en mass with her Turn Undead spells, there were other monsters mixed in. The Winter Shogun's sword had no trouble cutting wide swaths through their flesh, and they fell to my feet, dead before they could even try to retaliate.

Magic continued to rain upon all around us. Buffs applied to us from Aqua, elemental destruction from myself, and the fierce pops that signified Megumin's 'Detonate', sending which ever target was unfortunate enough to be in her line of sight careening into a wide sword swing, curtesy of either Darkness, or myself.

Darkness strode ahead, impassable, at the head of our group. She took blow after blow, unfazed and unstoppable, crushing foes underfoot, and cleaved through the tightly packed enemies without difficulty.

By the time the last enemy was slain, their commander, who had fallen to a single strike, like all others before him, we stood upon a mound of broken bodies. Bloodied, burned, crushed, severed, or impaled. The remains told the story of how each fell to the pile.

My clothes and face were covered in soot and gore, my skin and hair wet with blood, and I felt exhausted, but I didn't care. I grinned wide, lifting my sword above my head in triumph, the cheers of adventurers and knights alike drowning out all sounds.

We made our way back through the city, Megumin perched on my back, as she had exhausted her mana for a second time, the citizens cheering, offering their thanks and gratitude as we passed them.

As we all arrived at the castle, Iris and her bodyguards were there to address us.

"Dear knights and adventurers!" Claire called, taking a step forward, "Thank you for your hard work! The capital is safe thanks to your exemplary performance! Her Highness Iris expressed her sincere gratitude on behalf of the Kingdom! Look forward to your bounty payments!"

The adventurers cheered.

"To reward you all, we will be hosting a banquet at the palace this evening! Please everyone, go home and rest, and meet us tonight when we dine in your honour! That is all, thank you everyone!"

The adventurers cheered louder, before they quickly dissipated, returning to their homes. Moments later, Darkness was again surrounded by nobles, praising her for her actions.

"Hey Kazuma," Aqua began, "Before the party begins, I'm going to go invite all the people I healed to the Axis church. I healed them, so they might join!"

"Alright. Have fun. Don't be too pushy, remember, or you'll just drive them away."

She smiled. "Okay! Bye Kazuma, Megumin."

She vanished around a corner, so I started speaking with Megumin.

"Wanna head to a hotel and just relax for a while? I need to catch up on some sleep."

Megumin hummed her agreement, "I need some rest too."

It was then that Iris ducked around some people, and arrived in front of us. She took in my appearance, and gasped.

"O-Onii-san! Are you okay?!" she exclaimed.

"_Onii_-san?!" Megumin echoed.

"Hey Iris." I smiled at her. "Yeah, I'm fine. A little dirty, is all."

"B-but Onii-san! You're covered in blood!"

"She said 'Onii-san' again!"

"It's not mine," I reassured with a laugh, "There was just a lot of monsters."

"O-oh," she stammered, still looking unsure.

"I'm okay Iris, I promise. I appreciate the concern," I said kindly.

Her cheeks coloured a little.

"I'll see you tonight, alright? I'm gonna go rest until the banquet. I've got some sleep to catch up on from staying up all night."

"Okay Onii-san, I'll see you then!" she finished cheerfully, before turning and vanishing into the crowd.

"She called you 'Onii-san'," Megumin accused, "She got very close to you in a week."

Oh my. Jealous Megumin is so cute!

"Yeah," I laughed, "She's a great kid. I think you'll like her. She's a lot of fun. C'mon, let's go find a hotel."

* * *

After a long shower, and a couple hours of sleep, Megumin woke me, as I had requested. We decided to go explore the royal castle. As I was still an official guest, I would be able to get us in without issue.

After an hour of exploration, I returned us to the room I'd been staying in, where we played a few rounds of chess, and other games.

"Onii-san," came Iris' tentative voice as she stepped into the door frame, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

She stepped in, and I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Onii-san. You can't stay in the castle. I…" she sniffed, "I tried t-to convince Claire, but I c-couldn't-," her voice broke.

I quickly moved to her, and pulled her into a tight hug. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay," I soothed, "It's not your fault."

"B-but Onii-san did so much! A-and I still-"

I hushed her, rubbing her back slowly. "It's okay."

Iris cried quietly.

We spent a couple of minutes that way, before Iris slowly composed herself.

"Thank you Onii-san."

"Anytime Iris. And I do mean anytime. If you want to spend a day playing? Contact me, and I'll come. We can play around and do what we want, just like we have been doing. Does that sound good?"

She nodded, then turned to Megumin, bowing quickly.

"I'm sorry, I've ignored you," she said.

Megumin waved her off with a kind smile. "You're fine. Oh? What's this? I suppose it's expected of your Highness. That's quite a powerful magic item you have," Megumin observed, shifting the conversation topic. "Is that necklace a divine level item? It doesn't seem to be of Crimson Magic origin, so where'd you get it?"

"This?" Iris asked, laying a hand on the necklace.

It was relatively simple. A golden chain with a series of thin gold bars falling from it.

"It was given to me by my Onii-sama. He was given it as a tribute, and I'm holding onto it while he's on an expedition," Iris explained, referring to her older brother, the current first-in-line for kingship.

"So what powers does it have?" Megumin continued, "With how much power it has, it must be extraordinary! It might be strong enough to destroy the world!"

I shook my head at the exaggeration. She sure had some weird fetishes.

"Um, actually, the way to use it is unknown. There are some engravings on it, but no-one has been able to translate it. Even the best scholars are stumped."

I looked at the necklace curiously.

"'Your things are mine, my things are yours; I will turn into you'," I read aloud, only for the necklace to begin glowing. "Ah fuck."

A beam of light shot out from the necklace, connecting the two of us, before there was a bright flash, forcing me to close my eyes.

I opened them again, to find myself much lower to the ground.

"Huh?" Megumin exclaimed, "Nothing happened?"

I was still standing upright though, how was I lower down? I turned, and looked at myself.

"Oh," came a young, feminine voice from my throat.

"Oh," myself agreed.

Megumin looked between us suspiciously. "How long are you going to keep staring at each other?"

"Wrong Megumin," I told her, "A lot just happened."

Her eyes widened. "Wha- Addressing me directly by name? You may be royalty, but I am still your elder! If you want to call Kazuma 'Onii-san' then you can call me 'Megumin-nee' or 'Onee-san'. And should you really be speaking in that tone? That Claire woman claimed you were being 'corrupted' by Kazuma, but if you're speaking like that, it may be too late to save you."

I peered at her with narrowed eyes. "Oi, explosion loli."

"L-loli?!"

I jerked a thumb at myself, "_I'm_ Kazuma." I pointed at my own body. Fuck me, and if that wasn't strange. "_She's_ Iris."

"W-what's going on, Onii-san?!" 'Iris' said, my own voice coming out in her stead.

Hearing such a timid tone, and 'Onii-san', coming from my own mouth was nearly enough to make me retch.

I winced visibly. "Yeah, uh, please don't call me that with my own body. It's incredibly disturbing."

"W-we switched bodies?! How did this happen?"

I took a step forward, and nearly fell over. All my weight was wrong. My legs were longer, there was less weight in my torso, and more in my hips and legs. My entire body shifted differently when I tried to move.

I could also feel the difference in flexibility. I could already fell the looseness of my joints, ready to stretch further than my male body was capable of. It was all extremely disconcerting.

"It was the necklace," I finally answered. "Don't try to move Iris. You'll fall. This necklace is a Divine Relic. Don't worry, this change isn't permanent, but I don't know how long it will be until the change reverses."

Megumin's eyes darted between us, taking in Iris' timid expression, and my own annoyed one. "The necklace switched your bodies?"

"Mhm."

Oh god, my teeth were all different. _Everything_ felt different. My weight moved differently when I breathed, my ankles and hips shifted differently to keep me upright, my arms were harder to lift, despite being lighter.

There was a knock on the door.

"Iris-sama?" Claire called, "Are you alright? I heard shouting."

"I'm okay," I giggled, "Onii-san just needs to get better at losing. You can go back to your sentry duties,"

"As you wish, your Highness."

I waited a moment to make sure she was gone. "Being a girl is weird."

"Being a boy is weird," Iris retorted. "I feel so much stronger. And tall too. Is this how you feel all the time, Onii-san?"

"Pretty much."

We tried a number of things to reverse the change. Reciting the activation phrase, doing it backwards, saying the opposite, but nothing worked. It seemed we'd be stuck like this until the time ran out.

Iris' eyes widened. "Wait. If I look like you, then I wouldn't have to stay with Claire and my bodyguards, would I? Do you think I could go out?!" she asked, excitement creeping into her, _my_ voice.

I blinked. Man, my eyelashes were long. "I don't see why not. Megumin, can you take care of her? I can look after myself fine for a while."

Megumin hummed in thought. "I can do that. Are you good to go, Iris-san?"

Iris grinned. "Yes! Let's go, Onee-san!"

"Um, even though I asked you to call me that, hearing it coming from Kazuma is really strange. Please just call me Megumin for now."

They were quick to disappear, and Claire was quick to notice. She arrived a few minutes later to retrieve me to meet with some nobles. I played along well, I thought, at least, well enough that Claire didn't notice anything off about me.

I noticed something off about her however. I caught the looks she gave me when she thought I wasn't looking, or, more specifically, the looks she was giving Iris' _body_.

Revulsion rolled through me, and it took a lot of will power to not forcibly remove her eyes from her skull. She, a grown woman, was sneaking looks at the body of a 12 year old girl, the girl I treated better than any sister I would have ever had.

I will cut Claire to pieces, if it's the last thing I do.

* * *

It was less than an hour before our bodies switched.

It was very uncomfortable, as at the time, I had my eyes closed, but an instant later, they were open.

And a fist was flying towards me.

I shifted left, letting it pass over my shoulder, and kicking the man who had attacked me in the stomach. He staggered back into two of his friends.

"Hah! Take that!" Megumin cheered from her perch on my back.

"Megumin, didn't I ask you to look after Iris?"

"Oh? You're back? Um… well, you see, these guys showed up out of an alleyway and started harassing us."

"I see. I'll deal with them quickly then."

I didn't even have to hit them again. After my short conversation, they bolted.

"Oh. So what did you and Iris do while you were out?"

"We mostly just explored," Megumin explained, "but it looked like she really enjoyed it. She had her first meal from a roadside vendor too, and that made her really happy."

We decided to go back to the hotel, as it was nearing evening, and prepare for the banquet. Aqua and Darkness met us there, and we dressed in the formal clothes we'd used at our first meeting with Iris.

We went to the banquet, but it was honestly rather boring. The food was good, and that's about it. I couldn't even go hang out with Iris, as she was constantly being pestered by nobles and others. I decided to take my leave early, as I could see the other women were enjoying it more than I was, with the excuse of needing to sleep to fix my sleep schedule.

Now it was time to prepare.

* * *

I was nearly finished when Chris arrived at my window. I quickly let her through.

"I found one of the Relics," I told her, "The body switcher. Princess Iris has it."

She sucked a breath in through her teeth. "That's not good."

"Explain."

"If one of the switched bodies is killed, the switch doesn't reverse."

Shit. That's very not good. It's basically a key to immortality. Switch bodies with someone young, and kill them while they're in your old body, repeat when necessary. If someone took the princess, they'd not only be incredibly strong, but in a position of immense power. I needed to get it off her. Tonight.

And it was a 'tribute' to the Prince, Iris had said, so someone wanted to take him.

"We can't tell anyone about this. If the nobles or royal family found out about this… well, the more power someone has, the more they crave eternal life. I'm only telling you this because I know you wouldn't use something for evil, even if you got your hands on it."

She's not wrong. I didn't need it. I was going to get immortality as my wish for defeating the Demon King, so the Relic didn't matter to me. Besides, why would I want to have a do over? I spent a whole lotta time on this life! I earnt these skills and shit. I'm not gonna throw them away.

"We need to get it then."

She nodded. "Are you ready? Let's head out straight away."

"Wait," I told her, "You're hair is too distinct. Come here. Sorry about this, but don't worry, it shouldn't be too hard to wash out."

"W-wait. What are you planning?!"

"Come here Chris."

"No! Stay away!"

* * *

Chris' normally bright silver hair was now a dark grey, dulled by the powdered graphite I had rubbed through it, having converted it from wood.

"Follow me," I whispered leading her around to the side of the building in the darkness of midnight, the sheer walls of the castle to our left. We reached the spot I wanted. "Ready?"

She nodded, pulling a bandana up over her nose to cover her mouth and other features. I pulled my own mask out, pushed aside my magically disguised dirty blond hair, and donned it. A black and white Vanir mask. It covered my face down to the middle of my nose, where it split to reveal my mouth.

It was important that my description of the Chivalrous Thief was accurate, no?

I pulled the cheap recurve bow I had purchased earlier from my back, and tied a thin rope to an arrow.

"'Snipe'," I cast in a whisper, letting the arrow soar over the wall and catch on the other side. I tugged the rope sharply to test its strength, then began clambering up it.

We moved quickly through the castle's courtyard, dashing between shadows in complete silence, dodging around the patrolling guards.

We arrived at a servant entrance. I tested it, to find it locked.

"I've got it," Chris whispered, pulling out some thin metal tools. Lockpicks. Moments later, the lock clicked, and Chris carefully opened the door.

We crept through the halls, myself in the lead, as I was familiar with the layout of the building. We made it to the stairs after a few minutes, and quickly scaled them.

"Here's the treasure room," Chris whispered, "I can detect he barrier. We need to check it for the other Relic."

Chris pulled out a small, vaguely pistol shaped device. It was a thick steel tube with a bend in the middle and a pointed tip. She grabbed a small handle at the bottom end, and pulled a rod outwards until it could go no further. She moved it forward slowly, until it suddenly stopped a few centimetres from the door. Chris pressed a button on the side of the device, and the rod slowly began sliding back into it.

The barrier around the door suddenly became visible, flaring as the rod slowly retracted, cracks rapidly spreading across its surface, with Chris' gadget at the centre. The rod fully retracted, and the barrier shattered like glass with an unnerving silence.

Chris turned back to me, and flashed a thumbs up. "A Barrier Breaker," she explained, "Very rare tool that the Demon King army produces."

The door opened without difficulty, and we quickly explored the treasure room in search of the Relic. We searched for a few minutes, and while I did find some things from Japan, including an _adult_ manga, there was no Relic.

"It's not here," Chris said, "No matter, let's get the Relic from the princess."

I nodded.

"Wha- Someone has breached the treasure room!" shouted a man from outside.

Well fuck.

I dashed forward, and found the guard who had discovered us.

"Thief!" he screamed, spotting me, "Stop!"

I dashed forward again, touching my hand to his skin, and pulling all his strength away with 'Drain Touch'. I was too late however, as torches around the castle began being lit, and voices started moving towards us.

"We've been discovered," Chris observed, "We need to get out,"

I shook my head. "We need to get that Relic off Iris."

She took a deep breath, but nodded in agreement. I took off, and she followed, but not before extracting a small ball of steel wire, and tossing it behind her into the hallway we had originally come from.

"'Wire Trap'!"

The ball exploded, silver string stretching out in all directions, save forward and back. The wire struck the walls, floor, and ceiling, sticking in place, and forming a spider web of steel. It may not stop the guards from following, but it'd at least slow them down.

We ran through the halls towards Iris' rooms, but we were forced to skid to a stop when confronted with three guards, one of whom was a captain.

"The thieves!" the left most one declared, "Stop right now, or we'll cut you down where you stand!"

"Captain," the other began, "The short one is armed. We should capture the tall one, then focus on the other."

There was a smirk upon my lips as I took a calm step forward, arms in front of me, palms held outwards.

"Surrendering, eh?" the captain said. "Good call, you wouldn't have stood a ch-"

His pretentious boasting was cut off as he screamed in pain, his strength and magic forcefully being extracted the moment he touched my hand. A moment later, he collapsed, unconscious.

I smirked wider.

I leapt at the left guard, delivering a roundhouse kick to his head with the literal strength of three men. I was, however, careful not to kill him. It wouldn't be good for the Chivalrous Thieves' reputation.

"'Bind'," I whispered, and magical ropes shot from my hands, stopping the only conscious guard in his tracks and causing him to fall, as his legs and arms suddenly locked in place.

"They're over here!" another voice called.

We continued running. With my magic, I coated the ground around the next doorway in water, then froze it solid. Chris then placed another wire trap there, making it very nearly impassable.

We pushed into the next hallway, and were confronted with a mage, a guard flanking the woman on either side. The mage began casting, lightning dancing between her fingers, but Chris was faster.

"'Skill Bind'!"

The lightning of the mage's spell flickered, and vanished.

"'Bind'," I whispered again, thrusting both hands out. The magic ropes shot out, incapacitating both guards. I 'Dash'ed toward the mage, laying a hand on her wrist, an drawing out her strength and magic, to both replenish my own, and render her unconscious.

I kicked in the door of the meeting hall that separated us from Iris' chamber. Inside, Claire and Rain, along with a cluster of other guards awaited.

Claire stepped forward, a hand on the hilt of her sword. "Stop right there, Chivalrous Thieves! You shan't reach the princess! You'll have to go through us first!"

My smirk widened into a grin.

I swept my right hand forward dramatically.

"'Freeze'," I whispered.

Seeing I wouldn't be coming easily, Claire pulled her sword, only to find it frozen in place, still within the sheath. That moment she took to observer her blade in shock was all I needed.

Another 'Dash' and I was right in front of her, thrusting an open palmed strike at her face.

"'Create Water',"

Claire choked as her mouth and nose were suddenly filled with water. I clicked my fingers dramatically, and Claire collapsed to her knees as the water froze, clogging her airways.

"Claire!" Rain screamed, lifting her staff and readying her magics.

I pulled a hidden throwing knife from my sleeve, and tossed it with the assistance of 'Snipe'. It struck the crystal at the head of the staff, and Rain yelped as it shattered.

Chris was already making her way forward, dancing elegantly between the guards attacks, and catching any that came too close on her dagger. I rushed to follow, and we quite easily dodged past them and made it to the final hallway.

A door to the left opened, and Darkness stepped out, sword at the ready, while Megumin remained in the hallway. Megumin gasped as she took in my appearance.

"S-so cool!" she stammered.

Of course the chuuni thought I was cool. It probably helped that it was the look I was going for.

"Stop!" Darkness demanded, feet wide and sword high.

Chris and I ignored her, and ran at her. She swung a wide horizontal strike, much too early to hit us. Chris nimbly, vaulted over Darkness, while I slid smoothly beneath her. We got back to our feet easily, and ran right to Iris' room.

"Go for the window," I instructed, a moment before we pushed into the princess' chambers.

"Intruders!" Iris called bravely, her rapier at the ready, "I am a member of the powerful royal family, and inherited the bloodlines of heroes! Don't think you can…"

He words trailed off, and her eyes widened, when instead of charging her, we ran to the nearest window. I wrapped my arm around Chris' waist, and kicked us off towards the window backwards.

"'Steal'!" we cast.

My back hit the window, and the glass shattered, unable to impede us.

A small item appeared in my closed fist. Not the necklace. A quick glance at Chris, and I could see the shimmering gold bars.

I quickly slipped the item into a pocket as we began to fall the four stories to the floor. I held Chris tightly, and aimed my arm down, unleashing a powerful blast of air magic to slow our decent. We hit the ground, soft enough that it wasn't too painful, and bolted away.

We ran from the castle full speed, before I pulled us into an alleyway.

"Take this," I blurted, pulling off my mask and ripping the black clothing off of me, revealing my adventuring apparel beneath. "Burn it all. I'll meet you in Axel tomorrow."

Chris nodded, took it, and ran deeper into the alley, vanishing into the darkness.

I bolted back to the castle, my hair returning to its normal colour as the mana supply to my 'Chameleon' spell was cut off. I pushed a hand through it, making it even messier than it was already.

I ran through the unmanned gates, through the winding hallways filled with bewildered guards, all the way to Iris' room.

"Get away from the door!" I hollered, before lifting a foot, and kicking it full force. The door didn't just come open, nor did it just come off its hinges. It flew away from me, flipping in the air before it fell to the ground.

"Iris!" I screamed, rushing into the room. I spotted her, being cared for by Megumin, Aqua, and Darkness, from what I could see.

"Kazuma?" Darkness exclaimed in shock.

I ran past her, and grabbed Iris by the shoulders, quickly looking her over. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, "They didn't touch me."

I let loose a deep sigh. "Thank _god_. If something had happened, and I wasn't here, I don't know what I would have done."

"It's okay, Onii-san," Iris said, "I knew I'd be fine," she continued, looking at me seriously.

I see. She knows.

Megumin stepped forward, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "We'll be just outside," she said.

I smiled at her. "Thank you."

They filed out of the room quietly, leaving Iris and myself alone.

"I'm sorry Iris," I told her, taking her small hands in mine. I slipped the ring I had stolen from her by mistake back onto her finger. "That necklace? If you switch with someone, one of you dies, the change becomes permanent. If someone knew how to use it, and they used it on you…"

She gasped in understanding.

"I'm sorry I had to do it like I did, but I was out of options."

Iris smiled, and wrapped her arms around my neck, giggling lightly, "I told you before Onii-san: it's okay. I trust you."

I retuned the hug for a moment, before she pulled back lightly, and pulled the ring off her finger once more. She pushed it into my hands, her face flushing. "Keep the ring, Onii-san," she instructed.

Oh my.

A ring, given to all children born to the royal family at a very young age, it would never leave their person, as it was only to be given away to their partner in marriage.

"I… are you sure?"

She nodded, cheeks red.

I closed my hands around it, smiling at her kindly. "You're young," I began, "so wait a few years. If even then, this is something you want, I will accept you gladly. I'll hold onto this until then. If you ever want it returned, you know how to get it."

Iris smiled. A smile brighter than the sun, directed straight at me.

Man, that was one _hell_ of a day.

* * *

**Hello all! **

**Sorry this is a little late, I really wanted to get to the end of this book before finishing the chapter, and god damn, it took quite a bit. **

**I'm sure a lot of you noticed that this chapter was longer than normal. In comparison to my aimed 6k words, this one is over 9k (my largest chapter I've written so far!). Not enough for two chapter, but **_**way**_** longer than one. I haven't had time to have this edited, so I apologise for any mistakes there may be.**

**Not going to lie, but after this, I kinda understand why the Japanese audience loves Iris so much. She's absolutely adorable. I can't wait to write more of her.**

**Oh, and on the 'Barrier Breaker', I had to make it up, mostly. It's referred to a total of two times in the books, and no physical description is given. The item I had in mind was Jolt Nerf gun, but without a trigger, trigger guard, or grip, along with a thicker 'barrel' and ending in a cone shape to make a tip.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy! I'll see you all again next week!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic.**

**Word count**

**Chapter: 9,263**

**Story: 112,592**


	20. Chapter 20

We met once more with Iris in the morning for a final goodbye. And it seemed Claire had survived my trick with the ice. Unfortunate, but likely for the best. A thief could be excused by the people, a murderer could not.

Speaking of thieves, the streets were abuzz with word of the Chivalrous Thief, and his new companion, the Graceful Bandit, who had broken into the Royal Castle, and escaped unharmed. Rumors say they infiltrated the treasure room, yet took nothing, they were then discovered, fought through guards and powerful adventurers alike, stole just a necklace from the princess herself, and escaped without a single fatality.

It was believed that the Bandit and the Thief had broken into the castle for nothing more than to prove their strength. They had found nothing acquired through less-than-moral methods, so they had left without anything but the necklace.

It was also rumored that the necklace was a dangerous magical item that the princess had been wearing unknowingly. Though I had no idea where such a rumor could have begun, especially without evidence. No idea at all.

Rain sent us to the Dustiness mansion with her teleport spell, which, aside from the normal staff, was vacant. Darkness' father was still absent with business. We had no reason to remain, and trudged home, everyone weary from the last few days.

"You guys go on ahead," I told my companions, spotting Chris' figure nearby, "I've got some things to do at the Guild."

They agreed, and continued their walk home as I peeled off towards Chris. I nodded to her slightly as I passed, pushing open the doors and stepping into the Guild.

"Ah, Kazuma-san! It's good to see you back!" Luna cheerfully announced.

"Hey Luna. Good to be back."

I walked past the bar and found a secluded table, Chris a few steps behind me. I took the furthest seat, and she took the one opposite.

Chris let out an explosive sigh. "That was _way_ too intense," she claimed, though the massive grin that refused to leave her lips said otherwise.

"You got rid of all the gear?"

She nodded, "And I've taken the necklace back upstairs."

I leant back, relaxing a little. "Good. Wouldn't want to be found with that."

She nodded again, a dusting of pink growing on her cheeks. "Gotta say Kazuma; you were really cool out there. I thought we were toast a couple of times, but then you were all like, 'Hiya!' and 'Wachaw!'" she claimed, making exaggerated karate chops in the air.

I snickered. "You weren't too bad yourself. We woulda been screwed without those lockpicks, and those wire trap things. Most of all, you kept cool. That's not easy to do," I praised.

Her cheeks reddened more, and she scratched at one, laughing bashfully. "I didn't do that much."

"Right," I said, disbelief thick. "Anyway, are you going to need me for anything else, or is that all?"

She tilted her head in thought. "Hopefully, this is all I need, but I might need your help again in the future. But, Kazuma, there is one more thing."

"Go on."

"When Aqua Descended with you, she wasn't exactly subtle about it. To someone like the Demon King, it would be like a giant beam of light fell from the sky. He probably would have sent one of his generals to investigate, but when word arose that he was defeated…"

"He would think someone very powerful is here," I continued, a frown forming.

Chris nodded sullenly, "And on top of that, you slew Vanir nearby too. If he assembles a powerful raid against Axel, we won't be able to stop him."

"More recently, I killed Hans at Alcanretia, and Sylvia at the Crimson Demon clan's village, and they're both in the general direction away from here and the Capital, so he probably thinks I'm travelling that way."

"Even so, he'll figure out you're still here if you keep drawing attention," Chris said, reaching a hand forward and grasping my own. "You've been very lucky so far, Kazuma-san, but luck can only get you so far."

I squeezed her hand. "I'll be careful. I'll see you around Chris. Hey!" I called to a waitress. "A crimson beer for my friend here!"

She nodded, and strode back to the bar.

"Later Chris," I said, giving her a little wave, before walking to the bar quickly, dropping off some money for the drink, and walking out.

My next stop was Wiz's shop. The bell chimed softly as I stepped through the door. My bows and arrows lined one of the shelves off to the left side. Since Vanir had had more time to produce them, just about every archer in town, and even more out, sported one.

"One moment!" Vanir called from the back room, before he stepped through the doorway into the light.

"Hello Vanir."

"Kazuma," he returned, "Here for thy share, moi presumes?"

I nodded, and he disappeared back into the back room, returning a couple minutes later, a case large sack in his hand. He handed it to me, and I peered inside, revealing a great number of platinum and gold coins.

"It's all here?"

"Thou doubts moi?"

"Of course."

He grinned, then nodded. "Yes. That debt-magnet shop-keep counted it herself to make sure moi would not cheat thou."

I nodded in return. "Speaking of; where is Wiz?"

"Asleep. She has spent numerous nights working to make back all that she lost us. Will thou produce more of thy 'lighters'? They hold great value, and will make us much wealth."

"I plan to, but my mana capacity is too low to make much. Do you have any skills that increase mana?" I asked.

"Moi does. Does thou wish to learn?"

I nodded, and he showed me.

By nature of being a devil, Vanir was able to draw magic from Hell itself, bolstering both his current quantity, and his maximum supplies. A moment after his explanation and demonstration, his skill appeared on my Adventurer's Card. 'Devil's Consort'; _Double mana capacity, and allows user to draw mana from Hell, at the cost of mana becoming more chaotic the more it is drawn_.

It was a powerful skill, at 15 points, just like 'One with the World', however, it only increased my current capacity, and didn't affect future upgrades, nor my regeneration. The description for 'One with the World' says that it doubles mana increases as well as capacity, which I learnt from Aqua applied to regeneration of said magic. By learning 'Devil's Consort', I'd double the time it took to regenerate all of my magic, but the ability to draw it from Hell would be worth the price.

Hopefully, I'd be able to get them both. I'll need a lot more points though. Killing all of those enemies during the raid at the Capital had increased my level from 43 to 46, awarding me with an additional 6 points, for a total of 9. I'd need to level three more times to have enough for one, unless I managed to find some other way to get more skill points.

Finally, I made my way back to our mansion. "I'm home," I declared, stepping through the door.

"Ah, Kazuma-san! It's good to see you! How was your trip?" Yunyun asked eagerly.

I smiled. "Hey Yunyun, it's good to see you again. The trip was alright. Sorry to leave without any explanation, and thanks for taking care of the house while we were out. How have you been?"

"I've been doing well, thank you. I've been using my time to practice my magic. I admit, I was worried when I heard that the princess had taken you without warning, but I knew you would be fine," she said.

"Sorry for worrying you Yunyun," I said, stepping forward and rubbing a hand through her hair. She blushed, but didn't pull away.

"Th-that's okay!" she stammered.

I looked down as I felt something brush against my lower leg.

"Oh, hello to you to, Chomusuke," I said, leaning down and picking up the black cat. She purred as I began stroking her dark fur, pushing her head into my palm for better pets. I used a slim amount of magic to heat my palms, and Chomusuke purred louder.

I chuckled. "It's good to see you too."

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"I'm Kazuma."

"I got something cool!" Aqua exclaimed excitedly as she rounded the corner, clasping something close to her chest.

"What is it?"

"Look!" she said, presenting a… chicken egg? What?

"An egg?"

"A _dragon_ egg!" she corrected.

"It looks like a chicken egg."

She ignored me. "When I went outside, a merchant approached me. He had heard of all our exploits, and he said 'It's an honour to meet you! I have been searching for a powerful adventurer who can fight on par with the Demon King's army.' Then he offered me this dragon egg really cheap!"

Oh. She's been scammed.

"Dragon eggs are normally really hard to come by, and go for more than 100 million normally, so I asked why this one was so cheap, and he said he didn't want it to be a symbol of wealth, but to contribute to our fight against the Demon King!"

I sighed.

"Aqua. How much did you pay for that?"

"Around 60 million Eris. Don't worry, I only used my own money."

Well, that wasn't too bad.

"I already decided on a name!" she declared.

"Of course you have."

"He will be Glinsfold Zell Emperor. Since I am raising him, he will be the greatest! The emperor among all the dragons!"

I sighed. It was good to be home, I suppose.

* * *

It'd been a week since our return from the Capital. I was just returning to the mansion, Aqua in tow, from grocery shopping.

I could hear muttering on the other side of the door as I opened it.

I was greeted with Darkness, rolled up in a thick blanket, trapped on the floor, cheeks red. Megumin squatted above her, cheeks a similar shade, waving an ice cube in front of her face.

"You want this, don't you?" Megumin said smugly, "Just give up, and it's all yours~"

"No! I won't submit! With my honour at stake, I could go on for hours!" Darkness panted.

They looked to me a moment later, cheeks darkening.

I took a step back, and shut the door quietly.

"No!" Megumin shouted, "It's not what it looks like! You don't understand!" she claimed, trying to pull the door back open.

"I understand plenty!" I yelled back, yanking the door. "And I don't need to see any more, you damn pervert!"

"No!" she protested, "I'm not a pervert!"

I let go of the door, and she yelped as it nearly slapped her in the face.

"The Axis cult accepts love between people of the same sex," Aqua helpfully supplied. "Would you like my blessing, as a priest?"

Megumin clambered back to her feet, words failing her.

Aqua and I tried to hold back our giggles, but ultimately failed, and laughed at Megumin's incredibly embarrassed face. She pouted hard, her face only reddening further, which pushied Aqua and I into another bout of laughter.

We eventually gained control of ourselves, and I turned to Megumin. "So what _were_ you doing? I doubt you were doing what you looked like you were; you're still a little young for that kinda thing Megu-chan."

She stammered at the nickname, diverting her eyes as her cheeks flushed once more.

"It was training," Darkness said in Megumin's steed.

"Y-yes!" Megumin said, quick to agree. "Darkness is going to be in the annual Endurance Contest, and she wanted my help to train for it. W-we weren't doing anything like _that_."

"To think there would be additional shame play," Darkness moaned.

"Sh-shut up! You're not helping!" Megumin shouted.

"So why are you doing it here?" I interjected, "Couldn't you have done this at your father's house?"

"Well," Darkness began, "My father has been unwell recently. If he were to see me like this, it wouldn't be good for his peace of mind."

"I can't imagine why." I snarked.

"Let's call it a day, now that Kazuma and Aqua are home," Darkness said, ignoring my final comment, "Thanks for your help Megumin. It seems that raising my level has increased my heat tolerance significantly."

Now that she mentioned it, it _was_ hot in here. I peeked around Megumin, and saw a fire had been lit.

Darkness wiggled around, before quickly giving up. "Could you please get me out? I'm all sweaty, and I want to take a bath."

"Oh? If you insist," I said, stepping up to her, and putting a foot against her sides.

"W-wait, Kazum-ahh!"

Her words were cut off with a scream as I pushed, rolling her down the hall rapidly. Aqua ran after her, giggling as she rolled her further, to Darkness' protest.

A few minutes later, Darkness returned from her bath, and I noticed we had a member missing. I turned to Megumin. "So where's Yunyun?"

"She went out when I said I was going to start the fire," she answered, "I think she went to visit that devil at Wiz's shop."

"Oh? I wanted to see if Wiz had any potions to make my skin stronger, actually." Darkness said.

"Well, if you're going to go, could you bring Yunyun back with you? It's nearly lunch time." I returned.

She agreed, and disappeared out into the late morning sun, while Aqua and I began to prepare our meal.

* * *

After lunch, Yunyun pulled me aside.

"What did you need, Yunyun?"

"Um, it's about Darkness-san." she answered timidly.

"What about her?"

"Well, at Wiz's shop, Vanir said he wanted to tell her future. He said that her family will meet great misfortune in the future, and that she will try to sacrifice herself, but it won't fix anything. He said her strength won't fix anything. Then, after she left, he told me her only chance was you, Kazuma-san," she explained.

"Me? Well, we can't do anything but keep an eye on her for the moment; make sure she doesn't do anything stupid," I grinned at her, "So we probably won't be waiting long."

She giggled. "Y-yes! I will watch her carefully, Kazuma-san."

"Thanks Yunyun. And please, just call me 'Kazuma'. We're friends, we don't need to use honorifics."

"F-friends? Um, it's no problem, Kazuma-san."

She ignored my request, and trotted back to the main room cheerfully.

I sighed. Why am I stuck with all the problem children?

* * *

"Kazuma! I want to defeat the Kowloon Hydra!" Darkness declared as she barged through the front door.

She had been whisked away by an elderly butler just yesterday to meet with that Alderp fucker.

"A hydra? Are you fucking with me? Those nine-headed-fuck-you-you-can't-decapitate-me assholes?"

"The Kowloon Hydra?" Yunyun confirmed. "I believe he lives in the hills nearby Axel, and is incredibly strong, though it's not a problem, as it is usually dormant, replenishing its mana from the surrounding land."

"Right," Darkness agreed. "It takes 10 years for the Hydra to replenish its mana, and it has been in hibernation for nearly 10 years now."

"So, it's about to wake up? What happens then?" I asked.

"It will go on a rampage and hunt everything it sees."

"So what happened 10 years ago, and the decades before that?"

"When the Hydra would exit the lake, there would be a strong knight corps there ready for it. They would fight it until its mana was depleted, but they were never able to finish it off before it escaped back into the lake to rejuvenate," she answered.

"So why can't they do it this time, exactly?"

"They are still at the Capital, looking for the Chivalrous Thief and Graceful Bandit. Unfortunately, they won't make it in time for the Hydra's awakening."

Oh. Woops.

"Well…" I offered, "if we're going to be fighting a Hydra, we need a plan of attack. And we need man power. Our party won't be enough. Look, Aqua and Megumin aren't here at the moment, so we'll discuss this later, alright?" I compromised, "And don't you dare try fight it by yourself. You _will_ die."

She looked ready to argue, but nodded without saying anything, and then left the room.

I swear to fucking god if this dumb bitch tries it anyway.

She wants to do this way too much for it to be normal desire. It most likely has something to do with what Yunyun warned me about, and possibly Alderp too. I'll need to be wary. I really should kill that fucker, considering he seems determined to cause more shit.

It would be good to defeat the Hydra, not just for experience, but for reputation too. If I could lead a successful subjugation, more trust would be put into myself, and the Capital would lose some, considering I'd be the one having to pick up on their slack.

I picked up the bounty request that Darkness had left on the table. Nine heads, large as a house, potent regeneration, and powerful magical attacks. It would not be easy to defeat, and the one billion Eris reward reflected that.

From what I could see, there would be three ways to kill it. First, sever all the heads before another could grow. Every animal with some form of higher function needs a brain to survive, and the Hydra is no exception, even if it has nine of them. Second, destroy its body with an attack strong enough to give it no time to regenerate. That wouldn't be easy, as I doubted even 'Exposion' would be strong enough for the task. Finally, was the method that had been used for who knows how long: deplete its mana so it can't regenerate, then finish it off with a powerful attack.

This final strategy hadn't worked, despite numerous attempts, so I leant towards strategy one. The problem that arose was, how does one take off all the heads? There wasn't an attack powerful enough to get them all off at once, and if the myths were accurate, any heads taken off wouldn't be gone long.

If I recall correctly, and it is an admittedly big 'if', it was Hercules who slayed the Hydra, and he did so by burning the stump whenever a head was cut off, so another couldn't regrow. Yunyun would probably have strong enough fire magic for that, but her 'Light of Sabre' spell may be too useful in removing the heads to switch her focus. Maybe I can increase the potency of my fire magic, but I'd need more points for that.

Wait.

Didn't Luna say you can change Job when you level up? What happens if I take a Job with a higher points per level?

I need to get to the guild.

* * *

"Luna."

"Ah, hello Kazuma-san," she greeted in return, "How can I help you today?"

I propped an arm on the counter. "You said that each time I level up, I can change my Job, right?"

Her eyes widened, "Y-yes! Though, Kazuma-san, you seem to be comfortable with your current Job, are you sure-"

"It's alright Luna," I interrupted, "I just want to know more. What happens to all the skills I have if I choose a different Job?"

"You will lose all of you skills when you change Jobs, and you will gain skill points equal to however many points you would have earnt if you had chosen that Job initially," she answered.

"So if I were to change my Job from Ranger, which rewards 2 points per level, to a job that give 4 per level, I'd get double the points to work with?" I asked.

"Yes," she confirmed.

"I see." I withdrew my Adventurer's Card and handed it to her. "What Jobs are available with my current stats?"

Her mouth dropped open as she looked at the card. "L-level 46?!" Her eyes darted to me, then back to the car, to me, and back to the card. "U-um, apart from Arch-Mage Jobs, y-you have access to e-every Job."

I gave a low whistle.

Darkness wasn't kidding. Having a high level boosts everything by heaps, huh?

"Say, you said Ranger was the second tier from Adventurer, right? Are there more tiers above it?"

She looked back at the card. "Y-yes. The final tier, the 'Hero' Job.

Oh. Rather ironic.

"How is it different from the Ranger Job?"

"You would receive 3 skill points per each level up," Nice, "and there is no penalty for upgrading skills either." Also nice.

I nodded. "Please give me a minute."

I spent the next few minutes writing down each skill I had access to, as well as each upgrade I had on each, then I returned to Luna.

"Have you decided, Kazuma-san?" she asked.

I smiled to her, and presented my Card once more. "Please set my Job as 'Hero', Luna. Also, please, just call me Kazuma."

"S-setting you Job as 'Hero'."

"Thank you Luna," I returned.

"I look forward to your future exploits, Kazuma-sama."

"That is _literally_ the opposite of what I asked."

I looked at my Card. No skills, instead displaying a whopping 138 points. I then reallocated nearly two thirds of those points back into the skills I had just moments ago, and leaving me with a remaining 58 points. Quite a nice Respec, if I do say so myself.

I spent a further 30 points to acquire both 'One with the World' and 'Devil's Consort', instantaneously quadrupling my mana capacity. I'd be able to do many things with these.

Now all I really needed was some man power, and the Hydra wouldn't stand a chance.

* * *

"Is everyone ready?!" I shouted.

Shouts of affirmation followed my call from the nearly 50 adventurers I had rallied to defeat the Hydra.

"Darkness, take point. Thieves and Archers up next! The rest of you, be ready to take over when I make the call. When you're ready, Aqua." I instructed.

She nodded, and strode into the water, casting 'Purification' as she went.

The dark water rapidly turned transparent around her, expanding in each direction to make a rapidly growing circle of clarity.

A few minutes later, the surface of the lake shook, and Aqua immediately turned and fled for the edge. She got out of the water, and ran back to me.

"It's coming," she said breathlessly.

I nodded, patting her back. "Good job. Get to the back, and be ready to heal anyone who needs it."

She nodded in return, slowly making her way past the waiting adventurers.

The lake shook again, and the Hydra emerged.

A massive reptilian body emerged from the water, nine separate, and very long necks following behind, each carrying a large draconic head. 'Size of a house' didn't do it justice; it was more like 'size of a mansion'.

The Hydra howled, a sharp, terrifying sound as loud as a canon blast.

"Thieves!"

"'Bind'!" they cast, a dozen magical ropes flying from their outstretched hands towards the colossal beast. Each rope wrapped around a pair of heads, pulling them all together into a cluster of rage filled eyes and gnashing teeth.

"Archers!"

Nearly two dozen arrows fired off, a thick rope following each. While the small arrows could not hope to pierce the Hydra's thick scales, but they were still able to become tangled among the magic ropes and squirming necks.

"Megumin!"

A cataclysm of water, fire, and steam erupted from within the lake, beneath the Hydra, pushing it out of the water, and giving the adventurers enough of a head start to fully drag the creature from the lake onto dry land.

"You n' me now, Yunyun." I said to the girl at my side.

She nodded resolutely. "Let's do this!"

We ran towards the Hydra together. "'Light of Sabre'!" she cast, and a pale light cut through one of the Hydra's necks, severing it immediately.

"'Inferno'!" I followed up, and a wall of fire sprouted into being by the neck stump, searing the flesh before it could regenerate.

The Hydra shrieked in pain, and brought all its heads down upon us in a devastating blow.

I wrapped an arm around Yunyun's waist, and 'Dash'ed us to the side, and upgrade I had purchased allowing me to carry her with me.

We continued in our attack, Darkness doing her best to keep the Hydra's attention away from us as we severed one head at a time. I ran out of normal mana after the fifth head, but pulled demonic mana to replenish it. I could feel it, bubbling beneath my skin, straining to be unleashed, but I held it back.

Yunyun cut off the eighth head, and I called forth 'Inferno' once more, but the demonic mana escaped my control, consuming all I had left in a brutally hot fire.

"I'm out of mana!" Yunyun cried.

Fuck. I was too, and there was no time to get to Aqua.

I ran in, drawing my sword as I did. The Hydra spotted me, roaring in fury. It brought its last head down on me, and I 'Dash'ed to the side with my last dredges of magic, turning back and delivering a final chop.

The head came off, and finally, the Hydra fell, dead.

* * *

**Hello all. Apologise for the week gap there, got really busy then. So Kazuma got a pretty significant upgrade this chapter, with his change in Job. He's getting pretty powerful, ain't he?**

**Anyway, I think I'm going to update on Sundays from now on, as I have more motivation to write when deadlines are approaching, but I won't necessarily have the time I need.**

**Another thing is, I'm going to be taking December off from updating this. We're around halfway through the seventh book right now; seven of fourteen, and I have no clue what's coming up next. I don't even know what Vanir's prophecy for Darkness is about, so I'm going to be taking December off to read ahead, and plan out what's going to happen in lager chapters. Hope you guys understand.**

**I'll try and get another chapter out next week, but it will probably be short, as I've got my other story to write as well, and if I don't get one out, I'll see you all again on the 5****th**** of January next year.**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic. **


	21. NOT A CHAPTER

**Hello all, this is not a chapter, just something I forgot to add on the last one. Sorry bout that lol, I am very forgetful.**

**So, I am part of a Discord server, one that 'andohmygodcholesterol' invited me to like 5 months ago when I requested a beta reader (Thank you very much for that, by the way, I love being there). The server is full of writers, artists, and a couple of youtubers. Just about everyone there reads fanfiction, and while the main focus is My Hero Academia, there's channels for just about everything else. **

**If you're a fan of My Hero Academia fics, then you may recognise some of the names, such as: Epsilon, the server owner, and author of 'Total Command'; Titus, a mod, and the writer of 'What's in a Hoard?'; Yojimbra, author of many great stories, like 'The Support', 'Fist to Fist, Heart to Heart', and honestly a fuck load more. As the server has so many writers, there's also a group of people (of which I am one) who offer there Beta services whenever you need them, as well as a bunch of channels dedicated to developing ideas into stories that could be written. We even have a couple of Minecraft servers! **

**I'm active there every day, so if you'd like to come say hi, meet a bunch of cool people, disscuss things about my writing, like future ideas with me in real time, and even get to see my chapters a little bit early when I post them to get edited (of which you can join, if you like), you can join me, at discord. gg/thehoard (remove the space, cos fanfiction doesn't like links).**

**Another thing, I've heard, and am aware that Kazuma has been becoming a more generic character, and he has been shifting away from his sociopathic nature that is the very premise of this story. I will be using my time off from uploading to try and develop him back into the monster we all love. Thank you to everyone for sticking around. Til next time!**

**Yours sincerely, H3ctic.**


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